JoyfulC

We had the nosiest, most intrusive neighbors ever at the last place we lived in Ottawa. But amazingly, they never seemed to clue in to my business. (If they had, I'm sure they would have reported me; and if that didn't work, I could see them being the types to photo/video every guest I had--yep, they were just that obnoxious!! The whole neighbourhood despised them, and we moved because we got to where they were so annoying, it was ruining our enjoyment of our home.) I made arrangements to see new visitors at another SP's location, just in case, until we moved. You never know when The Neighbours From Hell will move in next door.

It's a personal decision, but I've never had one and probably never will. If I get the flu, I will have the flu. I'm quite healthy and rarely get sick. I think vaccines are great for those with compromised immune systems (elderly, undergoing chemotherapy, etc.), but I sometimes I wonder if they don't encourage us all to get them to cover the R&D costs to ensure vaccines are made for those who need them most. In her later years, my mother-in-law always said she got sick after getting her shot.

1) I have used my real first name for many years, still some people get confused and call me "Joy" or by that other "L" word associated with another site I ran for a while. Many of my regulars know my last name too. It's not a big deal. 2) For me, over 40 is just a matter of preference--just as some might prefer a redhead or a Latino or a spinner or a BBW. Some younger guys take it as an insult, but really it's just a matter of preference and being such an intimate business, it probably goes better if we all stick with the comfort of our preferences. I would never be insulted by a guy who said he preferred a younger SP (I'm 53--although I might wonder why he answered my ad, as I make it clear that I'm older). It's a horrible feeling to be with someone and come away feeling that they weren't comfortable or satisfied, and that's why it's best that we all stick to our preferences. 3) Depends on the situation. I let him take the lead. If he seems okay with acknowledging our acquaintanceship, then fine. If not, I act as though he's any other stranger. An SP probably will not approach you unless you indicate it's okay--but same goes for you. If she doesn't seem receptive to it, you should not approach her in public.

1) Being my own boss and being able to conduct myself in a way I feel is fair to myself, respectful of my community, and ethical and compassionate to my client. 2) I did partially retire once, and yes the sexual variety and adventure is a tough act to follow. This might seem egotistical, but my life has always been defined in a way by those who tell me how important I am to them and how much I'm in their thoughts and dreams. It makes one feel very precious and cherished. 3) A long time ago, perhaps. I've learned to see those types coming and sidestep them. Or maybe that's something more likely to be faced by younger women. 4) DATY and pleasuring a woman is not about skill but about being responsive to feedback, even when it's unspoken. Be receptive to the clues your lover gives you; when it's obvious something is reaching her, keep doing that. Let her know there are no expectations -- you just want her to focus on her own pleasure and relax. And above all, never rush your partner. She'll arrive in her own time, with you picking up on and playing to the signals she's sending out.

Now THAT'S some truly excellent advice.

Sorry, that should have read "mid 80s..."

I have many consumer horror stories too, but every once in a while, a screw up happens in your favour. I leased an 8086 from The Steals People in the mid 90s. Cost about $3500! I wanted a 40 MB hard drive in it, and this just blew their minds. It took them several tries to set it up properly, and the one guy there told me that if I had that system for the rest of my life, I'd never fill that drive. Anyway, after going in to pick it up two other times and leaving empty handed, they called me in to get it on New Year's Eve. And still they had trouble. I stood around waiting, and eventually the store was closing. In the nick of time, they finished and got it all boxed up and handed it to us. We gave them our voided cheque; they gave us our copy of the contract. Several months went by, and no money had been taken from our account. My husband phoned to inquire, and was treated like someone unsophisticated in the ways of contract financing. !! We were told to wait and make sure we had the money in our account to cover the payments. We did. When no payments had been deducted for six months or so, my husband phoned again. And this time the person he got through to talked to him like he was 12 years old. He was advised that his responsibility was to make sure the money was in the bank, and he should trust the pros to do the rest. So we did. But more than a year later, we were ready to move and wanted to shut down that account. No lease payment had ever been deducted, and my husband wasn't really eager to go through the unpleasantness of being talked down to again, so we closed the account. We got $3500 worth of computer for free (not for lack of trying to pay for it), no one ever seemed to notice, and The Steals People eventually went bankrupt. Usually when they screw up, we're the ones who end up paying and/or being inconvenienced. So when once it works on your favour, it is sooooo sweet!

Hilarious! Thanks for posting that. I love KITH.

I'd love to find it in a downloadable file format, but so far I'm only seeing it available on media such as DVD and BluRay. (but at least now I know the title I'm looking for!)

More will pop up, sure, but which one will turn out to be the favourite, and THE place to advertise. Sites like CERB and EC are terrific, but unfortunately some guys can't or won't visit adult sites. Cl wasn't an adult site, and so many people (especially those not terribly savvy about covering their tracks) felt safe visiting it.

Oh... wait. No. I think the one I was thinking of was Karmina 2. But this is great! I hope I can find both on iTunes.

THAT'S IT!! Thank you so much!

So... under what conditions would you recommend marrying a man then? ;) (IKR? To help you love your kitties and puppies.)

The other thing about cl is that it wasn't a sex site. The site offered a lot of different advertising, and so people felt comfortable going there with no fear of being accused if found out. It's the same thing with The Sun classifieds--who can prove someone bought them to check out the SP ads, and not for the sports news ... or the hypocritical right-wing commentary that would make one gag??? We need something similar again (only better managed), something that carries our advertising, sure, but which also offers some "reasonable doubt" explanation for what someone was doing on the site. Neither CERB nor EC currently offer that.

I gave my husband a kitten a couple months back, and it might have been the best idea ever! It's so sweet to see how much he loves and enjoys that (spoiled rotten) little kitten. He gave me a rescued 3-year-old cat (Mina) for companionship when I had my apartment in Ottawa. She wasn't that well socialized at first, but we found our way to being very close. She's very affectionate with me now, and I'm her fool. We've taken in more than a dozen rescue dogs over the years, and a few other critters too. It's worth it. It's not easy--but it's worth it.

Although I used it, I was never a fan of the site in question. But I agree, this won't end trafficking or underaged prostitution. It may even drive off to somewhere more difficult for enforcement to see it. But the one thing shutting it down does do is end the normalization of it. I remember a time when incall was never openly advertised. It happened all the time, but not usually on a first encounter or without a good reference. Then one day people started openly advertising it, and it wasn't long before everyone started to expect it and think it was risk-free. I never saw anything on that site that made me think there were such serious problems, but apparently others did. And if it were to be seen that such was being done openly, unchecked, then some people might start thinking maybe it was acceptable.

I think you're onto something, Roaming. When I was working in Alberta, I found many guys in email or on the phone to be noticeably less sophisticated than most guys in Ontario. But too, in person, they ended up being the sweetest, most generous people you could meet.

That's the thing I don't get: I just got a reformed 3rd gen iPod touch. Yeah, it's got the problem with flash, but not a big deal. No mic or cam either--but for the amount paid, it offers a lot of functionality. The best thing about it, though, is it fits in my pocket. If I must have something bigger and clumsier, it will be full featured like my netbook

Communication win!

I think the problem was that cl took a totally "hands-off" community moderated strategy. This played into the hands of criminals & fraudsters, and was often used against legit advertisers. I advertised with them and will now need to find an alternative to their convenient "enroute" advertising that worked so well for me. But overall, I'd rather see our advertising handled by responsible professionals. I never paid a cent for my cl ads, but they took their toll on me in so many other ways.

Exactly! But too, retention is our incentive to consistently give our clients quality experiences: so they will want to come back again. And the other side of this is, what happens if he does return? He will likely expect the same rate. Some have pointed out that there may be conditions under which it might be preferable for an SP to accept a lower rate than to have no business at all -- and there's some truth to that. But if the customer wants to return, when conditions are more favourable, now what does she do? Does she give him the appointment and then kick herself when someone willing to pay her full rate asks to book that same slot? Does she cancel with the lower paying guy and take the better business? Does she tell the lower paying guy that she can't confirm for sure until ten minutes before the appointment, so she can be free to take someone willing to pay her full rate until the last minute? And what if there's more than one guy like this who wants to repeat? Now she has two classes of clientele: preferred and second class. That would be a pain to manage, I'm sure. And so really, what is our incentive to give someone who pays less the type of service that will ensure his return? Why not just take his money and put as little effort in as possible? I recently went through a prolonged exchange of email with some fellow who figured I should give him a significantly lower rate (we're talking less than my half hour rate for several hours of my time, because he doesn't like to rush). He tried very hard to make me feel guilty, asking me to look inside myself and see if I wasn't just being selfish and greedy, that I couldn't reach out and do something for another human being. Nice try, but I don't feel at all guilty. Reason? Like everyone else here, SP and hobbyist alike, there are luxuries that I might enjoy having, but I either can't afford them or I couldn't justify paying that much for them. This isn't anyone else's fault, and I neither blame anyone else for the fact that I'm not having these things, nor do I feel that anyone owes it to me to give them to me for less. There are few people in this world for whom money is truly no object. The rest of us have limits on our budgets, and we accept that. There's always the option to make more or spend less elsewhere to find the money.

I usually do ask if we've met, but it would be appreciated if people would identify themselves initially. I wouldn't know anyone by their CERB handle. I haven't advertised here much, and usually by the time someone has my phone number, we've already exchanged email. Even on the phone, it's probably a good idea to take a minute to say who you are and if we've met. Some days I'm just not up for seeing anyone new, but if I've met someone and the experience was pleasant, I'm more likely to be available than if I have no clue who I'm talking to. It's funny but I get calls from people I met once or twice, and not for months, yet they seem to expect me to guess who they are.

I'm new to using texting to communicate (late adopter), and one thing I find uncomfortable is when I get a text asking me if I'm available, and I don't recognize the number and so I don't know who's asking. It does matter to me because there are some I'd be happy to change my plans for, but if I don't know it's them, it won't happen. Does anyone else find this awkward? I'm wondering if, at least the first couple times you text someone, you should identify yourself, especially if you know them otherwise.

I apologized to Stevecurious privately already, but apparently a broader apology is required. I was only trying to inject a bit of humor, but this is obviously a very serious topic where humor is pointless. Really, I've always wanted to visit PEI. I have no prejudice toward the province or its people. I'd love to visit there myself, although not to work. I agree, an SP will get disrespectful jerks no matter where you advertise. Just be happy they tip their hand in email, and you didn't have to waste your time and have the displeasure of finding out what they're about in person. Yay for email!

I've never been there, but my husband has and he claims they drink their beer at room temp. No accounting for taste, eh?