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Showing content with the highest reputation on 09/28/08 in Posts

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    Warning...the word "love" is used in this thread many times. For those that have committment issues, fear of attachment or relationship paranoia this post is not for you!!! The word is not intended to represent the traditional understanding of what our society calls the infatuation that leads to the insanity of being "in love". It is a much deeper resonating energy that comes from deep within. That said.... This is a great thread! People are complete, unique entities and that is beauty of our existence. As Eve described there are those that don't understand the complexities of the human spirit. I have been there, opened the envelope and had my stomach fall out. I have learned and try to ensure it doesn't happen, but when it does, I chaulk it up to tithing. Obviously they are unaware in their essence and may never see the bigger picture. I feel pity for them more than anger. I have been incredibly fortunate in my life. Everyone in my "real life" who is in my inner circle knows what I do, and I live an inclusive life. My guests are friends from the moment we meet. The bond grows and the relationship matures. I have a couple of those incredible men that are my "down time" friends. They come and hang when I am in sweats and no makeup. They have seen the reality behind the show, shopped with me, hung paintings and mirrors, felt the intense focus of preparation. They keep me real during the panic moments. When my daughter made her "great escape" this summer, one sat and held me while I worried for her. He stroked my hair and whispered words of encouragement that I desperately needed to hear. His hugs kept me sane. When she arrived he was there when the inevitable questions came. He helped me explain what I do in a way I could never have articulated without it sounding like a sugar coating. When I think of him, inside I know I love him, he is my friend and will always be my friend. In their own ways my guests contribute to my life in ways that can't be put into words. Those that are so inclined and cut the mustard meet my family. I had a guest attend my daughters 18th birthday party. He is my friend. Another meets me for dinner at a local pub every Sunday evening when our schedules connect. We then sit and talk into the wee hours. It is time I treasure. I have friends that are welcome in my families homes. I have an unusual extended family and they open their hearts to those that want to enter and when I introduce someone as a friend they welcome without hesitation. My guests have had dinner with us, they come to laugh and celebrate our milestones. They offer guidance with their knowledge and life experience because they all come from varied backgrounds, there is so much out there I am oblivious to and their advice is always welcome. Loving in this world is crucial and I do so openly. It is unconditional and the "in love" boundaries are seldom breached for a reason that is beyond me. Perhaps because I am older and not the "fall in love" kind of girl. I have no expectations, and whatever they are comfortable with is good with me. I take each moment as it comes and enjoy what it brings to my life. The closest friends I have outside of blood ties in my life have all been guests. Some retain the guest priviledges, others prefer to go the platonic route. I trust their judgement in this arena because intense emotional connections with a physical aspect can be difficult. As I have eluded to, I ran into trouble with the US Feds and I found out who my true friends were. They weren't limited to my family and friends, my guests stepped up to the plate in spades. I had one show up to put his house up for my bond, others quietly delivered envelopes to my lawyers, some sent money orders to my facility to ensure I had necessities and some took collect calls and orgestrated communications that otherwise would have been impossible. To this day, these men are my friends. I love them for exactly who they are, not what they offer on a monetary level. They showed me that the connection I felt with them was real. The role I play in my guests lives is multifacited. I willingly step into whichever aspect they are lacking in their lives. Seldom are we given the opportunity to not play a role, and when a guest walks thru my door there is no role to play. They get to be themselves without fear of judgement, they are accepted for who they are at the basest level and the being "stripped" of his apparent identity is always infinitely more attractive than any role they play in their world. The soul emerges and it's incredible. I follow their lead, if they are looking for something that allows them to stay at arms length, that is good with me. But if they are seeking and their spirit connects with mine, I go with it. Are these men my friends? Absolutely! Is it difficult? No! Would I change it? NOT A CHANCE!!!!!!!!! Catherine
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