cat

This is something I am keenly aware of. As a woman in her 40's, I don't want to wander around out in the world giving off the impression I forgot my age when I dressed that morning. At the same time, I refuse to wear the shapeless uniform of the maturing woman. I love timeless looks, attire that would "wow" on a 20 year old as well as a 60 year old. Remaining current doesn't mean not being age appropriate, it just means utilizing the age acquired wisdom of making good choices. Do I wear over the knee boots? Absolutely! But not with a mini skirt or hot pants! Do I wear form fitting clothes? Yes! But not in styles or lengths that display skin or are unflattering and I always pair it with a piece that adds a touch of modesty. If I have to wear something that is ultra conservative, I punch it up with killer shoes and knock out accessories to express my inner age. The greatest challenge is my work "look". I love the sexy outfits that accentuate my shape but the spandex club dresses are simply not me anymore so I find myself drawn to great classic outfits and spice them up with a shortened hemline and perhaps lower the neckline or the back for visual impact. Taking a classic business suit and making it a little more sexy is a fun way to add umph to my work wardrobe. Being age appropriate doesn't mean loosing your individuality, it just means recognizing what works and what doesn't... cat

Be full of care when looking at what your insurance company decides to give you. My one experience with a house fire taught me that hiring a Private Insurance Adjuster is definitely worth it. I brought one in and the insurance company's offer of $60 000 was $53 000 short. The settlement ended up being $113 000 and the PIA took 10%. They act as YOUR agent and ensure you get everything you are entitled to. Here is a link to explain... http://www.accidentattorneys.com/resources/accidents/insurance-denials/understanding-what-private-insurance-adjusters-do Good luck and I'm sorry this happened! cat

I give complements regularly and am motivated to so for a multitude of reasons. If I see someone who is looking a little down, I find something about them that is worthy of a complement; it's not hard to find one thing that is praise worthy but it is never based on genetics. I find myself complementing women more than men, I'm not sure why I'm drawn to them more. What I always find amusing is when I get a complement about my looks. I feel that complementing young women on their looks encourages them to remain image focused which is a genuine problem in our society. I have a standard reply that I started using as a teen... "Thank you but I can't take any credit for the fact that I have good genetics and my parents were attractive." I don't see why I should be praised for my eyes, my smile or my figure. I drew the long straw in the genetic lottery and for that I am truly thankful but complementing me on my features isn't really a credit to anything I have done. I will complement on attire, make up, attitude, wit, humor or accomplishment. Those are all things the person has control over, not what they were born with. Unless there is tequila involved, I usually am not mesmerized by appearance. I have met far too many beautiful people with black souls to be fooled into thinking how they look matters. What has been lost in the art of complements is the ability to give praise with genuine reason and intention; not just as a conversation starter. Complementing the obvious is an easy way out and is usually seen as an attempt to open a dialogue which can be creepy. What a man chooses to complement me on gives much insight into who he is. If the only good thing he sees about me is my looks then he obviously is visual and won't be someone I want to start up a conversation with because I am far more tactile and cerebral in my interests. Keep it simple, genuine and look for something a person has put effort into. It will contribute more "feel good" in the long run. It's not that hard... cat

First, I'm sorry or congratulations, whichever applies. The first thing is to make a list of the top 10 divorce firms in the city then go for a consultation WITH ALL OF THEM! That ensures your soon to be ex won't be able to retain them. This is an incredibly valuable move... cat

Altho some may think I am biased, I'd be happy to volunteer for the judging! cat

As you can see from the response to my post, it is not only myself that felt it inappropriate. Perhaps if the initial post had been worded a little differently to indicate the intention was to discuss interactions, my response would have been unnecessary. Alas, the entire first paragraph was focal and I feel comfortable saying the indiscretion displayed was unpalatable for most Cerbians. I simply said publicly what others were thinking privately or discussing amongst themselves which is how I found out about the thread to begin with... cat

Consider this a cautionary tale... I have been declined positions pouring coffee, answering phones and cleaning houses in the not so distant past because I was outed as a "former" sex worker which popped up when my government name was googled. I've been told I'm "unemployable" and can't even volunteer my time with any reputable charities that aren't sex work related. One never knows what the future will bring and the stigma will be there whether your life is going well or not. If a provider ends up in front of a judge, potential employer or landlord who know their history or their present; it's a high probability that it isn't going to end well. The real threat isn't from the casual cruiser of the internet recognizing us on the street but from those closest to us handing over the damaging links to hurt us. The ex husbands, boyfriends, best friends, roomies and less than loved family members are the most dangerous. My Canadian notoriety happened because my FATHER outed my decade old history to the Globe and Mail. Please, ladies who are considering showing their faces; don't make the decision lightly. It can never be undone... cat

Let me clarify then. This woman obviously has allowed you into her private life and it is now being written about in a public forum with a PM system. I view a post like this with all of it's implications akin to a quilting bee, rumour mill or a gossip circle. Even if it is true, it is none of our business and without her direct consent should not be a topic of conversation on a business internet forum. When a provider allows a client insight into her personal life it is a given that it is a privilege and therefore the information is not to be disclosed to the general public unless she herself has posted about it previously. Just because one person is privy to private information doesn't mean the community is in need of knowing. I do realize that you didn't give out information that would identify the SP to us but I'm sure you have received (or will) PMs asking who he speaks about. We never know who will say what to whom which is why we guard and protect all that is precious to us from clients. Just don't go there. She has obviously fallen into difficult times, it needn't become the topic of the week. Discretion is a verb and it goes both ways... cat

And gentlemen wonder why SPs lock down their personal lives or just outright lie about their situations... cat

It's important to clarify if it's an MFM or MMF that appeals to you. There are many of us who enjoy both, some who will provide MFM only... cat

I know people that will negotiate all services. What I find amusing is they feel that they got a "deal" to begin with and then complain when they didn't get all that they wanted or needed. Negotiating multi-hour rates like a court case or a custom built house is one thing, taking 5-10% off $100 000 still leaves a viable cash flow and small excess can be trimmed where needed to accommodate the discount. Asking me to take a 40% pay cut on my fee that has not increased in 9 years for a luxury service is simply arrogant and insulting. Pussy is not a poor mans hobby and if a man needs a discount because he genuinely doesn't have it in his pocket then he should realize that he genuinely CAN'T AFFORD to be hobbying and needs to get his financial house in order... cat

I appreciate this discussion, reco's are something I have always had an issue with as is reflected in my brief reco thread. Initially, I had personal reasons for asking guests not to write them and now that time has passed, I'm still thankful that it's an exceedingly short thread. Many, many guests over the years have commented that it was instrumental in them choosing to see me. Given I've been here as long as I have it's obvious to them that I'm a reputable provider, they don't need 300 other mens experiences to reassure them they are making a good choice. Not having intimate details out there seems to be more palatable for the type of guest that I seek as well as for myself. My long term guests genuinely don't want to read about my escapades just as I don't want everyone on the internet to be able to read such intimacies if the fancy strikes. I'm probably not as busy as I could be but I prefer that my guests know that to me, discretion is a verb and I take it seriously. I would rather keep a guest happy and coming back for more than have to see new clients on a regular basis. Nat, to me this gentlemans reaction would indicate to me that he could very well be worth keeping because he sees you as more than just the next Baskin-Robbins flavour of the month. Men like that make our lives so much easier. I truly appreciate that the internet has given us the opportunity to accurately portray who we are and protect guests from less than ethical providers but to have pages upon pages of recos that read like Penthouse forum letters is imo unnecessary. Quality guests can read between the lines... cat

... until the day arrives that someone is negotiating percentage points for interest on a loan to lay along side me in my bed I will not negotiate my consideration. As long as my service costs less than a day at a golf tournament, it isn't up for discussion. I am a negotiator, anyone who knows me will attest that I can be embarrassing to go shopping with. I will negotiate any PRODUCT price and have done so in stores from Walmart to Holt Renfrew but I don't negotiate with my lawyer, my mechanic, my general contractor, my accountant, my hairdresser, my nail shop or my RMT. These are MY service providers and I value the work they do because it is quality and I trust them to give me their best every time I walk thru the door. All I ask is that I'm treated with the same respect when I give my best as I do each and every time a guest walks thru my door... cat

Is it too intimate? In some ways, yes it is... For the first 15 years of my career, no kissing or daty was industry wide S.O.P. These were services that were offered only to very trusted regulars at a girls discretion. I couldn't wait to get home and kiss my husband after a long nights work. The kisses were the ignition to me wanting him. It wasn't until I arrived in Canada that I was faced with the fact that clients expect it on the first visit. I loved to kiss but it was a challenge for me because kissing is the most intimate act I participate in and adding it to daily menu desensitized me to it and it has come with a cost in my personal sex life. I can no longer achieve a deeper level of intimacy and connection with personal play partners as I used to and it makes it far less appealing to play simply for fun. If my lips are engaged, I'm all in because I can't separate my kisses from my kitty. This was one of the main reasons for the break down of my marriage altho I didn't recognize it at the time. I genuinely enjoy my work, I can orgasm easily when kissed properly and I love skin but given that guests want access to every part of me, I seldom have any needs left for personal lovers to tend to. It's a win for guests as they get an authentic experience but a loss for me because I have no interest in a sexual relationship on a personal level. Even men who I have amazing connections with on an emotional level never get to first base because my itches have been scratched. Men don't want to cuddle and hang out long term if there's no sugar on the horizon so I don't even bother to try and date. If a provider feels kissing is too intimate, then respect that. She knows what works for her. I wasn't less gratified in my work when I didn't kiss or allow oral, I still loved providing the service and my ensuring my guests left satisfied. They just weren't entitled to every little bit of me for less than a monthly car payment. I didn't realize when I tried to stay competitive that it would come with such an expensive personal pricetag... cat

I have one and only one genuine fear. My father. I didn't actually think I would survive to see 18 and when I was allowed to leave my family house, I knew I was walking away from the most dangerous situation I would ever be in. There are things I'm not fond of but they don't cause me angst. My stomach flips with heights that I'm unsecured upon but I still mastered trapeze and love standing on the edge of the Grand Canyon. I'm not fond of swimming in a deep body of water with seaweed tangling in my feet but I won't hesitate to dive off the boat to cool off. I don't like the look of swarms of anything or the holes in sponges but they don't panic me. I have no fear of what follows this life and have experienced holding someone when they die. Nothing I have ever experienced in my work or adult personal life comes anywhere near the genuine terror I experience from even seeing a picture of my father. The way I see it, if I survived him, there is nothing and no one out there big enough or mean enough to cause me any genuine harm and when you have no fear, no one even tries to fuck with you imo. Funny thing tho. One of my best friends is a doppleganger for my dad. They could be brothers and yet I adore this man. I think what attracted me to him to begin with was that he looked like my dad but his energy was so warm and genuine that I was just drawn in. 5 years later, we are very close and I often wonder if somewhere in our family tree we share a gene string or two. My father nicknamed me Cat. He told everyone I had nine lives and he was working his way thru them but had lost count of how many I had left. I guess I got out before he used up all nine... cat

I think that giving other ladies a heads up is a good idea and it is done. It isn't a bad date listing per say but a "take this booking with caution" for the girls that have to pay per use on the rental of their space whether they do the appointment or not. Some girls share space, others rent hotel rooms etc and if they know there is a chance he may flake, she may prefer to book him on a day when she has another solid appointment as well. It will also allow her to make an informed decision in the event she has 2 requests for the same time and one is potential NC/NS. Ladies that have a fixed incall over head can decide if they actually have the time to waste before booking the appointment. Many of us will take the chance if we don't have something else more promising to do but there are days that a WOT can completely screw up our schedule AND our needed income stream for the week so if we have knowledge that he's a bit flaky we can make an informed decision. Short of him laying in intensive care or the morgue, there is no reason that someone couldn't contact the provider in the 12 hours following a NS except a blatant lack of respect for our time... cat

I love being unplugged so losing the internet and smartphone wouldn't be a problem. What I can't live without are... Elevators - I hate stairs and can't imagine carrying groceries up to my kitchen. Keurig - For the first time in my life, I have drinkable coffee that I MADE! Dishwasher - My kitchen would never be clean iPod - I love the selection and ease. Otherwise I listen to the same thing over and over Magic Bullet - Couldn't imagine a morning without a smoothie or endless margaritas. cat

My government name has never been my "real" name, I've been trying to change it since I was 6. I've never seen another SP use it but I see my daughters names used and it always makes my heart skip a beat. When someone calls me by my gov't name my stomach sinks because it means they either have a warrant and handcuffs with my name on them or they want money that I probably don't have. My doctor calls me Catherine and my children introduce me as Cat. Anything to do with my gov't name is stressfull, grown up stuff that makes my head hurt. I've never had a situation that involved my "real" name that wasn't painful in some way and anyone who choses to use it is corrected immediately and if they continue to use it they are eliminated from my life... cat

There are a couple of factors here that need to be addressed. I've been thru this dozens of time with girls and the consistent theme every time with every family/loved one is exactly the same each and every time. It's a betrayal of trust. They don't have to like what she's doing but they have to be able to TRUST THAT SHE WILL TELL THEM THE TRUTH! Being honest with them may very well have long term ramifications but most of the time the loved ones will come around to a degree once they see she is safe and not on a self destructive path. They may never approve or support her decision but at least the basic trust hasn't been diminished. Once they suspect, the game is up. If she doesn't come clean, she is risking permanent damage to a foundational relationship. As for your part in it, you need to remove yourself from the situation. It's going to bite you in the ass no matter what happens. Her parents will never trust you again if you deflect, they will be angry you didn't tell them sooner if you spill. This is on her and she needs to fix this. If she is mature enough to decide to become a sex worker then she needs to own it and handle herself like a grown up and honor the people who love her enough to tell them the truth and remove you from the equation... cat

I have guests... cat

In my early 20's, a very wise man taught me the proper response to unsolicited input was "Your opinion of me is none of my business" and I have lived by it ever since and even when I don't say it out loud, I think it loud and clear. If I were a tattoo lover, it would be displayed in bold letters across my shoulders as it has served me well beyond my expectations. From this mantra flowed a new awareness of how I formed opinions of others that I challenge myself with to this day. I work daily at remembering that other peoples actions are not necessarily taken with direct thought as to how they affect me and often it isn't personal but is simply the suchness of life and making a judgement about it on my part is unnecessary. I explain often to people that I believe the brain is an organ designed to do a job. It thinks, like a heart pumps blood or lungs extract oxygen and to always be aware that your thoughts are not who you are. Our brains are spectacular computers that if properly controlled can change our worlds in an instant but most people choose to believe that their thoughts are a tangible reality when in fact thoughts are simply energy flowing thru well developed circuits and we need to remember that judgements, opinions and beliefs are all an illusion and transient by nature because more often than not they were developed by our brain with only self in mind and without awareness or direction. By not defining ourselves or others we allow the opportunity for authentic interaction to take place and everyone benefits from it. When I ask someone "Tell me about yourself, who are you?", it is telling to me when they answer with content answers like their age, job, where they live or whatever it is they believe makes them who they are. I always know I've found a true kindred spirit when they respond with answers that are not content based and they see that who we are is really unknowable as it's an ever evolving process... cat p.s. These words are babbling before coffee. Next time I'll have the coffee first!

I did! I have a delightful minion who comes and wakes me up every morning and sometimes I can talk him into walking the dog and bringing coffee but not this morning! Given his job is to make sure I am up and moving, I can't fault him but it would have been amazing to lay there for a couple of hours with coffee and my kindle. Maybe when I'm in Kingston, I'll bring you coffee and we can snuggle up, listen to the birds and... kisses, cat

Thank you Lee! It's fixed! I'll add a third beer to the table and I'll make sure you get home safe! ;) cat

I still can't see who thank'd who or whom nominated unless it's in the below box (what ever it's called). Just sos ya know... cat

My sides are hurting from laughing so hard! Thank you guys for this, I needed it! cat