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The first thing to do is communicate well during the appointment. Maybe she's forgotten some of your favourite details. No problem; bring up the topic of the missing bits with a smile and a laugh, and guide her and the session on the course you had discussed. If you haven't established friendly, positive back-and-forth communication with your provider, then that's your first problem right there. Then again maybe there's some reason why, now that the moment is upon you both, she doesn't really feel comfortable following through. Again, communication during the session is key. Raise the subject in a friendly way to make sure she hasn't forgotten, and if she's not comfortable with X, work together to find another way to have fun that works for both of you. But ultimately, if all of your discussions to resolve the problem fail, then you need to remember that the contract between the client and provider is solely for time spent together in which things will probably happen, but there's never a guarantee. She's a human being, not a vending machine; your money gives you no claim over her body. So all of those details you discussed are requests, but there's never an ironclad guarantee they'll be fulfilled. If you ultimately aren't satisfied with a session, and your conversation with the provider hasn't resolved that to your satisfaction, then just don't go back. Chasing after your money with "but you didn't do X! Give me Y dollars back!" is crass and fruitless. And, last of all: don't compare sex work to other industries. The comparison is always misleading when it comes to these types of up-close human interactions. Your SP is not your mechanic.

Mighty Pen's words speak truth. There are times a provider hasn't prepared for the appointment by keeping track of requests. That would require keeping records and that is something quite discouraged by hobbyists. I don't provide a menu or promise a single service when I book my appointments for this reason. If a guest has a check list of activities that must take place during the playdate, I'm not the provider for him and I'm clear about this upfront. If a guest let's me run the session the way my intuition tells me he will leave smiling and completely satisfied. Walk thru my door with specific services demanded and you will be shown the door but I don't keep the envelop. I think it's dirty money at that point and brings no good to my life from a karmic level. A good provider trusts her instincts and if her spidey sense is tingling, the agreed upon services are at her discretion. She needs to be honest about why she won't provide the agreed upon services if she wants to make the appointment work. Won't kiss? Probably a hygiene issue at hand. No shower? She has probably booked appointments after you that weren't on the books when you set up your appointment and won't have time to redo her hair after you leave; or she feels it's a bad judgement call from a safety perspective. There are a 100 reasons the menu will change. Has the contract been broken? Yes. Is she required to give you a refund of some sort? No but if she's smart she will make it right. It's good business to be honest and keep clients happy. This business is only viable if you can build repeat business and violating the agreement doesn't accomplish that... cat

Watch this. I'm going to make a straight line between war rape and the Canadian Census. From a CTV news story: The federal government will not fund overseas projects that give victims of rape during war or child brides access to abortions, International Development Minister Christian Paradis said Friday. After a meeting of the Canadian Network on Maternal, Newborn and Child Health, Paradis said the government will continue with the funding guidelines it announced at the G8 summit in Muskoka three years ago. In pledging $3 billion for maternal and child health initiatives at the close of the summit, Harper said projects that provide abortion services would be excluded because there were so many other important projects to support. My first thought on hearing this news was that this was a bit churlish on the part of the Harper Government. Then it occurred to me maybe they were being sensitive to taxpayers who do not want their taxes paying for something they have moral qualms about. But then there is the 89 year old lady being hauled to court because she objects to filling out a census form that will be processed using software from Lockheed Martin, a major arms manufacturer. She has moral qualms about supporting Lockheed. So I guess the whole moral qualm thing only works if your morals match those of the Harper Government's.

I write this because I'm sure the MA's days are filled with great times and some bad times. Here's hoping the 'great times' are far more frequent!!!! Had a session with a ruffled MA because of their previous client. Not worried all was calmer is a few minutes with some kindness, assurances and being considerate and respectful of her plight. In the end, we were both very relaxed and thanked each other for a wonderful time and many more repeated visits. In times like this I am reminded of a story told to me by a dear female friend; Two stallions are under the shade of a tree on the top of a hill over looking a group of mares. The younger stallion says to the other; "Let's run down there as fast as we can, jump on a mare and fuck her brains out!" The other stood up and said "No my son! Let's walk down there calmly and fuck them all" Anyone can be an a$$hole and idiotic. It takes real strength and intelligence to be a kind, and polite gentleman. That in itself has it own rewards and gratifications.

I'm gonna play the devil's advocate, but is racism actually happening here? I too have my ethnic/cultural preferences in who I want to pay to see. Would one call that discrimination or racism or just selective purchasing? So, I assume the SP has the same right of choice as do I. For an SP, that same right of choice is just labelled as racism? Is my understanding correct?

I think the OP is asking a valid question if he is concerned about putting himself in an awkward situation upon arriving at a playdate. There can be a number of non racist reasons why a provider prefers to exclude a certain group. In my younger years I was married to a brown man and I didn't see East or West Indians because he was very well networked in those communities. I didn't want to open the door to a surprise visit from someone my husband may cross paths with. Ladies have a life outside of work and if they feel there is a risk of either being found out or causing someone they love embarrassment, they may opt out because of personal ties to a community. She may have had a bad sexual experience and her comfort level isn't there due to memories it may stir up while being intimate with someone. No one wants to have a melt down in front of a client for something unrelated to him or have him feel her discomfort when he is there with hard earned dollars for a playdate that isn't going to end well. Emotions are hard to control at times. In an industry that is constantly trying to overcome unfair assumptions, I find it's more prudent to simply not assume. If you have any concerns about your race, run it by your provider! She will tell you if she has an issue... cat

Vitto mentioned a very important thing, if you receive a particular request and can't commit to it then be honest and say you can't guarantee it but are willing to offer it under the right circumstances, the problem comes when as Christine already stated a provider takes a booking knowing she will not follow up. I agree that yes, there is YMMV but there's also lack of professionalism and being people or our services being too personal does not equal/justify us (escorts/MA's) being deceitful. I also think the way Cat works (I do it very similar to her) reduces issues like this as is difficult to guarantee services that depend of many factors, especially when you haven't met the person inquiring. So the gentlemen that look for particular services have more chances to have a successful encounter if, as suggested already communicate with the lady but also do research on comments made by others who have seen her (recommendations) and pay attention on if the things he is looking for are constantly mentioned, that would give very few chances to not be satisfied at the end of the date.

Sadly that is not true, things are slowly changing but racism is still very much alive.

Yeah. The current government in Canada (I hate "Harper government", 'cause fuck that guy) pursues strictly its own narrow, conservative, lopsidedly male and socially unaware interests. So it recoils in uncomprehending horror from the prospect of giving women reproductive control, as if it was still 1890. It can't do anything about Canadian access right now, but we're not going to lift a finger to provide it to others. So much for the "Promoting gender equality and empowering women" part of the Millennium Development Goals. It's a shame, because Christopher Hitchens in one of my favourite clips of him in a debate: But it's our fault we've got the government that we do, and the fault of the stumbling Liberals in the last election. We've got to come up with a credible alternative, and right now the left is fractured and ineffective. Let's see what we can do next time.

I am not ashamed of my new lifestyle. My 32 year old trainer who I've become pretty close friends with over the last 2 years knows about my lifestyle. It just came up in the conversation about what I do and does that give me time for dating. What I do really doesn't give me time for dating and taking the time to spend on a relationship that is needed to make it work. I was honest and up front with him and told him about my new lifestyle. At first he thought I was joking, as I am probably not the type of man you would expect to be in this lifestyle. We talked about all the advantages. He told me he takes a lady out to dinner, movies, drinks and at the end of the night he might get a peck on the cheek, never knowing what the out come will be. Turns out that I am having more sex than he is. He wasn't very happy about that part. ;) On a more serious note. I will tell people as the subject comes up. I figure what I do is my own business, but if asked by friends or family I certainly wouldn't hide my lifestyle. I know I've said this before and I'll probably say it many more times. I am so happy I stumbled on this awesome cerb site!!! My 5 cents worth.

I have never outed myself, nor do I intend to. There are 3 people outside of CERB that know what I do. For a lot of very important reasons. The most important being my family. For one, this would be the cruelest thing I could do to my Mother. The hurt would be as if I had cut out her heart because of her personality and religious beliefs. And while she is my best friend, this is one secret she doesn't need to know. Why would I do that to her? My very best friend knows and only very recently. She actually surprised me with her reaction (or lack thereof). She had a lot of questions because of her concern and the fact that she knows so little of this industry. I was upfront and honest reassuring her that the mainstream stereotypes she thought were fact were in fact not. Discretion is a two way street, and I expect no less from my guests. Since I see some very high profile and recognizable Gents not on CERB (Ottawa is not that big) there is rarely any divulging, even between my SP friends. Who I see is my business, their business and no one else's. It would be unrealistic to say that we don't share on occasion but these are women in the industry that I trust. My public life is mine and not relevant to what I do. Given my friend base I suspect I would lose some friends simply because of attitudes. I do not feel it is up to me to change that as I love them just the way they are.

Hey folks, here's a fun way to help support a local charity and stay informed about fake, flakes and frauds. For the next 30 days I will donate 10 dollars to the Ottawa food bank for every follower who follows my twitter feed ! More details here http://www.cowboysdiary.info/wordpress/?p=7521 It's a great way to lend a helping hand to a worthy charity and it won't cost you a cent!

Lets be honest, things happen at times in our second life that we lead (clients and companions) and sometimes things are out of our reach. I can say I have had a few clients over the years that have disappeared for when our date was to happen. Days later I heard from them with an explanation of what happened. Real people sincere people provide answers, maybe not today - but in a few days. I am sorry you were stood up, however I think this post could have been avoided or at least you could have waited a few days before posting as if she is as Reputable as you say, her name is her business and if something in life happened, once she is able too she will contact you. How hobbying is a secret in mens lives it is the same for most ladies as well and sometimes you just cant get to your phone. NO Shows piss me off to no end, however real life is a priority and not every person that no shows does it on purpose, I say give her the benefit of the doubt.

Except this business is unlike any other business, and yes it is about sex. It isn't about going to Sobeys, the Superstore or going to a hairstylist. Encounters are of a most intimate nature, sex being a part of that intimacy I do agree with you in one respect, in most likelihood I do think the post white gentlemen only is her racial bias. But even that said, she should not be pressured and coerced into being intimate with someone she doesn't want to see. And irrespective of being a business, it is also her body, no one else's. And only she can decide who she will have sex with. RG

This reminds me of a time I had a call from someone who sounded obviously immature. He was turning 18 and wanted a "hooker" for his birthday. I informed him that I have a minimum age and sorry, I could not see him. He stammered and stuttered and got quite angry at me. I politely declined to see him. 5 minutes later his "father" called me. Claiming he knew a lawyer, and that I was discriminating on the basis of age. I explained to Dad, that I have a right to see who I choose - end of discussion. Call your lawyer, but my lawyer will tell your lawyer that there is no discrimination here, just preferences. Dad then decided he wanted to see a "whore" (his words) and when could I be available. Well, of course, the Irish came out in me, and I politely told him that I don't see men over the age of 30, so therefore I could not see him either. The silence that followed was truly priceless. Some people just don't seem to understand that as escorts (or whatever term you want to call us), we have the right to choose who we see and do not have to explain why we decline to see some people.

To the OP...Sorry if your experience wasn't rewarding, but imo your only prerogative is to not see her again if you didn't fully enjoy yourself. I do hope you did enjoy your rendez vous based on the service you did get though...go with the glass half full... As for the money issue, if it helps, I have rationalized it with myself that if I ever seem to place an actual $ value on the pleasure I enjoy with an SP, then perhaps this whole thing is not for me. I forget about the $ the minute I make the booking..it has no value then....it's just paper....so I can never have a resentment that way. That is not to say that I dont have a top $ limit I will go, cause I do, and even then I bargain with myself over some ads I consider. As well I dont break down my experience by each service...rather more as it relates to my pleasure in its' entirety. I get that you discussed, and were promised certain services, but I dont think there is much you could've expected refund wise or can do now, besides not see her again, and as another post mentioned, possibly review her on another board.

Great thread! I used to live in jeans, until a soft tissue injury put a stop to it. Now I live in skirts. Not quite as sexy and revealing as the ones pictured here, but I still find they make me feel much more feminine than jeans did. And while my skirts are all very conservative for being out and about in the neighbourhood, my summer secret is, I never wear panties. ;) (My winter secret is I'm wearing longjohns. :/ )

First and foremost, YMMV is a factor in all encounters. And what is agreed to in a email or a PM is what she offers in her encounters and may be willing to do. Sometimes YMMV is spelled out in a lady's website, but sometimes it is implied. But most experienced in this lifestyle understand that an encounter with a lady, underlying all menu options she provides, is a YMMV factor. Yes, those menu options are services she provides. But not all the time and not to everyone. Example. DFK might be offered. But if you show up having bad breath, consider yourself lucky to even get a peck on the cheek. And no, she didn't break any promises IMHO. Or she might allow digits, but if you show up looking like you changed oil on your car, don't expect digits, and again, IMHO, she didn't break any promises Be realistic in your expectations too. A lady may offer MSOG. Me for example, at 52, one SOG I'm happy. But if I request MSOG and only get one SOG should I get a discount, no. A lady may have a long list of menu items offered but that doesn't mean each and every item can physically be done in one encounter And finally there is one other thing. You are not paying for services. You are paying for a lady's time. What happens during that time together is between two consenting adults. So understanding that, and the YMMV factor, the best option is to be a gentleman (including paying in full, good hygiene, showing up on time) and you'll find YMMV will have a positive meaning for you. And what happens between you two consenting adults will be something positive and memorable A rambling from a gentleman for who YMMV has been a positive term and has had positive and memorable encounters RG

There are some SPs who will promise anything to get you in the door and get your money in hand. But there are some things an SP might have a hard time delivering on after promising, sight unseen. DFK is one. I love to kiss, but DFK, to some people, seems to mean something I'd be more likely to describe as tonsil tasting or attempting to discern what I had for breakfast. Think of it yourself. You love DFK, but when you meet, you discover that your SP, while being clean and not having bad breath, simply doesn't have a taste or a style of kissing that works for you. People don't kiss to satisfy terms of a contract, but to explore, arouse and be intimate with another person. That's why I never feel comfortable being put on the spot to agree to such terms, sight unseen. I've always been skittish, and more quick to write someone off than to push for a sale (and I've only gotten worse with age, I know), but that's something to consider when communicating with an SP beforehand: some are working hard at selling, and others are working hard at identifying who will be a good match. I suspect you'll get your best service from the latter, if she chooses you. But too, I suspect that, like me, such SPs will be put off by someone who wants them to commit to too much, sight unseen. I recommend you only dive into "hammering out the details" of a contract if it's absolutely essential to you. And make it clear that you will not pay if it doesnt happen. But don't be surprised if many SPs wish you well and send you on your way.

First we don't know why the lady will see "White Gentlemen Only" Maybe racism. Or maybe as has been mentioned, she may run the risk of being discovered because her circle of acquaintances is a small non white community (hope worded right) or maybe as also mentioned, maybe something traumatic (PTSD) happened to her by someone of a certain non white ethnicity. Ladies in their advertising generally speaking post their photos, age, weight, body type etc etc etc. A gentleman looking for companionship but doesn't want to see a lady of a certain ethnicity can just do so from viewing ads without publicly stating he doesn't want to see someone of a certain ethnicity. He doesn't have to post "looking for white women only" But a lady not wanting to see someone of a certain ethnicity has only a couple ways to do it. First, post it in her ad, or second, in her contact form have the potential client state his ethnicity. And another spin on this. Would a gentleman who is non white really want to see a lady who wants to see white gentleman only. Because that could mean she is going to end up getting pressured to have sex with a man she doesn't want to have sex with. And that is the thin edge of the wedge to sexual assault. Irrespective of what we think of her advertising white gentlemen only, it is her body. And she, she alone gets to decide who she has sex with My advice is to move on, and be with a companion who wants to be with you. It sucks she restricts herself to white gentlemen only, but you also don't know why she has that restriction RG

For all you music enthusiasts, tell me, who is your favourite guitarist? For me, I have been playing guitar for over 20 years and have drawn on inspiration from quite a few guitar players that have left quite an impression on me. Just like everyone else, I do go through certain phases where I'm totally obsessed with a certain band for a certain period, but it's usually one of my favourite bands anyways. It is so hard for me to pick just one guitar player, but here are the top five guitar players in my books: 1) Randy Rhoads (Ozzy Osbourne): Total genious and amazing classical guitarist as well. Taken too soon from us. 2) David Gilmour (Pink Floyd): The Wall, Comfortably Numb, nuff said? 3) Matthias Jabs (Scorpions): Totally under-rated and often forgotten. 4) Kurt Cobain (Nirvana): While he wasn't the most talented player, he did come up with a ton of amazing riffs and rythyms. 5) Don Felder (Eagles): Two words...Hotel California

Someone actually did this to me once!! Not my client, but a regular of a friend I did a duo with. I couldn't believe it!

Actually, it does. When I singled out East/West Indian it effectively eliminated Indian, Black and Asian. All three of these races populate the West Indies so it was easier to say whites only rather than outline who I wouldn't see... cat

In my view it's inherently not a level playing field and due diligence and communication has become even more critical. Peace MG

You kinda are SOL. One recourse is to find a site where you can go post your experience, you cannot do it here but there are sites where you can. If she is dishonest with everyone eventually it will catch up with her, you won't get your money back but she will be out of business soon enough. Research is very important and I know cerbites religiously love their site but it is important to gather information from as many sources as possible before booking an appointment. If you do good research your chances of being disappointed are dramatically reduced.

I have seen 3 of their ladies and they are all great. Elise is definitely one of the BEST lady I ever spend time with.

This issue resurfaces from time to time on most boards of this type. Eventually, everyone reaches the consensus that the ladies have the right to refuse to see anyone, whether their reasons are truly racist or due to some other unrelated factors. Those ladies who explicitly state in their ads that they won't see clients of certain ethnicities usually suffer some degree of verbal abuse too. However, it is surely better for ladies to openly state their ethnic restrictions rather than withhold them. I'm Caucasian and have never been refused service by an SP. However, I'm sure that if I were a member of a visible minority, I would be humiliated and hurt if I arrived at an SP's place only to be told, "Sorry, I don't see your kind of people". I'm also sure I would rather know before even trying to book a lady. I've seen many minority pooners state the same opinion on other boards. About 15 years ago, I booked a Toronto incall lady, who was Caucasian. When we were done, she confessed that whenever new clients arrived at her apartment door, she tiptoed to the door and looked through the peephole. If the clients weren't Caucasian, she didn't open the door and waited until the guys left. Nice, eh?

Some more pics of Miss Rosie Jones; definitely worth another look (thanks cohiba69!)

It's easy to say "crappy reason" but the truth is we don't know why she has specified the race of her guests. I had a girl work for me who was gang raped by a specific race and she simply couldn't service guests of that race because she couldn't guarantee that she'd be able to go thru with the appointment. That was before PTSD was better understood but even passing someone on the street who was the same build or dressed the same as her assaulters would send her into a tail spin for days. The fact is this provider clarified what she feels comfortable with is all we really need to know. The OP wanted to know if he should disclose his race before meeting a provider and the answer is "yes" if he wants to alleviate any concerns he may have. The truth of the matter is that most providers don't have a problem with race because we know all humans bleed red... cat

Gosh I hope this isn't common. I understand that it's her choice and that's all fine and well but I find it... So .. It's just not something I expect to see. I guess it's good that she stated it up front. I'd hate for someone to get crappy service for such a stupid reason.

Closed..... Peace MG

Rosie Jones .....

I believe it was Phaedrus who recommended this duo for mmf ? Careful where you insert penis tho ..... one prick and partner be gone ..... ;)

Two independent MAs that I have seen recently give very strong, deep, sensual massage delivered from their lovely, lithe bodies. From temples to toes to the holy grail. Breath Taking Vivian http://www.cerb.ca/vbulletin/member.php?u=66050 and Madison http://www.cerb.ca/vbulletin/member.php?u=58936

Unfortunately, even it been discuss a lot in the past, no-show will always exist.. Like other ladies said.. the best way is try to avoid them by screening, etc... Anyway, I think I prefer to dont see somebody who dont have respect for my time and is not able to inform that he cant come for whatever reason.. A quick.. Hey sorry, I can't come doesnt cost much. If you dont have respect for my time.. So you dont have respect for me? Not interest to meet you! I had a no-show from a cerb member tonight. It piss me off, yes but at the end.. Its his lost, not mine. I had a great gentlemen who book me instead of him and he just ruin his reputation... Too bad!!

If I can't cuddle and kiss you I don't want to see you. Love my cuddles and kisses!

I agree, it is their choice. What nobody seems to want to say, is that it is also their problem.

I am not "out" or open at all. This life and my public life are somewhat different. However, in many ways, this life is more honest.....no lies, no regrets. I have come close to telling a couple of my closest friends about this lifestyle, but have backed off for one reason or another. I am a fantastic best friend and confidante and never betray a trust, but cannot be sure about others. I love my girlfriends on here and hope we're always good for and to each other.

You guys are like little detectives! I suppose I should help you out a bit though. We are all still independent however we have been screened and interviewed before being brought into the team to help one another out. Nikki knows what she's doing so you can be reassured that any of us in the team do too;)

Question 23 IF and when you start developing feelings for a lady companion, do you: A) Text her every single day because you miss her and because your day never feels complete without talking to her B) Start showing up at her incall unannounced so you can see her C) Drive by her incall and sit in your car and wait to see if she is seeing other clients D) Write her a love letter expressing your feelings in hopes she feels the same way E) Give yourself a headshake and take a step back to realize that, even though what you share with her is very personal and intimate, the lady has not become an SP to find friends, friends with benefits, personal lovers and/or a boyfriend and is not looking for any of the latter even if she genuinely likes you and appreciates your company.

Like others, I hardly discuss my sex life with anyone but my partners themselves. And most of the people I might be inclined to talk to about the sex industry's role in my personal life would react badly. I would get a lot of silly, misguided "but how can someone like YOU do THAT!?" One of the problems is that to do that conversation right, you have to both describe what DOES happen, and work hard to dispel what they THINK you mean when you say "I visit prostitutes". For that you need time, focus, and someone who can be thoughtful and challenge their own media-driven (often emotionally charged) preconceptions. To do all that, there needs to be some benefit that's worth all that work and risk. I've talked about it with one friend I knew when those circumstances lined up right, and she was great. We covered a lot of ground, she had natural concerns that I addressed one by one, and she understood by the end the positive role sex work could play with free, willing participants. I've also found myself stepping up in conversations to defend sex work and sex workers, without saying I'm a client. I can see this continuing to evolve.

At the conclusion of an encounter you should: A) Wipe all your drippy sticky parts on her good linens. B) Just hang out until she begs you to leave. C) Be polite, get dressed, say you had a great time and go. D) Suggest she surprise her next client with a MMF experience.

you mean he wasnt really allergic?! :P

For me the finale was almost letter perfect. I'm very satisfied. Lots of good good stuff. Like The Wire it's great not to overstay one's welcome..... as Dexter show runners did. Peace MG

I say "no thank you" to many potential appointments. If I dont enjoy the way the email is written such as lack of introduction, lack of effort ,etc. also if someone has an issue with my request for phone number, reference etc. I will decline and I dont take same day appointments or telephone bookings. I trust my instincts and if someone sounds off or iffy to me I simply say "take care and good bye". I haven't had a no show this year, maybe one in 2012. It works

When asked to share more about yourself on the booking form or email you: A) attach a penis photo B) share an brief introduction and ask if the lady requires any more details C) ask the lady if she is a cop

I like Halifaxman58 because he has risen to being a positive contributor to the board.

Madison of Nicole and Madison provides a great massage and does have a great body

First off, IslandIndependant, apologies for my earlier response. Seriously I don't function well without a morning pot of coffee, and should have waited till I got home from work before replying I read the lines starting with "If a man is paying..." and honestly, it sounds, even now more like some guys who have made posts that are disrespectful towards SP's For me, and I'm sure for a lot of the gentlemen here, seeing a escort is more than just about sex. Yes, most definitely, sex is part of the encounter, but not the whole encounter. I like the entireity of the encounter, the initial meeting, conversation, sex, kissing/cuddling Another way to put it, I like encounters of two to three hours. I'm fifty years old...do you really believe I have two to three hours sexual stamina at my age?...no, I like the company of women for more than just sex. I don't know whether you have such a narrow shallow view of escorting because it was your mindset before entering the profession, or you have only met guys as clients who view you solely as a means for their sexual gratification. But it should be mutually beneficial. And that, for me doesn't mean money for sex. It means money to compensate for the lady's time, with the benefit of no relationship complications. What happens during the time can be mutually enjoyable and pleasurable. Seeing ladies shouldn't be a zero sum game...that whatever the gentleman gains is at the lady's loss Some coffee laden thoughts RG

To get the full GFE, you have to act like a BF!