JoyfulC

I never used to like turkey. My mom's turkey could be considered a method of torture. But my husband brines his turkeys for a few days before roasting them and they come out super juicy and flavourful. Now I look forward to turkey. What I don't like is a huge meal. We usually just have turkey, stuffing, cranberry sauce, and a salad or cole slaw. I found a recipe for crescent rolls, and I might make that too. We'll see.

To me, a time waster is someone who plays 20 questions about meeting but never or rarely books. Like the guy who writes/texts/phones me multiple times about meeting up when he's in the area, then, whoopsie, something comes up. It happens, for sure. But it also happens that there are people who get almost as much pleasure out of almost seeing an SP, with none of the risk or expense. Who knows why? But it's not just this. Over the years, I can't say how many times someone cornered me at a party to tell me about the time they _almost_ made a skydive. To avoid being viewed as a time waster, don't contact until you're reasonably sure you can make it.

For many years, I never asked for payment until afterwards, although most volunteered upfront. Lately, though, I had a couple situations in which we both forgot, requiring an inconvenience on the part of the gentleman to make a trip back to pay me. So I have been trying to remember to get business out of the way upfront (before my 56-year-old brain is effed up in a post-multi-orgasmic haze). It's never happened that anyone has refused to pay me beforehand when I've remembered to ask, but if someone did and explained that he was doing so to keep me on my toes, he would find himself back in his car in a blink. As if!

Yeah, well, I think I read somewhere that Hitler was a teetotaller and a vegetarian. On the other side of the coin, FDR died in his mistress' bed, Jack Layton visited massage parlours, and Bill Clinton ... well! I look at some of those stick-up-ass self-identifying Christians south of the border, with their uterus obsessions, and I think, please spare me from virtuous leadership!

Yup! Much older men have always fascinated me because sometimes... just sometimes, you can get them talking afterwards. And they tell you about things you won't find in any history book. They were there and lived it. When I first started, back in the 70s, I was privileged to listen to men who'd lived through the Great Depression, WWII, and survived the Holocaust. My soon-to-be 90 friend was an adolescent on the verge of manhood in Holland during WWII and told of how his parents had to hide him and his brothers from the Nazis, who rounded up young men and sent them to labour camp. Another friend told me of eating mashed parsnips mixed with isoamyl acetate (blech!) to make a sort of fake bananas, they were so desperate for any food variety in Ireland during WWII. One of my earliest regulars was a sweet little old man (who's eyeballs were just about at nipple level on me). He'd done well for himself in commercial real estate but was almost pathologically cheap. He also _always_ had food stashed away in his pockets. A half eaten sandwich. A bit of pastry. It was kinda gross. One day I asked him about it, and he explained that he'd lived through the Depression. He was just a kid, but his family had it rough. A fear of being hungry never left him. One thing that impresses me in many of these personal accounts is the resiliency of humans, and I realize just how lucky I was to be born in the exact time and place I was. Twenty or more years, one way or another, or a few thousand miles made a whopping difference in the opportunities I could expect.

Uh, nope. Definitely not me. But a "maybe" on the Ladies in Longjohns calendar.

58 is still a pup. When I think of older men, I think late 70s, 80s... There was one guy who would have turned 90 later in the year the last time I saw him. Haven't seen him in a few years. It's certainly possible he moved on to someone else. Maybe even got a girlfriend. He was in great shape, physically and mentally, and certainly knew his way around the female anatomy!

I'm afraid I'm guilty of occasionally leaving a guy feeling stood up, but it's almost always because I didn't realize that the client considered it confirmed. I try to always make it clear what I need on my end (how or when to contact me), but sometimes I guess people figure they can disregard that. Unless I know I have a confirmed appointment, I make other plans for my time. I don't just sit here, ready and waiting, for the next call to come in. I'm sure I'd make more money if I did, but I wouldn't enjoy life as much.

Congrats, and here's to the next 500!

Okay, this swimsuit is TOO revealing!

Someone actually did this to me once!! Not my client, but a regular of a friend I did a duo with. I couldn't believe it!

I'm still not sure what I make of Justin Trudeau either, but I think it's a mistake to compare him to his father. He is a very different man, with very different life experience. (And my squeaky, black old heart nearly burst when he trounced that mouthy little Brazeau punk.)

Great thread! I used to live in jeans, until a soft tissue injury put a stop to it. Now I live in skirts. Not quite as sexy and revealing as the ones pictured here, but I still find they make me feel much more feminine than jeans did. And while my skirts are all very conservative for being out and about in the neighbourhood, my summer secret is, I never wear panties. ;) (My winter secret is I'm wearing longjohns. :/ )

My daughter has a number of tattoos. And she's treating herself to yet another for her 35th birthday, which was Thursday. It was hard for me, at first, because, when I was younger, few men got tattoos, and almost no women! But, if you want to have a good relationship with your adult child--and I do!--you have to respect their choices. At first, my husband, her step father, obsessed about them. He seemed to feel compelled to bring up his opinions on them every single time they spoke. Until I managed to convince him that continuing to do so would only cause her to avoid him. If he hated the idea of tattoos so much that he'd prefer that, then carry on. But if he valued her in his life the way he'd always led me to believe, then he'd better check himself. And he did. My parents, however, continue to be assholes. For example, they told her they did not want to look at her wedding photos because they did not want to see her tattoos. What can I say? They drove both daughters away with their judgmental arrogance. Maybe they'll kick off before they drive their only grandchild away too. But I must say, it has to be hard for the mother of the young man pictured in the article! Imagine having a child and knowing you will never see or kiss his naked face again!

There are some SPs who will promise anything to get you in the door and get your money in hand. But there are some things an SP might have a hard time delivering on after promising, sight unseen. DFK is one. I love to kiss, but DFK, to some people, seems to mean something I'd be more likely to describe as tonsil tasting or attempting to discern what I had for breakfast. Think of it yourself. You love DFK, but when you meet, you discover that your SP, while being clean and not having bad breath, simply doesn't have a taste or a style of kissing that works for you. People don't kiss to satisfy terms of a contract, but to explore, arouse and be intimate with another person. That's why I never feel comfortable being put on the spot to agree to such terms, sight unseen. I've always been skittish, and more quick to write someone off than to push for a sale (and I've only gotten worse with age, I know), but that's something to consider when communicating with an SP beforehand: some are working hard at selling, and others are working hard at identifying who will be a good match. I suspect you'll get your best service from the latter, if she chooses you. But too, I suspect that, like me, such SPs will be put off by someone who wants them to commit to too much, sight unseen. I recommend you only dive into "hammering out the details" of a contract if it's absolutely essential to you. And make it clear that you will not pay if it doesnt happen. But don't be surprised if many SPs wish you well and send you on your way.

The other thing, too, is that if there's some reason you can't follow the SP's instructions, phone her and explain. She will help you come up with the best alternative. She knows the area best!

I spent an hour this morning with a wonderful new friend. But we didn't get off on such a good foot. Shortly before he was due to arrive, I noticed a man wandering up and down the road. ?? I live on a little dead end road with only three homes on it. When I see someone wandering around on the street, I look out my window and wonder, who's that? What's he doing? I'm pretty sure my neighbours do too! But if I see someone park in front of one of my neighbours' homes, I don't wonder at all. Obviously the person is visiting my neighbour. Nothing wrong with that, and none of my business. When he came to the door, I asked him what he was doing, and where was his car? Oh, he parked it elsewhere and decided to walk up. "To be discreet." Groan!! Actually, where I live, that probably pretty much ensured anything but! When I do encounter my neighbours, one topic of discussion often comes up: did you see those people down by the path to the river? I wonder who they were." "There was some woman out walking around. I thought she was a Jehovah's Witness, but she didn't come to my door. Did you see her?" Nobody ever says, "hey, who was that guy who came to your house yesterday?" That would be nosy and inappropriate. They only seem to notice and talk about the ones wandering around on foot. Because it's unusual to see non-locals walking around out here. Everybody notices. Guys, we want to be as discreet as much as you do. And we know our neighbourhoods. And our neighbours. That's why we sometimes give you very precise instructions for where to park and what to do when you arrive. Please follow our instructions. (And, of course, the same advice goes to SPs when visiting a client's address.) Thank you!

Neighbours who drink too much and become home invaders. Ugh! (Thank goodness for noisy dogs.)

I don't purchase much, but over the last month, I purchased a new domain name (JoyfulC.com), five new earpod headsets with remote/mics, and an iPhone (iPod) app for my Microsoft Access database. Satisfied!

I'm definitely not a newer SP, but I feel a bit like the OP is trying to pull a fast one, defining the choice as between being willing to compromise on rates to keep a nice regular, and being a cold, calculating woman fixed only on the bottom line. That's a false choice. The fact is, there are plenty of really decent, enjoyable men out there who are willing and able to pay our rates. Ending up with a bunch of cheap regulars will only stress an SP out and is more likely to lead her into situations in which she rushes people or her quality of service suffers. And please don't make it sound like this is somehow easier for someone who doesn't need the money or who hasn't set goals for making a certain amount. I'm just such an SP. I've never been a go-getter. Other than keeping myself in jump money (which I don't even need anymore), I was never the type that had a list of expensive things to acquire. But that doesn't mean that I would ever be willing to spend more time with someone for less money just to see them more often. Because a woman like me isn't in the business to make lots of money, but to have lots of time. Suggesting she give you more for less is a bit like the guy who wants to pay you with cocaine and do it with you during the session. (And believe it or not, I've received that offer too many times over the years. :( )

I take my weekends on Sundays and Mondays, and I'll admit, there's a little moonshine involved, but I think I'm gonna try using some leftover chicken to make buffalo chicken wraps. First time making my own egg roll wrappers, so wish me luck!

OMG!!! That's it! THAT'S IT!!! How in the hell did you find it? I looked everywhere. I'm telling you, screw all these think tanks and policy makers. When you want to know something, you've gotta come to CERB. The CERBies would sort this world out pretty damned quick. Thank you, Tallguy007!

Not sure what's for dinner, but breakfast (served at 3:30 pm today!) was big, fluffy pancakes, and eggs scrambled with bacon, with lots of butter and maple syrup. The doggies made out like bandits! Dinner? Maybe cocktails. It's the weekend!!

Sometime between 2006 and 2009, I happened upon a movie on TV. It would have been broadcast on Bell Satellite East, but I don't recall what station. We didn't have much of a package, but we got things like A&E, CNN, the science fiction channel. It had the feel of a made-for-TV movie. Anyway, I never watched TV closely, but I caught a bit of this movie once, and then stumbled upon it another time in the middle of the night and saw almost all of it. I'd like to see it again, but I don't recall the name. I have looked everywhere. It opens on a family moving into a new neighbourhood, parents and a teen boy. There's some suggestion that they were run off from the last place they lived. The parents are radical scientists? Biologists? Horticulturists? Ecologists? Something like that. Anyway, kid goes off to new school and has typical rough time fitting in. Meets a girl way out of his league, but they like each other. Meanwhile, there are signs his parents are up to their old tricks again. They grow stuff. A LOT of stuff. To the point where living organic matter eventually takes over the whole house. At some point, the kid is tied to the roof of the high school without his clothes on for pissing someone off. The ozone layer is extremely thin in this time frame, and people can't go outside without protection from the sun's radiation. He is badly burned. Meanwhile, his father seems to have disappeared, but ... I'm hazy on this part... he sort of absorbed into the house, which by this time is a growing thing. He reappears and gives the son some salve. It makes his skin impervious to the UV radiation. At some point, some rough kids come for him but find his mother instead. They get ideas, as she's kind of an earth-MILF, but the father, who is now one with the house, makes short work of them. The kid arrives home from a day out with his girlfriend to find a hazmat team surrounding his home, including some rival scientist who was either competing with or had disapproved of his parents work. Eventually he finds that his parents have transformed into a new lifeform and blow away on the breeze. I really want to see this movie again. Does anyone know the name? Or remember seeing it?

I think I'm going to lose over 90% of my tomatoes this season.