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I rock a small bush :)

Once in a while you come to realize that so many of our members really don't "get" the whole hobby experience, or rather, they understand that there are rules but believe they are somehow exempt. So let's help them. Let's give some handy tips to make this a more wonderful experience for all. This is a pleasant place so let's keep it constructive... and be aware that the rules shouldn't just be for clients, you can also add some helpful tips that may help a new provider too! Here goes: 1. Appointment time is at 2:00 pm, what time do I arrive? Ummmmm. Hmmmmm. What part of 2:00 pm is ambiguous? A 2 o'clock appointment means you are at her door at 2. Not 1:55, not 2:10. It's seems petty but when you screw up her schedule, you may be screwing up MY schedule. I may be the appointment at 3. I have things to do... and my schedule may not be as loosey goosey as yours. I may be using a very small window of time or I may have "commitments" that see me arriving like clockwork elsewhere. Regardless, when the little hand is at 2 and the big hand is at 12, be where you are supposed to be. 2. "I am awesomely wicked good in bed, and I often masturbate to pictures of myself nude, because I am that good looking. Can we negotiate a better rate?" In a word, No. Would you go to a restaurant and say, "I am a really good eater, can I get a better price on that steak?" Would you go to a lawyer and say, "I am an awesome criminal, can you represent me for free?" Would you go to the dentist and say, "My teeth are so bad that you should fix them all for $50!" A service provider gets paid at a set rate because she is a professional. She is good... no, not just good... wickedly awesome good, at what she does. Your part is the compensation, her part is the wicked awesome part. Pay the pretty lady and be happy. 3. Cleanliness is next to godliness. Ever step into an elevator and stand next to someone who smells like they have never met a bar of soap they liked? Ever met someone that looked like they were an extra in the Walking Dead? Have you ever gone into a bathroom after someone and wondered if they ate something dead? Step one. Go to the potty. Do your business. Wipe. Wipe again. Wipe again. and then, wipe again. Do the optical test. Last wipe. Is there any residue? If yes, start over. If no, then proceed to step two. Step Two. Shower. Clean EVERYWHERE. Rinse. Repeat. Did you pay attention to anywhere in particular??? Hmmm??? Go back to those places. Make em sparkle. (at this point I do suggest that artificial glitter is NOT necessary.) Get out of the shower. Towel dry (for pete's sake use a clean towel!)... apply a generous amount of deodorant/anti-perspirant. Brush your teeth. (if additional grooming is required, please do that too.) Step three. Clothing. Go to the place where you keep your clean clothes. No. Not the place where you put the stuff that you THINK you can wear again. The CLEAN clothes. You know that stuff that you just took from the dryer and folded nicely?? That's the stuff. Wear that shit. Uh oh... what if I have to do step one again?? Then repeat ALL the steps. Cuz skidmarks are not sexy. Febreeze showers are not acceptable. 4. I have to cancel, what do I do? Give your head a smack. With a hammer. Stop. Now take a pointy thing and stick it with great force into your upper thigh, avoiding the artery. Now, go to your car. Start it. Open the door, put your foot beneath a tire and have someone put that car in reverse. Cancellations? NOT COOL. We all know that shit happens. A death in the family. A sick kid. Decapitation with farm machinery. Thermonuclear war. Explosion of your planet from a death star ray. That shit is acceptable.... but you still owe the pretty lady an explanation AND a cancellation fee. When you cancel, providers don't eat. When providers don't eat they get distended bellies and look like kids from the CARE commercials. When you cancel, providers give not only you, but also your city, a bad reputation. This makes you masturbate more. Because you will never get laid again. Ever. You will over develop muscles in only one arm. Your clothes will fit poorly. People will figure it out and suspect you are the notorious masturbating king of cancellations. They will hunt you down and kill your family. Let's keep little Bobby and Joanie safe. If you make an appointment, keep that appointment. Your family will love you for it. 5. "I'm a little short on cash. Do you think she will notice if the envelope is a bit short?" In a word, yes. She will also point out that your penis is a bit short.... and that your skill level is a bit short... and that you cry like a bitch when you have your pathetic little man-gasm. Do you want that??? Do YOU WANT THAT, bitch??? Wow. That was a bit over-emphatic. Gonna step away from the computer and take a valium. BACK!!!! Where were we... yes. Shorting your provider. Not COOL. Remember, providers have special powers. They communicate telepathically. As soon as you walk out that door, she will know and so will all of her allies in the super friends. They will combine their superpowers and make sure that you never get wood again.... and if you do, it will be at inappropriate times... like at funerals or family gatherings or when talking to your grandfather or something like that. Seriously?? Give your head a shake. If you are short then GET the money and make sure you have it set aside BEFORE you book. You will have a wickedly awesome good time... just pay the pretty lady what you agreed to and enjoy! 6. Can I pay her in drugs? Hmmmm. Does your banker take drugs in lieu of money? Have you offered Rogers drugs in return for their cable/home phone/cell phone/internet bundle? When you get groceries at Loblaws, do they have a special drawer that says "financial equivalent in drugs?" You know the answer. "No, you addled-pated simpleton." Remember the distended belly part from above? Providers take cash because cash buys groceries, pays bills and looks pretty. Carrying cash will not get you arrested. Using cash is the engine that runs our capitalist society. "All you need is cash, cash is all you need." The Beatles sang that, I think. Your turn....

Yes Meg and others bring back the Bush

Thank all that's holy! I am sick of shaving....starting now, it's all natural Meg in the future!

Hello Good Morning Lovely Gentlemen, hope your all having an exceptional day! SEPT 4 - SEPT 10 TODAY...WEDNESDAY 9-3 (A) THURSDAY 2-11 (A) FRIDAY 2-11(P) SUNDAY 10-9(P) CONSIDERATIONS 130....30 Mins 160....45 Mins 180....1 Hour 220....75 Mins 240....90 Mins Duos Are Available for Half or full Sessions..Please Inquire Each session will include a shower for 2, a very passionate and erotic body slide, with or with out oil OR Nuru, and a full body massage. Im told I am very passionate..all 5'0 of me..I am French Canadian..with my long Natural Brown Hair and Brown eyes..They say the best things come in small packages..My shape and porportions are near perfecion Always fresh faced and manicured..I have all natural body.. 32D with Hips and thighs to match..Genuinely soft in nature and love to laugh..Should we keep each other company I will entertain you with the right variety of soft touch and playfulness in an intimate atmosphere. Have no Intention on Giving Extra Tips - Nothing extra Will Be Rendered xo You can CALL the spa 613-274-7073 to BOOK OR You can TEXT ME 289-802-8179 for Inquiries Have A Nice Day with me xo ANGELS TOUCH 613-274-7073 65 Bently Ave. Nepean South Unit 200 PARADISE 613-820-8887 1902 Robertson Rd

I want to thank Costambar and Gregsand for their pm's and info. The original post was back in June and as sometimes happens the ads do not stay online for a long time. I know Valerie uses the fun title in most of her ads and I suppose I should have included some more info than I did but I thought given the nature of the ad and the attached pics that someone might have recognized it. Thanks again for the input.

Hi there, thank you for checking my ad. You will not be disappointed with my A+++ massage... My name is Vivian. I'm 28 years old. Gorgeous, i am a classy looking Lady with long black hair, seductive cat eyes ...., beautiful silky soft, tanned skin. work out body with all the right curves in the right places. You have finally met your dream girl... .I great you at the door with a lovely smile then lead you to the massage room...I will start with a deep soothing tissue massage to relax all your muscles then follow with a soft touch to invigorate your whole body then the fun time ... It will be the most relaxing, creative and passionate session for you ever. So amazing that you cannot help yourself from thinking about it and want to come back for more ! http://www.lyla.com/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=92146 For relaxing massage $40/30m $50/45m $70/60m appointment only, call/text me at 6l3 7l2 l2OO mon to sat 10am to 7pm

Club Madellyn Jae Escape the Mundane A place where all your fantasies are your Reality! Exuding sensuality, sophistication with the guaranteed highest levels of discretion. No outdoor signage, no flashy open signs and lots of parking! CMJ is Ottawa's Best Kept Secret (and yours to discover)! Playful Beautiful Ladies, Clean Upscale Facilities & the Original Sensual Experiences you won't find anywhere else... Conveniently located close to the intersection of Merivale and Hunt Club Open 7 days a week 10am to 10pm For bookings or inquiries, call 613-523-6199 - text 613-917-7561 or 613-417-5834 You can also click here to fill out our online application for more! Contact to inquire about a free, no pressure, introductory session. Login to our website to view our Hostesses' profiles www.clubcmj.com Also, follow us on twitter! Discounted Sessions When Training! CMJ offers duos, trifectas, massage for couples & more! Club Madellyn Jae would like to announce the introduction of our discount on 2 of our 8 rooms. $100 for 30 mins, $150 for the hour. Call the club directly today and ask to book one of our bargain rooms. Offer valid only when booking through the club directly and not valid to be used in conjunction with other discounts or on party days Wednesday, September 6th Karrissa (10-4) Kelly (10-3) Chanel (10-4) Alura (11-7) Emily (11-7) Kendall (11-7) Faith (11-7) India (12-7) Olivia (4:30-10) Brooke (4:30-10) Quinn (4-10) Abby (4-10) Reviewed with the LYLA seal of Approval CMJ has the most reviewed ladies than anywhere else in Ottawa. Our ladies are trained by a certified massage therapist with more then 5 years experienced in the business! Come find out why we are Rated #1.

You should put this in the Reco section.

Paradise already has recos in the reco section.

CLASSY❤ :icon_wink: ❤Pour une expérience sensuel, douce, unique, et...S'il vous plaît, laissez moi un message. ❤For a experience sensual, sweet unique, and ... Please leave me a message, BiancaLove❤

Danielle is back ! Message for details and pics . Scheduling for outxalls currently, incalls next week! Enjoy your week everyone

To be honest I do not wear underwear of any kind, ever. Solo uncomfortable! For an encounter, I will if requested but don't reaĺy like to. Lol

I do too! Looks like the bush is back, baby! ;)

Glad you're free! But your post reminds me of a very old bit of wisdom, that I'm sure a lot of folks here will appreciate: paying for sex is cheaper than not paying for it :)

Stolen pics...and more. ;)

She is a very sweet girl, AWESOME massage. As Slurp said a little prettier and younger than usual. I will be going back.

younger, prettier, but less experienced. sweet and friendly. NO english. in comparison to the others I've seen at 0838, she is in the top 1/3rd, and yes I expect it will get better the second time. this is NOT a consistent place to go. the last girl was awful. i will (now) start posting comments on each one that I see that is new, and would get be happy to hear from others.

Me and many others from Indy Comnpanion who travel to Ottawa

I love a bush!

I have seen her. I will be 100% I have no idea what Tantra is... But take it as you wish. Her rates were great. Her service was great, I think, and I would see here again no problem

I am upfront on my website about what I offer and do not offer, and I remind my guests during our first session together. If at any point a gentleman is unclear about something, I find it very respectful when he asks me. I dislike the "I'll just go for it and see if she stops me" approach. Please, just ask. Communication is key to a wonderful experience together!

I enjoy kissing provided that the client has good mouth hygiene. I really dislike kissing someone after they have smoked and attempted to use gum before the meeting... Those clients, I really can't go through with the kissing. If they haven't asked when they booked an appointment about kissing I usually ask them when they arrive, "do you enjoy/like kissing?" usually they all say yes. I don't ask them if I know they're mouth hygiene is bad. I've told blank to someone after they wanted me to kiss them and I bluntly said, "Sorry, you have bad breath." This was near the end of the session. I like when clients tell me the details before a meeting of what they would like me to do or want. I've done this with role playing and it goes smoothly because I know what will be happening and there isn't this long discussion before we begin. I also enjoy the spontaneous times, not knowing about the client, I like the mystery. I've had experiences where they've booked and they just wanted the talk and kissing, so they directed me to kiss them after they said something or if I enjoyed what they talked about. I enjoy listening and talking.