I'm not at all worried about this kind of thing happening with my son, Sixernine. I am no one's servant, period. Like Emma, I only use the term "service provider" here. I say that I'm a companion, too. I provide genuine companionship, warm friendship and a non-judgmental attitude. I feel it's an honour to have the opportunity to know my clients on personal and intimate terms. I have their trust and they have mine. I do have sex with them, not because they've paid for it, but because I choose to. Two of my long-time, regular clients occasionally want me to go out to lunch, or just cuddle with them while they talk about whatever is on their minds. They want my opinion about things they care about. I feel that we're equals. There's nothing subservient about me.
In my opinion, unless a woman has a pretty strong sense of herself; unless she's able to set her own limits about what she does, where, when and with whom; unless she's able to take care of her own emotional and psychological needs without depending on her clients to shore her up; and unless she believes in her whole self, in all of who she is, with and without clients, in and out of bed, she'll have a very hard time in this profession. That's not because the clientele is difficult: if you like men and enjoy sex, they're not hard to be with at all. It's because human needs for closeness, physical contact, affection and sexual activity are truly essential: they're a fundamental part of our makeup. We can have a hell of a great time together in bed, but we're fooling ourselves if we ignore how truly naked we are. Not everyone can share so much with many partners and feel whole. The ones who can't are wise to find another path.
I think that my work encourages me to have greater empathy and compassion for other people. It's my belief that compassion is the antidote to discrimination and inequity. I've learned a lot about myself and other people through this profession. My ideas of who and what is attractive, and who I might choose for a temporary or ongoing partner (unpaid, that is), have changed significantly. Men I once would not have approached with an eye to ending up in bed together are often the most sensitive, creative and playful!
As for what my son might pick up from me, I notice that children reflect what their parents feel. My son is a strong young man with an admirable sense of justice and empathy. I've seen him help and defend other kids who are having a hard time and are unpopular or difficult to be with. Once, when I asked him why he stood up for another kid, he said, "I looked at him, and right then I knew that it was really, really hard just to be him every day. I couldn't walk by and not try to stop what was happening. If you don't speak out when someone is being hurt, it's like you're saying it's okay to hurt them. He's not really my friend, but you don't have to be my friend to deserve to be treated right."