cat

Reread my words carefully Miss Christy, there was no shot taken at you. I was simply showing you how different perception filters can take a situation and change ones feelings about it without the facts themselves being altered. The word "choose" is the key. I wrote "if I choose to read them thru a jade hued filter", I didn't say I made that choice, you assumed I did. And those who know me, know that I always give the benefit of the doubt when it comes to intention. You have jumped to conclusions and presumed to understand the meaning of my words before reading EXACTLY what I wrote. I meant every word, including the "thank you", you made the choice to read my words thru a jaded filter. I will admit that I wrote that paragraph as I did because I knew you would interpret it the way you did and I would be able to point out again that presumption and assumption are dangerous when it comes to interpreting intention and thought without personally knowing the person behind the situation. As for real life situations, I have lived thru more genuinely life threatening situations than I care to count. I'm not a religious person but I am deeply spiritual and one of my core beliefs is non judgement. I have stood my ground for what I believe to be right but I have learned not to see the other person/people as "bad" or turn them into enemies but to see them as human. There is no us vs. them, we are all flesh and blood. They are simply unaware and until they are ready, I realize that I cannot force awareness nor can I force responsibility. It must always come from within. I spent a little more than 2 years sitting in orange surrounded by women who are considered the bottom feeders of society. 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Once the bravado had faded, their humanity appeared and not once did I see someone without genuine regret on some level about the things in their lives that they had done. Not one of them wanted to have the life they did, they wanted better but it really was beyond their reach or their capabilities. They fought a battle everyday that I can't imagine fighting for a lifetime. Their humanity didn't appear miraculously out of nowhere because they were in jail, it was always there but they were so accustomed to hiding it that they had forgotten it was there. I did cross paths with a couple of sociopaths and a psychopath but they are simply hardwired wrong and not the norm in my opinion. I'm genuinely sorry you felt thrown under the bus during this lively discussion. Again, it boils down to perception and filters. Actions have no intrinsic value until we chose one to place on it. Your position is neither right or wrong, it simply is and that's good with me... cat

Thank you for your kind words. If I read them thru my natural filter, they seem complimentary and genuine. If I choose to read them thru a jade hued filter where people are dishonest and untrustworthy, they would seem like smoke being blown up my ass which is a fetish I charge a substantial extra fee for. Those who know me will know which filter I truly use. That said... I do not see how anyone can know what is in another's heart and mind therefore I cannot presume I'm in a position to judge them. Perhaps if it was a situation I had knowledge of all the details of the abuse, I may feel differently but having been painted several times in my life with a wide paintbrush I have learned that I didn't like it done to me, I won't do it someone else. You must personally harm me before I come out swinging, I won't take shots at people I don't know or assume I know the right thing for them to do. That's why we have legislation. It isn't perfect but it's better than the alternative. I have yet to meet a person breathing that hasn't encountered strife, abuse or difficulties. No life is without it on this planet... cat

I don't mind you asking... I didn't ask because I couldn't ask. I was deported without identification thus a non entity. I wasn't walking into any government office in the event they took me back into custody because I couldn't prove who I was. Many of the issues I had in the US were fabricated so I wasn't going to take any chances here. I didn't have an address to have my birth certificate mailed to so it took close to a year before I was legitimized. I drove my car without a drivers license, thank goodness I was never stopped. Today I realize I would not have asked for help because I was traumatized when I returned. I was afraid of all forms of government and I have always struggled with asking for help from anyone. Not that I have ever trusted government but after a 4 year tussle with the US Feds, I still have physical reactions when I have to deal with any gov't official. 8 months on the streets isn't very long and it was a delicious form of freedom after what I had been thru. I'll take cold and hungry on the street over cold and hungry in a 4 by 8 any day... cat

When my children were small and I had custody of 6 children under the age of 8, my husband and I made a combined income of $21 600 annually. I don't know if we qualified for welfare as it never occured to me to ask for it. Fast forward a decade and I was deported to Canada with nothing but a box of books, a track suit with runners, $23 and toothbrush. I lived on the street for about 2 months then got my car from the US and lived in it for 6 months. This time I considered asking for help but decided against it. I did what I had to do to put a roof over my head and move on. During my 8 months I met a variety of people that to this day I am in awe of. Before I had my car, the kids on the streets of Ottawa watched my back. They gave me a coat, fed me at times and sometimes offered me sanctuary with them at night when I had no where else to go. This was where I learned about homeless dogs. Once I had my car, I had somewhere to sleep but often had to choose between gas and food. People with almost nothing shared what they had with me. I hung out in the St.Laurent/Donald St area and I was welcomed to eat with people who obviously were on assistance by what they put on the table. I made friends and I was amazed at their willingness to help me when they had so little. I still keep in touch with some of these people, the ones who have hung on to my phone number and they know if they ever need me, I'm there. Are there people who milk the system? Perhaps but I will not stand in judgment as I know looks are deceiving. People meet me all the time and assume I am well set. Little do they know that the label clothing is all from thrift stores and my entire apartment was furnished with used everything. I have times when I struggle to cover the basics and the rest of the time, I make ends meet. My life isn't easy even tho many people think so. Until I have the power to walk in someone elses shoes, I will not be so grand as to think I know or understand their struggles and I will not assume someone is a parasite until I have complete information to make that kind of decision. It's easy to sit in front of our computers and discuss with distain those that need the safety nets we as a country have chosen to provide. It's harder to try to understand or even show trace empathy for those need help. No system is perfect but I'm glad we have what we do... cat

It's something I've never understood and I've learned that asking "Why do people ________?" questions is a waste of my time and energy. I leave answering the unanswerable for those who must have a better understanding than I about the workings of the human mind. The only thing I allow myself to get frustrated about is when I DROP THE BALL. It's the only thing I truly have control over. As for the homeless owning dogs, I feel very differently than Emily. The most balanced and stable dogs I've ever met belonged to the homeless. Dogs don't need fancy coats or fancy food. They are not status symbols or a child. They need a pack, they need to move, they need to know what their leader expects of them and they need to know their leader will provide. Hunger isn't a prevailing concern for dogs, instinctively they need to be hungry for most of the day. I've seen homeless people feed their dogs before they eat which is a level of committment that most pet owners don't have. They don't need a consistently warm environment, they are designed to live outside. They don't need a sterile environment, they have an admirable immunity built in. They don't need store bought toys unless they are bored which homeless dogs never are. Compared to the city dog owners I have met, I would give a dog to a homeless person before the typical pet owner, myself included... cat

I told you I don't know him, now stop ripping my flowers out of my garden. He was never here, please let go of my hair. I don't know your husband, boyfriend, SO now put the knife down... cat

I'm wondering if you actually turn over the emails you have found? This would mean that private information from a provider (her location etc) will be in the hands of non industry female and could result in harrassment, eviction or worse. Depending on the intentions of the woman, this could have dire unintended consequences for an email only provider like myself or my sisters in our industry. I have been on the receiving end of angry wife phone calls and even visits by them to my incall. I would not wish it on anyone. Our industry carries unnecessary stigma and both provider and hobbyists alike bear the brunt of the negativity. If it were me, I would do everything in my power to protect the other potential victims by eliminating information that would give this woman the power to cause serious harm to them. If that was unavoidable, I would not forward any of this man's hobbying to her. I would eliminate this aspect from the report. I would simply look at it as an anonymous good deed, collect my money and move on. The woman who has hired you obviously is not concerned with ethics or she would have been sitting in front of you with his wife as she hired you or would not have contacted you at all. Her actions are invasively disrespectful to her sister and her sisters marriage. Declining the case would simply allow her to take it to another investigator that would give her the information and perhaps put a provider in harms way. We count on the hobbyist to be discreet and protect our information by not keeping it for prying eyes to find and this man obviously failed to do so. As a hobbyist, you have an opportunity to correct his mistake. Perhaps this is an old school mentality but I was taught that we protect our own, first and foremost. Society as a whole does not respect or protect us. It is up to us to ensure that those of us in our community are kept safe to the best of our ability and when the opportunity arises, we should not violate an unwritten code... cat

Too late! :) I'm sorry, I couldn't help myself. cat

It is indeed a fetish and there are those that seek it out. Years ago I had a client that was a master at making girls expel. It made me nuts because the entire session was just a long series of queefs and I would giggle throughout it which kills the mood for me. I finally offloaded him to an agency because having my uterus filled with air once a week was a little much and my instinct said it wasn't healthy. I'm not sure if that's a medical fact but when my little voice says something I listen; even if the medical community doesn't back her up. I don't worry about it happening as it is unavoidable in some positions and if a playmate gets offended if I do it, then he's in the wrong place with the wrong person! I look at queefs like I do burps, gas and hiccups. They happen to everyone at some point and can be a catalyst for a good giggle break. If you can't laugh at these things, then you are way too serious to play at my house... cat

It all depends on the mood I'm in. My personal decorating style is turn of the century exotic Victorian, I love the art deco of the 30's as is reflected in my advertising with their clean, bold lines and often my personal dress with hats and accessories. It feels so civilized. There are times where I will channel the Hollywood glamour of the 40's with the formal elegance of satin and pearls. Then there are times I feel like a Pink Lady and wear skin tight pencil skirts with sweaters and heels. I do the 60's-70's Boho look well when I'm feeling a little constricted and need to connect with my inner tree hugging, flower child but I cannot do the 80's. It was a horrendous time for fashion, attitude and music. When I get in mood, I will delve online in an era just to clear my head and I will fall in love with it all over again. I did this thru books as a child and now in our golden time, it's so much easier to explore. If I had a choice to go back and live an era tho, it would be when North America was being settled. Before governments had their hands in complicating everything and one didn't need a degree to get a job. A time when things moved slower and weren't so complex. A person could build a life with just common sense, hard work, sweat and tears... cat

This all depends on the provider. Obviously the ladies that advertise half hour rates are open to the time frame. I for one, haven't decided if I want to see you in the first 15 minutes you are here. I haven't collected my fee and we are getting to know each other. I only offer 2 hour appointments because chemistry is about the exchange of energy, not just the sexual lava boiling but the essence of my guests. I want to want them the way they want me before we get naked because if I'm not going to enjoy the experience, I'd rather not participate. At my age, I'm not wasting 30 minutes on drive thru sex with someone I don't connect with, life is too short. Once I know a client I can accommodate time restrictions with packages that are more than reasonable but that takes time and trust. If I find the shorter sessions aren't working for me then I will nix arrangement. I do have a 1 hour introduction package but very few take advantage of, most book for 2 hours out of the gate. I find even the hour is a little short for me. So the best thing to do is look at the providers advertising, it will tell you if booking for a half hour is appropriate and if she doesn't advertise a rate for that time frame; don't ask because you will most likely receive a gentle decline for the appointment. It isn't personal, it is just a personal choice on how a woman likes to do business... cat

Is it worth it? Now there is worthy topic, not the mindless chit chat that normally comes up! Unfortunately, we providers have our hands tied when it comes to discussing this on public boards as it erodes the fantasy that we sell to make a living. A smart provider realizes that honest answers to this question could be professional suicide so we tow the expected party line of us all being insatiable nymphos that just can't get enough. There is no blanket answer that will cover every provider, each woman would have to weigh in with her perspective individually and we are a private bunch. TMI will kill the mood, it's like a married couple discussing credit card debt before going bed. This industry is the extreme on both the good and the bad. Is it worth it financially? For me, I would say that I make it "worth it" because I am unemployable in any other field that would allow me to support my family. Providers are an amazingly resilient bunch and we will always find a way where there isn't one. This can be very gratifying trade but the financial rewards for providers isn't anywhere near what is needed to ensure long term financial stability. The bad is unacceptable in polite conversation and best kept amongst ourselves or else we come across as complaining bitches which certainly doesn't help put food on the table. Would I recommend anyone get started in it? No, not if there were any other options because it takes a rare and special breed to survive and thrive in this trade and those that are not forged of the right steel end up rotting from the inside out and crumble eventually. While you may have real questions that burn for answers, remember that every word we write on here is read by clients and potential clients. CERB is primarily an advertising medium, we sell a service that is convenient fantasy and clients read our posts to decide if we are someone they would like to spend their hard earned money with. Offering up honest answers about certain subjects is often not a good business move as it will not change the status quo and could potentially harm our income... cat

Darling mister_crufty, You are apology is appreciated, it shows character. The ladies were bang on clear in their answers and as I read your initial post before anyone responded; I knew how it was going to roll out. You are not the first newbie to make this mistake and you certainly won't be the last. Those of us who have been around awhile have watched the newbie phenomena before and we'll see it again. We understand it's easy to get excited (especially when pretty girls are involved) and want to learn all that you can when the wheels in your mind are spinning. CERB has a wealth of information just waiting to be soaked up and it's more important for newbies to read in the beginning than it is to ask questions. I haven't seen a new industry related thread topic in years; I would be genuinely surprised if one came up. Every appropriate topic has been discussed at length at some point and is in the archives here somewhere. Newbies would be wise to spend a couple of months perusing and watching a boards dynamic before they decide to start multiple threads asking questions. I will answer your initial question because it consistently urks me when I read posts about providers "rolling in the dough, living the high life". I average $19/hr after expenses/before taxes per week. In the last 7 years I can count on one hand the number of weeks I've seen anywhere close to 10 guests in a 7 day work week and they all fell into a time when I wasn't located here in Ottawa and would return once a month for a visit. There are far to many variables in each providers life to come up with a "general" overview of the economics of our industry. I'm always amazed when I sit down with a man and he tells me what he thinks I make, his figures are so far away from my reality that I laugh out loud. I have yet to meet a person that has any real clue unless they have been a sex provider of some sort. The key here is not take the reactions in this thread personally. Understand that often people will give you an answer to a question that you don't expect and the lesson you learn from their answer is far more valuable than if they had given you the type of answers you were seeking... cat

Over the years, I have worked in every imaginable incall space from a sole mattress on the floor with a towel for linen to the space I play in now. Until I came to Canada, all non-hotel spaces were an embarrassment for me to even be in as they were operated by my agency and they didn't understand the need for details outside of the acts that took place there. Like Julie, I'm sensitive to the energies of the spaces I occupy and I work exceedingly hard to make my play space as decadent as humanly possible. Life is too short and my time to in this world to valuable to waste it in working spaces that don't contribute to my personal work satisfaction level. It's the little things that make the experience extraordinary and my goal is to have every guest walk out the door thinking "Wow, she thought of EVERYTHING, that was amazing!" My insanely comfy couch that is the secret keeper of legend and allows me to serve indulgences and delicacies is as integral a part of the experience I offer as the condoms in the drawer. 1000 count sheets on the 4 poster, pillow top bed, the heated towels within reach for the afterglow as well as the shower afterwards, toiletry bags with the clients name on it and his favorite items within and delicate candles warmly compliment the carefully chosen art on my walls and the multitude of mirrors that we watch the fun we have in are everywhere. All of this allows me to make our playtime the stuff of fantasy because it feeds and nourishes MY soul. It's not decorated to everyones tastes, it is distinctly reflective of me and while I know I have clients that don't care, my space is actually more for me than them. It allows me to do my job in an environment that I love which makes me a decidedly happier lover. The devil is in the details... cat

I have 2 that do but both are long time vets of MA so they are well trained! It's the most delicious feeling... cat

This afternoon I visited with a guest and before he left he booked a quickie for tomorrow at lunch...for an hour. Whether he needs the full hour tomorrow? Who knows, the 4 hours this afternoon with him was time well spent and thoroughly enjoyed! An quickie for me is an hour, 15 minutes is like brushing my teeth... cat

I receive PMs from board members saying hi but most of them introduce themselves and let me know they aren't looking to pursue an appointment, they just wanted to say hello. I never have an issue with that. The ones that say "hi" or "hello" only are a mystery because I don't know if you want to open a dialogue on business or if it's a friendly hello. The easiest way to clarify is to introduce yourself and say why you are contacting me, then I know if I need to send you an introduction or just say hi back. It's important to remember this is our livelyhood and while we are a very friendly bunch, time is of the essence and sorting thru the waste of times to find the ones that are going to book an appointment is time consuming and frustrating if we have to painfully extract the nature of the communication. We don't mind a nice "hello" or "hi" if its couched with the reason behind it... cat

If you find somebody good, let me know and we'll see if he'll give us a group discount. I have a list... ;) cat

For me, it depends on my partners approach. Rough, aggressive hands and behavior will immediate be stopped and my bottom will become off limits. Playful, sensual teasing attention will extend mileage and is thoroughly enjoyed! Even if I am asked up front about services by a new client, I am always hesitant to say yes because if they arrive with the wrong attitude it isn't going to happen. That goes for all services negotiated in advance when meeting an SP for the first time, not just ass play. Bite my clit and you'll never see my cookie up close and personal again, twist my nipples till they hurt without prior approval and you will get smacked, pull my hair, leave your hand imprint on my body anywhere without approval or fuck me so hard that I can't walk straight for a week and you'll be asked to leave and will never be invited back. But if you are someone I know and have developed a trust with, all these activities can be great fun. I have guests that I have no fear with because they have proven themselves to be trustworthy. The key is trust. Once you have it you may be pleasantly surprised at how much fun you can have with some of us... cat

I love the sound of someone breathing while they sleep and the silence that surrounds it. I love the sound of children playing outside. I love the sound of running in leave and thru dried grassy fields. I love the squeals, shrieks and giggles from tickling a baby... cat

I LOVE DRIVE INS!!! I keep hoping they'll come back in style... cat

We obviously haven't met! Couch time foreplay is one of my favorite parts of a visit. When that goes well, the rest of the playdate is fireworks.. cat

Meat also falls into this category I think... cat

You ask a worthy question zorobaby. These are the factors and experience that influence my decision when deciding to see a younger than 40 guest... 1. Unrealistic expectations of what the session will entail. Porn has skewed manys perceptions as to what is genuine sex and what is done strictly to feed a visual desire. For the younger set it seems to be about how many sog's they are going to get or they have a list of activities that need to be completed in order for them to feel they got their moneys worth. For me this approach is exhausting in the playroom, both mentally and physically and when they leave I often reflect that the money wasn't worth the energy spent for me. This trait is not exclusive to younger clients, just more prevalent. 2. Contact. Many younger men contact us with little to no respect shown for us as people. One line text and emails are an instant red flag as are the phone calls that start with "How much for a blow job?" without even introducing yourself. The civil niceties are seldom present and they do not have the awareness or understanding of what it takes to be a sex worker and that we are living, breathing human beings with feelings that need to be treated as such the same as everyone else. Their inherent attitudes of youth often mislable us as disposable or less than and that is unacceptable to us. 3. Money. If I had a nickle for every time I've heard "Is your pussy made of gold?" from a not yet grown man cub, I'd be rich. My prices aren't and never have been in the upper price range of this industry. I provide outstanding service and take pride and care in ensuring my guests are cared for above and beyond the industry norm but younger men don't understand the cost of doing business for us. Indulging in women is like any other hobby, it takes money and the younger they are the less saved pennies they have to spend on the intangibles unlike their older counterparts. All that said, I have some younger guests on my dance card who I absolutely adore. They are mature beyond their years and we are a good fit so it works. They contacted me with well articulated emails and engaged in an exchange with me that showed they were indeed the kind of client I enjoy. At that point, the age became a non issue. The younger providers often have personal reasons for staying away from their peers and that should be respected but most providers will make an exception if you approach them with the right attitude... cat

Age is only a factor if you make it one in this industry. What is important is to find a provider that appeals to you on more than just a physical level. There are some very mature young ladies on here that take their work seriously and treat their clients with the same respect they receive. At your age, you already realize that great sex takes more than just a beautiful body, it takes passion, spirit and the intelligence to ensure all your needs are met. You've certainly come to the right place, just do your research and have fun... cat