JoyfulC

For sure! That's how I feel when someone comes to see me with an active cold sore, and then wants to kiss me. I have never had a cold sore, but if I ever got one after meeting with someone who wasn't considerate enough to wait until his outbreak passed, I think I'd want him dead. Being a woman, and being in this business, the last thing I'd need is for someone to give me something that leaves me facially disfigured, and put me at risk for blindness, Bell's Palsy, etc. I'd want the bastard in jail, or at least I'd want to be able to sue him for my damages. But that's how I feel emotionally. What I know intellectually tells me that is a bit ridiculous. Here's what I found on Wikipedia: "Some people experience negative feelings related to the condition following diagnosis, particularly if they have acquired the genital form of the disease. Feelings can include depression, fear of rejection, feelings of isolation, fear of being found out, self-destructive feelings, and fear of masturbation.[106] These feelings usually lessen over time. Much of the hysteria and stigma surrounding herpes stems from a media campaign beginning in the late 1970s and peaking in the early 1980s. There were multiple articles worded in fear-mongering and anxiety-provoking terminology, such as the now ubiquitous "attacks," "outbreaks," "victims," and "sufferers." At one point the term "herpetic" even entered the popular lexicon. The articles were published by Reader's Digest, U.S. News, and Time magazine, among others. A made-for-TV movie was named Intimate Agony. The peak was when Time magazine had 'Herpes: The New Scarlet Letter' on the cover in August 1982, forever stigmatizing the word in the public mind.[89] The scientific reality is that most people are asymptomatic, the virus causes no real health problems for a vast majority of people, and a vast majority of the Earth's population carries HSV-1, 2, or both." Still, that said, it is really rude for guys to show up with active cold sores. If this case makes it through the courts, I would not be surprised to see someone charged with transmitting cold sores to another person -- or at the very least sued for it.

Actually, once you are infected with cold sores, you are also infected for life. And while most people experience only the occasional outbreak around the mouth, others experience more serious complications, including blindness. Others, though infected, never experience an outbreak -- or may experience their first one years or even decades after infection. There really is no difference between genital herpes and cold sores except which end of the body the virus infects. People assume "herpes" always means genital herpes, but a number of other human diseases are caused by herpes family viruses, including chicken pox (and "shingles" -- the latent form) and Epstein-Barr. Cold sores are probably more widespread than genital herpes because most people get infected as children, through kissing and close contact with family members and other infected children. While there is palpable panic about avoiding transmission of genital herpes, it's odd that there is almost no effort to protect children from being infected with cold sores -- although some cold sore suffers go on to experience serious complications, and outbreaks tend to be very traumatizing and painful for many. I agree that there may be more to this story, but it sort of reminds me of the case of the kid down in Kingston, back in the early 90s, who was accused of "date rape" by several young women, and brought up on charges. Date rape is a very real crime, but unfortunately, this particular case didn't clearly fit the scenario. Rather than call public attention to the seriousness of date rape, this case had the opposite effect of watering it down and calling doubt upon victims alleging it. Sometimes prosecutors rush to file charges without fully thinking through the implications. I believe this is one of those cases. It will be interesting to see how it unfolds and what the long-term implications will be.

Let me ask you this: if a guy has ever in his life had a cold sore, do you feel he has an obligation to disclose this to an SP before meeting with her? Because, after all, it can inhibit our ability to work if we were to have one. This is a common complaint that I've heard from many SPs, that a guy showed up with a cold sore, wanting to do DATY or kiss. Even if a guy does DATY with a cold sore, although the first lesion (if there is one) may well show up in the genital area, subsequent lesions may show up on her face. So if you believe that this man should be charged, then you are saying that any person who has ever had a cold sore must disclose this to any other person they intend to have any sort of oral sex with -- including fellatio, cunnilingus, and mouth kissing. And it even extends to innocent mouth kissing between family members and friends. Are we really prepared to go there?

No, of course not -- because HIV is a potentially fatal disease. However, genital herpes is no more serious than cold sores. Do you have any idea what percentage of the general population has suffered from cold sores? Surely, we're not going to criminalize the spreading of that. It's like the difference between spreading a common cold and spreading tuberculosis. Most people are infected with HSV-1 -- which is exactly the same disease as HSV-2 (genital herpes) except for site preference -- in their infancy, and the person who gives it to them is usually a family member. HSV-1 -- cold sores -- can be debilitating, and are disfiguring and stigmatizing. My question is, are we going to start charging people who know they have cold sores with infecting their children by kissing them?

This is priceless!

http://www.ottawacitizen.com/news/Soldier+gave+women+charges/2583185/story.html?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed:+canwest/F291+(Ottawa+Citizen+-+Ottawa+News)&utm_content=Google+Reader I'm flabbergasted that this is being brought to trial. I think it's a very dangerous prosecutorial effort. The soldier in question is brought up on charges that he has sex with a number of women without disclosing that he had genital herpes, and is now charged with aggravated sexual assault and criminal negligence causing bodily harm. The problem I see with this is that HSV-2 (genital herpes) is distinguished from HSV-1 (cold sores) by site preference -- the former preferring the ganglia at the base of the spine, and the latter preferring the ganglia in the jaw. Otherwise, as infections go, they are indistinguishable. If anything, cold sores are more disfiguring and stigmatizing. If this case proceeds unchecked, then what precedent is set? Friends of ours recently had a baby. In the past, I have observed him to have cold sores. Undoubtedly, he has kissed the child's mother (thereby infecting her with the virus, whether she exhibits symptoms of infection or not). If either parent now kisses this child and the child is infected with HSV-1 -- cold sores -- are they then guilty of child abuse? Criminal negligence causing bodily harm and disfigurement? Can this child then sue her parents as an adult for disfiguring her? This is one of those situations where a crown prosecutor is biting off more than s/he can chew -- and the ramifications may well be felt decades down the line.

I often wonder if it will happen the way it did with skydiving for me. One minute, we were living it like there was no other way to live, and then one morning we just couldn't be bothered to get up and go to the drop zone. Whatever happens, I'm just going to take it as it happens. I couldn't imagine life after skydiving, and yet, it seem extraordinarily sweet to me (as much as I enjoyed jumping). I'm sure that when my time comes to throw in the towel, it will be the same. I just don't want to drag it out past my expiration date. I've lived my life since I was maybe 25 thinking that any minute I was going to be past my "best before" date, and yet, I must say that I've had my sweetest experiences in recent years. I keep thinking to myself "if I'd only known then what I know now!" One thing that has really struck me lately is the smiles. Maybe I was just too preoccupied to notice them before, but in even just the last year, I can't help but notice some of the expressions of uninhibited joy on the faces of my partners. Probably they were there all along, but for whatever reason, it took me all these years to see it. One thing I will note is really important as we grow older is to be ourselves -- and represent ourselves fairly. No SP is for everybody, but the younger or older you are, the narrower your right fit is. I think, as we get older, it's more important than ever to see the right guys for us, and filter out those who aren't right. This entails being honest, it's true. But it also entails reading the customer and determining if he's making the best decision for himself, as well. For example, guys who are younger than my preference will often insist that they prefer older women -- but may not realize that if I don't prefer guys in their age range, it's not going to be the best session. Yes, I can go and take their money once -- but it won't result in my best work and likely not in their satisfaction. Best passed over. I was with a "friend" a month or so ago, when it was quite cold, and there I was, 52 years old, riding cowboy, butt naked except for a pair of woolen crew socks. If you had told me, when I was 19 years old, that that day would come, I would have laughed in your face. But then too, things are so much different today than we ever expected them to be 30-40 years ago. I was chatting with my daughter on AIM the other day, and wrote something to the effect of "if our buzzes could be posted to Twitter the way our tweets are posted to buzz, it might be more practical..." Man! If you'd have told me back in 1974 that I would have ever uttered something like that without the benefit of hallucinogenic drugs, again, I'd have laughed out loud. It's a different world. Who knows where we'll go from here. (... and yes... I have been drinking. Why do you ask? ;) )

Meg, your expiration date is printed under your left asscheek. Use a hand mirror, or get a friend to check it for you. I'm sure there are a number of helpful people here who'd volunteer. Don't be too concerned if you don't find anything there. Not all models were built with expiration dates. In this case, you'll have to go by other indicators such as: whether you're still enjoying yourself, whether your phone and email account remain busy, and whether people keep wanting to see you again and again.

I always thought that MILF was a term that referred to the mother of a buddy who is still very f*ckable -- a Mrs. Robinson type. (...am I dating myself here?) Or the mother of one of your classmates in high school who gives you fantasies. Angela, you are a MINK -- Mature Independent, No Kids. ..c..

After all these years, I'm always nervous and shy meeting someone new. I tend to be overly cautious about whom I meet anyway, and worried that we'll be right for one another. The good news is, 10 minutes into a session, I'm usually over it.

Hi Erin -- it's supposed to be some great collaborative tool that can be used for planning, development, drafting of documents, brainstorming, etc. But frankly, having used it a bit over the past month or so, I can't really see where it beats Skype. Skype has many add-ons that allow for collaboration, as well. I haven't had a chance to actually try editing a document in real time with someone yet -- and I'm not sure that can be done in Skype. That might be useful. I think they were a little too stingy with the invites at first, and so many of the early previewers ran into the problem of having Wave, but no one to use it with. They may be getting over this, though. When I was there a couple nights back, they gave me 16 invites, and now they've bumped it up to 25.

If you need one, please send me your gmail address.

I just finished W. Sommerset Maugham's "Of Human Bondage." I had trouble getting through it -- I only kept at it because so many people told me that it was an important book to them. I'm not sure why, though. I found it difficult to sympathize with the protagonist. After finishing it, I went on YouTube and found the 1934 movie version (split into 12 pieces) at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JqzMtUVr9c8&feature=PlayList&p=AEA4C80F0AC33AEC&playnext=1&playnext_from=PL&index=152 starring Leslie Howard and Bette Davis. Whatever. It seems to deal with the part of the book I had the most trouble with. Now I'm working on Helen Waddell's "Peter Abelard" (1934). It was a birthday gift. It is the story of the Middle Age romance of Abelard and Heloise. So far, it's pretty good -- catchy dialogue. A bit heavy on the religious scripture. ..c..

Hey, the SPs would love to get notice too. Sometimes we are symptomatic for days before anything happens; other times, wham, it sneaks up on us. Sometimes it's a regular thing; other times, it's all over the calendar. There was once a very beautiful and beloved escort in Ottawa who went by the name of Victoria. She told the story of how, one evening, while visiting a favourite friend, she lifted herself off him to find he had a big red smile. Poor girl was mortified! And what's worse, he didn't realize it and she had to tell him so they could clean him up. Poor him too!

I'm usually pretty good, but in October, I COMPLETELY forgot an appointment until the poor gentleman showed up at my door. Unfortunately, we'd decided to paint the floors upstairs that day. Not only was my husband home, but I was wearing my sexiest painting clothes. We'd decided to make up a couple burritos before starting. We were standing in the kitchen, when an unfamiliar car pulled up. EEEK! He had written a couple weeks earlier to say that he was going to be in Kingston that week, and he had to be back in Ottawa at a certain time. I googled driving directions, and I just didn't think he'd be able to make it for the 2-hour he was requesting. I suggested a shorter session, sending him the directions as evidence, and he wrote back and said, no, he thought the 2-hour was do-able. Then I never heard from him again until he showed up! Honestly, based on that exchange, I didn't think we had a confirmed appointment. Luckily (like most of my guys) he was a good sport about it. Introduced him to my husband and then he found somewhere else to be. I had showered that morning (thank goodness), so all that was left to do was climb over the furniture piled up in the hallway. I guess he wasn't too angry, as he's been back since. But man, was I embarrassed.

Was it your idea or her idea not to "go for the home run"? Having been married 27 years, I can assure you that a "lady's time" is no barrier to any activity, as long as neither partner minds. In fact, some vigorous rumpy-pumpy can really help with cramping. I doubt if many ladies can take their full periods off every month, although the first day or so might be tough. I think most of us are careful not to see anyone new during such times (as we have no idea of their preferences and don't want to risk letting someone down) and only accept regulars who've either made it clear that they don't have an issue with it or who enjoy activities that won't be affected by it. Viva la menopause! The victory lap of womanhood!! ;)

Sounds great, except I just tried it on our own cell phone and it didn't work. We'll contact our carrier and find out if there is such a thing for our phone and how to access it. I don't think it would be fair to review the resort on this. Something like this can happen anywhere. In my daughter's case, her phone fell into the hands of someone who obviously is intent on trying to shake down all her friends and contacts.

Oh, for sure her phone got cancelled immediately. But the dickwad that stole her phone is calling everybody in her directory, trying to shake them down. Some of us figured maybe we could return the favour and call him back ... a few times a day. She has more than 300 people in her phone directory. If each of us could call back 10 time a day or more, well.... But I just tried again and it seems that the new number is no longer accepting calls.

Happy b-day!

Ottawa is a national capital. Angela, you know we can't be sending these boys back to Parliament Hill with pubies in their teeth!

Younger than I could say here, being politically correct.

My daughter was at a resort in the Caribbean earlier this week. The first night, her room was broken into and her cell phone was stolen. As if that wasn't bad enough, I received a call (presumably from the burglar or an associate) pretending to be a police officer, telling me that my daughter was "in custody" and suggesting that I should send some money to make the situation go away quickly and cleanly. Unfortunately, this call woke me up and I wasn't thinking clearly. I should have waited until the caller gave details for sending the money but instead I immediately called his bluff as the person who had her stolen phone. So much for that. But since then, this jackass has proceeded to phone everyone in her directory (some nearly 300 people) and attempt to perpetrate one scam or another on them. So far, no evidence that anyone is falling for this dunce ... ... but I just tried phoning him back and got him. As soon as I said I was her mother, he hung up. Obviously, he's still using the same phone number (... not her number -- that's shut down -- but a new one that he used when he called me. So. Any advice on revenge? Anyone willing to help out? ;)

If I had little kids, believe me -- I'd be getting vaccinated. They're germy little critters. But with respect to STDs, can you not understand that although we deal with the public, there might be a difference in our level of risk re: STDs and H1N1? I see 2-5 clients a week. I have sex with all of them. Outside of that, I do not venture out in public much. My husband does, once a week shopping -- and he washes up the minute he gets in. We have one neighbour who (insists on) visiting regularly, and a couple more we see in passing. So do you really think, given that information, that I'm at as high a risk for H1N1 as I am for an STD? (...and I'm not even sure that, compared to the general public, I'm at all that high a risk for an STD -- haven't tested positive for one yet, I'm selective and informed.) We have to trust one another. Those of us who don't choose to get vaccinated must support the government in making sure vaccines are available to those who would feel safer with it. But on the same token, those of you who choose to get it must trust those of us who decide to either wait or not get it at all to make the best decision for ourselves.

Well, here we go again. I'm probably older than many on this board, and I've been watching this flu vaccine thing roll out for years. It's almost always more likely that we'll have a shortage than a surplus. Minister Aglukkaq's comment last week that "Canadians who don't get vaccinated against swine flu are needlessly putting themselves and others at risk"? If that was true then, who's putting them at risk now? I am disappointed and disgusted with the government's handling of this matter -- as I am their handling of so many other matters lately. It seems that Minister Aglukkaq, in her zeal to encourage people to get immunized, saw nothing wrong with stigmatizing those of us who make the choice not to get vaccinated as lepers, a danger to all we encounter. It seems to have blown up in her face since, with the shortage, the majority of people are now in that category, although not by choice. What will people who feel that unvaccinated people are a threat do now that they know that so many people can't get vaccinated, and perhaps not they themselves? Will they shop more? Will they go out to eat? Will they take in a movie? Will they see an escort or get a massage? Um... yeah. Hyperbolic scaremongering works really well for our economic situation too, eh? The same thing happened with the handling of the economy. I don't think the government could have held off the recession and job losses, but I do think they could have lessened the impact if they'd shot straight with us right from the start. Prime Minister Harper was insisting that we weren't in a recession long after it was obvious to any intelligent person that we were. And almost immediately, his government and the Bank of Canada began telling us that we were in recovery. (I swear, if I see one more photo of Mark Carney's face plastered with a shit-eating grin, I'm going to hurl.) They massage the markets a little, and come up with their three consecutive quarters of growth, and pronounce the recession over. Their definition of 'recession' and Clinton's definition of 'sex with that woman' have a lot in common, it seems. For those of us whose reality depends on jobs and business activity, the recession is not over. It seems that our government thinks we're sheep that must be herded, through scare tactics and too-good-to-be-true promises, than that we are intelligent people, capable of making rational decisions, given solid information. It seems that they want to construct a vision for us. It's like that line from "Chicago": "Who are you gonna believe, baby? Me? Or your own eyes?" We need to start electing people who respect and trust us. (Disclaimer: I say "the government" and I'm no fan of the Harper administration, but at this time, I'm not sure anyone else could or would do better. My references to the government are aimed at those who seem to gravitate to such positions of power these days and their approach to dealing with the public. My comments are not in any way meant to be partisan.)

So now they're saying that we're looking at a shortage of vaccine in the days to come. I'm not somebody who believes the vaccine is unsafe -- nor am I somebody who believes it doesn't work. I just believe that it is unnecessary for me -- or at the very least, that I'm not a priority recipient. I rarely get sick. I tend to be fairly reclusive -- sure, I see clients, but I rarely go out shopping or out in public. When I do get sick, usually I don't get very sick and while anything is possible, it's not unreasonable to think I won't get very sick if I were to get H1N1 either. I am almost never in contact with little kids. And I have the kind of job and home situation that, if I do get sick, I can take the time to stay home and recover. It's not like my boss will fire me. I'll have support and I won't need to spread anything to anyone else. I know my lifestyle. Sometimes a person's reason for not getting vaccinated is more pragmatic than anything. Flu vaccines seem like they fall in short supply every single year. I've never gotten one, and I'm probably in the lowest risk group possible (save perhaps hermits and those guys who man forest fire watch towers). Why take up a vaccine that someone more needy could use? Could the worst still happen? Sure. I read that someone's house got hit by a meteorite recently. Vaccine or no vaccine, anything's possible. But we need to be responsible and level-headed in our assessment of risk too. I believe that many here face a much higher risk of contracting H1N1 than I do, and so getting vaccinated is a good idea for them. But I don't think I'm at a level of risk that I need to run right out and get my cut off the top.