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After I meet him, A strong tongue, lol!!! No seriously-when I get the sense that the gentleman is just that -gentle, that he appreciates humanity, kindness, that he looks inside without judging the outside, when you get the sense that he truly wants to know the person he is talking to or with at the time, someone who is trustworthy and wants better for all. A man that is a kind, loving soul, soft and real on the inside but rugged on the outside- more simply put:)

Very good and provocative question. Not only do people in the general community ask me this, but I have clients who has asked me this on occasion. I don't think my clients have asked because of a lack of self-confidence, but rather, because of a genuine curiosity about who I'm attracted to, and under what circumstances. To those younger people who are attached to a movie star poster on the wall, I say "grow up". There is so much more to physical attraction than the purely physical. For me, it's the whole package deal that counts. I'm attracted to gentleness, kindness, a touch here, and a touch there. I'm a hopeless romantic, too. Respect, being treated well, and feeling cared for all make me feel...well...aroused. I find intimacy arousing. Usually, when I first meet someone and sit down to talk, I notice something. It's hard to put a finger on what, but there's always something. For example, handsome fingers (where will they go?), beautiful eyes (where will they look?), or a chest of hair that I can softly run my fingers through. I don't focus on one thing; for me, attraction is a whole package deal. When people talk to me about 'gross' physical characteristics based on weight, age, height, ethnicity, etc, I tell them we clearly have different definitions of 'gross' and challenge them to think beyond the 'poster'.

I found a few videos of Dancing Dogs... I am going to start with this amazing dog dancing a MERENGUE called "El baile del perrito" (the doggie dance) have fun and lets share some more talented dancers!

I've offered them on two occasions. 1) When I started to be an SP, I was living with roomates and had a really limited windows to offer incall so 15 minutes was better than a 4 hours session 2) When I had two regular that were clock wise, to see me two or three time a week for an in-out BJ during their lunch break. When I was in Ottawa, I used to live really close to gov building office My own personal opinion? I don'T like them. That's when I felt "use" as a whore, prostitute so to say and not as a human being , someone with feelings that may like to also receive a little of attention, be it a caress, kiss, slow lick I don't offer them anymore and will more likely soon remove the 30 minutes appointments.

That's exactly how I feel!

Great post!! I am not "out". But I have told a few people. Thankfully they are open-minded enough to understand that both sides of the coin have normal everyday people, and do not apply the stigma. Some have showed incredible surprise. But I have had to educate. I have been very lucky in that sense. However, the general misconception can only be eradicated by more education of the general public. One of which we are all a part of. That, in and of itself, is difficult without outing yourself. But, I think as time goes on, our culture will change its general attitude, to a point. There will always be a seedy side to this business simply because it is a demographic. Demographics always have variables, but it is paramount to understand that those variables mostly include everyday people leading everyday lives. Not the reverse. The Gents that choose to share their lives with me, are for the most part, all normal everyday people. Some of my clients are high profile, so there can be a difference; but the general Gent is just that. The same goes with most SP's. If you saw me on the street you would never guess my little secret. I am the woman next door, I love my family, am active in my community, care about my neighbours and have many friends. I in turn extrapolate that to Hobbiests. It is so unfortunate that our culture doesn't see things that way. There doesn't seem to be a middle ground of opinion yet in the civilian world. To be honest I doubt there ever will be total acceptance. We place too much emphasis on sex in our society. Too much rides on who's doing who, how they're doing it and for what reasons. Until that ends there will always be a stigma. It's unfortunate, but true and wont change. So until then, humanizing the business is something we can all do, to a certain extent. Some more than others. I subscribe to SexBrainsMoney and I too applaud Mistert for being so forthcoming. Not everyone can do these types of interviews but the more that are out there, the more it helps. The more advocates that speak out, both SP and Hobbiest, the more mundane it will become. But sadly, not soon enough.

Yes, in fact I think it's key to making your point. If you just say "they're like regular guys you see on the street!" then people just mentally downgrade guys on the street. It's easy when you don't know the people being invoked. But when you mention brother, father, etc. then you're saying "they're like the guys you care about." I think that conveys the message much more effectively -- clients aren't just "regular" people, they're good people. Thanks again for raising this topic -- it's a brilliant subject for discussion here.

It's a good point -- but I think that in every case the high-profile figure is cheapened and tarnished by the association. He drops a couple of rungs down the ladder. It's just that his other obvious assets of money or power are strong enough to keep him pretty high despite this. In essence, "he's rich but suffers from a sad compulsion." More generally, and not really directed at your specific post: So why are men stigmatized in the first place when found out to be sex work clients? It's because of that central role sex has in the historical, conservative underpinnings of our culture: it's one of the primary currencies for measuring people's level of success. - Men who are accomplished are "supposed to" have easy access to sex being offered from adoring women who respond to his success and power. If he doesn't have that, then he must not be successful. And if he's paying for it, he must not have any other access to it -- there's something wrong with him. - Women are expected to hold their sex in reserve as precious currency to secure marriage. If she's spending it too freely, she's cheapened; and worse, if she's selling it, she must be desperate, like pawning irreplaceable heirlooms. These ideas look silly spelled out like that, but they really do hold powerful, often unspoken yet deeply held authority in our sexually conflicted culture. Plus, what exposure do most people have to the industry? Only the media's portrayal, which condemns it with one hand (sex! exploitation! desperation!) at the same time it uses the sexual allure to draws viewers with its titillating side ("Look at those fishnet stockings! Tsk tsk. ...mmmm..."). It's hard to blame people who have nothing else to go on. I think the thing I'd say to try to address the stigma is EXACTLY what Nathalie did so wisely in her first post: "these are the very same guys you know in your own life, and there's nothing wrong with them. It's not the clients (or SPs) that are faulty; it's your own ideas about sex and sex work."

Great topic Nat, as usual very thoughtful, thanks for helping make this corner of the internet one of a kind :) One aspect that is not talked about much here (excluding past references to superb documentaries such as The Sessions and Scarlet Road) is the astonishing therapeutic, learning and growing opportunities afforded by this community. With the help of many CERB ladies (and one in particular that will recognize herself :) ) I was able to transform myself from an extremely shy, ignorant, unskilled lover to a *badass* lover (ok, ok, maybe I wish that and I am simply a not too bad lover lol!). I have learned so much, about women, about myself, and I have gained confidence beyond my wildest dreams. I strive to share the best of myself in return. I still have much learning to do, but it is now *exciting* and *fun*, not stressful! This transformation would never have been possible if not for the ladies that chose this occupation, sharing their joy and vicissitudes, sensuality, patience, wisdom and support, with open hearts. I feel privileged. Maybe I am idealistic, but this really should be celebrated! So Nat, to answer your question, maybe you can say that some clients (at least one!), are thirsting to learn and improve themselves, as men, as friends to women, as lovers, and to discover women's mesmerizing erotic universe.

I like this question, because it's not "what make someone HOT!?" but rather "what makes someone intriguing, and worth spending time with, learning from, and experiencing the world with?" For me it's a combination of things. Here's my wish-list, though it only takes a few of these to make me say "I'd like to get to know her better!" a) signs that she's walked out in the world for a bit, and been engaged with people and experiences she's encountered rather than observed from a safe distance. (People who have lived a completely safe and cloistered life are less interesting to me.) b) signs that she's suffered a few setbacks and some pain as a result of the risks she took in a), but while she may have bent in the process she's hasn't broken. (People who have never failed or suffered, and who have lived a life of unblemished success, are less interesting to me.) c) signs of honesty, charity, compassion, a tendency to root for the underdog; a sense of connection to all people, not just the pretty or rich or the most forceful personality in the room. d) signs of thoughtfulness and reflection, a desire to learn and understand new things, yet an inclination to action as well as thought. The ability to grow and change. The ability to change her mind when new information is available. That's what comes to mind first, anyway. ;)

For me wow, is very similar to cristy taste without the penis lol! Someone with a big heart, Radom acts of kindness. Someone none judgmental. Cares for others and animals. People are blessed with physical beauty its not by choice. Your not born with wow factor you earn it in my eyes. That through your action, your choices and thoughts, add some chemistry and WOW.

I really enjoy the saying, "everyone has a story to tell." Personally for me, when I meet someone new or reconnect with someone, I see it as a chance to learn something or grow into a better person (sounds sort of selfish but in a way it's a way we engage and find shared meaning within one another). I don't think I have met anyone that made me say, "wow, I would like to get to know that person better." Rather, the people I have crosse paths with in my life, have tended to make me say, "wow! I am really glad I met that person" because everyone has a story to tell!

Im going to try to bring the ball back around here. While everybody has a "type" that may make them tingle; not all is based on looks. Obviously. I learned a long time ago that everybody has something to bring to the table that is sexy and sensual. Be it personality, or a wonderful smile or respect, handsome hands, whatever. Example...when I was in my 20's I thought David Lee Roth was da bomb; until he opened his mouth in an interview. Any sexy in him went right out the window. That taught me a lot in judging what I personally find attractive in a person. I am a Nudist at heart, and have belonged to a club long before there were many. When you have been around as many naked people as I have, you learn pretty quick not to buy into the poster people. They are not real. Airbrushed, coiffed, make up, graphic manipulation, all add up to what you see. Yes some people are generally more physically attractive that others; but that does not make others non attractive. Perhaps I have become a realist where the human body is concerned. In my opinion everyone has something about them that one can find "sexy" or "attractive". To me it's also a package deal. The whole enchilada describes who a person is rather than looks. When one is young, people tend to buy into the poster people. But maturity and real life usually soon dispel that. I was considered cute at that age and was pretty popular. Cute usually doesn't last beyond 30 imo. Age and illness has changed my looks, but I am no less comfortable in my skin now than then. And how I view peoples sensuality abruptly changed with the David Lee Roth experience. I also belong to an historical group. Something that hit me very profoundly one day was a bigger woman saying why she loved dressing up and being in this club. She said it made her feel pretty. That stunned me as I always thought she was anyway. But her perception of her own self was rather skewed in that she still thought of herself as unsexy and unattractive when not wearing the pretty clothes. How does one tell that woman that you are beautiful, clothing or not? You can't. That is their own journey. I am in complete agreement here with Nathalie. There is always something. And it doesn't take long to figure it out. Intimacy is arousing, being treated well is arousing, men who actually care for me as a person is arousing. Those are the men that I personally want to come back. Because it is, to some of us, more than just sex.

I'm more of a documentary film kinda gal. Real life is much more exciting, controversial and entertaining to me than most things that anyone could ever make up. Just watched Blackfish. Trailer: "A mesmerizing psychological thriller with a killer whale at its centre, Blackfish is the first film since Grizzly Man to show how nature can get revenge on man when pushed to its limits." Saddest shit ever. :( It's all about the "Sea Circus" industry and one special orca in particular named Tillikum, who has faced hardship his whole life, and is now swimming around in a tiny wet jail cell all alone, sad and lifeless. Happy to say I've never visited a SeaWorld or similar establishment, and never will. The "education, research, conservation" spiel they feed people is corporate propaganda bullshit. It's all for $$$. Watch this doc.

A more efficient method is to leave a message with appropriate times to call back or a DO NOT CALL AFTER time. Not leaving a message leaves a question mark. Providers often get ripped online for not returning calls so they may assume you need a call back. Just leave a detailed message about what is acceptable in your particular case and it saves everyone in the end... cat

OOI, is this girls? Guys? Both? Just curious. I think something that most folks don't appreciate - or perhaps just don't want to think about - is how common the exchange of a sexual service for some other consideration actually is. How many guys have bought drinks or dinner for someone in the hope (or possibly even expectation) that she'd give us something in exchange later on? Pretty much everyone, right? Maybe we got lucky and considered it a worthwhile investment; maybe we didn't and felt rather bitter about the money we wasted on doing shots with that goddamn prick-tease. Ultimately, it doesn't matter: it's the same as the difference between seeing a good SP and getting caught by B&S. Or, if you want to protest that no money actually changed hands... most of us guys have been to a strip club on occasion, as part of a bachelor party if nothing else. Most of us have had at least one lapdance, which was presumably paid for by someone. I'll concede that not everyone necessarily enjoys lapdances (I have a couple of friends who, I'm genuinely sure, don't find them much fun at all)... but nevertheless: it's a sexual experience, it's paid for with cash, and most guys have been there and done that. But that's not the same as seeing an escort? Well, maybe not, but that's a difference of degree, not of kind. After all, when you started learning to drive you didn't go on the highway on day one, did you? No, thought not. I'll concede that more of us get to driving on the highway than get to seeing escorts... but the difference in numbers is probably less than many imagine, and very hard to measure in any case. So, if we're going to destigmatize clients, I think the most important thing is to realize that these clients are... pretty much everyone, really, whether they think of themselves that way or not. I don't mean "just normal guys"; I'm going further than that, and saying "almost everyone". If there's one thing I'd like to get across to the world at large it'd be the level of self-awareness required to see what you and all your friends and family are probably doing (or at least, have done in the past) and how that fits onto the same sliding scale, rather than being anything very different.

You said (copied/pasted) " I always thought that the general consensus was that all men were dogs and would do what ever they needed to to get laid" Men see professional companions not just for sex, but also for the emotional connection, escape, companionship, memories and even friendships made Reducing the transaction by saying the general consensus was that all men were dogs and would do what ever they needed to get laid (your words) feeds right into the societal stigma that seeing professional companions is about sex and nothing else. I know I value and respect the ladies I see, and I'm sure most gentlemen do. Does that make us dogs? I know I resent being labeled as such, I'm sure other gentlemen do to. And it's that labeling that leads to stigmatizing RG

It is a SCAM and when I have time I love to waste their time. I act all concerned when they tell me I have a virus that's affecting the whole network but not to worry they will help me. So I play dumb and have them guide me through the processes to rid my computer of viruses. What they try to convince you to do is to disable certain security on your computer that would allow them to install a msn type appllication that will allow them remote operation of your computer, in doing so they can install keystroke and spyware software and also install a virus cleaner that will prompt you to purchase a spyware cleaner of course for that you need to give them your credit card info. So I like to fumble my way around the computer and pretend like I don't know what I'm doing and just frustrate the hell out of them. Other times when I don't have the time I tell them "yes there is a message on my computer" they act all concerned and helpful and ask that I read it out to them. I tell them yes it says " Microsoft windows has detected that you are being scammed over the telephone please advise the caller to FUCK OFF" Usually they reply back with a barrage of slurs and nonsensical insults, my favorite being when the gentleman on the phone told me " you sir put your penis into your anus!" and then hung up on me, LOL

I recently had the pleasure of seeing miss Raven Rain. I can testify that her pictures are genuine but don't do her justice. Raven met me at the door of her very comfortable and accessible in-call with expressive eyes and a smile that lights up the room. Her long black hair cascades down the middle of her back and large all natural breasts just beg to be touched and sucked. We chatted for some time while gently caressing her lovely legs and talked about a variety of subjects in an un-rushed very friendly manner. After some very pleasant time passed we slowly undressed each other taking time for some passionate kissing before heading to the bed. I was struck but how soft her lips were and how relaxed and self assured she was as we explored one another. I'm not the person to give intimate details but will say that I had a fantastic session with miss Rain and how comfortable it was to spend time with her. She is a very sexy intelligent young woman that I plan to visit again and again. Shutterclick

I'm 'out' about being an escort in my personal life. When I meet new people, I test the waters before I tell them but I don't hesitate overly long. The issue I often face when meeting new people is something along the following. They say, "it's alright that you're an escort, but... your clients... aren't they kind of gross? Isn't it nasty to have to do things you don't want to do with people you aren't attracted to, or who are dirty?" I'm always really amazed that people say those sorts of things. I adore my clients, and I'm lucky to have had very positive experiences. They ask me lots of mean questions (i.e. about hygiene, weight, appearance, STIs, etc) as if this were a reason to stigmatize, or dislike, not my job as an escort, but rather the clients that seek my services... Ewwww seems to be their reaction. So I've done a few things to 'humanize' clients in the minds of the people I meet. I usually say, "Do you like your dad, brother, uncle, cousin?" "Well, of course", they say. "He's probably my most typical client", I respond. They are shocked. I say other things too, of course, but that's usually where I start... My question is for the clients on the board, if you could say anything to the people I talk to, what would you want to say about yourself? While I'm really good at defending my clients in these situations, I'm curious to see what other people would say if they could be open about their involvement on CERB.

For me that is enough time to answer the door, let the lady in pour the glass of wine and we start the conversation, either getting to know one another if the companion and I don't know each other, or reconnecting if I'm having a encounter with a companion who is more a friend. I personally prefer longer encounters, now I like four hour encounter. And I have had very memorable encounters where roughly two and a half hours of that four hours were spent in the living room of the hotel suite with the lady just reconnecting and enjoying each other's company. So for me, and speaking for me only, a fifteen minute encounter would be a very empty encounter, serving primarily one purpose. That is not to criticize those that seek such encounters out, it's just not for me A rambling RG

Thanks for the birthday wishes, everyone! I don't have any sexy fun planned, but the night is young.... I know it's my birthday, but I have a present for all of you. I hope you enjoy it.

A relaxed, friendly walking pattern, not too sexy, not too sporty, with a soft energy. A dancer maybe? A world traveler? We could share a passion. Curious eyes enjoying discovering the beautiful and interesting people and things around her. She values intelligence. That makes me at ease. A kind, gentle and joyful smile, when walking alone, when talking with strangers and friends alike. She's seems happy. I am intrigued. Grace under pressure when handling challenging and difficult situations. I am impressed. A bit quiet at first, she enjoys sharing her personality through her choice of clothing, jewelry, makeup and body art: red shoes, blue hair highlights, orange necklace, green eye shadow, violet tattoo, or black lipstick. (ah ah! Got you! You imagined the "Rainbow" girl before seeing the "or"... :) ) I want to to say hi! When I ask playfully her opinion about a good mystery book she read, her favorite gelato flavor, little known Michelangelo life stories she learned, or feedback on my new cool blues dancing moves... she becomes a bit shy. I am attracted. Walking besides each other, with her arm in mine, discovering together an intriguing part of the city, laughing at people... and at us..., saved from a jaywalk bylaw ticket by her graceful handling of the unfriendly officer, showing off her new steampunk short dress to the mesmerized kids in the street (including me!) while sharing a tiramisu gelato. Wow, this is someone I really want to get to know better.

Happy Birthday, wishing you an extra special, exciting, fun filled birthday:)

Happy Birthday PP Enjoy Your Special Day RG

count me in please :)

How do I get on the list? Thanks!! Loraine

Hope your birthday is as full of vim and vigor as you are. Filled with all those pleasures that whet your whistle and make you sing. Enjoy!

Happy Birthday Pete, I am sending you hot kisses and hugs on your special day! Enjoy this beautiful day , it is all yours. xoxoxo

Happy Birthday PistolPete.... May your day be wonderful....

Happy Birthday PistolPete - hope its a great one!

Happy Birthday Pete! Have an amazing day;) Huge Birthday Hugs and Kisses, Lexy

My birthday wishes go to PistolPete, a real pillar of Cerb. May this day be fun-filled, and this coming year bring only the best to you. Best, toine

And if I may interject without hijacking, the ladies we see aren't just regular people, they are very special and good people too. And I for one am a better person for the connections I have made with them A rambling RG

Happy birthday, PistolPete, and a lot of more encounters to come...

Congrats! That's some particularly prolific posting! Quiz question for the day: how many boobies has Miquelon posted in his first three thousand posts? Do I have any volunteers to go and count?

From Bianca Jaguar's album:

I saw Callie a while back. She is tiny as you can see in pictures. That is okay with me because I love spinners! She was great - really got into things and seemed to be enjoying it as much as me! I would definitely recommend her!

Terrific thread, Nathalie! I would just really want people to know the respect I have for the ladies I have the opportunity to meet. I could handle assumptions that I must be a loser. Or gross. Could only possibly get sexy by paying for it. Addicted to boobs (okay, that last one may have some truth). But I find the stereotype that I'm happily exploiting women who must surely be victimized deeply troubling and insulting.

A big thank you to the gents who have gotten their ticket since i officially posted last week! There are, of course, still tickets available, and these go on a first come first served basis (@ 35$). You can contact me (or Loneskater of course!) to get the ball rolling on getting yours if you haven't done so already. As for the previous social in September, Loneskater and I plan on settling the final details (payment for the snacks, drink tickets for the ladies, gift cards etc) two weeks prior to the social date at the latest. As such, i'd like to have all tickets sold by Friday, November 29th 2013 to ensure the best possible party for everyone! Cheers!

I think this has been brought up before, although perhaps it was on another thread, but you cannot have any legal contract that forces a person to perform a sexual act, or that punishes him or her for failing to perform that act. There are other rights that take precedence over contract law. So in terms of talking about a legal contract that can be enforced, I don't believe there can be one. In terms of compensation made to the client if a discussed act was not performed, I think that is fair if the provider agrees that the decision not to offer the service was not the fault of the client. I think it is a matter of reputation and professionalism on the part of the provider that is in her best interest. I also think that most clients are good people who don't deserve to go in with understandable expectations and then feel that they were deliberately misled and swindled. But I also think that the SP in question is the one best able to determine whether or not delivery of services was reasonable under the circumstances. I don't think forcing her to prove, somehow, to some kind of enforcement agency that she couldn't reasonably be expected to perform the act is possible. Putting someone in the position where they have to prove the impossible (how can she prove he was rude, or not clean?), or face punishment of some kind (financial, in this case) would leave a sense that a provider must do what sexual acts she's told or else. Especially when most contracts are apparently verbal. How does she prove she didn't agree to what he says she did? I assume the onus would be on him, but hopefully you see what I am aiming at. Talking about enforcing contracts leaves a lot of room for abuse and intimidation. Even if the contract is written (in emails, for example), in terms of enforcing that, how does a client prove that he did, in fact, have impeccable hygiene, or that he did not act offensively toward the provider? He's not any better able to prove his side of things than she is. As other's have pointed out, even if it were a contract enforcible by law, which I believe it isn't, there is so much he said/she said that I don't see any way to make a fair decision. And in terms of the decision, if a woman promises uncovered oral over the phone, and then declines during the encounter, what would one sue for? A $20 refund? $10 000 for mental anguish, including loss of self esteem? Again, I don't think potential punishment should hang over the head of a woman you are asking to perform sexual services for you. I understand that legal contracts were brought up to point out that there should be some protection for the client when contracting services, or simply out of curiously for how it would play out given the changing laws. But I am very, very uncomfortable with talk of enFORCING that sexual services be delivered. I do wish there were a way, other than doing a lot of research (I understand that sometimes anyone might want to make an impulse purchase of services with a feeling of safety) that would give clients some kind of guarantee that their money will be well-spent and their encounter will unfold as they hope. But whenever I look at punishing someone for not delivering sexual services it just gets a bit of a rapey vibe for me. Weighing the loss of money vs coercion to perform sexual acts, I find the loss on money is less bad. And I hold to that even as a client, since I sometimes see female MAs myself. I completely understand that clients feel they are always left without sympathy or recourse, so I hope this post hasn't sounded confrontational or, I don't know, lecturing. I'm just trying to show that the idea of having an enforcible contract in practice is not really workable.

Ya mean this won't work OD ? "Hi boss .... um I accidentally swallowed 40 ozs of rum, 12 beer, a few shots of something, haven't had any sleep and I am suffering discomfort as well from an 8 hour erection.... I just can't come to work .... I am sick" Ya can try this one I suppose ..... "Sorry boss it is Friday the 13th and I better stay home because Jason might get me" ???

I'm in...but everyone knew that already, hehe

New quality control testing will be required on drinks. I am up for the task but may need a new liver lol!

From Chantal Summers latest album: Very sexy pictures.

My most favorite thing to do is to say "hold on a sec" and put the phone down. Then I go about my business and "forget" they are still on the line. Most hang up after 10 minutes, but the longest was 45 minutes.