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Ok granted I get that this post was meant in good fun....but I just want to chime in that I cannot STAND Chuck Norris!! Why? Let me see....anti-gays, anti-visible minorities, anti-immigrantion, and keeps trying to petition the powers that be to make the friggin' Bible mandatory curriculum in PUBLIC schools! Probably the only thing keeping him from being a card carrying member of the KKK is that his actual name is "Carlos" lol. Oh yeah and he tried his damnedest to water down Expendables 2 by trying to force them to make it a PG movie. That alone was enough to make me dislike him :p Additional Comments: p.s. When Chuck Norris goes to bed at night he checks under his bed for Christopher Walken ;)

Here it is! http://www.cerb.ca/vbulletin/group.php?groupid=88 It's an open group so no invite is required. Feel free to join and poke around.

Ditto! Pretty much took the words out of my mouth. Part of "getting what I want" is pleasing the lady as well. So maybe I'm not completely selfish lol. But yeah....for me it's basically a drama-free alternative to dating.

Thanks everyone!! I do have every intention of having a very "memorable" birthday hehe ;)

I just read this article through facebook and was about to share it here. This is just.....fucked. There's really no other word for it.

My suggestion would be to politely broach the subject when first contacting the lady to see what her feelings about it are, and if she is into it, what her limits and restrictions are. It's not something you want to spring on her "mid-game" so to speak and risk offending her. That would send the date spiraling downward real effin' quick lol.

You don't have to be a member to be a lurker. Anyone can come on here and read threads. You have to be a member to post. He admitted he was a long time lurker but a new member.

Well, seeing as beverages, food and condoms are pretty much already covered.....I guess I'll bring my willy, my nuts and my video camera! ;)

Beat me to the punch! Yes, Redseductress is really in a class all her own. And yes, she really does love to perform and it shows! :D Other equally awesome choices (in my humble opinion) are SaraMQ, MalikaFantasy (occasionally travels to Ottawa) and CleoCatra. In my experience you really can't go wrong with any of these 4 ladies and their love of the act is unparalleled! I haven't yet met Emily J, Layah, Alexxxis (aka: xXxAxXx), Rosalie, or Berlin but I have only read good things about their skills. One thing to keep in mind though, when it comes to "best of" type threads....everything is subjective. What is considered "The perfect bj" for one person, might be "the worst bj" for another. But I have yet to read anything negative about these ladies' skills in this department.

My computer froze up on me....so of course I did the logical thing....proceeded to beat the crap out of it. It dies. No wait....the ridiculousness continues. So the next day I stop on my way home from work and buy a replacement laptop. I get home and proceed to unhook my "dead" computer when I realize that it's slightly unplugged in the back. I plug it back in.....thinking the whole time..."oh you bastard you better not turn on!" ....and of course it works fine! I had accidentally unplugged it while I was beating the shit out of it! That's why I thought it had died! I bought a new laptop for NOTHING!

From Dusk Till Anal Million Dollar Anal Once Upon A Time In Anal

Hard Core Anal (Hard Core Logo) - (that one actually works really well lol) Anal Snaps (Ginger Snaps) - OUCH!

I Am Anal (Legend) Anal (Monster) Squad Man On Anal (Fire) X-Men: First Anal (Class) Inglorious Anal (Basterds) Me, Myself and Anal (Irene) Shit....I could go on and on lol

Disregard. I already mentioned this particular acronym lol

Ideally? Hard Core Logo Realistically? Idle Hands :p

I saw "The Gauntlet" a couple days ago. Clint Eastwood flick from the 70's. Pretty standard action movie plot. "Working Girl" is a witness to police conspiracy with the Mob and Clint has to protect her and of course they eventually fall for each other. Predictable plot aside it's actually a really fun movie. But what really impressed me and caught my attention was how the SP was portrayed. It was the most realistic portrayal of a SP that I have yet to see in a movie or on tv. None of the usual stereotypes were there. She was independent. She didn't work on street corners. She owned her own house. She was intelligent, witty and college educated. Not even a hint of any alcohol or drug dependence. She was even dressed pretty conservatively when compared to how prostitutes are usually portrayed on the screen. She was literally portrayed as just a normal, single, independent woman who just happens to be a prostitute. For a movie made back in the 70's...that kind of progressive approach to her character really impressed me. The movie is really ahead of its time in that regard.

I don't think total honesty is really required in this hobby/biz. After seeing some SP's several times sometimes personal stuff will come out after trust has been established....I think that's normal, and perfectly acceptable.....depending on the client and the level of mutual trust that has been built It's happened to me a couple occasions that SP's have voluntarily divulged very personal information to me after a trust has been established, and that's perfectly ok.....actually it's kind of flattering to be trusted that much by an SP. And it ads to the intimacy. But it's not a requirement to a good session. Long story short, total honesty isn't bad per se......but for me personally, it's not necessary. If a lady wants to open up to me I'll be more than happy to hear her out...but it's not something I expect. And depending on the client, being too honest may in fact be a bad thing and could even be potentially dangerous. As for the amount of honesty you want to divulge on cerb, I don't think anything I read could possibly turn me off, unless like Brad says, it reveals the person to be a total schmuck lol. But Emily J raises a very good point that pretty much anybody with an internet connection can read what's on here. Something to consider. Like Cleo said, everything we initially need to know is included in the ads and recommendations, the rest we can find out when we meet her....and by the rest I mean the lady's personality, intelligence, and sexual preferences. At the end of the day that is really all we need to know about her.

I saw Stand Up Guys yesterday. Awesome movie! Surprised it didn't get more attention. Any fan of Christopher Walken and-or Al Pacino should definitely check it out!

cerb handle: Mister Nutz Real name: Lexx Pantsmaster, Esq. Abbreviated real name: Spanky Hart FAIL on all three counts!! Lexx Pantsmaster, Esq. would be ok but it sounds like I ripped off Malika....or I'm her brother.....which would just be all kinds of wrong lol.

What the hell.....you serious? I always thought smelling good when knowing (or even just hoping) that you were gonna get laid was common sense! How hard is it to bathe, put on deodorant, and rinse with mouthwash before a date? I've always just thought it made sense to approach an encounter with a SP as I would any actual date. Would you show up to a date smelling like ass?

For the ladies....I'd have to say British with French-Canadian coming in a close second. So damn sexy! Especially when they're talking dirty! For myself...I totally wish I had a Scottish accent. Those damn Scots! They can say just about anything and get away with it! All they gotta do is say "Hello" and the ladies are practically throwing their panties at them!

True. But without some warning or disclaimer in the title of the thread. Some people may click on it thinking they'll see one thing...and then see something entirely different. I see Cleo's point and I can see how some may take offence with the content. I guess I can see and understand both sides of the coin here.

This is too good to not join in on the fun :D I think EmilyOreo is out busy having every filthy little fucking hole of hers filled by random stranger's cocks, tongues, fingers and probably a few foreign objects too. She thinks she knows how to act like a slut, but the dirty girl hasn't seen anything yet. I think I should have both fucking Emilys over here so I can show them both how dirty little fucking desperate sluts like them are SUPPOSED to behave!

I have a fantasy of doing it outside on my balcony....late at night/early morning when the rest of the building is asleep.

King of New York!