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I'm not actually on board with this concept of "she lied to you so you need to question her integrity". Here's why... Being outed this industry can destroy families and reputations causing irreparable long term unrepairable damage. In the future it can cost them their children, future jobs, volunteer positions, friendships and family members. They may not be allowed to participate in school activities with their children or become foster parents, they may not be allowed to volunteer at women's shelters or be employed in the health care industry. They may be denied access to the US or denied for any number of activities. One has no idea how being outed will impact their future. I know because all of the above have happened to me personally. Choosing who to share this fact of our lives with is fraught with very real danger. If it's disclosed at the beginning of a dynamic, the chances of the relationship succeeding are slim anyway; adding this to the mix means the man has power over a provider if she isn't already out. He knows where she lives, what her government name is and probably who her friends/family are. He's seen her Facebook and social media, he now has access to all aspects of her life. All it takes is a single email to blow her life out of the water. It happens all the time with loved ones we've known for years and we've all witnessed the slut shaming women go thru when they break up with someone for valid reasons who aren't sex workers. Disclosing you're a sex worker is a huge leap of faith and to think any woman in her right mind would disclose this up front is absurd and I don't believe any provider should be expected to. A man needs to earn that trust, he needs to prove to her that he is safe and won't hurt her with the information the first time they hit a pot hole in the relationship. She needs to feel safe with him, see how he reacts when he's angry. Is he petty or revenge oriented when he's furious, does he act like a 2 year old or hold grudges? Does he throw things in her face and fight dirty? She owes him nothing when it comes to disclosure until she knows the relationship is first and foremost safe and is going somewhere. Why is it deemed a wrong to protect yourself? I argue it isn't, it's a strong, gut survival instinct that women need to listen to and know they aren't in the wrong because they are trying to take care of themselves. And once she's decided to share this aspect of herself with a man, he should have the wisdom to realize her motivations and accept that it wasn't him, it was necessary for her protection. Then he should thank his lucky stars he has a found himself an honest to goodness firecracker that has a backbone and the ambition to want more out of life and is willing to make the hard decisions and sacrifices to get it. And the cherry on top is... she wants him. smiles, cat

The initial lie is a problem given the need for trust in a relationship but understandable given the stigma and potential harm that could come if the relationship ends. Providers are most at risk from people close to them; physically, mentally and socially. We are outed by "less than loved ones" 95% of the time so I'm inclined to believe lying about our work is a much needed survival instinct. It's a job, all be it a more challenging occupation for relationships. My gentle suggestion is if the work bothers you in any way, walk away now. It's never going to sit right and will taint the relationship in ways you don't realize yet. Men who can participate in relationships with sex workers either need to be completely neutral or completely supportive internally for the relationship to have a chance. There is no room for a negative gut reaction and you need to be honest with yourself about how you are feeling. This is indeed work, it can be incredibly empowering and gratifying in so many ways. There is aspect of service that most people don't consciously relate to but it's the foundation of this industry. We help people smile and feel better about the world, every time we provide service. It offers us the opportunity for independence and control in our lives which breeds confidence and strength. It gives us the permission, experience and time to grow as people; faster than any other occupation imo as long as she has genuine support from her partner and loved ones or at least a neutral home environment. If she doesn't, it creates an inner conflict that will influence her very soul in devastating ways. I went thru the same thing with my husband when I decided to go back to work. The deception was where the damage came initially but we worked thru that aspect quickly. The next several years were difficult because I could work as long as I didn't enjoy it. I was forced to continue living a lie at home because I couldn't take pride in the work I was doing, I couldn't have a great day or an experience that fed my soul without it turning into a problem. I can count on one hand the number of truly positive relationships I've seen in the industry. As I've said before, it's like finding a diamond in the Gatineau river. I can't even count the number of relationships where the partner uses the work as leverage to guilt and manipulate the provider into paying all the bills, support unhealthy habits, buy him toys and spoil him, all to keep him happy because he has to share his pussy. It's a finely honed form of extortion because if she were a lawyer or an engineer at the same pay grade, he wouldn't feel entitled to such things. The provider ends up wasting the money she should be investing for her future because she wants someone to love her when in fact she's been turned into the most lucrative client and he has become the most insidious prostitute. The man who seemingly supports but contributes nothing is playing the "I love you" con at its worst; it's the traditional pimps most successful business model... smiles, cat

A repost but what the hell?? :)

They've finally gotten rid of that monstrosity in the front and opened it back up for parking. YAY!

I would not be worrying right now wondering if this is cheating. That is just the ego part of your brain speaking now because you are hurt. You feel this is cheating on her part because you feel betrayed since she lied to you. She lied to you about something that is a big part of her life which is her job and what she does for a living. You need to confront her about this and decide for yourself if this is the road you wish to go down. You may not be able to trust her again. Ask yourself do you have a problem with her seeing men in what she does for a living? If so, end the relationship immediately. As someone who has been in relationships with men while doing this line of work, there needs to be full disclosure from the beginning which includes trust, honesty and communication. Right now the issue at hand is she lied to you and it happened to be about a job that already has a large stigma attached to it. If you don't feel you can trust her as this is a huge red flag, walk away because there will be resentment and I can tell you this type of work can be very difficult and if she feels she is going to be put down for it, the relationship will never work and you will both come to resent each other.

I've posted this before. I've dated a couple SPs and a Dancer, even lived with an SP for a while. I don't look at it as cheating, it's their business. It's not for everyone nor is it the easiest to accept. Not everyone will agree with what I'm saying here so I'm not expecting that. Don't overthink it or talk about it. If she has something she wishes to discuss with you in regards to her work simply let her initiate the conversation. Don't ask what you don't really want to hear the answer to. Obviously, if it's too much for you to handle you need to do what is best for you. Never use what she does against her, you can't do that. The ultimate choice is yours. Best of luck no matter the choice you make.

I disagree with you Gregsand. The only thing you mentioned that doesn't last is youth. IMO, youth is wasted on the young. Beauty and wealth can last a lifetime, depending on what one deems to be beauty. I have seen many older women, even some of my parent's female friends, who I think are beautiful and would make me feel lucky if they were my SO at that age. Health is not always in our control but some leave this world when over 100 years old and lived a fully healthy life. Death comes to us all. Unjustified? Who are we to judge what is unjustified for a Provider to not accept certain clients? We don't truly know SPs, some may think they do but what we really know is what they let us know. What may be judged as unjustified by some is obviously justifiable enough for a Provider to decide they do not wish to see certain potential clients. Why is this so difficult for some to comprehend? It's their business. They have every right to decide who they choose to have as clients. We need to respect that, at least I do.

Like the title says words won't do the experience justice so I will keep it short. I had been considering booking time for quite a while and things finally lined up. It was a short visit but I found her to be very welcoming, friendly and once things got going very enthusiastic. I will be repeating for sure and plan on a longer visit next time. And by the way I was compelled to want to visit both with great reviews and smoking hot photos but I damn near fell to the floor when I actually met her and got to see her body. Layer on the personality and amazing attitude and she is almost supernatural.

The big question should be to yourself; how do you feel being in a relationship with a sex worker? Since you posted this thread here I would assume you know a bit about the industry so you should know the answer to that question. If you truly don't have an issue with her line of work then good for you, talk with her, and re-assure her that you understood why she didn't tell you at first but that her possible fears were unfounded. However, if you do have an issue with being in a relationship with a sex worker that is a different story. Judging from how you phrased the question (cheating) I suspect you do have an issue. If that is the case then do yourself and her a favour and cut your losses and walk away from the relationship. At a minimum you are going to continually be suspicious and jealous and if you try to change her or challenge her she is going to be resentful. It will do nothing but cause you grief. You will become paranoid and she will be forced to lie to you more. I can't see a happy outcome.

This thread I am posting now is a few years old. Despite that, I find it still contains a lot of valuable information that will be beneficial and helpful to you, the OP. I'd like to stress that I am not promoting anyone except to provide you with some insights and ideas which you might want to pursue. http://www.lyla.com/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=89049&highlight=Lost+virginity Whatever you choose to do, I wish you the best of luck!

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cat and rocky racoon said it best. "We all hide things about ourselves at first." I highly doubt any one of us is exempted from this. Even depending on the length of the relationship at this point does not necessarily determine if she was lying or even deceived you since all relationships move at a different pace. If she is the one who informed you then I feel she must truly care for you and is willing to face you judging her no matter the outcome. Keep this in mind when making a decision. If such is the case you need to not only be honest with her but just as importantly with yourself. IMO, this is the most crucial part of this situation. Perhaps she is willing to take this relationship to the next level. We don't know, only you do. There are too many 'what ifs' involved here with not one of us who are posting knowing full details, nor is all of it our business. For this, we can only assume and/or presume. On the question...is it cheating? "My" final answer remains, NO. As I have read here before, "We are all human, no matter our profession. We all have the desire to love and be loved."

I think cheating has nothing to do with the fact that she is a MA (or any kind of sex worker for that matter). So your question:"My GF is a MA, is it cheating?" is misleading. She's not cheating BECAUSE she's a MA. I believe some MA have perfectly healthy relationship and it doesn't necessarily means they're cheating, even when they're providing extras to their clients. The fact that she hid it from you, though, might be the problematic part. To me, cheating is simply lying to the other. Some couples are perfectly happy to be in an open relationship. This doesn't even have to be symmetrical. In some couples, one of the persons is sleeping with other partner(s), while the other is not. For this to work, everybody involved need to be consenting to the specific terms of their relationship. And, to be truly consenting, one needs to know every aspect of that relationship. Now, Cat makes some very good point about the lies in the initial relationship. I think we all do it when we start going out with someone, consciously and unconsciously. We want to look good so we present the best side of ourselves. We dress up, we hide the dirty clothes under the bed, we don't swear, or burp, etc... Basically, we keep secret a lot of the things we feel might be detrimental to what is originally a fragile relationship. It's not dishonesty, just a desire to convince the other that we can be worthy. It's fine, as long as the true personality come out eventually. If one of the person is a sex worker, she/he has a much bigger secret, and she/he will likely hide it at first. The personal and social risks involved with telling the truth are much bigger when your secret is that you're a sex worker, then if it's that you don't floss everyday. The thing is, once the relationship gets past the initial phase and trust is being built, at one point or the other, this secret should be shared. You don't say how long you've been going out with her, but since you say you live together, I'll assume you're past that initial phase of your relationship and, since you "just found out", I'm tempted to say she cheated on you by actively lying to you. Now, does that mean you should dump her? Not necessarily. It's not because someone cheated that the relationship is irreparably broken. I think you should definitely talk with her about it, not so you can intrude in her professional life, but to make sure you're on the same page on how each other feels about the situation. Communication is key here. Then, figure out whether or not you feel comfortable living with someone who's a sex worker. Only you can decide that.

Is it cheating? This will all depends on how you feel about it. It is her job after all and if she comes home and does not seem happy then it's not for her. You have to support her in her decision if you love her but first you have to accept that it's her JOB. So she lied about it, she said she was a barmaid/waitress, did you accept that she was doing that as a job? If it's too hard for you to accept it then best to leave her alone and let her do what she wants to do.

I don't know; this is kind of alluring...

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So what...? Ultimately, if a SP/MA doesn't wish to meet with people from a certain group and you fit the description (Like I do as a Black man), it doesn't matter if it's right or wrong, just walk away. It did happen to me a few time, here on this site... I don't care! My second question to a SP/MP when contact her is and will always be something like: "I'm Black, do you care?" If she says "YES", I go with a "Ok, No worries... have a great day/life!!!" End of the conversation. There are so many beautiful ladies on LYLA, these days, why bother with one who doesn't wish to meet me? I don't get it.... This is not a government service where agents (likely here the SP/MA) are obligate to serve me. If the provider is not comfrotable with me simply because of the color of my skin, ya it's better that we don't meet - Where's my fun in it? And since I am the type of guy who has more fun when I feel that she also enjoys our time, there is a whole part that will be missing by seing her. So I prefer to simply contact someone else. We are in 2017... although a lot had been made, there are still a lot of work to do, in terms of equality toward race (like other things - gender, sexual orientation, handicap, etc...). Racisme will not desepear tomorrow. Unfortunately, we will die before and never see total equality in this world. Cheers The Black Bass

It can't be easy doing what providers do. It has it's benefits sure but I know I would not want to be judged like they are. Providers are judged on every level: Their ad, physical appearance, services offered, donations, response time, website, personality, quality of services, location, cleanliness of the location and other aspects. Personally, I couldn't imagine and I respect them for it. WIR

If you can see it, it will blow you away !

I can't list just one, I apologize. Their best album as far as overall quality of all the songs in an album: "The Dark Side of the Moon" Their best album as far as the one containing a few of their best songs: "The Wall" Who can ever forget classic songs like: -Hey You -Is There Anybody Out There? -Comfortably Numb -Another Brick in the Wall

Which one was your favorite Pink Floyd album?

Like literally two hours ago, and it was great! As of this morning, I was a 26 year old virgin. I never felt ashamed or unaccomplished being a virgin, I had reached this point as a choice. But I was not confident with intimacy, most if not all girls I've met have been pretty sexual or have a sexual past which always intimidated me (I never saw them lower, but felt a bit in awe). I avoided relationships because I was worried about the physical intimacy part, I was going to fall flat on my face. And I created this mind block. I noticed a few threads on this forum about guys who are virgins looking for an SP, but there was no mention if they went through with it, and if they did, how they felt about it. So I thought I'd share for anyone who are in the same shoes I once was. In a nutshell, I loved the experience, and I have no regrets. I got in touch with Peachy a week ago, and explained that I was a virgin, and that was something I wanted to change. She was incredibly thoughtful, and put me at ease with asking her to take me to the other side so to speak. I was nervous, actually, I was anxious for her to come. I booked 3 hours, and I asked her to stay an hour longer once she was here (I was having a great time and didn't want to rush it). So my reasons for doing what I did. 1) I'm more confident with safety when it comes to the women here then the general public. If anyone knows about safety, these ladies do. This was my number one priority always (even before I came up with this idea) 2) I wanted a positive non-judgemental environment (at least in my mind). I didn't want to think and over think everything I did, and with her, I was more then comfortable. I was able to explore, try out stuff that I wouldn't have done with maybe a girl I was dating. 3) I was confident in asking her how I could be better. And I took everything she said constructively, and it was a lot better then I imagined! 4) Confidence! I met this girl a couple of months ago that seemed to be very interested. Back then, the old me kept things between us friendly but non-sexual. I think given the situation now, I'd act much differently. My confidence in this department took a massive beating the last couple of years for reasons too long and boring to share here. I feel as if one evening took all of that self doubt away. Downsides? I don't feel as if there were any. I don't feel any regret, or remorse or anything of that sort. I was hoping when I asked Peachy was that she be someone awesome (I've read some stories here about people having soso dates). Peachy was AMAZING in that she was so understanding about my fears, and newness. I bring this up because I found her through going through pages and pages of reviews. There are some awesome women here, but I found one with very complimentary reviews, and it worked for me. Which I guess leads on to my next part. Would I recommend a virgin meet an SP? To each their own. I wrote down a list of reasons why this would be a good idea vs a list of why this was bad. My bad side of the list had some religious objections, but then the good side had religious support for getting help any way possible (my confidence was shot). There are some that say that this experience should be with someone special. And I think that applies for some people for sure, but I treated this as a learning/therapeutic visit more then anything else. The rate I was going, I was not going to be able to meet that someone special ever. Recommendations: 1) Take your time, read reviews, talk to who you are interested in 2) Take your time, don't book just 1 hour. For the first two hours, we took it slow, talked a lot, and made it more intimate. 3) Figure out your reasons. I was brand new at this, and I think if this is your first time, trying to go into this to fulfil a fantasy might be putting too much pressure on you and her. Just explore the sensation, explore your body (I discovered things about my body I was pleasantly surprised about). 4) Tell her you're a virgin! And that's when you first get in touch with her, not when you meet. I can't think of anything else. This being a recommendation board, this is mine :)

I believe you were chatting with Katrina. She is a sweety.