JoyfulC

My best fantasy? Oh, that would be my NEXT fantasy! :)

Yes, that's my "Susan Boyle" word of the day. But it well describes Pollan's "The Omnivore's Dilemma." ..c..

I'm currently reading Michael Pollan's "In Defense of Eating." It's a follow-up book to his "The Omnivore's Dilemma" which I finished last week and which was fantastic! I learned something new on almost every page, and it took me a while to read it because some of the stuff was so unbelievable, that I had to go online and check it out to assure myself that the author wasn't just pulling my leg. "In Defense of Eating" isn't quite as gobsmacking, but it's still pretty good.

So I suppose it would only take one $5000 fine to eliminate that advantage, eh? ;) But I don't really think cost is all of it. I think there are many reasons men turn to the streets -- some of them perhaps innocent enough (I've had some guys tell me they thought it was safer, and others say that they thought it was the most common way to engage a sex worker), and others perhaps not so innocent (men who prefer to deal with women who are desperate and well below them in terms of social status, or men who have a contempt for society). I still think getting tough with penalties would encourage a majority to choose other options. That's a good point! But again, it comes back to the argument that neighbourhoods exist for the purpose of people living there and raising their children there. Any business that interferes with the primary purpose of a neighbourhood is undesirable, in my view. I think we have a system in Canada where the laws are much tougher than the enforcement in many cases, perhaps to give law enforcement the teeth to deal with problems in a hurry. In most places I've lived or worked from, my neighbours appeared to be clueless as to the nature of my business, and appear to identify me (and my husband) as people to be trusted. We've had neighbours give us their keys to take care of their pets and plants while they're away (even if they're several doors down), tell their children to come to us if there's a problem (and that's happened), come to us when they've lost a pet (my husband is legendary for finding lost pets), and coming to us with various computer or household problems or for advice on legal/government matters. Friday night, our meal consisted in part of some beans our neighbours shared with us. So I guess we must be conducting ourselves in such a way that we're not viewed as any threat or problem in the neighbourhood. But not all incalls are so. I've heard stories of a half dozen (and in some cases many times more) customers coming and going from incall locations, of inappropriately dressed women coming and going, cars parking illegally, fights breaking out and the police being called, and men propositioning other women in the vicinity. There's no place for any of this in a neighbourhood, and at least in the case of prostitution, law enforcement has the teeth to shut it down fairly quickly. Certainly, if accountants or lawyers or naturopaths were introducing similar conditions into a neighbourhood, it might be tougher to get it shut down -- but no less desirable! What would be the difference between a private condominium and a house or apartment? It's still residential. Hotels are fair game up to a point, as our businesses are mutually beneficial. But too, a hotel can toss any guest out for being disruptive. I never liked incall for first time meetings because, while my instincts are pretty good, nobody's instincts are perfect all the time. If there's a problem, I'd rather have it be on his turf (with someone knowing where I am and when I should be back) than on my turf after the door's closed. I do incall because it's pretty much industry standard. But I still think it's safest, from both physical and legal standpoints, to see someone at his place or hotel room at least one time before inviting him to visit me.

I do think that sex workers are the best suited to counsel streetwalkers to get off the streets. But that said, having been involved in some of this, I'll note that the success rate was still abysmal -- especially in the case of pimped streetwalkers. Some streetwalkers I've encountered in the past (and I'll admit it's been 30 years or so) didn't identify themselves as sex workers! They just needed money and this was how they could get it. But they didn't view themselves as sex workers the way that most SPs here do, and can be offended at the suggestion that they look at it like a business. After all, that would make them prostitutes. The pimped women are more complicated because there's a (highly dysfunctional!) relationship going on there, and layered below that, I believe a dysfunction somewhere in their backgrounds that makes this type of relationship seem appropriate -- perhaps even comfortably familiar. I still think the most effective solution is to for the law to come down hard on the john side of things.

But why would a woman do that to someone? I do think that men should respect that no means no -- but if I were a man and a woman did that to me (played with me like that), I'd want nothing more to do with her. I'd assume she was either cruel or psychotic. We women must take some responsibility for our sexual outcomes. There's a big difference between having someone jump out of the bushes and club you over the head, and rubbing your tits all over some guy's face, then, when you know he's all fired up and you know you got him that way, changing your mind. I guess I am very old-school this way. I hate to see victims put on trial once things go to court, but on the other side of the coin, I always cautioned my own daughter not to advertise for what she doesn't want. I mean, technically, we should be able to walk around with $100 bills loosely hanging from our back pockets and no one should take our money as that's stealing and it's wrong. But this is the real world, and I don't think any of us should count on every other person we encounter doing the right thing. Most people will do right -- but there are people out there who can't or won't control their urges. Do you happen to remember that famous date-rape trial in Kingston in the early 90s? In that case, it came out in court that at least two of the three victims continued dating the guy AFTER the alleged date-rape occurred. One of the "victims" even knitted a pair of mittens for the guy for Christmas, again after the alleged incident. (I believe he was acquitted, but still, it must have been quite an ordeal.) "No means no" can be abused too, and if we women want to be taken seriously, we have to start by behaving responsibly.

I was thinking more of the hobbyists. We have make-up to cover our imperfections and antihistamines to hide them. But sometimes guys come to us in serious need of TLC.

It depends on who the employee is and their security clearance. If someone's working with sensitive, classified issues, it may be reasonable for the government employer to be head's up about things like involvements with prostitution, affairs, gambling, even poor credit as all these can render a person more susceptible to blackmail.

I should note too that, with a cold, a person might have a big red nose, be hacking and coughing, have a rough voice, a runny nose -- and yet be past the contagious phase. I have a few friends who get colds that seem to linger for a month! Unfortunately with colds, you may be most contagious the one or two days BEFORE you start getting symptoms -- and since no one has a crystal ball, they can't be blamed for passing a cold around. By the time a person really looks like death warmed over from a cold, they're usually no longer contagious.

I'm not even going to bother to get the flu shot for it. I've never had a flu shot in my life (nor has my husband) and yet, we're usually healthier than most people -- we rarely get sick and when we do, it's pretty mild. If we get it, we're just going to have it, drink lots of fluids, stay home and avoid other people until we're well over it. One thing I would like to note, I've gotten a Noro virus twice now from clients -- once in 2002 and again just last winter. In both cases, I knew exactly who I got it from -- and when I asked them, they admitted to having it a day or two before. In each case, I was only sick for a few hours (but what a wild few hours!!!!), but I went home and didn't return until the following week. One thing to remember with Noro viruses is that you can be contagious for up to four days following infection, even if your symptoms have ceased. This is how these cruise ships end up with massive outbreaks: people get it just before they leave, but by the day they're supposed to go, the symptoms are gone and they're feeling okay again. They don't want to cancel their trips, so they go -- but they're still contagious and Noro spreads like wildfire. So please, guys, if you have a bout of gastroenteritis that could be a Noro virus, give it a week before you see the ladies. It would be greatly appreciated!

Yes, she has a great voice but she has no emotional depth. She's singing about something she can't possibly have lived. That will come with age and experience.

I guess this is the band that does the theme song for that new Twilight movie or series or whatever it is (...I'm about vampired out, truthfully). But often studio music is really overproduced, especially involving someone so young. This vid shows that this young woman has raw talent -- and she's as tiny as a little bird to have such a set of pipes on her, eh??

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M8DerPLETZg Man, she is AMAZING!!

I dunno. I see another side of it. My sister and I once were present when our mother confessed that she'd been "date raped" -- she'd skipped school to go skinny dipping with a guy, and he "raped" her under a raft. Our first questions to her were what was she doing skipping school and going skinny dipping????? Men are not women. I'm not suggesting that all "rapists" are innocent -- but my own life experience has led me to believe that there's only so far you can lead a man on before nature takes over and makes his desire for sex inevitable. My husband has always said that if he was on top of a woman with his dick between her legs and she suddenly said 'no' he'd assume she was nuts and back off -- but... I don't think that's ever happened to him. The fact is that there's aggressive, pre-plannned aggressive rape (which is pathological) -- and then there's a man having to fight between his natural instincts and his intellectual input. I'm not saying that it's right that a man isn't able to conquer his natural instincts intellectually -- I'm just saying that my own advice to my own daughter was to never put a man in that position. Always make it clear from the get-go that sex wasn't on the table, unless it actually was. I guess a lot of this stems from my own personal matrilinealist beliefs that woman are designated by nature to be superior/supportive to both men and children. I feel that nature equipped us to be the guardians of humanity, and therefore, we must be very clear in our interactions with all others of our race. (Weird, eh?? ;) )

That's the tough thing. If it was done officially, they'd have to be counseled to work outcall -- but that would certainly be better than working on the street. If Canadian SPs could get involved in providing consultation off the record, they might be able to consult on more practical avenues -- although I don't think any govt. sanctioned agency could go with that. The fact is that the laws in Canada tend to be broad to allow LE much surer enforcement capabilities in the case of a problem. For example: the "living off the avails" laws -- technically, an infant child of a sex worker would be guilty under the letter of the law -- or the husband of a sex worker. But that's not the purpose of the law. Many children in Canada rely on their mothers for financial support, and many husbands rely on their wives for the same. The purpose of the law isn't to support sexism. But the law needs to be broad to be able to thwart the "loopholes" of those men who truly do exploit sex workers, else they'd hide behind more conventional models. We're talking the kind of guys who pick up runaways at the bus station, lure them in and then confine them, forcing them to submit to that which they never intended to do. I think WE know more about this whole world and are better able to advise young people. Would they listen? That's the tough question. But I think we probably have more credibility than anyone else.

There's a big difference between being a sex worker and being a streetwalker. Think of it this way: marital sex is not only legal, but thought to be healthy and encouraged. But married couples are NOT encouraged to flaunt it in public. It would be just as illegal for me to give my husband a blowjob in a side alley as it would be for a streetwalker to do so. It's about respect for everybody else. The trouble is that the general public sees sex work as a form of business -- and so they expect sex workers to do like any other business does and pay for their own overhead. Preferably in appropriate locations. And when you think about it, this is reasonable. Look at people's reaction to spammers in email and internet forums -- some get pretty ugly about it! It's not right for people to act out against streetwalkers in violent ways, of course -- but it should be remembered that the streetwalkers are flying in the face of the public's rights in the first place. I am a prostitute and I've lived in or close to red light districts -- I didn't like it! I don't think ANYBODY should have the right to walk all over everyone else's rights to turn the streets into their business venue -- not if it were dental hygienists, not if it were lawyers, not if it were real estate agents. If people want to be in business, they should pay the price to get themselves set up. Incall is not technically legal in Canada, but for whatever reason, a blind eye is turned to it in many areas. I don't agree with that, and I resent having had to compete on that plane -- but still, the blind eye has its limits. If the neighbours become too aware that something is going on, they still have the right to complain to LE and get something done about it. And that's as it should be because residential neighbourhoods don't exist for the purpose of prostitutes (or welders or textile mills, for that matter) making money, but for the purpose of people living in, families growing up in. We are extremely fortunate here in Canada that prostitution is legal, and we are able to work on an outcall basis, completely legally. If someone wants to push the limits of that, to do incall or even to solicit in public places, then all I can say is that they'd be extremely foolish not to be so discreet that they'd never offend anyone's sensibilities. And that's damned hard to do as a streetwalker. I have often been criticized for my anti-streetwalking stance -- but really, it's as much out of concern for the women who put themselves out there as it is for the communities they damage with their selfish acts. To me, streetwalking makes about as much sense as skydiving without a reserve parachute. Sure, I made probably well over 2500 jumps and only needed my own reserve on a main that I packed once -- but I was damned happy to have it the one time I needed it. Streetwalkers take enormous personal risks, and the overwhelming majority of sex workers murdered in North America are streetwalkers. I haven't had much contact with streetwalkers in recent years, but back in the 70s, my roommate was the Mother Theresa of streetwalkers. She thought she could save them. When she'd find one bruised and battered by her pimp or some john, she'd bring them home to our place and try to help them. She'd explain to them how they could work more safely, with more dignity and actually make more money than they were making on the streets! We'd give them clothes, feed them, sober them up, and every single time, they went running back to the streets. And too often, they'd betray us to their pimps after they left, and we'd come home to find our place ransacked and robbed. It's a conundrum. Just like we don't fully understand the reason that some people are homeless, despite so many programs and outreach efforts, we'll probably never understand why some women and children turn to the streets. But what's more important, in my mind, is why the johns are there. There are certainly safer and more discreet options for them. The fact that they turn to the streets, to me, is telling -- it says that they want women at the mercy of their own desperation and low self-esteem. Women for whom a small amount of money is worth risking their lives and the scorn of society. That seems ugly to me, and I really don't understand why society is so easy on them. Dry up the market and you'll do a lot more to solve the street problem than you ever will by stigmatizing the lost souls out there risking it all on the streets. But until we get serious about severe penalties for the johns, we have no hope of solving the problem. One thing I do think might help is if organizations committed to helping women/children on the streets would offer them sound advice regarding how to work legitimately in sex work in Canada, rather than to try to save them from sex work altogether. The problem isn't that they're sex workers. The problem is that they're on the street.

Still, I think the original message that started all this off is more likely the craft of some troll than a real situation. When will we learn that just because we see bait doesn't mean we have to bite?

BB is a privilege of familiarity. That anyone would expect it with someone they just met -- professionally or nonprofessionally -- is creepy. That said, I don't think the risks of bbbj are all that great. It's a personal preference.

You know, it's getting to be less and less. Black & Decker even released a device a couple years ago for opening tough jars! I guess you guys will really have to concentrate on being cute! Don't view this as a bad thing -- we keep cats and dogs and hamsters for the same reason. (...in my house, my man does 90% of the cooking -- and he's GOOD at it! So he's a keeper!)

The thing is, medical science doesn't know everything. I'm old enough and have been around long enough to remember when HIV wasn't known, nor the mechanism behind AIDS. Back in those days, the worst incurable sexual disease you could get was HSV-II. (Which is really just a cold sore in the nether regions -- and only dangerous to babies if present in the birth canal -- and even that was recent info.) Medical science really has no option but to take this stance. There could be anything, any organism, stalking among us that isn't yet known. It could be transmitted by air, by food, or by sex. A responsible physician has no option but to caution against avoiding vectors of transmission. IV drugs and sex are very primary forms of transmission of disease. Hell, these days, some doctors are even recommending foregoing handshakes and advising that we cough into the crooks of our elbows. But under the circumstances, what else can they do? Life is about risk. Life is a contagious disease and death an inevitable consequence. But they're dealing with trying to prolong life. They have to take every precaution.

I just finished an excellent read on the real story behind Goldman profits. Check it out: http://trueslant.com/matttaibbi/2009/07/16/on-goldmans-giganto-profits/

Okay, here's the thing I was looking at: http://www.bathroomsprayers.com What I don't see is any way to regulate water temperature. (...although I'd seriously consider just getting used to cold) Any of the handier men (or women) here have any thoughts about this?

On YouTube, there are all kinds of whacky Korean ads for bidets, including LooLoo

I had the pleasure of living in a home equipped with a bidet for three years, and it was SHEER HEAVEN. What is wrong with us here in North America that we don't have bidets in every home? Here we are with our iphones, netbooks, bluetooth devices yet when it comes to the potty, we might as well be living in caves. Neither bathroom where I live now is large enough to install a proper bidet, but I've been looking at some of those toilet-mounted ones. I found one that looks like it might work, but I don't see any evidence of an in-line water heater. That was one problem with the traditional bidet -- took a while for the hot water to come up.

The truly odd thing is that most new customers never seem to need to ask about such things. It's only occasionally that I encounter someone who seems to almost have a checklist of things he needs to get me to commit to -- and that always makes me suspicious. Sure, one explanation might be that he just really needs to be sure of what he can expect (...although, based on many reviews I've read, it's still no guarantee). But there are other reasons why someone might try to pressure an SP to compromise herself. I'm with Grass Hopper: I charge for my time and company. Nothing else is offered, provided or guaranteed. That said, I have always enjoyed a healthy amount of repeat business. No one knows -- or should know -- what goes on behind closed doors.