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Here is a sample of some autocorrect fails At work I once sent out a email to co-workers. It was suppose to say sorry for the inconvenience. Instead I got Sorry for your incontinence. lol A few times. I said I gave some woman Jello legs. Instead it came out Hello Legs. Some of the girls were trying to figure out what Hello legs are? What are some of your Autocorrect funnies ?:)

Gents who read my website and know everything about me and my service when they contact me, and when they do reach out, they mention all the details I need to know to book them ( date, time, location, outfit requests, atmosphere requests etc)... Right off the bat I give them a little extra time as a reward for making my life easier... Coming in showered and groomed with a great attitude also scores points... A small token of appreciation always makes you stand out ( roses, chocolates, gift cards for stuff I actually need, samosas and mango lassies (you know who you are xo) origami money flowers ( you know who you are too xo ))I've honestly never forgot anyone who took the time to do this, it really touches me and shows me you care about my well being... even if years have gone by since our paths have crossed... definitely a great way to make a lasting first impression... I love when I'm riding a gent or giving him oral and he moans and/or whispers something under his breath... "Oh fuck" Yesss" "Holy Shit that's amazing..." "Don't stop" "You're so fucking hot" "Omg where'd you learn that" "You're so good" It gets me off to know I'm pleasuring him and he loves what I'm doing.... enthusiasm begets enthusiasm... What can I say I love what I do...

I think everyone(lobbyists and providers) prefer the company of a clean companion with a pleasant or neutral scent. While this seems like a simple request, the reality is not. Not everyone smells the same, not every deodorants and perfumes are effective or pleasant to the smell and not everyone has the same definition of what's pleasant or nauseously bad. Like many already mentioned here, the best solution is to start the session with a shower together for both side to enjoy a natural smell. The next best thing is a mild deodorant after the shower before the meeting. But the absolute worst(other than not taking a shower at all) is to use strong perfumes. Not only the smell are more than often nauseously irritating, but makes you question if used to mask something worst. Some of the worst I met smelled like a cheap motel or rental car air freshener(not kidding) and immediately induced strong headaches. And the only solution to it, is shower or bye bye. Both sides need to show a level of flexibility. The unwillingness to correct the problem or to simply take a shower will result in a situation where both sides will lose. We're all adults. And if that old bottle of "Hai Karate" or "Lise Watier" perfume doesn't work for you, just throw it out and find something else. That's all I had to say. Have a nice holiday to all.

I have mostly been hanging out at the Brass Club lately, because of its discrete downtown location, the comfortable vibe and facilities, warm welcome and friendly service, nice cafe-bar with great sandwiches, and of course the extraordinary ladies, starting with the manager/owner Jessica, to the reception/bar persons (Angel, Bonnie, Sasha &?) and finally the amazing cast of over 50 beautiful and smart MAs. So my very subjective favourites in the best bums MA category is limited to BC, knowing full well that their are many extraordinary MA's with amazing bums and many other attributes working at other reputable salons and clubs such as CMJ, Angels/Paradise and Vibe among others; as well as highly reviewed indies such as Breathtaking Viviane, Exclusively Mia, Jackie Gilcrest, and others too numerous to list. Brass Club: I have experienced massages with just a handful of the numerous beautiful MA's who work at Brass, but I also witnessed or talked to several others at the bar recently and reviewed the excellent photos from the BC website of each of each MA from its current roster. I would hazard to guess that all MAs at Brass have nice bums, but in many cases I have either not seen the woman in person or I have not been able to assess this feature because photos on the BC do not always include a rear view. Finally, my personal selection tends towards the more petite version of the derrière species, which are all firm, round and small enough to fit into the palm of my hand. I mean no disrespect to the other MAs who I have not mentioned and a nice bum is far from my first criteria in choosing a MA. All of the BC's MAs mentioned below have cheeks that also consistently defy Newton's laws of gravity! I am sure, if Newton were to come back to life today and be given the opportunity to meet any one of these extraordinary women at BC, he would not be displeased at all that they have proven his law wrong. As we all know, beauty trumps science all the time under the well known BBB law (Beauty Baffles Brains!) Best bums experienced more than 6 months ago at BC: *Essence Best bums experienced in last month at BC: *Alexa, Jamie, Veronica & Zara (All new MAs) Best bums observed at the waiting and bar areas at BC: *Barbie, Francesca, Hailey, Mila & Naomie Best bums assessed only from photos on BC website: *Cindy, Diamond, Faye, Lacey & Paris

I first met Nikki in March of this year. I've visited her at least a dozen times since with some one hour visits and a few multi hour visits, they've all been great. She's a naturally gifted GFE Companion and a pleasure to be around for hours on end. If you're looking to feel rejuvenated by a beautiful and lovely young woman, she is one that has never failed me. I don't need to mention how to treat her. If or when you meet her you will feel a trance like effect of appreciation and will not be able but to feel lucky to be in her presence. Good nature will simply flow through you uncontrollably and you may feel like you want to pinch yourself but don't bother, you won't be dreaming. For any and all further info please feel free to PM.

Step out of the seasonal hussel and bussle and into your private get-a-way ;) Warm those chilly bones, unwind and allow my loving touch melt away your stress! ***WINTER TIME HOT SPA*** Hot stones Jacuzzi for 2 See my site for details and enjoy my video! ladysophiaclassic.com 506 261 7313

I thought it would be a great time to start a positive thread and share our likes and what turns us on when meeting I'll start.... When you come straight out of the shower and groomed! Good hygiene is a big turn on for me Your turn.

Beware of this one. Saw her last visit. Pictures are probably hers with some good photoshopping. Service leaves plenty to be desired. Will not repeat. Additional Comments: Sorry forgot the link. http://thunderbay.backpage.ca/FemaleEscorts/visiting-thunder-bay-december-28th-to-january-4th-in-call-only/98461237

I have been seeing the same girl for the last 5 months about twice a month and by now we both know what each other likes and dislikes. Knowing that what I do to her pleases is pleasant to her she returns the favor. Every time we meet we seem to try new things with her consent and mine. The last time I saw her, I got a hold of the back of her head while she was going down on me and controlled the depth and speed(she was able to take it all BTW, so no problem with that), she liked the gagging effect because it brings out thicker saliva and let me tell you it feels awesome. I got complimented by the way I held her head because she says her scalp is very sensitive and I was careful with it(this got me more excited by knowing). Thank you for giving me the best service ever, you know who you are.

I almost sent a work email this morning where the phrase "my count" ended up as "mo cunt"...good thing I caught that one!!!

Hi there, thank you for checking my ad. You will not be disappointed with my A+++ massage... My name is Vivian. I'm 28 years old. Gorgeous, I am a classy looking Lady with long black hair, seductive cat eyes ...., beautiful silky soft, tanned skin. workout body with all the right curves in the right places. You have finally met your dream girl . I great you at the door with a lovely smile then lead you to the massage room...I will start with a deep soothing tissue massage to relax all your muscles then follow with a soft touch to invigorate your whole body then the fun time ... It will be the most relaxing, creative and passionate session for you ever. So amazing that you cannot help yourself from thinking about it and want to come back for more! http://www.lyla.com/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=92146 For relaxing massage $40/30m $50/45m $70/60m breathtakingvivian.com appointment only, call/text me at 6137121200 mon to sat 10am to 7pm.

lol those were hilarious! I was attempting to let my son know I had his 'purolator' package and it was auto corrected to 'purple toe' I finally figure out what had happened while driving and could barely see the road the the tears of laughter were so blinding.

Sounding like Demi Moore for the last month.

My apologies copied the wrong quote.Meant to quote Goindown about the oral in the shower. Good point! The exceptionally talented Cristycurves performed this activity on me a while back. The visuals and feeling left an indelible memory. As far as another turn on one would be having a beautiful woman wearing flattering lingerie greet me at the door. Nothing like getting a glimpse and tease of what lies beneath.

I think what he means is not only is she beautiful but also charming, friendly and a very nice person.

"For me, if I was trying to decide between two ads, I would definitely go with the one that let me immediately confirm the most information." Sigh... this is the problem right here ^^^ I don't spend 500$ on photo shoots and 1000's more on web design, banners, and graphic design, hosting, twitter and instagram apps and paid advertising, just to go out and buy newspapers to prove I'm established. A simple look at my website, quality of my content and my reviews with a simple google search will show that. Problem solved in LITERALLY three clicks... Not to mention all the time I spend writing ads, answering phone calls, texts and pm's and actually spending time with my treasured guests, I really don't have time to do that everyday, nor am I inclined. I've been a provider for over a decade and not to sound blunt, but I don't need to prove myself. My work and reviews speak for themselves. What kills me is there is a variety of established ladies, right here on Lyla. If you actually take them to research and find someone with a reputation, then you'll get your money's worth plain and simple. If we were bad providers, we wouldn't be around as long as we have. Consider the following two scenarios: Provider A: Add on backpage. Selfies, no website or reviews. Prices are low range 15 min rates and specials. Explicit with Acronyms. Phone number in ad with rates and contact number. Provider B: Add on backpage as well. Professional pictures, with few selfies for legitimacy thrown in. Links to website, has reviews, long and strong internet presence. Rates are higher range. Discreet ad with an intro, has a link to a website posted to for further info. Which do you choose? The smart hobbyist knows that even though it's "easier" to contact provider A as she requires no further research, probably doesn't screen, is ready asap and costs less, Provider B is the best bet. Why? Because Provider B takes her business= her lively hood seriously. She invested time and effort into her presentation, which naturally carries over to her clientele and her service. She has a reputation to protect, and the small sum she may make by ripping a gent off or rushing him isn't worth the backlash or cost to her bottom line. Happy clients =happy bank account. It's simple economics. Provider A can do virtually whatever she wants with literally no consequence. Some new selfies or pics stolen from IG (very popular new method) and 5$ text me app and she's back in business. There's virtually no consequence for bad behaviour. Sure, you may feel she costs less it's a better deal ;it's just too much work to actually read a 1 page website and she doesn't make you do that, however, if you are receiving poor service, a bad experience and/or bait and switch, was the 50-80$ you save and 15 mins of time to research really worth it? The reason there's no effort put in is SHE DOESN'T CARE ABOUT ANYTHING OTHER THAN THE $$$. Look how a provider promotes herself, stop and think "If her business is run with the least effort possible, how does that translate over to the effort she will place on me? " Therefore, is the time and $ you saved worth it? Not really because you just wasted whatever you did spend and now you feel less than great....and threads like this get started. "Imagine that a pawn shop buys a Rolex, complete with the original box and all the papers. I guarantee the pawn shop would put everything out together in the display case.They wouldn't display only the watch and say "The customer should be responsible to do their research to determine that this is authentic. It's not up to me to prove it, or do their research for them." Established providers already do this, that's why we spend so much $, time and effort on our websites, all the info is there, in one convenient place at your fingertips. We've done our due diligence in providing the info, it's your job to read it. If the pawnshop provides the Rolex papers/booklet for you read, then you actually have to read it. You wouldn't say, "Oh that's going to take too long. Please provide me a picture of the previous owner wearing it holding 5000$ to prove its real." You'd have to read the papers, authenticate them, double check the serial numbers with Rolex to confirm legitimacy and if it all checks out, then you'd purchase it. Otherwise, you'd know the pawn shop could print out any old papers, stick them with the watch, and some poor sucker would buy it. It's up to you to actually fact check and verify the info provided as the consumer. If you bought it without said research and you ended up buying a fake watch, then it's no one's fault but your own, as the adage goes, "buyer beware." All these problems can be SIMPLY avoided with a small investment of a bit of time into research, communication and a little extra $ to find someone who has a proven history of stellar experiences. Don't scrimp out or cut yourself short due lack of due diligence. You deserve better...

Welcome to the board. To add a little on Phaedrus answer, It's the kind of request you can ask indy(independent) providers after a few sessions if the chemistry is good. But better not if she works for an agency/procurer or in a massage parlour/ brothel. This is as much for your protection than hers. For many ladies, it's not a career choice but a temporary source of income. And the last thing they need are pictures that could potentially derail future endeavors. The same goes for you. Good memories remain forever and are far more private. Hope you'll find great ladies and experiences.

She is real, pics are very close, lips and breast are 100%. pm if you want more. http://thunderbay.backpage.ca/FemaleEscorts/special-two-hours-outcall-alysson-petite-_juicy-ass-_down-to-earth-youll-never-forget/99873572

I have never been diappointed by any of the HP ladies. My only disappointment was when Celeste Diamond retired. They have some great new ladies with Alayna Rose and Ms.Dominique. Nikki certainly knows how to pick them.

Some may allow it, and may or may not charge extra for the service... but I suspect most would refuse. You can always ask, but don't try to argue or haggle if the answer is no.

I've been a naughty girl this year, but luckily there's no coal in my stockings :p I've missed you, Moncton folks, and so I shall be back just in time to treat yourself for the holidays :p I couldn't leave you without one last try at joining me on the naughty list! I invite you to join me at my downtown suite for an unforgettable tryst, or limited outcalls to verifiable Moncton area hotels are also available. Safety, hygiene, & discretion are assured/expected Request And Fetish Friendly! Twitter @MsMandaHfx Instagram @msmanda.hfx Pm, email or visit http://www.MsManda.com for more info! xx

Just a little advice 'Ontherideau' because you are new and your type of general query comes up often with new members. First of all, before making your query, you should have gathered and provided more information about the provider, to make it easier for another member to assist you. Providing the name of the site where the ad was placed along, the title of the ad and the providers name is often insufficient information for another member be able to assist you. Ideally, you could copy the ad and attach it to your query. But often ads disappear along with their links so you should also include as detailed a description of the provider from the ad as you can, as well as the last four digits of her phone number. So even if the link to the ad ceases to exist, someone trying to help you will have something to go on to do so. You really can't expect another member to go fishing on Craigslist for you, to try to determine which specific ad and Jessica you are referring to. Ad titles change, many providers use the same names or change their names frequently, so I hope you can see my point. A lot of contributing members to the board have stopped responding to these type of queries. They expect ,with reason, that the individual will have done their own research and homework first, before making their plea for information on the board. You would therefore be expected to check pictures from the ad using Google image or Tineye, as well as using the phone number to conduct a search on Google for other ads and contradictory information, or links to well known porn stars for instance. If this search points you towards misrepresentation or fraud you know what to do. If the images and phone number point to a potentially legitimate provider, you should then search on Lyla to see if the provider is a member or if a recommendation exists for the same person. If there is no information on Lyla, it may very well be that members will be unlikely to help you, but I guess you could make a query to confirm that. Lastly, because of the extremely high percentage of fake ads, fraudulent pictures and descriptions and Bait & Switch cons, on both Craigslist and Backpage, you should really consider going solely for providers who already have a web presence, have a website, are members of Lyla or have been recommended on Lyla. Few Lyla service providers would advertise on Craigslist, but a few reputable ones do continue to advertize on BP because a lot of potential clients continue to use BP as their primary source of information, and these clients are probably not Lyla members. Some clients may think they will get a better deal on Craigslist or BP, but that is rarely the case and low cost providers often provide poor service. While not an absolute truth, it is almost always true, as they say, that: ''You get what you pay for!''. Many tears and much ink is spilled on the subject of negative experiences on those sites, not mentioning the hundreds and hundreds of dollars flushed down the drain due to Bait & Switch situations or other types of fraud. Buyer Beware! If you really want to have a good time with a lovely women, I suggests you stick with the wonderful and reputable women of Lyla, who have all have track records of satisfied clients and who assist clients by posting much usefulinformation about themselves on their Lyla profile and posts and often on personal websites, Twitter and other such sites. Lyla also has recommendation type reviews you can look at to guide your selection of your SP or MP. Or you can contact the provider directly through the site if you have any questions her ads, profile and websites do not answer. But read those sources carefully first to learn about the provider and her services, so as not to annoy the provider from your first communication. Providers must do a million things to keep their businesses running smoothly, and they don't like having their time wasted, just like you! And the more energy they spend fielding unnecessary queries, the less time they have to prepare for and offer their unique and very special services. Hope this helps!

On the contrary, I love a lady putting her fingers through my hair and applying some pressure towards her when I am pleasing her. This is so gratifying! :)

It might make things easier if most clients actually read anything worded in a backpage ad. ;) Rather than chasing down a local newspaper, most of us thought a website would fix that pesky "Is she real?" wonderment. All teasing aside, some kind of verification would certainly help but the issue is that girls who don't have a website usually aren't inclined to do so... smiles, cat

When people keep their hands out of my hair, I really like them and keeps me focused on other things during it time together.. Lol. I get it professionally done 3 times a week so I can look my best.

That rush right before you open the door. The excitement and nervousness all in one. I always speak to them on the phone and already have gained an idea and go with my instincts whether to book with them or not but still when I open the door..in that one fleeting moment feels like a wave.

Let me curl up in your lap for a cozy afternoon at 340 Queen Street, next Saturday, December 9, from 2pm to 7pm. With my long auburn hair hiding us from the rest of the world, we can share a sensual escape of eskimo kisses and soft caresses. XO

I know that a lot of ladies don't do it, and I don't do it often, but when you are going down on him in a shower for two. I really like the water falling all over my face while doing it. I think it is a good visual for him and certainly fun for me to perform. Again, doesn't happen much with the makeup, hair done etc. But it is a nice treat when it does.

Escape the winter at 340 Queen Street tomorrow afternoon, November 11, from 2pm to 7pm. With my long auburn hair hiding us from the rest of the world, we can share a sensual escape of eskimo kisses and soft caresses. XO

If you're new to the hobby, my strong suggestion would be to avoid Backpage and check out some of the established regulars, especially the ones here on Cerb. If you do try someone new, there's a free site called Tiny Eye which does a reverse search on images (or, use google image search at the very least). If they give a cell phone number, google it to see if comes up as a scam. If multiple ladies are using the same phone number, that's a big warning flag usually. An excellent rule of thumb = if it seems to good to be true, there's a decent chance it probably isn't true. Don't take any one person's review, good or bad, as being gospel. Also remember Cerb rules only allow people to post good reviews, ie recommendations. I can share some of your concerns, as I just recently moved to Halifax and had to leave some of my favourite ladies back west. To me, Halifax had (has) a reputation for underage trafficking, so I was hyper-cautious. While I enjoy a young 20 year old as much as the next red-blooded male, I have zero desire for a 16 year old and "child molester" would probably look bad on my resume at work. That's my biggest caution with Backpage. Luckily for you, Halifax has lots of established ladies. In absolutely no particular order, here's several that have multiple excellent reviews... Exotic Touch Danielle, MsManda, Addictive Barbie, Kylie Jane, Cristycurves, Savannah Sol, Dirty Blonde Maria, Bad Ass Bella, Littleprincessemma... any of those would likely be an amazing time. Read their reviews, look at their albums, see if it matches what you are looking for. If Asians are your thing, the agency VIPOTG is usually the way to go, but they can be a challenge for new clients to deal with. Three last pieces of advice, young grasshopper... (1) even if the lady offers it for an extra price, never ever ever do BB FS. (2) Remember that you are only donating towards time and companionship, period. If you want to avoid legal problems, do not go in to "I'll pay you $X if you do Y" on the phone or in emails. (3) Treat the ladies like gems. Be nice to them, they'll be nice to you. Grab a shower before you go, be polite, and absolutely respect their limits. Good luck, my friend. Fire me a PM if you need any more help.

also looking for info on this if anyone has any..

Michelle_MA. Best ever!!!!!

I am one of those guys who doesn't use these products, simply I've never felt the need. I do shower and brush my teeth before I go to see a lady, and take a breath mint on the way there. If for some reason I haven't had the opportunity, I will ask if I can take a shower before we start. I don't think I'm stinky, and the amount of BO I have under these conditions I feel is nothing to get too concerned about. One odor I occasionally run across with some ladies is one of smoke, which can't generally be masked, and I think this is far more offensive than a mild sent of a clean body. Nature uses a scent related chemical called pheromones, which are natures way of promoting sexual attractions between sexes, and to mask these natural chemicals seems to me to be counter productive. I was once with a lady and was kissing her body all over, and naturally she would also get some licks. I must have been kissing her breasts and inadvertently strayed and got a tongue full of deodorant as my tongue strayed along her side to the area of her armpit, and Oh what an awful taste.