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I was recently contacted by a prospective client I have been in communication with for some time. He has expressed interest in seeing me during my next Ottawa trip. After noting the undesirable idea of potentially being with an SP who engages in such unsavoury practices as mentioned on this thread (using sponges, working during one's "cycle"), and after making specific note of this thread, he said, that, as a result, he was planning on instituting a new "screening question". He wanted to know as part of screening me if I work through "my cycle". This is an excerpt...the crux of what I wish to say in my reply as I think it has great bearing beyond the singular matter of communication between two people, as this thread and its carry over to other boards has stirred anxiety and dread in many of us who do the work: Dear potential client, I will look forward to your call should you wish to schedule a play date with me... As for the subject of the CERB thread and your new screening question, I will be direct as that is the way I am. I do not work when I'm on my period and certainly would not book my Ottawa trip when I'm expecting mine. But, if you noticed my enthusiasm on the thread, it was to nominate Emily J's post, which really did some justice to the fact that many of us experience spotting at various times in our cycles.....sometimes a bit during ovulation....sometimes randomly as a result of penetration....her post did justice to the reality that women are not robots with a series of inputs and outputs which we can calibrate to the utmost convenience. Many of us would be off more than half of the month if we did not work whenever there was either menstruation or some break through spotting. And, I will be honest, your new 'screening question' will be of little use to you. You can be sure that, when asked such a question, a great many SP will feel obligated into giving you some sort of answer to the effect of "no", rather than saying the question is invasive. In turn, the answers will likely not reflect our complex realities, such as in cases where we have periods pop up unexpectedly and still need to work, or when we are not technically menstruating but may have some breakthrough bleeding. I hope I'm getting through here. It took guts for the SPs who participated on the CERB thread to share about their bodies....to push the conversation deeper for the benefit of all. I hope that you have found my response on this matter to be sufficient to your screening process. Once you call, should you choose to call, I will be better able to finish mine. Cheers, Anna If we want to keep CERB a place that resists stigmatizing SPs, I suggest that our personal contributions to sensitive yet important topics like this be valued and noted for what they are; an opportunity for men...for our clients to get a better sense of how we actually experience our bodies. I do appreciate the candour shared here by service providers and plenty of willingness on the part of hobbyists who have contributed to the thread to evolve their thinking and assumptions and to encourage others to do so too. In the Spirit of continuing dialogue in a thoughtful, respectful direction.

Hi Angela, the fact you even raise this issue speaks highly of your style and professionalism!

I think that hits the nail squarely on the head piano. They regurgitate the same rhetoric that they hear from there favorite conservative voice, be it politician or clergy or whatever because they haven't the capacity for coming to their own conclusions based on fact checking and intelligent reasoning. Part of that is sheer laziness in their part but a lot of it has to do with a lack of intelligence and a bunch of brainwashing. We've seen this throughout human history. The Crusades, the inquisition, prohibition, the drug war, etc. Prostitution has always been the easiest and most targetted. And yet, here we are in the same old boat, the minority of intelligent, logical thinkers trying to persuade fools of their folly.

Individually, we are responsible for the actions we take and to put it on some one else to me is self serving and merely a justification for taking said action. I do this because I want to....simple as that. Peace MG

Their ugly comments are just glimpses into their ugly minds. They're not making objective statements about you, who they don't even know; they're just disgorging repugnant little bits of themselves. Small people will always attack what they don't understand, and what they fear.

I'm not a ridiculously experienced hobbyist but man when you find a really good SP that is professional, courteous and just a great time it really makes it an awesome experience

For CERB Goddess Of The Day today I once again have to nominate Emily Rushton. Emily as you may all know, has made many contributions to this board. She is a cornerstone of the CERB community and a valued member here. Just her presence on CERB and her contributions is enough reason to nominate her as CERB Goddess Of The Day Emily is also, well to put it mildly, a wonderful companion, down to earth, a sense of humour, beautiful, classy and so much more ;-) She respects the gentlemen she sees as much they respect her. Just look at the recommendation threads, she has a lot of admirers (me being one of them) She also doesn't take her clients for granted. You may notice after she tours a city, she writes a thank you post on CERB. Not to get clients. After all her tour is over. But to show appreciation to those gentlemen who made her tour a success. That shows class, and manners, the true signs of a lady But my reason for nominating Emily today is more personal. Life, ok more accurately family, threw me a curve, a devastating curve. One which put me in a dark tunnel (sorry for metaphors here) I'm still in that tunnel, but some light is at the end now. Although some serious damage has been done. (close to estranged from family now) But Emily has been there, managing to keep my spirits up, when things were down. She is more a friend, than my family is family This accurately reflects my sentiments towards Emily And Emily as you might gather, is the person who kept my spirits up, and kept a smile on my face Emily, you are a bright light, and I consider myself a very lucky man for having met you. And you certainly deserve, in my opinion, to get nominated (ok for the fourth time by me ;-) ) for CERB Goddess Of The Day Here is Emily's profile http://www.cerb.ca/vbulletin/member.php?u=22822 And Emily's website http://www.emilyrushton.com/ Although Thank You doesn't quite cover it, Thank You Again Emily RG

This lifestyle has a certain degree of risk. But as has been said before, everyone's sexual health is their own business. When you are intimate with someone in a poly amorous lifestyle, which this is, it is accepted that a risk exists. If a client chooses to proceed with an encounter with a lady, any lady, he is accepting a certain degree of risk. Likewise a lady, if she agrees to see a client, accepts a certain degree of risk too The argument of health risk here is a red herring. Each and every time a SP/Client engage in an encounter, irrespective of what menu items are performed, has a potential risk. Condoms and dental dams are risk reduction, not risk elimination. If a client truly, and truly believes in the risk of performing daty, simple solution, don't. Likewise, in the same vein, then show the same courtesy to a lady, and never ask for a bbbj. But really, if risk of STD/STI is a real concern, notwithstanding using condoms/dental dams, then perhaps one should re-think his/her participation in this lifestyle. Safer options are out there. Like an exclusive monogamous relationship with one partner. A partner who is willing to share her cycle with you. Or, and not being glib, masturbation This lifestyle is about risk/rewards. The risks, well for both lady and gentleman, STD/STI, being ripped off, assaults...well the bad side of this lifestyle has been discussed elsewhere on CERB. The rewards. For the ladies, a source of income, a livelihood for them. For the gentlemen, an escape, pleasure, companionship. So if you want to stay absolutely risk free, this isn't the lifestyle for it But if you want to reduce your risks, choose not to perform certain acts, or use dental dams But a lady, while it would be nice if she did let a client know, is under no obligation to let a client know her sexual health...because her sexual health, as is everyone's, ladies and gentlemen alike, is private and her own responsibility A rambling RG

I think that all of us are and can be sensitive to the other person, however I still have to say that offering sexual services while using a sponge and NOT telling your partner/lover/friend is not allowing them the choice. That to me personally is voiding informed consent. I don't think anyone would be as passive about that if the gender roles were reversed. We are women and we get our periods monthly. We know this. We should prepare for this. That would also mean to me personally, budgeting my income cash flow with my out going expense. I understand that some feel they can not do this. Some are not aware of what options they have in financial planning and we never know the bills of someone else so who are we to say. I understand that not everyone has the same business sense as me and I completely understand that while I have the advantage of working or not working at this point in my life, others do not. I am 38 and can fully retire. From every line of work. I am a rare breed in this regard. I accept this and do not preach. However, I worked extremely hard to get where I am. I am not in some luxury status now. I worked extremely hard, sacrificed a lot and now can enjoy the benefit of it. Being that escorting is generally a cash business, I can see how managing that money can be difficult but not impossible. There are many financial planning tricks that would work so much better for a companion. Things that would grant her the ability to take time off during regular menstruation but even more importantly, it would give her more freedom and control over her business. Something that I think all women should look into and not just because of this sponge/period issue. This industry does not, under any circumstances, have to be feast or famine. It can be very much different and I strongly encourage all ladies to look into proper financial planning to ensure that you never have to feel that feast or famine feeling. Having said all that, I really can't help but think of the men who have, for a variety of different reasons, issue with sex while a woman is on her menses. This would go for any woman in his life, including his wife. We are not talking about when "accidents" happen. I also fully agree that tact and respect when these accidents happen however is a must. However some of the comments from the ladies regarding her right to work trumping a mans right to informed consent to sexual services is a little shocking to say the least. I know I am the new comer here, but I can not support the idea of "he didn't notice, so I am all good". That does not work for me regardless of the gender role of the person or the issue that person might be having. Informed consent should be in my opinion the TOP priority when rolling in the sheets with anyone. Client or civilian lover.

First rule of the fight club: don't read the comments in mainstream media. Did I say fight club? I meant Canadian mainstream media. These sections are often (read: always) lacking critical thinking and intelligence. Thank you for at least trying to engage in a debate. Sometimes it is fruitless in those sections though.

Ladies, the next time you get a man sending you a photo of his penis, send him this card right back, and deny his request for a date Oh, and then block his number and email so he doesn't call back Morning smile :-) RG

So Gabby. when I break this paragraph down. ????? I highlighted the ....... Ahhhh nevermind. Wanna skip out on work Red and do and extended "Lunch" thing ? ;) Dine with some fine wine ? and dine some more ? Silly me. Wups Hijack. Carry on with the regular scheduled programming............

Further to what Malika said, I have endometriosis and struggled with heavy, prolonged bleeding. After BCP failed, and an IUD also failed... I bled for THREE MONTHS STRAIGHT!!! I bought my fair share of soft cups and worked anyway. It was no big deal. Should I have stayed home for three months with no income? Thankfully I had an ablation and it was the best decision I ever made. No. More. Period. Lol This is a normal part of life!!!

Well reading, OK continuing to read the thread, I'm rethinking my opinion. It would be nice for a lady to mention if it was that time of the month to a client. And not prior to an encounter, for him to decide whether to show or not to show. But when the encounter begins, so he can decide if he would like to perform daty as part of the date. But that said, everyone's sexual health is their own business A lady isn't compelled to answer if she has a STD/STI A man isn't compelled to answer if he has a STD/STI So why should a lady be compelled to tell prior to an encounter if it's that time of the month. She shouldn't There are protections out there to reduce risk be it condoms, dental dams etc. If a man wishes to perform daty use a dental dam Now I did say it would be nice if she did tell, but she shouldn't feel forced to do so On a related note, just as a lady shouldn't be compelled to disclosed, neither should a man. I had an encounter with a lady in Ottawa a few years ago. Well in the course of grooming myself down there the day before the date, I cut (well nicked more accurately) myself shaving, at the base of my penis. Even with a condom, a risk of blood exchange, no matter how minute, could possibly happen. I could have said nothing and gone forward with a normal encounter. Or cancelled, denying the lady income for a period of time she set aside for me. Or number three, which is what I did, tell her, and have an encounter that did not include fs or bj, but that didn't mean we didn't have a fulfilling enjoyable encounter So what is my point of this. No one is required to reveal their sexual health to anyone else, it's their own business. Second, that said, it would be nice to disclose something that may be of concern to their partner. Not obliged to do so, but it would be nice. Third, if there is something of concern, that doesn't mean IMO cancelling the date...it just means the date unfolds differently than expected...and different doesn't mean worse, sometimes different can be equally enjoyable. Finally encounters are about two adults engaging in intimate activities. Part of that is an expectation that everyone is mature, and understands life happens, and can deal maturely with life happening when it throws you a curve. A lady having her period is not the end of the earth. It is a normal fact of life. And both SP/Client can adapt and have an enjoyable memorable encounter if that happens A long winded rambling RG

I didn'T want to comment but I am getting a bit work out about some of the response @Cat as much I enjoy you and your wit and intelligence, I have to disagree with you on the daty aspect. This is one of the reason why I don't only do camming or dancing. I LOVE being eat out and having orgasms. I do it for myself because I am greedy in my orgasms. I have actually refuse to repeat with some people in the past because except for penetrations, they refuse to touch my genitals. I need contact with my clitoris to orgasm...so yes for me it is important for me. About the periods...OP I am sorry this happen. I can imagine how surprising it was for both people As for people saying an SP should take a few days off each time...maybe. Now, this is me getting into my personal life, but roughly two years ago I change from taking Depo Provera (an injection in the butt each 3 months) to regular birth control as compare to DP (eeh DP lol) was screwing my hormones over too much. When switching I've spotted and bleed for almost 7 weeks straight. There is NO WAY in hell could I have taken this much time off in a row, I've use sponges, didn't tell anyone and as far as I am aware no noticed it. Nowadays I don't particuarly bleed much during my periods so I don't work during the most heavy flow day but still from time to time will see people in the 4-5 days that I am spotting. Why? Because I see an average e5 clients A WEEK. If I had to loose 25% of my income, for a maybe small drip of blood, I couldn't afford to keep myself debt free, pay for school and pay for my tattoos addiction. And I guess this is my 0 cents since 0.02$ is rounded down now

Putting dirty dishes in a clean sink. You work hard cleaning up and putting everything away. If you have one dirty dish - wash it please.

You could answer the door in baggy sweats and still look amazing Sophia.

People who use bad grammar and spelling all the time drive me insane.... That and mini vans....

There is someone with a pro-C36 agenda. His/her method of attack has been to cherry pick the worst of whats said and display it as being representative of what happens in this industry. Recently, through some digging, she/he released the name of someone (a member of another forum) on twitter. This person has been getting cheered on by the other antis. Be especially careful now. I feel comfortable here posting more information about myself, but I have started being extremely selective on what I share. I know most are, but this just gives me the creeps.

I hope that clicking "thanks" to Ms. Anna Sweets articulate post, doesn't implicate me in some way ! LOL!

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Older than her ads says , rushed limited service, I was disappointed and would not see her again

Maintenance delay- want to be safe and get there alive but let us off the plane to wait.....

anyone been to both see her and kim? which would you reccommend between the 2?

I get annoyed with enquires that are " hey what's up" I have no clue how to answer that one? The sky is up, sun is up, north is up...hmmm.. also pop up ads on my phone, man those bug me! lol

Saw this and it reminded me of a couple posts in this thread: :)

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Wow, I am at a loss for words here after reading what SPs have to endure. Some of the stuff I've read is so off the top, I have a hard time believing some hobbyists are so inconsiderate. I feel for you so much! *group hug*

whenever I meet a gentlemen "gem" from bp, I make a point of telling them about the boards and ec. So many don't know that recommendation boards exist!

@ Jabba...I agree with your comments 100 %. What I posted applies equally to husband/wife (or bf/gf, or CL's) My answer was focused more on husbands only because the thread seems focused on husbands in a sexless marriage because their wives choose not to have sex But while one partner has every right not to have sex and to be celibate, she or he does not have the right to impose celibacy on his/her spouse. Like I said, find a sexless marriage, at least one person is seeking sex outside the marriage Thanks RG

I'm finding the recent discussion interesting, and has made me think about a few of my own assumptions. And I think that's what part of the recent discussion is about...what is a reasonable or standard assumption: a) Should (and "should" is a key word) a fellow be able to assume during DATY that a lady isn't on her period? Or... b) Should a guy assume whenever he is going down on a lady that it is possible she is on (or could be about to start) her period? I think this in part is where the discussion has evolved, and is a fair and interesting question. For myself, I'm in the "B" camp. Yes, it may be that a the risks increase if a lady is on her period, but menstruation is also a natural, frequently occurring process. It can't be viewed in the same camp as someone not disclosing an STD. It seems to me that just like someone who partakes in greek has to go in (so to speak) knowing there's always the risk of a bit of mess, those of us who love giving daty must do so knowing it's possible she is about to start her period, or on it and using a sponge. Another way of looking at the issue is this: if it's important for a guy to know whether or not a lady is on her period, is the burden of communication on the lady or the gent? I can see arguments both ways. After all, there's plenty of activities we assume won't happen unless a person communicates about it first. Maybe it's true this falls into that group. I'm not so sure, since the rule of thumb generally seems to be that if you have an issue to something fairly common/natural, then the onus is on the person with the issue to bring it up. And "shoulds" aside, it's clear it could happen regardless, so probably better to assume it's a possibility and go in with one's eyes wide open (or at least wearing goggles). :) Anyway, just some thoughts.

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Well although single, I'll offer a quick comment. Take it for what it's worth. When one enters into a relationship be it bf/gf or CL or marriage, something serious, not casual, something that implies exclusivity and monogamy, there is, or should be an understanding by both the man and woman that part of that relationship includes sexual intimacy. I for one believe that all women, including those in a marriage, are free to decline to have sex. But those women who have the right to choose celibacy for themselves IMHO are not free to impose celibacy on their husband. Put another way, the term cheating is bandied about for those who see other women. But really, how can seeing another woman for sex be cheating when sex is denied at home. What exactly is the man cheating on? If he received sex at home with the woman he completely (sex included) committed to, he wouldn't seek it elsewhere. And a sexless marriage where the woman is denying sex, she also isn't completely committed to the marriage Show me a marriage without sex and I'll show you a marriage where someone is seeking it elsewhere A rambling RG

I noticed that. She said earlier that there was someone who was advocating for child sex work, I asked her for proof of the statement and she didn't respond. And then when I noticed your name pop up, I was shocked, because it made no sense. And then when I read into it, I realized what happened. Unfortunately, and I know I'm going somewhat off-topic in my own thread, the antis have a general habit of glancing over facts. I hate to paint an entire group under the same brush, but time and time again, it's been their MO. Not once have I found out just one clear, concise person able to communicate without using the same old shtick of abusers/etc. And that's exactly what happened to you, someone who couldn't be bothered with fact checking made an incredibly outrageous comment, that under many circumstances would be cause for libel.

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Rule of thumbs is take the door with the lock on it, that's the one that should open. Just saying. Additional Comments: I love sitting by the window, and I never get the chance to seat there.

If someone is unhappy about something they bought at a store they sure don't grab money out of the till to compensate. Additional Comments: Too many guys think every encounter has to be perfect. But we all wear seatbelts, we all have house insurance, we accept things can go wrong in everyday life. Intimacy is no different, hey it wasn't perfect that time but you just carry on.

This is a very touchy subject as once stated I did look 15 when I was 18 and new into this buisness... So as coming from someone in the same boat Lexi. Having your id is a good idea Yes I understand the concerns But what I did was I didn't photocopy anything or nothing when I was asked to prove my age (which was a lot) I simply explained to my clients that I will but would like to cover my personal info and only show my age and 100% of them did understand why and were very understanding I'm sorry about what happened to you and can see why you are being more confrontational and more security with personal items like that :) Anyways girl do what you see is safest for you and don't let the past ruin your present or future, just simply look at it in an optimistic way of the universe seeing just how strong and strong minded you are to over come obstacles that have happened to you Hope everything works out the best If you would ever like some advice or anything because I went thru it as we'll I'm always available to help out :) Happy fun and stay safe :)

Thanks so much for all the responses! I figured it was probably best to have your own on hand, but being a newbie to all this, I wanted to see what others take on this was. Would you want to still use your own even if they brought some, just to be on the safe side...or would that be coming off as rude?

Much of this industry revolves around the revelation of things that are generally considered private, from the revealing photos and self-descriptions posted my many (if not most) providers, to the very detailed reviews and recommendations posted by their clients, to the questions and answers about what may or may not take place during an encounter. This doesn't strike me as being any worse than a lot of other stuff that's just accepted as part of the way the business operates. But then, I'm a guy and nobody's paying much attention to my body on a daily basis, so I may simply not understand... Fair enough. And when it works well and the client is none the wiser... no harm, no foul. But there's a chance that things might not go so smoothly, and in this case having been up-front about it would probably have been the better option. It's up to each individual lady to decide for herself what the chances are of things slipping, and what the consequences might be, and therefore whether or not to disclose things in advance. Perhaps guys who feel very strongly about this should mention it when booking so that they can delay until next week if need be, but that opens the door to a whole other pile of awkward... Three things on this. The first is to simply note that there are some folks out there who don't deal with blood at all well, irrespective of its origin. Second, there's the health angle. No encounter is risk-free from this point of view, and we all make our own decisions about what level of risk we are or are not prepared to accept... but I don't think most of us consider blood-exposure when doing so. Saliva, sweat, semen, vaginal mucus? Yes, all the time. But urine and feces and blood are not things that most of us would expect to encounter unless something had been explicitly arranged. And of those, blood is by far the most efficient at transferring pathogens. It opens up a whole load of new things to worry about, including many things that aren't usually considered STIs. It doesn't strike me as unreasonable to be unhappy if a health-risk that you hadn't expected is suddenly thrown at you, no matter what sex you are or which side of the client-provider relationship you're on. Finally, to quote the OP: "I felt something touch my lip I moved back to find a bloody spunge slipping out of the ladies vagina." I've never had anything remotely like that happen to me, and I can't honestly say I'd react gracefully if it did. Reactions to this sort of thing are likely to be immediate, visceral, and not the result of some well-thought-out reasoning. It's not clear to me that calling the OP immature is either reasonable or helpful.

I read this thread very late last night and I wanted to reply with a clear mind...I guess you have a right to be disgusted...everybody reacts differently to that situation... There is something though that bothers me and really ticked me off here is that you took the donation and left 40$! Thats what bothers me the most...I'm sure there will be lots of different opinions on this issue but if you decide to leave because you are disgusted with the situation, the donation should stay there...yes maybe she should have been upfront about it but, for me, its not a reason to take the donation and barely leave Pocket change... Personally i do work with sponges ( for what I have left of period lol) and there is no way you could ever tell coz they are really deep in there. But yes I started my period many times during sessions...that i could not predict... Just my opinion... BJ

I do not chat and text all day with people I have not met nor do I do this with clients I have met. Please respect my time and understand that I only use my phone to book appts. If you want to talk, please come and visit me in person. Thank-you.

Recently I had someone txt me... "how much do you Cost?" My reply was.. " I am not for sale, but the rate for my services are....." Normally I would not even waste my time answering to people like that but i just had to set things straight...

1. Guy answers my ad where I've included my website address... "Can I get your site address, email, donations and some pics?" 2. Clients who request early morning appointments, so I rush to get ready (NOT an early AM person), and then they are 20-30mins late. 3. Rough digits. No, you don't need to play ring your finger around my cervix! 4. Bad breath. Yuck! 5. Clients who push boundaries or cannot respect MY time. 6. Being asked if they can ejaculate in my ear. Yes, I was actually asked this. 7. Married men who come and trash talk their wives. Won't see them again. Those are the biggest turns offs for me (I'm sure I'll think of more lol)

saw her last night was greeted with a big hug and kiss after a little hugging and kissing she gave me a great massage after she had me flip over the experience turned into a great gfe with kissing ,some breast(great tits) , some oral (man she is great at it) then eventually finishing in missionary with kissing afterword's just like a true girl friend we cuddled ( and she is very cuddly her body fit just nicely against mine )till it was time for me to go. I will repeat and highly recommend her

I just watched A Night at the Roxbury.....AGAIN so this song is stuck in me head "What is love" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xhrBDcQq2DM and this clip "I broke the window again"