JoyfulC

As long as you're only looking for outcall from an SP who provides only outcall service, I suppose that's reasonable. But if you're looking for an incall service provider, all the rules regarding "communication for the purposes of" go right out the window. They only apply to what happens in public. An SP doesn't need to communicate in public to bring a bawdy house charge down on herself. Certain communications in private are evidence of bawdy house. I really wish that some guys would figure it out that it's unreasonable to expect the SPs to take such enormous risks so that they can enjoy none at all (while still enjoying great service), and I really wish some SPs would make the effort to sort out what's legal and what isn't so that they don't put others in the position of either having to lose business or compromise themselves legally to compete. But then, I suspect LE has an active role on boards such as this, and makes every effort to muddy the waters and lead the dim-witted astray. Truth is, you simply can't be too careful when staying on the right side of the law. This subject is much "trickier" than most here seem to realize.

Sure. But let me tell you about the other side of that: the (many) guys who like to keep up a running banter of "stimulating" conversation, but when it comes time to meet, damn! Wouldn't you know it? Just our rotten luck. Have to cancel. Sorry! No way around it. I had a guy back in the 80s in Toronto who used to book 4-6 weeks in advance. And then he'd phone me several times a week -- you know, to discuss really important stuff, like whether I should wear the red & black bra & panty set, or the white one. Because everyone knows we girls plan our underwear schedule out months in advance, eh? And at the end of the conversation, he'd always want me to "say something sexy, to keep me going." The guy probably only actually ever came through on one out of 3-4 appointments that he made. And in fact, once I started giving in to his demands that I talk sexy, I think his track record got worse. I certainly understand that this sort of build-up to a session can greatly enhance the experience for some men -- but remember, if you're not actually paying for it, then it's a bonus. Usually you only pay for the time you spend with us. But if you expect a woman to do this for you and then you have to cancel on her, it would be nice if you compensated her for all the time she took out of her personal life to exchange emails with you or talk on the phone or IM with you. (Which can often exceed the length of time she'd have spent in the appointment.) Once again, this is just one more thing that so many guys abuse that it puts many SPs off to be expected to do it. (Although most of us do it eagerly for good customers who have never canceled on us.) Nobody likes to feel they've been made a fool of, and when some guy comes on really heavy with wanting sexy chat or to exchange steamy emaills, and then cancels or never seems able to make an appointment, that's how we feel. If the shoe were on the other foot, I bet you'd feel the same way. I know guys fall into that "kid in a candy shop" way of thinking, but please remember that this is a job for us. It can be a delightful job, but it's still how we make our livings. I never met an SP living on her trust fund and doing this for kicks. And for you, remember that it is a service that you are buying -- not an entitlement. I suspect that most hobbyists enjoy far better terms dealing with SPs than with anyone else they purchase services from. I know I never get the quality of service when my money's on the line that I give to my customers.

Isn't it the gentleman's job to bring the "beverage"?? ;)

It was probably all the poor boy could do to keep his knees from collapsing after you delivered your end of the bargain! I'm impressed he could stay on his feet. ;)

Oddly enough, I spent most of my "functional" time in the shower. ;) The other thing I wonder too is if it isn't just me or just the particular mattress I got. Because a very good friend spent the night in the same hotel a few nights before I did (although I didn't know it at the time), and stayed in the same type room I did with his wife (who is eerily a lot like me in her preferences and attitudes, apparently), and they noticed no problem with the mattress at all. I dunno. I haven't reviewed yet -- and you guys know better than anyone how it goes: if you don't review right away, you probably feel too ambiguous to review at all.

It's funny how things go round and round. When I was a young girl, getting "the talk" from my parents, HIV/AIDS was unknown. But they wouldn't have been married and had me had a condom not failed. Birth control pills were the thing then. So I was cautioned that if I had any even slight suspicion that I might become sexually active, better safe than sorry, let them know and they'd ensure I got a prescription. They told me not to take a chance on a condom. Many years later, when we were giving our daughter "the talk," we were a lot more concerned about HIV/AIDS -- so back to the condoms! Just recently, there was some success had in immunizing primates against SIV by transferring genes from known anitbodies. Hopefully an HIV vaccine is not far off. But in the meanwhile, it seems to me if we can walk a man on the moon, put robots on Mars, and send probes to the edges of the solar system, we ought to be able to come up with a better solution than the condom. Necessary, but not the most accommodating things in the world.

In not just this business, but in just about everything, I've found that people who engage in barters/trades/swaps always want to believe that they're getting a better deal than if they paid in cash. When both sides of a transaction feel this way, look out -- trouble ahead. Also, it's rare that services or goods are assessed simultaneously. Someone paints your kitchen for you, and then you provide the services -- but perhaps he'll feel that your services were a bit light compared to the work he put in on your kitchen. Or vice versa, you provide services and then he paints your kitchen -- if the work isn't measuring up, what can you do about it now that you've already delivered? And god forbid it should end up in small claims court. I think if a woman wants a man to buy her things or do things for her in exchange for sex, she should take the tried and true method: marry him. ;-) (Anita, I used to do massage trades -- just straight massage -- with a couple of RMTs in town, and I came to the conclusion that I'd far rather just pay for a massage. After a good massage, I prefer to be poured into the sack, not to be awakened until the dogs need to go out the next morning. I can't get into jumping off the table and into massage mode!)

Amazingly, you can actually smell and taste the lingerings of tobacco in the skin for months after a smoker has quit. It takes a while to work it's way out.

Still, I'm more comfortable being seen by someone I know and, more importantly, who knows me. (Perhaps because, being a mature person and a mature woman, the lines between finding an STD and some other serious problem tend to blur.) But I hear ya. There's not much glory for the family physician these days, and that's not good. They are supposed to be our first line of defense. I know too what you're saying about how hard it is to find one. Especially if you don't need one that often. We went through a number of years where, every time we went to return to the last family doctor we saw last, we'd find s/he'd been replaced with a new face. (Neither my husband nor I require frequent visits to the doctor beyond an annual physical. Occasionally we'll get something that we want looked at, though -- such as a hernia or strep throat.) We lucked into one who actually phoned us to say he was moving on to his own clinic and asked if he could take our records -- what a relief!

What an excellent suggestion!

So Canadian!! ;) I don't mind if clients dress casual or if they want to hop in the shower when they arrive. (I had a few guys who used to bike over, and so of course, they'd need to shower.) And with respect to the feet -- anyone who is inviting the public into an area barefoot has to sanitize anyway. I guess, for me, the important thing is that he looks like someone who takes good care of himself in general. Being older, more experienced, I'm not as likely to get scared off by psoriasis or skin cancer or sebaceous keratosis -- stuff that will often send a less experienced SP running. The things I look for are evidence that a person in general has good hygiene and takes care of himself. And yeah. We can tell.

Yeah, I got the standard management speak. No response yet from the written complaint. Well, that's what I'm thinking. I probably won't review at all, which is a shame. Lots of hotels in Ottawa have baffed out mattresses. But very few in this price range ($100-$150/night) offer some of the features they've included in their reno. Oh, if only it were just semen! Think about what all else could be on that bedspread. I read a few articles about a study done to determine how long germs hang around in hotel rooms after the previous guest has left and the room has been cleaned. They hired people with colds (I think) to stay in a room for a night, then had them check out, had housekeeping do up the room, then went in and swabbed various things (toilet flush handle, remote control, phone....). What they found wasn't pretty! As Dorothy would say, there's no place like home. At least I know the germs around here!

I don't know if they cynically decided to save money at their customers' expense. They have made some really amazing and innovative improvements to this place, while keeping their rates affordable. Normally -- like the motto of this site -- if I can't say something nice, I don't say anything. I try to stick to giving positive recommendations rather than being the type of person driving around with a "This car is a lemon" sign in my window. Lots of other people don't seem to have many qualms about bashing so I don't figure the world needs my two cents on that. But in this case, I was really hoping to be able to give a positive review because this hotel is making choices that I view as very positive improvements over the ways things are normally done (at least in the price range that I'd normally pay for a hotel for work purposes). I've always felt that even the cleanest hotels are somewhat grody. Perhaps that's because I know some of the things that people have asked me to do in hotel rooms. That, and once I heard that a perpetrator's DNA was found on a hotel bedspread ... along with 30-some other samples. (And that was just the semen samples.) So when I learned that this hotel was installing laminate flooring instead of the regulation carpeting, and duvets with launderable covers, I was really turned on. I'd like to see them rewarded for such choices and in whatever small way I can, do my part to support their getting business to spread the word. I might just review them anyway and keep the part about the mattress to myself. After all, I did bring it up with them, and truth is, I have difficulty sleeping on brand new spring mattresses. Maybe they rely on feedback from guests to know when to swap them out. For all we know, that mattress has had an unusually high incidence of being in rooms let to families with several small kids who enjoy jumping on the beds.

No offense, you guys, but you're kinda missing the point. I'm not looking for a way to let the management know about the problem. I already figured that one out. Nor am I looking for a place to review -- as I stated in my original post, I use hotel reviews all the time. What I'm looking for is how to give both a good and an honest review. There are so many wonderful things to say about this hotel -- but if I'm to be honest, the one not-so-great thing might be a dealbreaker for many. No matter how nice a hotel is, I would think twice about going there if I heard the mattresses were really, really bad. After all, most people go to hotels to sleep.

Hmm.... Perhaps you're right that they didn't realize how baffed the mattress is and will replace it since it's been brought to their attention.

I did leave a note on the little suggestion thing, and I spoke to whom I assume to be the manager. It's the review that I'm grappling with because for so many reasons I really really want to give this place a great review. I'd love to see more hotels include some of the same features when they renovate. For now, I guess I just won't review. And I probably would use the place again, as it wasn't quite as bad for playing on as sleeping on -- but since I'm only 45 minutes away, I'd probably go home and sleep in my own bed.

I have often used reviews when selecting a hotel for myself, and have used them when helping my daughter pick a hotel. (She's a bit of a world traveler.) Last night, I stayed in a hotel here in Ottawa that I was very pumped about. And I expected to give a glowing review. But... while for the most part, it was the best hotel I ever stayed in, I am frustrated that one thing -- the mattress -- made it the WORST hotel I ever stayed in too! The hotel has recently been redone in a Euro style and they've made some choices that I really like -- such as laminate flooring instead of carpeting. And laundered duvet covers instead of the standard bedspread that is never laundered but simply thrown out when it gets too filthy. (Think about it... have you ever seen a bedspread on a chambermaid's cart??) The room also featured a walk in shower made for playing in, a kitchenette and more closet space than I had at the apartment. But that mattress! I'm used to feeling like I've been beaten with a sack of doorknobs after sleeping on a hotel mattress, but this one went beyond the pale. I seriously think I'm going to need massage and a lot of inversion and a couple days off to sort myself out. The night was sheer agony. They probably used these same mattresses at Gitmo! So what do I do? I am enthused about many of the choices this hotel is making and would love to see them catch on -- but on the other side of the coin, I wouldn't want to be responsible for someone enduring a night such as the one I just suffered through. I'm starting to wonder if I just shouldn't review at all.

That's reasonable, but what would you do if you were in the States or in an area like Winnipeg, where licensed providers must sign a contract agreeing not to provide sexual services for money? Would you expect them to risk everything just so you wouldn't have to waste your time visiting them and asking in person? The way I see it, as much freedom as we enjoy here in Canada at present, the question of prostitution is still very much unresolved here in North America. I read in the paper yesterday that some people in NY are being charged with "enterprise corruption" and face a possible 25 years in jail for nothing more than running an escort service. Here in Canada, although prostitution is legal, agencies are singled out and made scapegoats for some ambitious politician. Even in municipalities which aren't yet licensed, who knows when their city will decide to raise some cash by preying upon escorts? And many independents tour to the US and to cities in Canada with licensing, so we have to be careful what we say. The way I see it, discretion is still the better part of valour. What I'll do in private and what I'll provide as evidence for some jerk -- present or future -- to use against me are two different things. Life is actually very sweet for most customers in Ottawa and Toronto. As long as you guys stay off the streets, you're pretty much immune from being charged with anything. The same is not true for us, especially those of us sticking our necks out to provide the convenience and affordability of incall to you. This is another grey area -- while it seems to be broadly tolerated, every once in a while, someone gets bit on it. The money we'd make off any one appointment with you wouldn't balance out the toll that a misstep might bring us. I certainly understand your situation, but please try to understand ours. I should add too that there are plenty of customers who seem to get this and don't find it necessary to put us on the spot this way.

I respect that but I think I'd rather see a guy who selects me on the basis of other qualities. This reminds me of a cloud buddy of mine down in the States. She was engaged to be married for a year or so (but both were mature, it wasn't a first marriage for either). Early on, she got a pic of him to keep in her wallet, something she could look at for a quick pick-me-up on her break at work. She offered him a pic of herself, but he put it in a drawer and left it there untouched. Sometime later, though, they invested in a digital camera and immediately he wanted to take a pic of her pussy to put in his wallet. The engagement was OFF! She was not pleased that he would rather look at her smiling pussy than her smiling face! (It was eventually on again and they did get married, but I don't think it's going to stick.) I'm not anti-sheep. It's just something deeply personal to me. Just like some girls don't kiss because they reserve that for their personal lives, I like to keep my sheep and my shop separate.

Something really sexy that happened between me and a friend is something I didn't fully appreciate at the time, but which has haunted my dreams since. We were sitting, kissing, on my bed between one another's legs, our legs wrapped around each other. I dunno. That doesn't really describe it, but it was incredibly sexy. Probably one of the most sexy moments I've ever shared with anyone. I don't think it hurt that I could see us in the mirror behind the bed, my white legs wrapped around his brown body. This guy has, for years, been one of my favourite lovers. He's such a good kisser!

What an excellent find! These stories are all great and keepers. (And way superior to my being woken up by the cat, then later by the dogs, then by the husband, then by the dogs again, then deciding the best policy might be to feed the husband,and make some lemonade, and the plot out my trip for his week and put my phone on. My life is dull! I don't work every day anymore...)

I don't think they're dropping them -- just changing their approach to carrying them. They're going to hire staff to review and approve ads. This isn't a bad thing for any of us at all. I predict that they'll go this way with all their ads eventually.

Wha???? that makes absolutely no sense. You must know that your family doctor gets paid regardless, and so he would have no reason to "blow you off" other than, possibly, subjective discrimination. Did you explain to your family doctor that you were sexually active?? This is incomprehensible. Whoopee-Ding. I myself and I'm sure many other SPs have alerted customers to such problems (hernia, hydrocele, skin cancer, etc.). There's absolutely no reason why your family physician should send you elsewhere for this kind of testing. If he has, then maybe it's time to change family doctor. The family physician is under fire just now in Canada. They're not the most lucrative practice, but they are the most important -- and certainly they should be the first line for all of us. We need to support our family physicians -- and I suppose also, they must support us! -- in order to make our healthcare system work. I would encourage people to seek help from their family doctor first. And if s/he is reluctant to deal with your situation, CHALLENGE THEM! Family physicians and their rapport with us, the general public, is key to public health.

I think that's true with respect to service. You can find excellent and poor service at every level. But when it comes to the amenities, I think there comes a point where "you get what you pay for" does apply. You can't expect someone to be renting high-end digs to receive you at and pouring fine wine into crystal and setting out fresh fruits and Belgian chocolate while still offering you a budget-friendly rate. It's like the difference between a Lexus and a Hyundai. Both will get you where you want to go. If you're the type of person who enjoys all the little luxuries and the status then you might find it worth it to pay for a Lexus. But for many of us, the Hyundai would be just fine.

Why would you want to see that? I ask this sincerely because I really don't understand. I also don't understand when guys send me close-up pics of their genitalia. I can only be interested in the whole package -- so much so that even a full face or full body pic wouldn't influence my feelings, unless I had some insight into a person's heart and intellect also. To me, this is like saying you'd like to see a pic of the fan belt before buying the car. It's just a part.