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I'm 'out' about being an escort in my personal life. When I meet new people, I test the waters before I tell them but I don't hesitate overly long. The issue I often face when meeting new people is something along the following. They say, "it's alright that you're an escort, but... your clients... aren't they kind of gross? Isn't it nasty to have to do things you don't want to do with people you aren't attracted to, or who are dirty?" I'm always really amazed that people say those sorts of things. I adore my clients, and I'm lucky to have had very positive experiences. They ask me lots of mean questions (i.e. about hygiene, weight, appearance, STIs, etc) as if this were a reason to stigmatize, or dislike, not my job as an escort, but rather the clients that seek my services... Ewwww seems to be their reaction. So I've done a few things to 'humanize' clients in the minds of the people I meet. I usually say, "Do you like your dad, brother, uncle, cousin?" "Well, of course", they say. "He's probably my most typical client", I respond. They are shocked. I say other things too, of course, but that's usually where I start... My question is for the clients on the board, if you could say anything to the people I talk to, what would you want to say about yourself? While I'm really good at defending my clients in these situations, I'm curious to see what other people would say if they could be open about their involvement on CERB.

"Civilians" don't seem to grasp the obvious -- an SP does not have to accept all callers and can refuse to see anyone for any reason, and do only the things you want to do (i.e., YMMV). Many other professions don't have that flexibility.

OOI, is this girls? Guys? Both? Just curious. I think something that most folks don't appreciate - or perhaps just don't want to think about - is how common the exchange of a sexual service for some other consideration actually is. How many guys have bought drinks or dinner for someone in the hope (or possibly even expectation) that she'd give us something in exchange later on? Pretty much everyone, right? Maybe we got lucky and considered it a worthwhile investment; maybe we didn't and felt rather bitter about the money we wasted on doing shots with that goddamn prick-tease. Ultimately, it doesn't matter: it's the same as the difference between seeing a good SP and getting caught by B&S. Or, if you want to protest that no money actually changed hands... most of us guys have been to a strip club on occasion, as part of a bachelor party if nothing else. Most of us have had at least one lapdance, which was presumably paid for by someone. I'll concede that not everyone necessarily enjoys lapdances (I have a couple of friends who, I'm genuinely sure, don't find them much fun at all)... but nevertheless: it's a sexual experience, it's paid for with cash, and most guys have been there and done that. But that's not the same as seeing an escort? Well, maybe not, but that's a difference of degree, not of kind. After all, when you started learning to drive you didn't go on the highway on day one, did you? No, thought not. I'll concede that more of us get to driving on the highway than get to seeing escorts... but the difference in numbers is probably less than many imagine, and very hard to measure in any case. So, if we're going to destigmatize clients, I think the most important thing is to realize that these clients are... pretty much everyone, really, whether they think of themselves that way or not. I don't mean "just normal guys"; I'm going further than that, and saying "almost everyone". If there's one thing I'd like to get across to the world at large it'd be the level of self-awareness required to see what you and all your friends and family are probably doing (or at least, have done in the past) and how that fits onto the same sliding scale, rather than being anything very different.

I can't speak for others, I can tell you I'm the nice guy who cares a lot for others. The guy that worked hard and long hours and saved his money to own a house and car. The loving husband to a wife he will always love. The man who had a dream of having a family. To give my kids what I never had to love and support them. To be called dad, and to be the complete opposite of my mother. I was an "ordinary guy" like most, until tragedy struck. My dreams began to fade losing the chance at become a father, then sickness struck my wife and another chance at becoming a father was forced to abort due to degrading and debilitating health of my wife. As my wife intimacy and love for me faded my dreams shattered. Along with my will and faith to live. In my darkest hour I planned my final hours and being with a woman one last time was part of it. It saved my life, the feeling of being loved stopped my dark thought, calmed me down and made me capable of thinking clearly enough to realize my need, to help me change. So your not providing some gross guy with sex, your saving a broken man life, helping him get back on his feet emotionally and mentally. I really don't care much about what society thinks about me I learned that lesson long ago. According to society and even statistics I should of followed a different path. Coming from an abusive childhood I should of been a hard drug user with a criminal record a mile long. No I chose to be different I stayed away from the path, I never use drugs and I have a clean record. I love to prove people who say I'm something that I'm not, wrong. Society can kiss my ass just like my mom who said I was stupid. Well I did graduate and go on to college. Perhaps were not ordinary people after all were extraordinary people. We don't have to waste time and energy to try and pickup some random girl. We don't have to lie to them and say we will call them. We are honest about it, yes it may be a transaction but its one that can end whenever I want without hurting anyone. We don't have to pretend we're something we're not just to "get laid". If that not being a gentleman I don't know what is. I think bottom line we are people all unique in our own way. We just do what we do to satisfy a need, desire or fantasy. We all have our reasons and that what make us human. So Nat you can tell them that we are human being and nothing less. Just like them. Thanks for standing up for us!

It's a good point -- but I think that in every case the high-profile figure is cheapened and tarnished by the association. He drops a couple of rungs down the ladder. It's just that his other obvious assets of money or power are strong enough to keep him pretty high despite this. In essence, "he's rich but suffers from a sad compulsion." More generally, and not really directed at your specific post: So why are men stigmatized in the first place when found out to be sex work clients? It's because of that central role sex has in the historical, conservative underpinnings of our culture: it's one of the primary currencies for measuring people's level of success. - Men who are accomplished are "supposed to" have easy access to sex being offered from adoring women who respond to his success and power. If he doesn't have that, then he must not be successful. And if he's paying for it, he must not have any other access to it -- there's something wrong with him. - Women are expected to hold their sex in reserve as precious currency to secure marriage. If she's spending it too freely, she's cheapened; and worse, if she's selling it, she must be desperate, like pawning irreplaceable heirlooms. These ideas look silly spelled out like that, but they really do hold powerful, often unspoken yet deeply held authority in our sexually conflicted culture. Plus, what exposure do most people have to the industry? Only the media's portrayal, which condemns it with one hand (sex! exploitation! desperation!) at the same time it uses the sexual allure to draws viewers with its titillating side ("Look at those fishnet stockings! Tsk tsk. ...mmmm..."). It's hard to blame people who have nothing else to go on. I think the thing I'd say to try to address the stigma is EXACTLY what Nathalie did so wisely in her first post: "these are the very same guys you know in your own life, and there's nothing wrong with them. It's not the clients (or SPs) that are faulty; it's your own ideas about sex and sex work."

Thanks for starting this thread, Nat. In answer to your question, basically i tell people, when the opportunity arises, is basically this, in one way, shape or form:

Predominantly women have reacted this way when I've mentioned I'm an escort. They're fine with my choice to be an escort, but wonder how I manage to have sex with people I find 'repulsive'. Younger men I've spoken to have reacted similarly, but the older gentlemen I've spoken to (in a general sense) haven't reacted the same way at all. My theory is perhaps they've visited an establishment, MA, or SP already, and/or have considered it sometime along the way. Of course, this is simply based on my personal experiences. From what I've read so far, most people would like to me to continue mentioning that my clients are normal folk with a broad range of motivations for visiting me. Do you think it's effective for me to invoke the figure of the brother, uncle, cousin, father when talking to these people? It shocks them, but I think it gets the message across...

Great post!! I am not "out". But I have told a few people. Thankfully they are open-minded enough to understand that both sides of the coin have normal everyday people, and do not apply the stigma. Some have showed incredible surprise. But I have had to educate. I have been very lucky in that sense. However, the general misconception can only be eradicated by more education of the general public. One of which we are all a part of. That, in and of itself, is difficult without outing yourself. But, I think as time goes on, our culture will change its general attitude, to a point. There will always be a seedy side to this business simply because it is a demographic. Demographics always have variables, but it is paramount to understand that those variables mostly include everyday people leading everyday lives. Not the reverse. The Gents that choose to share their lives with me, are for the most part, all normal everyday people. Some of my clients are high profile, so there can be a difference; but the general Gent is just that. The same goes with most SP's. If you saw me on the street you would never guess my little secret. I am the woman next door, I love my family, am active in my community, care about my neighbours and have many friends. I in turn extrapolate that to Hobbiests. It is so unfortunate that our culture doesn't see things that way. There doesn't seem to be a middle ground of opinion yet in the civilian world. To be honest I doubt there ever will be total acceptance. We place too much emphasis on sex in our society. Too much rides on who's doing who, how they're doing it and for what reasons. Until that ends there will always be a stigma. It's unfortunate, but true and wont change. So until then, humanizing the business is something we can all do, to a certain extent. Some more than others. I subscribe to SexBrainsMoney and I too applaud Mistert for being so forthcoming. Not everyone can do these types of interviews but the more that are out there, the more it helps. The more advocates that speak out, both SP and Hobbiest, the more mundane it will become. But sadly, not soon enough.

At Tease this afternoon 6 pm until late 5029 Bank 613-315-4405

A more efficient method is to leave a message with appropriate times to call back or a DO NOT CALL AFTER time. Not leaving a message leaves a question mark. Providers often get ripped online for not returning calls so they may assume you need a call back. Just leave a detailed message about what is acceptable in your particular case and it saves everyone in the end... cat

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And me, if I told people I know that I see professional companions, they would look at me shocked, because I don't fit the stigmatized stereotype of a client. And if I disclosed this part of my life, they would be even further surprised when they knew how highly I respect the ladies I see and how much the connection made and their companionship means to me. For me this lifestyle bears very little in common with civilian society's version of it. If civilian society knew the reality about this lifestyle, they would see that it is a mutually beneficial lifestyle, where ladies and gentlemen are opposite sides of the same coin RG

Soap bubble photographed by Haris Antonopoulos, Athens, Greece. Butterfly tongue photographed by Kata Kenesei and Barbara Orsolits, Institute of Experimental Medicine - Hungarian Academy of Sciences, Budapest, Hungary. The explosive dynamics of sugar transport in fat cells photographed by James Burchfield, The Garvan Institute, Sydney, New South Wales, Australia. Young juniper shoot cross-section photographed by Igor Siwanowicz, Howard Hughes Medical Institute, Janelia Farm Research Campus, Ashburn, Virginia, USA. Silicon nanocrystals in silicon dioxide photographed by Jan Valenta and Benjamin Bruhn, Charles University, Faculty of Mathematics and Physics, Prague, Czech Republic. Clione (Pteropoda:Gymnosomata) photographed by Liza Roger and Dr. Gareth Lawson, The University of Western Australia - Oceans Institute Perth, Western Australia, Australia. Crystallization of tartrazine photographed by Frederic Labaune, Education NationaleAuxonne, France. Annelid larva photographed by Christian Sardet, Department of Life Sciences, Centre National de la Recherche Scientifique, Villefranche-sur-Mer, France. Actinarctus doryphorus (marine tardigrade) photographed by Andreas Schmidt-Rhaesa, Corinna Schulze and Ricardo Neves, University Hamburg, Zoological Museum, Hamburg, Germany. Dew on spider web photographed by Massimo Brizzi, Empoli, Firenze, Italy.

Great topic Nat, as usual very thoughtful, thanks for helping make this corner of the internet one of a kind :) One aspect that is not talked about much here (excluding past references to superb documentaries such as The Sessions and Scarlet Road) is the astonishing therapeutic, learning and growing opportunities afforded by this community. With the help of many CERB ladies (and one in particular that will recognize herself :) ) I was able to transform myself from an extremely shy, ignorant, unskilled lover to a *badass* lover (ok, ok, maybe I wish that and I am simply a not too bad lover lol!). I have learned so much, about women, about myself, and I have gained confidence beyond my wildest dreams. I strive to share the best of myself in return. I still have much learning to do, but it is now *exciting* and *fun*, not stressful! This transformation would never have been possible if not for the ladies that chose this occupation, sharing their joy and vicissitudes, sensuality, patience, wisdom and support, with open hearts. I feel privileged. Maybe I am idealistic, but this really should be celebrated! So Nat, to answer your question, maybe you can say that some clients (at least one!), are thirsting to learn and improve themselves, as men, as friends to women, as lovers, and to discover women's mesmerizing erotic universe.

The police officer was under investigation and not Pink Kitty. Pink Kitty is still actively in business. I am not related to Pink Kitty but I exchange relevant information with them Valerie

Terrific thread, Nathalie! I would just really want people to know the respect I have for the ladies I have the opportunity to meet. I could handle assumptions that I must be a loser. Or gross. Could only possibly get sexy by paying for it. Addicted to boobs (okay, that last one may have some truth). But I find the stereotype that I'm happily exploiting women who must surely be victimized deeply troubling and insulting.

Wow. Im Speechless. You all make me feel like a Rockstar ;) Thankya! It's Because of all of you that 'Claire Heavens' is what she is. I'm so very grateful. So here's to more ROAR! Giddy Up and get your kink on :) X-O

I know you asked for client input but I wanted to comment here. I think the big thing that should be communicated is that our guests are just like anyone else. Everyone has wants and needs, some that get met and some that don't. Our clients are just more pro-active in having their needs met in a safe and enjoyable way that harms no one. Everyone needs human touch and companionship yet sometimes life gets in the way of being able to have committed and fulfilling relationships. As men and women, we too often deny ourselves basic needs for no apparent reason except that we "should". Our clients could be, and normally are, anyone of any walk of life, any color, race and even religion. No different from friends, family, co-workers, neighbors or favorite barrista. It's not just about sex, it's about human connection and companionship, touch, focusing on ones self for a moment in time. Something everyone wants at one time or another.

Yes, I face this almost daily too:( My statement is this.... I have never been treated with the amount respect and caring in my "real" life as I experience with my clients! My clients genuinely care for me, respect me and want to see me happy and safe. They open the door for me, they support me, make me laugh and blush. They wish me happy birthday, Merry Christmas and Happy Thanksgiving! I have dated, and those men don't even bother with any of that! As for the "gross" client, you have one chance to meet me. If you do not meet my standards, then you either show up next time meeting my standards, or you will get bare min service and not return. But truthfully, this hardly ever happens. I mean gross, as in not cleaned, showered, etc....I do not expect everyone to be a hunk, haahha...this is about a service designed to make men feel good about themselves, feeling cared for, looked after. So as long as they leave happy and confident, then so am I! I take pride in what I do, and put every effort into providing a service that accomplishes all that. There has been one or a few, that I had to have "a talk with" about hygiene. They seemed to have listened to me, as they do arrive ready for a date. But if you are ever rude or mean, then you are leaving ASAP. People just see us a s victims, or whatever....But after you chat with us, you see we are much more in control and have more respect then you would think. I AM NOT A VICTIM! I AM SELF EMPLOYED, PROVIDING A MUCH NEEDED SERVICE. AND THIS MAKES ME HAPPY. TAKE IT OR LEAVE IT! Best wishes, xoxoxo, Sophia OOOPSY, JUST NOTICED. This is a question for the clients hahhaha

Ladies and gents, its now official !! The Ottawa Christmas Social will be held Thursday, December 12th, so mark your calendar!! We are opening the Christmas festivities for 70 members in good standing (35 gents and 35 ladies). Loneskater and I have taken all the comments the attendees have made during the last social to keep improving these events! We are also be holding the festivities at a new venue. Gents, tickets are available at a cost of $35 (payable in person or e-mail money transfer), which will cover snacks, a drink for the ladies and door prizes. You will be kept updated via this thread as things progress. As it's an event organized by and for the CERB community, please contact myself or Loneskater directly should you have questions. Cheers!! MisterT

Yep Suki is real VIPOTG is advertising her on here too. http://www.cerb.ca/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=154174

Drive one down yer neck! (beer that is)

Happy Birthday YHZMan! Today is the day to super indulge! Vice is an oasis in this desert of mundanity!

Happy Birthday!! Hope you're having a great day.

Stare into my deep ocean dazzling blue eyes and get completely sucked into a state of bliss as I place you thoroughly at ease with my sensual massage begin and erotic bodyslides. Easy, everlasting connections are made with away as I am very playful and bubbly! Oh what fun we shall have! Let the yumminess begin. http://www.angelstouchmassage.ca/site/the-angels/marlies-profile/ Ease Into The Week End With A Erotic Massage .... Am Here Until 4pm 613-820-8887 Have A Marvelous Day ;) Marlie

Granted, a tree fort would be cool. But I don't have any interest in a guys-only private section. I can't think of anything I'd like to discuss that I wouldn't want the ladies to see, and in fact actually enjoy their input -- it is the main reason that I come to CERB. A guys-only section could turn into a he-man woman-haters club. The ladies are screened before they are allowed into the SP-only section. I can't begin to comprehend the effort that would be required to screen the guys. And how many guys could refuse the request to let them see the private section on their account from a lovely lady wearing just a smile? Ladies are strong, men a weak -- nothing in the guys-only section would be private for very long.

Ekaterina Enokaeva. Trip to Russia, anyone?? :)

The only "unsafe" way of communicating with an SP is in a public place (shopping mall, parking lot, lobby, bar, etc.), and only because doing so is illegal. No SP you'd want to connect with would communicate with you in such a way. All private communications, made by whatever means, are legal.

Happy Birthday HalifaxMan58 Hope you have a Fantabulous Birthday Party Hard and Have lots of Kinky Fun xxo

Happy Birthday HalifaxMan58 - hope its the best!

Among the ladies I have seen, none compare with Carrie's.

Congrats Love!!! Thats an amazing Milestone, keep it up xxo

I wanted something that I would be able to remember, even drunk. QWERTY was taken, so I added "account" to it. Now if I could just pick a password I can remember, I'll be all set.

Well done Claire - that is truly an amazing accomplishment and you should be proud of yourself.

Now put it away ;) I am currently on VACATION til November! Thank you everyone for your interest in booking with me and I apologize for the lack of availability- But don't fret- I will be returning in November.....and making up for lost time ;) Stay Sexy, Smile Hard, and Roar Loud! SINcerely, Claire Heavens check out my website in the meantime; www.claireheavensinottawa.com Or Text me but I may not be as quick to reply as usual- Due to being on Vacation! 613-899-5879 text only

It's unfortunate there are stigmas about this lifestyle out in the "civilian" world. These are the most honest relationships I've had with women, no expectations on anyone's part except to be treated with respect From my vantage point, the ladies have provided me with a much needed escape, companionship and in some cases even friendship. And all encounters, even though the gentleman pays the lady a donation, still respect the lady's boundaries. I feel I am a better man today for the ladies I have met in this lifestyle. And all the ladies in this lifestyle are very special, for it takes someone very special to be a professional companion. They are much more than just providers of sex. I feel more open with some of the ladies I see than other people in my life. They provide a intimate connection, an escape and companionship, one which I cherish and appreciate A rambling RG

Awwww This is So Sweet!!! Thank you Miquelon for this Thread very sweet!!! Thanks to all of you, I look forward to posting many more threads and photos xxo

I'm a mature provider as well...I don't consider myself a top booker. I consider myself a selective booker. ;) most mature ladies do. We consider quality time over quanity appointments.

I have so little body hair I never have to worry about razor burn but when I worked in a spa we used to recommend a product called "Tend-Skin" for ladies who shaved instead of waxed... and the ladies used to rave about it. http://www.tendskin.com/

I believe Georgiana Sweet also offers this. And if you were feeling particularly daring and adventurous, I suspect you could double the pleasure with a FS Nuru duo with both Gia & Nat. :cooter: Oh my! http://sweet-company.com

There sure is - the lovely Nathalie Lefebvre http://lovely-nathalie.com/

Close, and good on ya for apologizing. I'd only point out that your final conclusion is off the mark. It's not that you won't find those answer "here", it's that you won't find them "this way". "Here" is actually a pretty awesome, thoughtful and informative place. So here's to tomorrow being a better Thumper day! ;)

Many of us on this board don't do no shows So Thanks but we don't need enlightening. The way you are wording your comments you make it sound like we are all guilty of doing no shows and I am sure I may not be the only one finding this insulting!!!

What can we gentlemen do. Continue to be gentlemen, and show and not troll. And if we have to cancel provide ample notice, or compensate her if a last minute cancellation. And through posts educate those no shows/trollers. Ladies can always employ methods (screening/verification, deposits) Ladies deserve to be treated like ladies, meaning with respect. And no shows are disrespectful RG

The reason it isn't an OTC is that there are people who have medical conditions for which this drug (and others) are contraindicated. Myself for example, I'm on a prescription (which if I didn't take is like a life and death decision) but can't take any ED drugs, and ironically my prescription is why I had an issue with ED. But a lady posted about l-arginine and after consulting with my physician, he said I could use it. As much as an inconvenience as it is to see a doctor, he/she knows your medical history the best and is best to advise you. And as for some OTC Cialis, Viagra etc being sold on the internet or in other countries, can you really be sure you are getting the real drug and not some cheap knock off that can do you more harm than good RG

This is basically a multi part question. As an avid lover of nylon stockings, either thigh highs or garter and heels, I always migrate to the pictures of providers who post photos of themselves in a nice pair of nylon stockings (not fishnets) and heels. I always ask for them to be wearing them for when we meet. 100% agree, I would say that only about 20% follow through. I know I have the right to walk away, but feel awkward doing that. I have asked why they don't have them and I get a multitude of answers from, "it was too hot", "it was too cold", "the ones I had had a run" or the blank stare when you know you were going through an agency and they did not convey it to the provider who showed up looking nothing like her picture. My questions are these: 1. Do providers like wearing heels and nylon stockings? Of the ones who do, why? Of the ones who don't, why not. 2. If you show your photo's being in them, why not wear them to your appointments? To me, there is nothing sexier than an attractive woman in a nice pair of nylon stockings and heels. Do you men agree?