JoyfulC

I am having an interesting exchange with a very sexy guy I know. He tells me that he loves it when I cum, but adds that he suspects I often "hold back." Uh.. YEAH! Of course I do! I don't want it to all be over with in a couple minutes. Of course I realize that I can't prolong it for the entire meeting, but if it isn't going to last long enough to be enjoyable, why bother? I don't even rush when masturbating. (...well, except in the shower when I suspect my supply of hot water is limited) Is it only guys who are allowed to say, "hold on... I don't want to cum just yet" ??

It never used to matter to me either way, but a friend of mine has awakened in me a fascination with balls. Odd... they were there all along, but I paid little notice to them. So for that sort of thing, for sure, shaved is better (although man, that has to be a tough place to shave). We keep threatening to make a video. But first we have to find a crotchless Spiderman suit. ;)

Mine neither! It's the one part of the job I dislike. I learned long ago to work hard to keep people coming back -- makes up for my poor sales skills.

Yeesh, can't figure out how to comment -- but even though I know they're out of the playoffs, MEG, I LOVE THAT PICTURE!!! YAY!!!

Okay, so I guess this is what I'm asking: if a guy lies to me and says he never saw my rates page when I know he did, should that be a dealbreaker? (Lately it sort of has been -- it's just so creepy.)

Unfortunately, the video was the deal breaker for me -- as much as I'd love to have one of those, how in the hell would you move it?? I mean, the one I want is 8 feet in diameter and 3 feet high. Goodness knows how much it weighs. They ship it to you in several boxes, most containing compressed foam. Great, but how do you take it with you? Me? I tend to be a big fan of nomadic furniture.

It's a kneejerk reaction to assume that because all and every form of prostitution isn't completely, totally legal that this means we have bad laws and they should be fixed. Nothing could be more wrong, in fact! Canada actually has some of the best prostitution laws in the world, striking a fair and reasonable balance between the rights of prostitutes and their customers and the community at large. No where in the Criminal Code is it illegal to be or use the services of an adult prostitute. All our laws are carefully crafted to target specific problems presented by (and towards) our industry. Our laws protect prostitutes from exploitation. And the fact that they are in the federal Criminal Code protects us to a large degree from the very thing you describe: some tinpot politician exploiting the stigma surrounding us for some safe political leverage. (Unfortunately, in some areas, they've used municipal bylaws to circumvent the law. If anything needs to be fixed, it's that.) In all except those municipalities that employ bylaws to target prostitution (and which, curiously, seem too have far more serious prostitution-related problems than municipalities that don't take this approach), enforcement is executed with a light hand, acting only when there are problems and legitimate complaints from within the community. Over the years, I've heard a number of suggestions, such as making a "red light district" where streetwalkers can work legally or allowing SPs to work from their homes legally. I honestly believe, we're far better off with the way things are. For one thing, there are always going to be people who push the limits. The current laws keep us honest and mindful of our obligations to keep a low profile in the communities we work in. Sadly, some people seem to need to be reminded of that. Remove that, though, and not only would you have people taking things way past the bounds of responsible behaviour, but you'd have the inevitable oversized blowback from this -- and this would result in zoning laws and bylaws that would be far more Draconian than what we currently must deal with. And again, like you say, there would always be the element of political exploitation. When I was in Alberta, I looked into getting licensed to work in Calgary. I was shocked to learn that I would have to register (and pay) to be both an agency and an independent (at that time anyway -- not sure about now), and there were a bunch of conditions I would have had to meet that would be considered outlandish in Ottawa. The licensing fees, interestingly, were among the highest three for businesses. The other two were for outdoor events (such as open air concerts where there would be a good possibility of noise, traffic and parking complaints, as well as the potential for greater police services involvement) and for home alarm installers (again, another business that costs the city money responding to false alarms). But... why should escorts be placed in such an expensive category? What problems do we cause?? Apparently I was not the only person to ask such a question because Calgary already had an answer to that question all mapped out: because our businesses run afoul of the majority's values and morals. So that makes it okay to gouge us. Sure, I get it. In many cities where bylaws require escorts and agencies to be licensed, there is incessant harassment of them. And yet, street prostitution in these cities is as bad and perhaps even worse than in cities such as Ottawa. If we were to remove the laws from the federal Criminal Code, we'd be opening ourselves up wide for predatory and senseless bylaws. Believe me when I say that we actually have a very good thing going for us here right now. Best thing we can do is appreciate it.

Okay, lots of good reasons here, but it still doesn't explain why someone would claim he didn't see your rates on your page when you can see that he's sitting on your rates page the moment he contacted you. I wouldn't mind someone saying he wanted to confirm a rate or what is included in it, but when he swears he didn't see the rates on my site and he's contacting me from the rate page ...?? Why lie? I had always scratched my head over this one and sort of figured some guys were lying to me, but until I got this new live chat tool, I couldn't prove it. The tool was actually designed for use in real-time sales, customer or technical support, and so it provides a lot more information that I really need. I'm actually talking to people who are on my site, and I can see where they're at and where they've been. For the first time now all shadow of a doubt is removed that someone is lying about having seen my rates when I can see he's contacting me from my rates page or at least has been to my rates page and spent a couple minutes on it. It's just creepy. I don't blame anyone for asking for a lower rate -- I don't take it personally. But no, when I shop, I more concerned with getting a product or service that's right for me than with getting a deal. I figure, if it's not right for me, then no matter how good the bargain, it's still a waste of money. And if I'm not comfortable with the original rate, then maybe getting a 1-time deal isn't such a good idea -- what if I like it? Will I then be stuck making the choice between having to cough up the extra when I want it again? Or will I have to settle for a service in my price range that I won't be as satisfied with? Why put myself in that dilemma in the first place? Either I can afford it at the regular rate or I can't. Services aren't like cars or iPods. When they have zero financing deals, it's usually to move out old inventory to make room for new. There's not really any equivalent to that in a services model.

Oh man! .... It really does often boil down to that, eh? ;) But hey, as silly as you are sometimes, nature built us so that we can't resist you.

It's one thing to ask for a rate confirmation -- I wasn't referring to that. I'm talking about guys who you know they saw your posted rates (in my case, I sometimes know they're looking at them as they ask!) but who claim they never saw them. Too weird. (And yes, I agree, providing parking info is essential. Even if I go to dinner at friends, I'd like to know about parking. If they don't offer, I ask.)

Yep, it is a terrific video. (My husband had to watch it numerous times -- for technical purposes, of course. Of course. ;) ) But that video was also instrumental in our decision to hold off on buying one of these. Notice that the foam filling comes in compressed packages -- what if you were to move? How would you move something 8 feet in diameter and three feet high? (And goodness knows how heavy.) Could you re-compress some of the foam? Oh yeah, I could just imagine the mess that would make. I'm really torn over this one. It looks comfortable, lots of fun to play on, and so desirable -- but could we handle a piece of furniture like this? hmmmm.....

Yes, I usually try to confirm the length of session and the rate when the appointment is confirmed, but sometimes things get chaotic and I forget. Technically, I think you have to honour your posted rate -- unless someone shows up with an out-of-date ad or page that you haven't been using on your site for ages. (Actually, that's a good point, WrinkledInTime -- in other businesses, I believe you have to date your prices. Maybe we should start doing that too -- as in, "These rates are in effect until December 31, 2010, and may not be valid after that time.") I do find that about maybe 30% of guys try to "negotiate" only it's not real negotiation because they're almost never willing to make any sacrifices for a lower rate. (Well, except for those who insist they only want oral, but considering that requires more effort and skill than regular sex, it isn't much of a sacrifice.) I find most are just looking for a better price for the same service, and it must work because so many do it. I've even had guys say, "well, maybe another time when business is slow." Yeesh. Still, I had a guy this morning while I was online ask me my rates when I could see he was ON my rates page. I asked him if he didn't see them on my site, and he had the nerve to say "no." Needless to say, we were off on the wrong foot! ;)

I can relate. One of the first pornographic pictures I ever saw still stands out in my mind today -- it was of a woman lying back, her legs spread, and cum was laced through her bush. But not everyone has a nice bush! Mine was always meh. And my friends seem to prefer shaved, so! While I like either way on a guy, I know that lately I have had a real thing for nicely shaved balls. And I feel guilty for that because, man, it has to be hard to shave there!

I sincerely doubt the police would kick in the door. Worst case scenario, they might knock or phone the room. As for gangs and criminal activity, stick to finding contacts through respectable sites (such as this one and Escorts-Canada.com). The criminal elements tend to be... well... criminals and so they're always on the run, changing their names, their numbers. The very definition of "fly by night" operators. You'll often find them advertising in places where they can do so free and reasonably anonymously. And finally, they will usually make an extra effort to lure the gullible with stuff too good to be true -- fake pics, incredibly low prices, offerings that most SPs or agencies wouldn't make. It's just common sense. I feel bad for the guys who get busted and scammed, but there are so many tools these days to avoid it, like this site, that all you can do is shake your head in wonder.

For the past few years, I have not bothered putting rates on my site. I meant to build a rates page, but just never got around to it. Besides, guys would almost always contact me and ask me what my rates were, even though they were posted. So for the past couple years, guys have been contacting me saying they couldn't find my rates on my site (true enough, as they weren't there). Just this week, I got around to making some updates to my site, and I put up a rates page. Very first guy who contacts me asks me what my rate is. And then the second. And then the next. And so on. ????? What is it, guys?? It gets worse. I have a live chat support feature installed on my site, and so I can see where people go and what pages they have visited. Very often, they will contact me FROM the rates page to ask me my rates. Really, this has been going on for decades, and I'm dying to know -- why is it that so many guys insist on asking for information that they already saw on a web site or in an ad?? Oh, and another thing I've always wondered about: why do some guys feel that it would be more discreet to park a block away and walk over? In most of the neighbourhoods I've lived in, I'd never notice a car visiting a neighbour's house -- but if I see someone walking down the street that I don't know, that always gets my attention. It's been a long day already! Some of my video configs are mangled and Mina puked in my shoe. :(

In response to what Jason said, I'll note that I worked for an agency briefly in Toronto whose phones were almost always answered by the agent, himself. (Believe it or not, the agency was called, "Rent A Bunny" -- IKR! It was only for a couple months, I SWEAR!) Back in those days, there was no internet for the general public, and few people had computers, let alone modems to participate on BBS's. Men were very isolated with respect to their involvement in this "hobby." There were occasional groups of men who obviously were discussing and sharing references among themselves, but the overwhelming majority of customers really had no other man they could discuss this with. And they could only discuss it with the SPs they met. Now think about this: you guys come here -- some of you every day. You obviously enjoy having other people you can speak freely with about this, both male and female. At the time I worked for Rent-A-Bunny, I was not comfortable having a man representing me, and I was suspicious of the men who were obviously okay with dealing with another man for my services. It made me feel like a commodity. That's why I didn't stick around. In retrospect -- and especially after reading Jason's comment -- I wonder if some of the agency's customers didn't find it refreshing to be able to discuss what they were doing with another man who didn't judge them and who understood. After all, there is so much stigma surrounding this. Even though we have sites like this available these days, I still find that the majority of new people I meet don't participate on them. It can be very hard having to carry the burden of having a secret, and a tremendous relief to be able to deal with someone who knows and doesn't judge you for it. I wonder if many of Jason's callers don't feel some sense of relief in becoming a regular of his agency and being able to confide in another "dude," to use Jason's words.

Some of the best television I ever watched was commercials. How is it that more thought and creativity goes into a 30 second commercial than into a 90-minute movie?? But that said, I've never been a huge consumer. I have never been one to run right out and buy because I saw something in an ad -- does anyone do that?

I guess it comes down to a balance between the profit involved in micromanaging the ladies and the losses from guys who really don't want to deal with other guys on the phones. Pimps are incredibly insecure people. They'll take any loss to stay in control. Just say no.

Not so much my creativity as my husband's. The Esse is definitely the most versatile shape I own -- maybe only second to the Wedge. It's a very good investment! This is what I want http://www.liberator.com/eng/product/zeppelin/10051 -- we just don't have room for it now, but we are seriously thinking of ditching our bed in favour of this!

I see that you have started with the scoop -- I'll confess, that one has resulted in more than a few face-plants for me. :-/ But I'm still working on it. Storing the scoop was also a problem, but my husband came up with a great solution: he made it into a vanity for me! He did this by cutting a piece of fibreboard the same shape as the edge of the scoop, covering it with pleather, and mounting it as a shelf with angle brackets just slightly higher than the width of the scoop. Then he hung a mirror over it, and put a cube in front of it as a vanity bench, and it works great! I love having a vanity I can sit at to brush my hair and apply my make-up! And whenever I want to play with it, I just pull it out. I don't know if this pic will work but... here goes: If not, you can view it at http://twitpic.com/pfflm

I have a wide range of Liberator shapes: the wedge/ramp combo, the stage, a couple esses, three! cubes, an escape pad, and a scoop. I love them all (although I've nearly killed myself and/or a friend playing with the scoop and the cubes). Where were these things all my life?? Sex really is about the angles, and these toys make it comfy to get into a whole host of fun positions. For example, the wedge is great placed under a lady's butt while she is being worshiped between the legs. Sitting face to face in the saddle on the esse is great for kissing, lap dancing and so much more. It's also great to recline on the esse while someone stands in front of me. I'm also very impressed with the quality of these toys. I think I got my first one in 2003 or 2004, and I've used the heck out of all of them -- and yet, they remain in excellent condition. The covers are removable and launderable, and underneath is another teflon-impregnated cover. The microfibre stands up surprisingly well to Miss Mina's claws, and her hair wipes right off it. It's also great stuff for everyday living. It doesn't scream SEX FURNITURE!! KINKY FREAKS LIVE HERE!!! It actually looks classy. It's comfortable too. Recently, I was talking with my husband about the need to get rid of some of our furniture when we downsize to a smaller place, and noted that I'd hate to give up the Liberator shapes. He said we should get rid of our conventional furniture, and keep the shapes! I predict you will become an addict, Soleil! Good choice, and have fun!!

Not to mention that negotiating in the middle of a session is a bummer. I used to have to work this way back in the 70s when I worked for an outcall massage service. The "fee" was just for the massage, and everything else was negotiated between the customer and the masseuse for a "tip." I never felt it was fair to the customers to ask them to negotiate while in a condition of arousal. Men do "think with the little head" -- some more than others. I'm sure many times people spent more than they budgeted for simply because we quite literally had them by the short & curlies. I'm more comfortable with all-inclusive. I have tried offering just massage with manual over the years, but too many of the guys who want this are just looking for a lower rate, and still want all the regular services. So it works both ways.

Could also be the influence of a man. I'm sorry to say it, but over the years, I've known many pimps and men who exploit prostitutes. Almost to a man, they seek to instruct their girls to take a predatory view towards the customer. You'd think, being men themselves, they'd advocate for the man's perspective to help their girls provide better service and get more repeat business -- but instead, they seem to prefer to use their knowledge of men against the customer's interests. It's also a way of keeping control of the girls. After all, many women (especially young women) who are involved in this business are a bit isolated. It's not like they can ask their family or community for advice. But one person a young prostitute does come into contact with and who she can learn from is her customer! Often the customer has the prostitute's interests at heart far more than her pimp does! For that reason, a pimp always strives to poison a prostitute's mind against her customers to reduce any influence they might have on her. When I first started, in the 70s, it was almost always like this. The conventional wisdom was that, when a man is "thinking with the little head," he'll pay more. Consequently, the majority of customers got burned back in those days. We're lucky now to have the internet and an open dialogue between the hobbyist and the SP. We can learn more from each other than from anyone else.

I don't charge extra for different levels of service -- only for different venues. I really am not an outcall person, and so I charge more for that. When I have to go into town and get a room to see people, my rates are slightly higher in consideration of my higher overhead. But here at home, that's where I can give my best rates. Mind you, it's not convenient for everyone, but it is more convenient and cost effective for me -- hence the lower rate. (... oh man, did I really say "hence"?? Yikes.)

That's why I went back to my natural colour -- I want to see my grey. I earned it, dammit!! ;) I don't have as much as I'd like yet. My husband has always had gorgeous hair, long and just the right amount of wavy, bouncy curl -- and in recent years, it's shot through with silver and looks really good! I was hoping that if I went back to my natural colour, mine would look the same but... not yet. (Why is it that men always get the best hair and lovely long eyelashes?? And I won't even go into how he can eat a side of beef, a loaf of bread, and top it off with a quart of ice cream and still lose weight. Yeesh!)