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I need to give my brain a good scrubbing. I saw the post title and immediately thought of labia :biggrin:

I don't mean to be rude but what the %^*#^ is with all the bbfs requests? I took some time off and since I've come back, so many men have requested bbfs "even if I pay you more." NO... No, no and NO!! I will not offer bbfs (although I do bbbj) but that's a whole different story. Did I miss a memo somewhere? What's going on? I've been around for a while and I have NEVER had this many requests. People, please play safe, get checked regularly and please don't participate in bbfs! It's not just about pregnancy or bacterial infections! There are serious viruses out there! I'm just shocked by the number of requests, as if it's normal. Please, don't let this be the norm...

Of course finding a serial killer should be investigated but to say that it is a waste of taxpayers money to investigate a police officer who has broken the law and the trust of the public is ridiculous. From the article: "Beebakhee is facing six counts under the Police Services Act, including insubordination, corrupt practice and deceit."

Hi Gents, Don't let the ink deceive you, I'm as sweet as they come and even more playful! Spending the afternoon at Paradise and I would love some attention ;) Come in for a relaxing full body massage and let me help rub those worries away. you can find me at 1902 Robertson Rd. until 7:30 tonight. For bookings call 613-820-8887

Thanks to everyone who commented in my last thread about what to do for a client retirement. I did a bit of a whirlwind tour and saw some of my favorites from the past and some new and some who I hadn't seen enough. I've sowed my wild oats and now it is time to take care of me. I have now come to the conclusion that it is time to do something else with my free time. I had lots of fun. Thanks to all the SPs who were there for me these last three years. Although I may pop in from time to time to say hi, it will be as an observer, not a participant. Bye and thanks.

Luscious Tianna, with thanks. We've been having a very hot pm exchange. :)

Isn't the proper answer, Replying to this post? lol

Cleavage is like the sun. You can glance at it for a second, but if you wear sunglasses, you can look much longer. :icon_cool:

It does seem bbfs is offered more and more these days or at least that's what we've been led to believe. I do think where there's smoke there tends to be fire. I recall not that long ago that a bbbj was unheard of, at least publicly and now it seems to be the norm vs the exception and often a deal breaker. The advent of come and go girls using a cell phone and bathroom selfie's could be the driver but I'm not convinced that is the only driver. In a small market like Winnipeg I think competition is also a factor, traveling girls have obviously found a lucrative market here and one just needs to look at the number of local vs traveler ads on ec ads to verify this and must be taking a lot $$$ out of the local market. Increased competition causes lots of reactions, competitive pricing can be one, using rumours of certain sp's providing bbfs to discredit them is another, we've seen outing's of sp's to family, friends and landlords and we do have a rep for cancelling and no shows which can in some cases be caused by friends of or jealous sp's, come and go girls who don't care about long term business or other issues. It could simply be a new generation of players who are fine with it and the risks involved. Due diligence by both the provider and the customer has never been more important than it is these days. And that has taken some of the fun out of the game at least for me. Peace MG

Once in a while you come to realize that so many of our members really don't "get" the whole hobby experience, or rather, they understand that there are rules but believe they are somehow exempt. So let's help them. Let's give some handy tips to make this a more wonderful experience for all. This is a pleasant place so let's keep it constructive... and be aware that the rules shouldn't just be for clients, you can also add some helpful tips that may help a new provider too! Here goes: 1. Appointment time is at 2:00 pm, what time do I arrive? Ummmmm. Hmmmmm. What part of 2:00 pm is ambiguous? A 2 o'clock appointment means you are at her door at 2. Not 1:55, not 2:10. It's seems petty but when you screw up her schedule, you may be screwing up MY schedule. I may be the appointment at 3. I have things to do... and my schedule may not be as loosey goosey as yours. I may be using a very small window of time or I may have "commitments" that see me arriving like clockwork elsewhere. Regardless, when the little hand is at 2 and the big hand is at 12, be where you are supposed to be. 2. "I am awesomely wicked good in bed, and I often masturbate to pictures of myself nude, because I am that good looking. Can we negotiate a better rate?" In a word, No. Would you go to a restaurant and say, "I am a really good eater, can I get a better price on that steak?" Would you go to a lawyer and say, "I am an awesome criminal, can you represent me for free?" Would you go to the dentist and say, "My teeth are so bad that you should fix them all for $50!" A service provider gets paid at a set rate because she is a professional. She is good... no, not just good... wickedly awesome good, at what she does. Your part is the compensation, her part is the wicked awesome part. Pay the pretty lady and be happy. 3. Cleanliness is next to godliness. Ever step into an elevator and stand next to someone who smells like they have never met a bar of soap they liked? Ever met someone that looked like they were an extra in the Walking Dead? Have you ever gone into a bathroom after someone and wondered if they ate something dead? Step one. Go to the potty. Do your business. Wipe. Wipe again. Wipe again. and then, wipe again. Do the optical test. Last wipe. Is there any residue? If yes, start over. If no, then proceed to step two. Step Two. Shower. Clean EVERYWHERE. Rinse. Repeat. Did you pay attention to anywhere in particular??? Hmmm??? Go back to those places. Make em sparkle. (at this point I do suggest that artificial glitter is NOT necessary.) Get out of the shower. Towel dry (for pete's sake use a clean towel!)... apply a generous amount of deodorant/anti-perspirant. Brush your teeth. (if additional grooming is required, please do that too.) Step three. Clothing. Go to the place where you keep your clean clothes. No. Not the place where you put the stuff that you THINK you can wear again. The CLEAN clothes. You know that stuff that you just took from the dryer and folded nicely?? That's the stuff. Wear that shit. Uh oh... what if I have to do step one again?? Then repeat ALL the steps. Cuz skidmarks are not sexy. Febreeze showers are not acceptable. 4. I have to cancel, what do I do? Give your head a smack. With a hammer. Stop. Now take a pointy thing and stick it with great force into your upper thigh, avoiding the artery. Now, go to your car. Start it. Open the door, put your foot beneath a tire and have someone put that car in reverse. Cancellations? NOT COOL. We all know that shit happens. A death in the family. A sick kid. Decapitation with farm machinery. Thermonuclear war. Explosion of your planet from a death star ray. That shit is acceptable.... but you still owe the pretty lady an explanation AND a cancellation fee. When you cancel, providers don't eat. When providers don't eat they get distended bellies and look like kids from the CARE commercials. When you cancel, providers give not only you, but also your city, a bad reputation. This makes you masturbate more. Because you will never get laid again. Ever. You will over develop muscles in only one arm. Your clothes will fit poorly. People will figure it out and suspect you are the notorious masturbating king of cancellations. They will hunt you down and kill your family. Let's keep little Bobby and Joanie safe. If you make an appointment, keep that appointment. Your family will love you for it. 5. "I'm a little short on cash. Do you think she will notice if the envelope is a bit short?" In a word, yes. She will also point out that your penis is a bit short.... and that your skill level is a bit short... and that you cry like a bitch when you have your pathetic little man-gasm. Do you want that??? Do YOU WANT THAT, bitch??? Wow. That was a bit over-emphatic. Gonna step away from the computer and take a valium. BACK!!!! Where were we... yes. Shorting your provider. Not COOL. Remember, providers have special powers. They communicate telepathically. As soon as you walk out that door, she will know and so will all of her allies in the super friends. They will combine their superpowers and make sure that you never get wood again.... and if you do, it will be at inappropriate times... like at funerals or family gatherings or when talking to your grandfather or something like that. Seriously?? Give your head a shake. If you are short then GET the money and make sure you have it set aside BEFORE you book. You will have a wickedly awesome good time... just pay the pretty lady what you agreed to and enjoy! 6. Can I pay her in drugs? Hmmmm. Does your banker take drugs in lieu of money? Have you offered Rogers drugs in return for their cable/home phone/cell phone/internet bundle? When you get groceries at Loblaws, do they have a special drawer that says "financial equivalent in drugs?" You know the answer. "No, you addled-pated simpleton." Remember the distended belly part from above? Providers take cash because cash buys groceries, pays bills and looks pretty. Carrying cash will not get you arrested. Using cash is the engine that runs our capitalist society. "All you need is cash, cash is all you need." The Beatles sang that, I think. Your turn....

I'm actually talking about food here...pervs!:biggrin: My favs are: 1. Light Tuna + chopped celery + chives + miracle whip on thick slice soft whole wheat/grain. Sliced diagonally in 4s. Kosher pickle on the side. Fresh brewed Coffee. Great for road trips. 2. Smoked meat piled high + Sauerkraut (drained) + Mayo + Dijon mustard on light rye. Sliced in half. Sliced Kosher pickle on the side. Light cold beer. 3. Rotisserie Roast beef med rare (rump) sliced thin & piled high but evenly. Fresh dark rye or better yet, pumpernickel. A little hot horseradish. Mayo. Clover sprouts. Sliced in 3rds. Small bowl of cold gazpacho. Chilled dry white wine. Yours?

I just wanted to say that I have to excuse myself from participating in this great community for a while because of a neurological issue I am dealing with. I have met some great ladies in my adventure and like the header reads its only temporary. It might be as long as a year but I will be still be online scooting my next adventure. All my parts still work fine, no need to be concerned, it is just a limb I have that is not working and making it very hard to move and even drive to the city for my play dates.

The Reuben sandwiches from Golden Rooster (Kingston) and Nate's Deli (Ottawa) are amazing.

Ill be back and maybe bring a lovely from NFLD with me....

Hello Gentlemen.. My name is Mandy! I have green eyes, long blonde hair, and a naturally fit body...I am a classy girl, and I take care of myself very well. I've been working in the massage industry for 6 months now... My services include sexy body slides, full body massage, reverse massage and lap dances if requested!... I am very easy to talk to and have a great personality... So why not come enjoy my beautiful behind, tight body and 36C natural breasts, you will be sure to leave with a smile :icon_razz: Feel free to check out my profile! You can find me at Paradise Spa, conveniently located in the west end of Ottawa... It is an upscale, classy and discreet spa!... Rooms include large mirrors, music, and black lights to intensify your sensual experience... In calls only please Schedule September 24th - September 29th Thursday 3:30-11pm Friday 3:30-11pm Saturday 3:30-9pm XOOOXOOOX

When things are looking up and I'm having a good day one asshole ruins it and you feel like shit afterwards.

Thursday Lilly 9-7:30 aka "Lillickens" Tianna 9-4 aka "Luscious.Tianna" Pandora 9-4 aka "Pandora" Mandy 2-11 aka "Candy Mandy" Hannah 3:30-11 aka "Hannahxo" Jamie 3:30-11 aka "Jamie-xo" Melody 7-11 aka "Melody" Cherry 2-11 Welcome Back aka "Cherry Blossom" Hello Cerbies....We are welcoming all feedback from our clients...... we appreciate any and all feedback to better improve our environment and services to our clients! Don't be shy to send us a PM :smile: And thanks to anyone that has already taken the time to provide us feedback.Thanks, Angie Our latest hire ...Riley 23 years old,5'1 feet tall,110 pounds,hazel eyes,32B. This cutie used to work for us a couple of years back! This blonde bombshell vogue model look alike will astonish you indefinitely with her striking beauty and top rate out of the ordinary service. No session with her is ever the same. She will tailor her craft to your deepest most unique desires. She will run her fingers delicately over your body and your heart will just melt. Her sensuality and sincere persona is not to be missed! Pics of Riley http://www.angelstouchmassage.ca/site/the-angels/rileys-profile/ New Sexy Pics http://www.cerb.ca/vbulletin/member.php?u=22187 Come for a 4 hand massage in our getaway room....an experience you will never forget Ottawa's Best Room! Regular Room spacious and in room shower Single Massage: 30 minutes $55. 45 minutes on special for $65. 60 minutes $80. 90 minutes $120. Session time @ Discretion of MA Duo Massage: 30 minute on special for $80. 45 minute on special for $100. 60 minute on special for $130. Getaway Room Fee: Room Features a hot tub,6 ft custom shower and fireplace for your enjoyment Single Massage: 30 minutes $70. 45 minutes $85. 60 minutes $100. 90 minutes $150. Session time @ Discretion of MA Duo Massage/Couples Massage: 2 Attendant 30 minute $100. 45 minute $120. 60 minute $150. Couples Massage: 1 Attendant 30 minute $70. 45 minute $85. 60 minute $100. HST included in all door fee prices Longer Session times available and at the Discretion of MA Mandy's Recommendations http://www.cerb.ca/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=120757 Tianna's Recommendations http://www.cerb.ca/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=136941 Jamie's Discussions http://www.cerb.ca/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=104412 & http://www.cerb.ca/vbulletin/showthread.php?ltr=J&t=114727 Melody's Recommendations http://www.cerb.ca/vbulletin/showthread.php?ltr=M&t=98753 Hannah's Recommendations http://www.cerb.ca/vbulletin/showthr...ltr=H&t=125137 ***NOW HIRING****ATTRACTIVE,RELIABLE MA'S WHO ARE HARD WORKING TO WORK IN OUR BUSY SPA****** Cherry

Come get a relaxing massage by a hot little vixen xoxoxoxoxoxo About me- Sexy petite 21 year old with long red hair, sparkling green eyes! Out going, bubbly and ready to rock your world!! Providing- Flirty and dirty relaxation massage Soapy sexy showers Reverse massages Body slides- Duo massages(4 hands, 2girls) Hotub session9s & you'll leave happy. Schedule TODAY: 4-11 Rates- Single Massage 30mins: $50 45mins: $60 60mins: $80 Hot Tub Sessions 30mins: $70 45mins: $85 60mins: $100 Duo Massage rates also available upon request Location- West-end, Clean & cozy Contact-To book an appointment please send me a PM

No smokescreen, she will actually take you for a walk into the woods, good times really..

Eyes are one of the most beautiful features on the body So Enticing

Ready to Satisfy that Sweet Tooth of Yours?! Try some Strawberry Shortcake! Natural Red Head, 5"4/5"5, Deep Blue Eyes, Skin of White Silk, 34DD, Hour Glass Figure, which means Amaaazing curves ;-) Let me show you my sweet side that has a kick to it ;-) Available today at 3049 Carling Ave...across from the coliseum theater 3-10pm Callbto Book Now! 613-204-2584

Decided to swing by the Mate last night as I was bored and I was not disappointed. There were a lot of hotties in house and they were all pretty frisky. Of note on stage were Summer (tall blonde) Mackenzie, Bambi etc I had a very nice convo and then sensual dance from Lela a brunette with awesome lingerie and a very sexy ass. Then I had some great chat with Ashley a girl from NS. She's not a spinner but the way I like em with meat on her bones. Nice big natural rack that was lots of fun to play with once we got in the CR. We seemed to click and that resulted in some great mileage. YMMV as always. She likes guys who compliment her, stroke her gently and treat her with respect. Spent the rest of the night cuddling with her and her friend...Marita I think her name was...another NS girl, quite short, black hair and big eyes with an ass you could bounce a quarter off. Yeah I got her to stand up and actually did bounce a Loonie off it....we were doing shooters, what can I say? There were a lot good lookers in house last night and I was kinda impressed as I hadn't been in there in a long time.

Happy Birthday !!!!! May you day be filled with nothing but the best and greatest joy. :) TC

Well in that case I will choose between Apples and Dimples Ummmh.....Dimples. They're just too cute and a duo with apples would be peachy. Now since I left out apples I will stay with a fruit vein. Kiwi or Kumquat?

You scrub your brain and I shall scrub your labia ....... Deal ? ;) and yessss....apparently due to budget restraints...Rogers has gone back to using birds for signal instead of satellite signal....... thus.... they have a flapping problem. Birds be sick :( can't flap today No wait ! That is for cel service flapping problem ! Rigggght !! R You having landline problems Chanel ? I will pop on over and deal with that flapping problem and shouldn't take more than 2 days .... ish but by cracky I will be there till the job is done !!! Disclaimer .... I am just the flapper fixer guy....If your phones do not work after I leave ... contact the phone company.....not on your phone cause it doesn't work.....use somebody else's phone.....

Happy Happy Birthday Isabella !!! I hope you had a most awesome day like you deserve !! xo

Best of luck and all the best. Hope you can recover sooner and return in action much sooner than a year.

Happy Birthday Isa! A great and kind person I've been fortunate to get to know. Missing You! Enjoy your special day! XOXO Cub

Beef stew and dumplings. I'm sure I'll need to make more dumplings tomorrow for the leftovers and I always make enough stew for the next day or to freeze.

Wishing you a successful recovery :)

Good luck to you, may you come back better than you were before! ;)

Put your post here. http://www.cerb.ca/vbulletin/forumdisplay.php?f=122 You'll get better exposure. Good luck.

My sympathies, I am going through a very similar problem and hope to get some answers when I see see the neurologist tomorrow. I don't think I'll be giving up this bit of recreation though.

Happy Birthday Isabella.

The Nova Scotia Section has some new and other advertising options for the many types of Providers. Go check it out and Providers now we have more options and ability to advertise what we love and enjoy providing!! A big thank you to Mod! You Rock!!!! Big Hugs, Lexy

Thanks for the info you 2, and the OJ all over myself Kathryn. Effin (excuse me) Rogers is going to be in my neighbourhood for the next 2 days AND in and out of my house!! How very inconvenient to me...and I had the embarrassment of having to cancel a playdate. Mother Nature is none too pleased the the moment. There will be no labia flapping in my house today or tomorrow. :icon_cry: Looking around for that confounded Hitachi! Additional Comments: And of course, I couldn't resist changing my Avatar! :icon_wink:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Route_flapping

Unfortunately, it is :( Indeed, those excuses along with "I am allergic to latex, can I get BBFS" and/or "I have been with my wife for 30 years, never had sex with anyone else during that time, I am disease free, can't get an erection with a condom, can we have BBFS" or the opposite "I am a virgin" get used a lot and those BBFS requests are more common then one might expect. Your back door comment is also accurate... These types of emails always have a pattern to them too. It usually goes something like this: - First, he let's you know he is disease free - secondly, he let's you know he is more than comfortable financially - then explains his monogamous life - then explains his problem with an erection when wearing a condom - then gives the lady/SP great compliments - then shares his concerns about the SP being disease free - then offers "papers" to show he is "clean" and requires the same thing from the SP - then there is usually a reinforcement about how good looking he is, how wealthy he is, how he would be a good client and how he cares about his health (and yours) - then they often go into the "if you are not willing to offer BBFS, please do not be rude because I asked" - and if you have the misfortune of dealing with someone who is persistent, after you say no, they will come back with other "valid points" as to why you should offer them BBFS, remind you that you would be missing out on a lot and then come back with a higher $number... From experience (not only personal but from other ladies), I can assure you that BBFS requests come from men from all ages. .................. I am posting this email request as an example, edited to protect the man's privacy and his personal information, just to give you an idea of the manipulation involved in those types of request. Since I was not the one to receive that particular request, my lady friend gave me permission to post it in this thread. "Hello, I'm a tall, fit, handsome, intelligent, respectful, 100% disease free man who lives in xxx who collects a hefty xxxx and who has been in a faithful relationship with the same woman for the past x years but sadly the passion is now gone and I need some fun in my life. I would like to see you as soon as possible. I am looking for one classy honest, disease free provider to share a series of very special experiences with. As long as provide you with info to do a thorough back round check on me as well as current up to date medical proof that I'm 100% disease free and I also need proof that your totally healthy as well! Can we do a 6 hour BBFS session? Please email me your decision, thank you. I am a member of xxx and I do take maintaining my perfect health very seriously. P.S I am not the kind of guy to jump into a BBFS situation with both guns blazing because my perfect health is very important to me but as long as your willing to be honest with me and provide me with all the documentation that you are totally clean and once we get to know one another and build a trust between us is a 6 HOUR BBFS session possible? If you are not interested just politely say no but please don't go out of your way to insult me because there is no need for that, thank you and I look forward to hearing from you as soon as possible. P.S I am more then happy to donate extra, for the extra care and consideration. One more thing I forgot to mention, I am very well endowed! I am built way above the standard in every way imaginable! "

Fleshing things out....just need details. My buddy's wife died the other day. He has taken her home to Cape Breton (their roots) to lay her to rest. The funeral is either Thursday or Friday (will find out tomorrow). Every time I showed up at their place on my bike and wearing chaps, she shamelessly and harmlessly flirted with me. OMG........it just occurred to me......Village People.....she thinks I'm gay! He's going to let me know when the funeral is, but he has no idea I plan to be there. It's a 6 hour run on the bike. so I'll leave at 6 am. I have cards from friends and family to deliver and it will mean so much to him. He's an awesome guy that let's people into his life carefully and fiercely guards his privacy, so he has few close friends, by choice. I hope to be there to support him, but not intrude on family time. I'll leave right after the funeral so I can be home by 10 pm to finish barn chores. All I can say is.........it's gonna be a cold bike ride! LOL Additional Comments: Freaking your kids out is a highlight. Last night, my daughter texted me from college. "hey.are you busy?" I replied "Yes....having sex with your mother". 10 seconds later I replied......."Done now...call me". She replied..."wtf, dad". .........for everything else, there's Mastercard!

Report it to Cowboy Kenny. http://www.cowboysdiary.info/

Is there a link? I am not sure who you mean.

Just found out about an hour ago that an old colleague and a very dear man was murdered yesterday in Toronto. One of the gentlest gentlemen, soft spoken, polite, calm and a very sweet disposition - I haven't seen him in a few years but this was like a gut punch - life is so precious and it can be taken away so easily....

Fuck Your Morals. ;) Just Kidding..... Ish. I do chemistry not Math. I have had some great conversations and connections with people through texting or Private messages and get this preconceived idea of who they are in my mind- I pick an age, and hair colour and all sorts of crap- then I actually meet them- and im shocked- that theyre either waaay younger or waaaaay older. At first I feel jipped lol. and a sudden loss of attraction to the mystery man I had conversed with. But then....I realize they are still who they were through the screen- Their sexy shone through then- so why let our brains or eyes rob ourselves from experiencing all the sexy people can surprisingly offer us? Morals/Ethics aren't set in stone. What you feel is 'right' one day may be trivial or non existent the next. Dont let your own brain hinder you from enjoying life..... Whether you're 18 or 81 ;) Giddy Up. *Remember To Live*

sitting here naked checking my emails

8. Safety first If you are a guy you KNOW that wearing a condom is akin to drinking beer with a straw. It's not as good as without but in the end, it's not that bad. Wearing a condom let's you go home to your significant other and not wear one. It's as simple as that. It also lets your wickedly awesome provider also go home to HER significant other (if applicable) and not have to demand that they wear one. It creates that safe barrier between both of you and the great unknown. The likelihood is that you are both very clean and very safe... but why take the risk??? If I can only make one super serious point in this entire thread, it's this. STDs are ugly. HIV is heinous. AIDS is deadly. Nuff said on dat. 9. Fragrance I know it's aesthetics, but we all like to smell good. Many of us have a particular scent that just works with our body chemistry. Not every commercially available scent is good. Ice Blue Aqua Velva is a manly scent that many of your grandfathers wore to cover the fact that their homes had no running water and that they could only bathe monthly. Aqua Velva, Brut and Hai Karate should not be worn by any man with a birth date after 1919. Bay Rum is used by pirates to kill scurvy and to keep other lonely, lusty pirates away. Anything that you purchased prior to the millennium should probably be used as drain cleaner. Febreeze is not an acceptable cologne. Scent should be used in a delicate fashion. You should be able to smell it only at very close range. Ohhhh... and your twig and berries do not require the assistance of any eau de cologne. No. They. Don't. Spray cologne on your arm. Now lick your arm. Lick it again. And again. And again. And again. Now give that arm a suck... oh yeah baby, that's what I'm talking about.... lick that arm until it gives you the goods... STOP. What does your mouth taste like? That's why you don't spray stuff on your tackle and bait. Ohhhhh... and here's a tip for both ladies and gents: If you are somebody that has sensitivities to fragrance PLEASE let it be known at time of booking. We all want to have a sexy time. Runny eyes, snotty noses and swollen tongues ... not so sexy. 10. First contact. Ohhhh the jitters. You have seen her. She is beautiful. She has two of those, and one of those and a great one of those... she has a beautiful mind, she expresses herself so well.... she's funny!!! She's profound. She's smart. She's perfect!!!!!!! I gotta write her. I have to PM her and ask if we can get together. I went to her website and checked the rates and the menu (like all SMART hobby guys do ;) ) ... and now I am ready to write her. I know what I want... I have the money put aside (thanks for reminding me of that Old Dog!!)... I am .... FUUUUCCCCCCCCCCKKKK.... what do I write??? Dear Alotta Fagina ... I have a 10 inch meat girder pulsing with lusty intent <THWACK> ... you're right maybe I was exaggerating, thanks for the head smack. Dear Alotta Fagina... I have a 7 inch purple python of love poised and waiting for your girl cave <THWACK> ... okay... maybe that sounded a little stalker like, but I do get kudos for being more accurate. Thanks again for the head smack. Dear Alotta Fagina... I have a 5.5 inch throbbing man stick just waiting for you to... <THWACK> ... okay... WTF??? Why do you keep hitting me???? Try "Hi Alotta, I saw your website and would be very interested in meeting you next Tuesday afternoon. Please let me know if that works with your schedule! Thanks, Happy Hobbyist." Simplicity works. You aren't writing a Penthouse letter... you are booking with a professional provider. She knows you are interested. She will see your penis. (There I said the penis word. Whooops said it again.) No need to go into goofy graphic detail... plus when you write that stuff, you get that creepy smile and that's frickin' scary ... stop it now. 11. Bacon Sandwiches. Providers - you know it. Bacon sandwiches save lives. It's not necessarily a deal breaker but I think it definitely would be a pot sweetener if you had bacon sandwiches as a mandatory refreshment at your incall. I like mine toasted with lettuce, tomato, mayo and a little salt and pepper. Cut into triangles, but you don't have to cut off the crusts. MegForFun cuts off the crusts for me but that is because she loves me. Bacon sandwiches will improve your business and will put you that much further ahead than providers who only provide ham sandwiches or cheese sandwiches and much further ahead than providers who don't make any sandwiches. Bacon sandwiches just make good business sense. wait there's more.... later ;)

Thought I would bring this back to cerb where you can find a zillion great bum shots like this one.... http://www.cerb.ca/vbulletin/album.php?albumid=5997&pictureid=38236