Leaderboard

I find these kinds of threads about BBBJ really irritating. Not because conversation about shared intimacies and health matters shouldn't be had, but because of how talk about sucking dick quickly shifts into the 'politic of the ick' (a term coined by sexologist Carol Queen). I will speak for myself. I love making out, I love having my pussy licked, I love sucking cock, alot of the time BBBJs and CIM (oh yeah baby), and, yet I do not identify as a PSE at all. Not a meaningful term to me. I'm GFE all the way. I do not make clients wear a dental dam to give me oral, and I do not put saran on my face when playing tonsil hockey. There are plenty of service providers, including popular and highly reviewed SPs who do not do BBBJ (understandable, and a very personal decision), but the idea of being concerned over providers 'being compelled' to provide BBBJs, and then omitting the way we normalize and by and large broadly accept DFK and DATY as meaningful and commonly provided services inherent to the work, (providing GFE), is problematic. Assessing the risks, negotiating the fun to be had, and getting regular health checks including throat swabs is a must. Let's not turn all SPs into victims of risky clients, and let's focus on empowering workers to enjoy working conditions where they can refuse work they deem unsafe....not to mention increasing access to non-stigmatizing STI health screening, and ongoing education. Signed, Cum lover

I just logged on a few minutes ago and took a gander at my profile to realize today is my 8th anniversary on CERB!!! As far as I am aware, pretty much only Emma Alexandra and I are the only ones left who joined in 2006. I'm curious to know who else is left on this site who signed up way back in 2006? Cheers, Spud271

I will give my opinion on this topic. I am one of the ladies who prefer not use explicit language in my advertising and in my posts because is not in my personality so I would be using what some like to read to attract readers and/or potential guests who would come see someone I'm not however I have always respected ladies who have a different approach than mine. There has been in the past one or two ads that I thought were a bit too explicit, or what you call vulgar and I admit to have made in my mind an idea of what the posters were like and with time through posts they started making that weren't ads, I realized that wording in ads didn't define the person they are, and definitely does not make them unclassy, there's also ladies who never use explicit language in their ads and even use the word classy in them and in my opinion (based on things I saw) they are not. Class is not in what you wear or the words one use in an ad or post but in how you (the real you) carry yourself so I don't think an ad defines if a lady is or isn't classy. As for the way some men refer to ladies here, I agree with you than some should be more respectful but is the same as with ladies, I have had a not so great almost encounter with a member here who in many of his threads comment how he is a gentleman and with me he didn't act like one which is why I think that words are just that and don't make us who we are. There was also a time with one of the most respected members here (don't think he is active anymore) was in the general chat room giving very intimate details of his time with a lady and using language that I wouldn't like to be used when talking about me so I asked to please stop referring to her like that and to take his conversation to a private chat, he told me that this is an adult forum and that I needed to grow up so I guess what I'm trying to say is that is not about the words used but the respect or lack of it behind them. Hope I am making sense :)

I think it's really important to think of risk as existing on a spectrum, because really, every time we have contact with another human being, there is some risk of some infection. So rather than think of things as a risky or not risky binary, it makes more sense to look at things as more or less risky, recognizing that all things entail risk. Even if you use condoms, dental dams and gloves and avoid kissing entirely, there are still infections that can be transmitted through skin to skin contact, such as herpes, HPV, syphilis, chanceroid, molluscum, etc, plus infections that aren't considered STIs, like MRSA. Every action and choice we make in life has associated risks and benefits. Ideally, we can have enough accurate information to know the risks, and assess what the benefits are to each of us, so that whatever choice we make, it's an informed one where the benefits outweigh the risks for that particular individual.

I think it all boils down to acceptance. We are all human and as such, have fluctuations in how we feel, what we want/need and the energy we're feeling at any given moment. Some days you're in the mood for intimacy and snuggles while another day you just want to be taken and pleasured. Depending on your mood, you gravitate towards the ads (or to writing the ads) that match but it also means that those opposite might stick out. Sometimes depending on our moods, we ignore all that doesn't match us or they stick out like a sore thumb and turn us off. I don't think it speaks to the industry as much as it speaks to people and to sexuality. Even if you were not in this industry in any way, you would still have all the fluctuations. If you had a partner, one day you might want to wine and dine and then another to bend them over the kitchen table. It's also about those things that are "outside our norm" or not the way we would do things. Again, it's human nature to say "I would never do or say that". As has been pointed out, everyone does what works for them at any given time of the day. I'm sure outsiders reading it would judge the industry based on what they see but honestly, we do that among ourselves too, don't we?

The Vee -garden of delight-because a man can plant his seed, grow his stem, discover a flower... -passion pit -pretty pinkness -playground of passion/private playground -tightness -holster -entrance to heaven -golden arches -temple of worship -love muscle -man trap sweetness

I have never and will never advertise my phone number. If a client cannot take the time to email me first, and display some patience, then I am not the companion for them. I always share that initial contact is via email, at which time further points of communication will be established. That's just what works for me and everyone really needs to fine what works them!!!! :)

I had a long time regular who I saw at least one a month, often more frequently for several years. She retired a couple of years ago and while we exchanged a couple of messages early on life has taken us in different directions. Our relationship very intimate, and very professional. I certainly wasn't in love with her, nor had any illusions about the boundaries of our relationship, but I benefitted tremendously from knowing her. From time to time I miss her deeply. I tend to be a repeat sort of client. When you find someone with whom you click, why not!!

Dare I say it? I now consider one of my clients a good friend. Crazy as that sounds .. We just have a great connection. He's been seeing me weekly since I started. I'm so happy to have met him. He reminds me that some of the best abd deepest connections are made in the weirdest places

Dear client, I am excited to see you and spend time together. I am excited to get to know you a bit. I want to know you well enough to get into your head and give you an amazing, hot session. I appreciate it when you let me in a little and share some things about yourself and who you are. What I don't appreciate is when you drop a bunch of casual bigotry on me in the midst of socializing and getting to know each other. I don't expect you to have the exact same values as me. For our brief time together that's not important. What I do expect from you is a modicum of consideration, social awareness and self filtering. Just enough so that if you have opinions on black or brown people, or "the gays", or poor people, or any other group that you don't belong to, you have the sense to keep those opinions to yourself for an hour. I expect you to realize that these opinions might be offensive to others and that sharing them is jarring and rude. I expect you to realize that you don't actually know me, and that I or my loved ones might be part of those groups that you think so poorly of. I want to have fun with you when we're together. I don't want to get into an argument about racism or sexism or homophobia or anything. I certainly don't want to have to choose between ending our session early or getting intimate with someone who has just made me very uncomfortable. I'm sure you're a complex and multifaceted person and there are many wonderful, fascinating, enjoyable, positive things you could share about yourself. Stick to those, as I do when I talk about me, so that we can both enjoy each others' company. Thanks, Your service provider

I just got back from my doctor. He is a specialist. Even specialists can have different opinions, so do as you wish with this; I am just passing on the news; obviously this is very personal and up to you. Recievers are at greater risk of infection. If you have recent dental work, an infection, sore, or have brushed your teeth or used floss aggressively, the risk is greater. Apparently if you use mouth wash before and/or after, it reduces the risk. Hope this helps.

I think its totally fair and makes complete sense to consider BBBJ along with other services (Greek, DATY, kissing...) part of a spectrum of services SPs have every right to refuse to provide for any reason as a legitimate claim on their rights to optimal health & safety. And, yes, while this thread is about gonorrhea, it's also become about issues of risk relative to BBBJ and other services as well. The NZ model represents the most ideal model in practice which we can draw and build on here in Canada. But, it does not mean a copy and paste approach is warranted. The idea that we will see success by outright banning sexual practices such BBBJ is nonsense. Again, creating markets, and expanding the rights of providers, including those who work for agencies to refuse ANY services they feel uncomfortable (or any client they feel uncomfortable seeing) with is alot more realistic. Aggressive educational campaigns and access to services that promote personal responsibility for ones's sexual health, including clients doing so will be another important piece. Along with increasing access to STI testing....hassle free clinics etc, and better educated and more receptive GPs. To go with this, mandatory health testing will also be a huge mistake despite many people saying it's a great idea, as it will create illegality where it did not exist before....where those disenfranchised from the formal registered system will be on society's shit list....and where all of the blame and medical control will be placed on the bodies of sex workers, instead of on clients and the general population. So, what's the connection between the mandatory testing and regulatory measures against BBBJ? What are we going to do?: Start fining workers who provide BBBJs to their clients?....How do we go about determining their 'risk levels'? Do we start tracking all SPs sexual partners in private to see whose bare cock they are sucking, maybe who they have screwed bareback on their own time and then use that as a reason to say, hey, no kissing and no daty with your clients....cuz you COULD have gonorrhea and/or you COULD give your client herpes. Banning BBBJs is going to create a specter of illegality and stigma. Bad idea! Sex work is not and has never been a level playing field. And standardizing sex acts like McDonald's happy meals is not going to resolve that.

I get all kinds of excuses as to why men can't send an email-I don't have access to a computer, I can't or don't know how to send an email, not comfortable sending one, it's to complicated, to time consuming, etc,etc.. But thankfully these excuses identify that this person is not one I want to meet. I believe that no matter how you decide to screen or accept appointments those wanting to see YOU will take those necessary steps, difficult or not, time consuming or not. Respectful gentlemen realize the importance of discretion, following instructions and booking protocols and don't question or complicate things. Additional Comments: Exactly!! My experiences have been the same , although I've omitted text for one of the reasons being the same as the email fakers. I ask for an email for the gents details other than that I want to discuss my services and details over the phone only and NEVER through texting . However a lot of guys I talk to say okay I'll send you the email required and never do, so I do get some players/fakers on the phone as well:( I guess no matter what method we use there'll be idiots with lots of time on their hands.

I don't see it as hypocritical (or that that is a fair assessment of risk level, to promote doing bbbjs, for example, i am not isolating your comment, just that it is often used as an attack on sps who say cbj only, but allow kissing and daty) because the risk LEVEL is not at all the same. There is still risk, but you compare two low risk activity with one high risk activity, and it isn't comparable. I also note the talking to the doctor, but my advice is to talk to the experts at an std clinic. Drs. are great at general info, but they are not experts in everything. They will either greatly exagerate or underestimate your personal risk activity. The std clinic professionals are the only ones, when i went in for testing at my regular clinic and std clinic, to ask me about throat swab or how i did oral sex, and pointed out that if bbbjs are done, then they go for the throat (so to speak). I don't think we can underestimate the risk to the sp, not necessarily the client, in a bbbj. She is the recipient, not he. I do think it is a moderate risk for clients, tho, not high risk but not no risk or low risk either. On the topic, tho, i doubt if it will change how many sps give or do not give bbbjs. I think the ones that do not now are mainly the ones who don't do it because they won't accept the risks, and the ones who do it the vast majority don't know the risks, they are allowing someone else to tell them, whether they are foreign workers or just younger workers, they aren't finding out for themselves the std facts. What is the most common thing available at an agency? bbbj. Is this service a condition of employment? Is it a condition of getting bookings or recommendations when sp is new to the agency? Some agencies have been reported that some services are mandatory, including high risk services. The only thing that this report will help is if the industry was regulated by Occupation Health and Safety lol I wouldn't call this an 'end' to bbbjs, but a 'return' to how things used to be. bbbjs are only common now that everyone thinks that there is a cure for HIV and/or that it isn't transmitted that way. as the OP points out, HIV is not the issue when it comes to oral sex, everything else is, and those things, untreated are evey bit as life or health threatening as HIV.

for me the time should start when the client says hello to the provider. The provider is offering time. When you go to a lawyer or accountant, the clock starts as soon as you sit down

Am I the only one who feels that the general level of dialogue in the forums has degenerated over the last year or so? I mean, I know we're all adults here, and all here to discuss very adult things, but it seems as though there has been a slide towards coarser and more vulgar language, to the point of it being almost offensive. I'm definitely not some kind od shrinking violet, and I have no problem with a certain degree of vulgarity. My favorite authors are some of the most disgusting writers, in a strangely eloquent way (Warren Ellis). But frequently reading customers referring to dancers and SPs as "pussy," and reading more and more ads titled along the lines of "cum let me stroke your fat cock until you soak my tits and pussy like a cum canvas" make me wonder if this is really how we would want the industry represented to outsiders. Just a thought.

If it "comes out hard", I wouldn't mind at all darling, but it may end up soft when I'm done with it. Sorry I couldn't resist.

Always, Always, I use the lady's preferred method of contact. But I must say I prefer using email, because first off I do plan encounters months ahead, and the ladies I see require screening/verification including a reference. Sending an email allows for me to provide all the required information Second, I live in smalltown, Ontario and besides planning encounters months ahead, no matter where I see a lady it's a long distance call, on a cell phone. Now if the lady I email wants to talk to me I will phone her...I pick a time to call where the call will be discrete for the both of us. But using emails is fine by me, as long as there is a final way to contact the lady to let her know my hotel room number (I like outcalls), be it by text, phone, email, whatever. A rambling RG

cristycurves, perhaps you misread. In the article you linked it says gonorrhea is not spread through saliva: DATY and DFK are legitimately less risky than BBBJ when it comes to gonorrhea (though still risky for some other STIs.)

I have noticed it esp in the ads.. but I think it comes from the influx of people who are used to posting on CL in the past and the general tone of that ad forum was more crass... To each their own. You attract what you like and what is like you :)

I used to display my phone number on my profile page and on my website, but discontinued doing so due to the enormous amounts of repetitive texts/calls I would receive from any one gentleman. Not that I mind answering the phone or texts, but to have over 1500 from one in particular, with no booking in sight, really made me have the final decision to remove my phone number completely and change my number. I will always be open to answering questions, but I do ask that anyone wishing to inquire do so through PM here, or through my contact page on my website. That way, I can have a more detailed question to answer. Should the gentleman be gracious enough to give his contact number and preferred way to communicate, then we can move forward. If the gentleman chooses not to reveal any way to contact him, then obviously we are not going to connect. I will always try to be as accommodating as possible to a gentleman, but please bear in mind that sometimes we, as providers, cannot answer our phones due to where we may happen to be at any particular moment in time. Discretion is a very large part of our business, and having a phone call at a very inconvenient moment takes that discretion away. I prefer to be in a private area with no distractions so that I may hear the gentleman and be able to answer his inquiries. Can't really do that when I'm standing in the line at the grocery store, or waiting in my doctors office waiting room. :) Patience is certainly a virtue, and I most certainly appreciate the gentlemen that do adhere to my request for PM or through contact. I, like them, am not available 24/7. I do sleep sometimes. I agree with Savannah, that if a gentleman wishes to communicate with me in the manner that I have chosen, then there is the start of compatibility. I do give the gentleman the option of having his phone number on my phone, that way, if he chooses to contact me again, I know who is calling and it does bypass the awkwardness of having to state that I am not in a good area, can I call you back in ten minutes. Great thread, will look forward to seeing some other reactions.

Many of my contacts say they have never hired an escort before. They know nothing at all about screening. Maybe they think if they phone enough escorts, they will find one who doesn't screen at all!

There appears to be some confusion in this thread about drug resistant bacteria. MRSA or VRSA bacteria are not transmitted through sex. Generally they are found in hospitals and nursing homes. MRSA has a variant which can be transmitted by skin-to-skin contact. Drug resistant bacteria are a problem that goes far beyond BBBJs. I don't think we can imagine the magnitude of this problem just yet. Some scientists predict that in our lifetime organ transplants will no longer be possible. Most common surgery will be impossible. Serious trauma may become fatal due to infections that cannot be treated. Our lives are going to change drastically for the worse because of this.

Germs have an interesting way of wrecking everybody's fun! :frown: Acts carry a degree of risk. On some websites, I've seen it measured. Maybe this new information will change this. What I am very nervous about are SP's being compelled to take that risk, whereas its voluntary for the client. There was a time when SP's were PSE and GFE. I can forsee a time where clients likewise can be defined as safes and riskys - two levels of business, if you will.

I can live with CFS and CBJ. I have never had a BBBJ so I don't know what I am missing there. But I could not go without daty. Even the concept of protected daty seems like - whats the point. To give up kissing - not going to happen. Practice good hygiene several times a day, and talk openly with your doctor on a regular basis. Stay educated, play safe, choose SPs and other sexual partners wisely, and decide what risks are acceptable for yourself. IMO. Final word - respect the other persons boundaries and limitations. Do not question their choices or push them where they do not want to go.

I reread the article wrong so my apologies. I've erased my first comment In the end and it's been said thousands of times, multiple partners will cause risks, no matter what type of sex you are having. We all have to be proactive about our health and bodies. Everything we do involves risk and most is choice so liked or not, risky or not I'm sure it'll continue with favor:)In the end, what you choose is your business what I choose is mine and I don't think much is going to change that. http://jezebel.com/5946480/rethinking-the-blow-job-condoms-or-gonorrhea-take-your-pick

Muffin! And Do you know the muffin men, the muffin men... lol Agree flower is nice, but muffin fav ;)

Well, while we wait for the ladies to chime in, there's this. To me, the clock starts when I walk in. The hugs, the kisses, the chit-chat are all part of the experience and the shower time is also counted. More importantly, were I enjoying the pleasure of your company, time is up when you say it is. Period. If it's at the 29 minute mark or 39, it is your time, your business, your decision. IMHO, sounds like you met a Class A twit.

I really hope this comes off the way I mean it and not abrasive. I can squirt, and get as many ladies I am sure am asked this question. Just because I can, doesn't mean I can do so on demand. I an not a machine or a circus clown. If you choose to spend an hour or so with me and this is something that important to you it really stresses me out to have you try and make this happen. Please think before you try to make this part of our date. Women are human beings and as such please don't force this . Perhaps a gentleman can last for hours or have several fantastic orgasms in a certain time frame. Great, but I bet no man would want to be pressured into doing so on demand. If I may borrow RG's line. K's rambling's.

"hey is this Ann?" "who's calling please?" "this is Fred. Watcha doing this afternoon?" "I...." "Whereabouts are you? I'm coming in from XXXX" "Before I say that, what is your last name?" "I don't go there." "Sorry?" "No last names." "So when you saw my number, just above it, it says "Screening essential." "Oh, I have never been asked for screening." "I am curious. Why would you go with someone who won't screen?" .....and why are you calling a screener? I hate narcissists! Additional Comments: "hey is this Ann?" "who's calling please?" "this is Fred. Watcha doing this afternoon?" "I...." "Whereabouts are you? I'm coming in from XXXX" "Before I say that, what is your last name?" "I don't go there." "Sorry?" "No last names." "So when you saw my number, just above it, it says "Screening essential." "Oh, I have never been asked for screening." "I am curious. Why would you go with someone who won't screen?" .....and why are you calling a screener? I hate narcissists!

I can recall a few times getting on the subway where we were pushed together closely. Not a kleenex in sight, and I am asthmatic. Being around people can be dangerous! Dr T also mentioned that risk increases with exposure. The probability that BBBJ is a problem is greater with frequent flyers. Problem is, it just takes one. I have a suggestion that probably occurred to many of you. Asthmatics have no choice but to take risks, they are all around us. It really burns my posterior that even simple kissing is verboten! Keeping and staying healthy will reduce the possibility of infection. Eat and sleep well, and love yourself!

Here are some of my favorites: Treasure Path (depends on how she grooms herself down there) Buried Treasure (requires some pubic hair) Sweat Spot Paradise Nectar of the gods

Hmm, I'm not sure I like what you've said here. Advertisements ARE personal expression. Each woman in this industry is unique and our ads provide a first impression into that particular SWers style, as the type of clients they wish to see. If one woman's style of advertising is to be what some may call "crass" (who the hell came up with the rule book on what crass looks like anyway? It seems to be individual perception!) -- what if that IS her being who they are, writing what they feel, saying what they think, being themselves and not needing to fit in a mold? Fairly presumptuous to think otherwise. I am in desperate need of new ads as I'm bored with mine, however the last thing I will do is read through and judge others ads. To each their own!!!

Re; regulate it OHS? Yes, absolutely it would be fair and reasonable to prohibit bbbjs, for health and safety issues. It is already like that in New Zealand. And what is fair about it, of course, is that all sps then are on a level playing field. The ones who choose to be safe and the ones who would market themselves as providing that higher risk but popular activity now would all be offering cbjs only. Not one over the other, but level and, in other words, the very definition of fair. Also, I will note we clearly agree on what was typical (no gfe, no bbjs) in the past (when you were at the agency) and now. It is a very real thing that sps are told that they won't get calls if they don't provide bbbjs. That to me takes the choice out of it, if they are an employee. But even with choice, to me it seems more dangerous when there is an sp working who really has no clue about her personal risks. That also takes away her choice, thru ignorance of her own health. In NZ, there are actually posters required in brothels and parlours on stds, and the regulations, etc, for this kind of information dissemination lol.

I am someone who writes better than speaks. So, naturally I prefer writing an email than talking on the phone. It just gives me more time to think about and use the appropriate words although I try not to emulate JK Rowling :icon_wink:. I also prefer to plan ahead. So, sending an email to introduce myself and to book an appointment is perfectly fine with me. If it is a last-minute type of scenario, then I would use my phone and only if this is an acceptable method specified by the SPs or agencies. I tend to think that if you use emails and do not provide the phone number, you might avoid some tire-kickers. But it seems it is not always the case as Sophia stated. The bottom line for me is, I will contact a lady in whatever way she stipulates in her ad., be it phone call, text, PM or email. It does not make sense if one can't even respect that.

I for one dislike talking on the phone except for a couple exceptions. In previous careers I was always attached to a phone or a radio or something that made me entirely dislike them. I also have had past issues with cell phone radiation and try to keep it away from my body, especially my head, as much as possible. This for me is the bigger issue. I only have a cell phone for texting, emails and other features I use regularly. I do not put my number in any advertising or on any website and actually removed a website that did and couldn't promise me control over it. I do provide my number to those I have seen and they can use it or not as they see fit. I try to be as accommodating as possible and will use the phone if someone has a reason for it. Mind you, the conversations are very brief.

I have no problem with escorts removing their phone number from ads. I actually prefer e-mails for first contact. Nothing worse than calling someone by phone and catching them off guard, or at a bad time, or not at their best. I have no problem with the lady saving my cellphone number to her cellphone. Just anticipate that I will do the same with her cellphone number. On a side note: Texting lingo and internet abbreviations are fine if you are contacting friends or associates - contacting a potential client or SP is not one of them. IMHO.

Dorinda Bloom is in Pembroke also, her recent released bathroom and milk bath photos look amazing.

I love it! I'm a major animal lover. People need to wake up and stop hurting and exploiting them.

Agreed:) But would that be fair or reasonable?

Just the bathrobe, opened and I think its masturbation night while catching up on cerb and tumblr accounts.

I have seen someone calling it Vajayjay - I thought it was cute. Whatever they are called, I love them all! :biggrin:

Laying on the bed, eyes closed, full/deep breath in, slow exhalation Visions of dew drops wings and diamond webs Peace eloquently wraps around my heart, my smile exudes from within Mother Nature surely is the most amazingly beautiful woman of all

Asking way too personal questions right off the bat (before even meeting). Once we meet and get to know each other, perhaps we will discuss more personal issues but to ask about my personal relationships, my family life, etc., within the first 5 minutes of a conversation/text/email/chatroom convo, is just plain rude. It is none of your damn business. I don't know you so why would I share such intimate information with someone I may never meet face to face? It has nothing to do with what OUR time together will be like. Sorry, quick rant :)

I work Paradise Spa, located in the west end The most clean, classy and discreet Spa in Ottawa This week's Scheduled Friday, Today 11:00am - 4:00pm To book your time with me 613-820-8887 xoxoxox

To walk out of work and see the sun shineing was absolutely wonderful!

I've been practicing since 2006 and have seen many wonderful ladies but have only repeat with one lady 3 times. I met her for the first time in 2013 and I'd see her more often but she is in Toronto and I don't get there often. Having said that I do like variety so tend to try different sizes, shapes, hair colour, there so many variable, I just love them all!