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Not sure if this is the right place to post this but I'm happy to say my warranted suspension from a few years back has been lifted and I look forward to be able to participate on this site once again. Thank you to Mod and a special thanks to Lydia H. for giving me a second chance so to speak . It will be a kinder more diplomatic version of me I promise , I missed not having access to what Lyla offers to us Hobbiests. With a lot of scams out there I always felt this community offered comfort and security to all parties involved. Now the fun begins !

What do you do when you fall in love with your SP? I mean, I was not expecting this! Does anyone else have this experience?

She is fine. Taking a break during Covid

Thanks to everyone welcoming me back now and in the future.

Welcome back Boomer! Glad to see you back here.

Don't believe I've ever interacted with you before @boomer01 as I'm Ontario based but welcome back - and especially because your thank you note above perfectly underlines the benefits of a positive space like Lyla.

A second welcome back boomer01!

Good to have you back boomer01 !

I nominate @MsMandafor her bold, genuine comments. Proud of her 😎

Even though chances were slim that she would feel the same way, I think it was brave of you to try. I’m glad she responded to you with compassion. It brings to mind @waterrat’s interview and his valuable insights on the topic.

Thanks for the input! I have had an open discussion with her. She was very sweet about the whole thing. Looks like this happens frequently for her so she was not shocked when I confessed how I feel but clearly asserted her policy of keeping professional life separate from personal. Pardon me if this was the wrong forum. I was simply hoping my fellows on lyla had experienced the same and could advise me. She suggested a dating site if I want a partner lol. Win some, loose some.

I believe a love relationship survives long term if both people are mature thinking people who are very compatible regardless of what their occupations are or have been. Do they fight fair and really listen to each other. Many ladies in the sex trade have fallen in love with their clients and worked out an arrangement with them that works for both of them. Those who marry and leave the business just don't report back to the public as a rule so gathering reliable stats on how well they work out is impossible and not really a yardstick to use anyway. If they didn't work out well, it likely has more to do with the characters and personalities of the people than it did with working in the sex trade. Leaving the sex trade would remove much possible conflict clearly, but it depends on what kind of love relationship the couple wants and needs for themselves that is the real bottom line. If you define love as "strong liking" as opposed to the more "forsaking all others" kind of devotion, a couple can still be in love long term and be happy if they have maturity no matter what they do for a living in my opinion. .

Well I notice you said "when YOU fall in love" so the question I have is...is it mutual? If it's not.... remember you went into this as a business relationship so you don't have the right to decide it is something different now. If it's mutual then you need to be talking to her and not us. Just my Opinion.

Well, if you're in love. then I suggest living together, getting married, have an open relationship.... whatever turns your crank and both parties agree to and find fulfilling. Of course any of these options will be more expensive than the current situation. This is the voice of experience here.... to quote my dear friend Zorba the Greek: "Am I not a man? And is not a man stupid? I'm a man, so I'm married. Wife, children, house--everything. The full catastrophe."

I've been in this sort of situation recently. I had an SP I was seeing back in 2009 which ended up that we hung out together and we became close. She got caught up in life drama & making bad life decisions and I had to break away from it in 2012. 6 Years later out of the blue she contacts me out of nowhere and wanted to see where I was in life compared to her. I was doing very well but her situation was pretty bad. I made the mistake of feeling sorry for her and lending an ear / attention to her for a few months to the point where I went to visit her in Ontario and help her out a bit which ended up being a huge mistake as she ended up having feelings for me and dragged me into her drama again. Long story short, she's back to being an escort again (even though she's married with kids which I didn't know until I got there) Fool me twice... shame on me. A lesson well learned. As to why some of us men fall for this... I don't even know why. I know I don't have an answer as I'm usually a lot more smarter & intelligent than this so i'm at a loss for an answer. But it happens more than you think.

Long time members of this site might remember other similar threads over the years ... they might even recall my strongly insisting that "Real Friendships" can be developed in this industry ... well here we are years later and significantly wiser.. This is a business plain and simple... and yes in a business you can have friendly relationships that extend beyond the pure business transaction but you need to keep in mind that it is all dependent on that business transaction. When you become a regular with a lady of course the relationship changes ... you learn more about each other and may even extend your interactions outside the actual business arrangement... there may be celebrations of special events Christmas, birthday etc but I have learner that it is extremely wise to remind yourself on what this is all built ... a sexual fantasy... a business arrangement and even with the best intents by both parties letting it go further then that will result in problems. Both parties need to ensure that they nip these things in the bud. When they are not nipped in the bud trust me one party or the other will misuse the situation maybe not intentionally but regardless one or the other or both will get hurt. My suggestion for this industry is to be lead by your little head and leave your heart out of a business arrangement. Your not here to be a part of her personal life or to save her... and she is not here looking for a BF or Husband. Just my Opinion

I also have gotten very attached to a specific sp. a few times. the one that was very special to me I spent a small fortune on. I helped her out with rides, clothes, picking up supplies for her, buying outfits, taking pics for her ads, taking her to industry events. When she quit and went into hiding because of a stalker, I was the only client who saw her regularly. I became very attached. I never had any illusions about a relationship outside the industry, and never had any free sex, although I did treat her to dinner more rimes than I can count. I took her in a small paid vacation and paid for a few overnights. The problem was when I thought I deserved special treatment. She made it clear I was a client and at one point she told me to stay out of her personal life. I think she had friends who told her to keep me at arms length. Every time I bought her a present, she’s tell me what she wanted next. It got out of hand. i took up seeing many other sp’s. And as I spent less and less money on her, she quit texting me asking for gifts and telling me what she needs. Eventually I realized rhat she’s doing quite well without me. It was me who put myself in the daddy/protector role and I don’t need to do that. I haven’t seen her for a few months. I’ve played sugar daddy to a few others, but in a few of those situations, they start taking advantage and drive me away. The answer was to see more and different SP’s. Although I care and appreciate the Lady’s I see, I have no need to get involved in thier lives. There is another one I care for who has a drug problem, and doesn’t want help. I backed away, hope she finds help someday but it’s not up to me to rescue anybody.