cat

In larger cities online advertising is a must, but smaller towns respond to print ads very well. It depends where you are. I have found that print ads bring in a different type of guest. I only advertise in the Sun when my brains have left for an extended holiday but occasionally advertise in the local paper. Responses from there bring guests who are not looking to try every flavor of ice cream, just one they like and will indulge in whenever they want ice cream. It depends on your area and whats available to you. Experiment with your advertising, but track where your responses come from and the results will tell you where to invest your advertising dollar. Multiple venues are your best bet. cat

"How do you do it?" It's the question I have been asked most often about my work. People so often get caught up in the reality they see in front of them. Everything around us seems real, but in reality is truly an illusion. A persons physical body is not an accurate indication of who they are, it is simply the matter that houses the essence. We all have the same biological makeup, but some are more visually appealing than others. Does ones external appearance change the spirit inside? No, it doesn't. I see every person as a sexual being and I know intimacy is one of life's most neglected needs and is an integral part of maintaining personal wellness. I provide a service to people who are not having their needs met, and how they look on the outside is not a factor in choosing my guests. It is easy for me to enjoy someone who doesn't fit the society's current ideal because it's not the outside I'm interested in, its the inside. I know this sounds very Pollyanna, but it is true for me. Its the essence of people that hook me, not the appearances. I know better than to judge a book by the cover... cat

I enjoyed your disclaimer mypleasure. I speak only for myself, but I enjoy a receiving from a guest if he approaches it properly. Properly for me means that he doesn't focus on my clitoris, but pays attention to the other parts of my cookie. The clitoris is a nerve center and it needs blood flow to achieve stimulation. Over stimulate and it just gets painful. I am not a 0-100 in 60 kinda girl. I like to warm up the engine, slide into the ride and then relish every curve in the road. I know you men don't like to but ASK FOR DIRECTIONS!!!!!!! Every woman is different and unless you know her body, you need to ask and then LISTEN!!!!!!!! And NO TEETH!!!!!! Biting or chewing is only appropriate if she asks you to do it. As for the psychobabble questions, every girl is different. You will have to ask each of us as you meet us! cat

Darling Alannah, Every situation needs to be looked at individually, don't paint them all with the same brush. You have to be able to roll with these situations and not let the frustration get you. I always ask myself "will this change my life a year from now?". If it isn't going to change the world then its not worth worrying about. Here is my take on your questions for what its worth. No Shows: If they are confirmed and don't show by all means give a call and ask "Is everything ok?". They could be lost, looking for parking or tied up in traffic. If they don't answer, I leave a message and put them in my watch file. If they do not contact me and explain what happened then they go in my DNS file. Cancellation fees are next to impossible to collect and having a list sitting there with "money owed" will just attract negative energy in my opinion. These are not men you want to see, just post them on the No Shows lists to warn other SPs. Anything that starts out badly doesn't usually improve. Do yourself a favor and do not give grace, just walk away and forget it. You have more important things to focus on. Short Notice Cancellations: It depends if they are regulars or not. New clients get one cancellation with me. Regulars have a little more leeway and they usually will let you know it might be iffy. I do not charge for this as I feel we have to accept that life happens and this is part of the business. Do not let anyone make a habit of it. I will take a regular off the invitation list if he cancels twice on short notice. Appointment Reschedules: Again, Life Happens so try and work with them. If a client does this repeatedly he had better be a good tipper. On your side: Don't cancel or reschedule unless your having a finger reattached or a similar emergency. It will do more damage to your reputation than you can ever imagine. Do not cancel with less than 24hrs notice unless it is life or death. If you have to reschedule or cancel, then offer to make it up to them and follow your promise thru to the "T". If you are reliable and trustworthy, you will have no problem building your business. cat

I am "out" to everyone but the people in my SOs world. That coming out is on the horizon, because I can't do it any longer. If it costs me my relationship so be it. My parents rejected me outright and haven't spoken to me about 9 years. They took my children and testified against me before a federal grand jury. And that was all the fallout. Everyone else I have encountered, family, friends and acquaintances have been good about it. Lots of questions but no judgment to my face and I really don't care what they say behind my back. I agree with Erin, until we SPs stop the shame by standing tall with our heads held high we will continue to be forced to live in the shadows of society. I for one, have had a belly full of keeping my own secrets in the past and all it does is force me to live inauthentically. That is unacceptable to me on every level. "Harm none, and do what ye may" cat

I agree with wnrsntzl, if this is true the lady directly involved needs to go to the police. Then the behavior in question could be looked at by someone with the authority to do something about it. It can't be rectified on CERB or by CERB and it's members. I trust MOD, he knows what he's doing. cat

No need to feel sorry for me Soleil, this does not reflect my personal situation. If you read my quote I say "most" and if you look at the turnover of SPs in this industry you would agree most women are not cut out for this line of work. Those that know how "to protect and cherish their souls" prosper and stay in it. I agree, if it causes one pain then it probably isn't the line of work to be in. In my experience, 90% of SPs choose this work to tide them over and don't make this a lifetime career. These are the SPs I'm referring to. I have been in this industry for 25 years and my soul soars, but 25 years ago I had a learning curve to learn how to protect it. That said, I still don't see anything wrong with an SP choosing to utilize a menu as long as it is advertised up front. There is usually someone behind her who is collecting her $$$ and telling her how to structure her pricing. Upselling in the heat of the moment is not acceptable. It is simply a choice, as it is a guests choice to choose not to see an SP because of this option. cat

So let me get this straight...I should not charge more if I am risking being exposed to STDs that are incurable? I'm sorry but that's nonsense! A woman who contracts herpes from a bbbj has it for life and I think she should be able to charge more for taking that risk. Excuse my language coming but what if it were you or your sister or your mother that were sucking a half a dozen dicks a day? Would you want to run the risk of contracting herpes without being compensated what you felt it was worth? Please, think about it from our point of view. We have value and respecting our own boundaries is an integral part of remaining whole. As for menus, it is up to the provider. If an hourly fee is low then its probably a good idea to inquire if its all inclusive and if it is, be full of care. Menus are how a lot of agency girls make their $$$. It's a different style of service, and caters to those on a budget who want a very specific experience. It all depends on what you are looking for. Menus are about the provider being comfortable with what she ends up with at the end of the work day for the work she has done. Honestly, at the end of most days, most SPs know they sold a little part of their soul for the cash in their purse. The key is knowing you got a fair price for it. I have had menus in the past and they worked for the market I was in. I wouldn't go back to a menu today because every appointment is on my terms, I don't have to put up with the nonsense the younger girls have to. A menu is sometimes a good way to keep your heart from getting bruised when you are learning to separate your self from the work. In most markets there is room for a menu style service as long as it is advertised as such. It may not appeal to all but it has its place. cat

Just a note, laser has come down in price tremendously. I had a Brazilian done 3 years ago and it was over $1000 and took 7 visits. It was a gift from a friend so I'm not sure the exact price. I just had my legs and underarms done, it took 3 visits and cost me about $500 for both. I really suggest the laser, it works and feels sooo good after its finished. I am having everything zapped because it really makes life easier for me. Many of the smaller clinics will cut you a great deal if you are having more than one area done. The 5 weeks in between visits are good because you are pretty much hairless until just before the next visit. cat

We come to CERB because it is a place where we are accepted for who we are, not what games we like to play or what we do for a living. Funny how things that are considered mainstream here on CERB are often considered "gross" by parts of society not as sexually accepting as we are. Yet here we are, labeling something negative because it isn't mainstream to us. Hmmmmmm...makes me wonder. cat

Report this to the police immediately. It may be someone is simply enamored with you or it may be someone who is emotionally unstable and dangerous. Given our occupation, do you want to wait to find out? He may have a history of doing this or this might be his first time, either way it probably won't be his last. Let LE know so they can at least open a file on it. Putting this thread out in the world might not be the best idea either. If he is here on CERB it simply strokes his ego, even if the posts are not in support of his actions. Attention is attention whether it's good or bad. If attention is what he is seeking, he now has a way to feed that need by reading and rereading the thread. Put your safety first.... cat

Games played between two people are usually best left between the consenting adults. There are always risks of miscommunication when lovers are conscious, but if someone is unconscious then it is a problem. That's why it is so important to have the ground rules laid out in advance. What I find disturbing is that they had only discussed anal sex prior to this experience. Many men are not aware of the damage that it can do if performed incorrectly and most men take their cues from mainstream porn which can be very dangerous. The damage sustained during anal sex can have long term repercussions and when a person is unconscious they are not in a position to say when it is painful. While the colon is a resilient organ, there can be permanent damage that requires surgery to correct and if the sphincter is torn it can cause anal leakage until it is surgically corrected. Even after surgical reconstruction there is no guarantee that it will perform as it should. I have a girlfriend who was a stock Vivid girl who was hospitalized for 2 weeks after shooting an anal film that was required by her contract. It was insane and she still has issues a decade later. IMO, sodomizing this woman is where this situation when left and I find this ruling disturbing. cat

Gentlemen, I was in Ottawa entertaining last week and sent out invitations in advance. I no longer advertise my visits as my schedule is usually booked. I had a wonderful week and came home smiling. Since leaving I have received eleven emails from guests who missed my visit because they don't check their email. One guest was irate and very confrontational (he will not be invited back ever again to say the least!). My dance card was full anyway and I had a very successful trip but I would have gladly extended my visit to accommodate if I had requests. I know most of you have a private email account to handle your hobbying. I would like to suggest you take a minute and check your play account on a regular basis, just a peek at it. Then you won't miss my invitations.... Smiles, cat

Some ladies are definitely possessive and it is something you can't know till it's too late. Common sense would dictate that given this is a business and SPs are NSA encounters, guests have no obligation to stay with just one of us. But SPs are people first and that means we too have feelings. A client seeking another SP can mean we were not pretty enough, good enough, or whatever enough. Then there is the question of you coming back. If I lose a valued guests, it can mean a yearly loss of anywhere from $400 to $7200 to my bottom line and that is a hit that a lot of SPs can't afford. It can also be a hit to their softer side and that is even harder, especially if she is fond of you. When I ran for an agency I was incredibly territorial about my guests. Riding around in a car with the girls every night gave me a pretty good idea who was worthy of my boys and who wasn't. I have a protective streak a mile wide and I would not hesitate to tear a strip out of a girl on her way into see one of my guests. I knew who was a thief, who was a 15 minute girl, who was a con artist and who put all her and everyone elses $$$ up her nose. It was a different time, independents were rare and the agency would hand out the calls to whoever hadn't made any $$$ that night. As I got older I learned that they always come home if they were meant to. So referrals are not a problem for me. Just be gentle when asking, and be honest. If you can't be honest, make it a really good lie! My favorite was "I've always wanted a tall, busty, blonde porn star" which I definitely am not! Can't fault a guy for playing the field if I can't provide the tickle for his fancy. cat

Here it is, my 500th post. Now that I have a functional "s" key it is much easier! I know I don't post as often as I should, or as often as I would like to. My posts are always a little wordy and I hate to sound preachy so I hold my tongue on occasion. I will weigh in more, but I'm not a one line girl as you all know. I enjoy CERB in its entirety and value the input from all its members. It is the only place online I really feel comfortable. Thank you all for making this a safe haven for the likes of me... kisses to all, cat

Our biological makeup is programmed to make us fall in love to ensure the survival of our species. It is a chemical response and it eventually stabilizes and the cloud lifts. Take time to get to know someone, make no long term commitments until the sky is blue again. Enjoy the experience and take it as it comes. The key tho is to take it one day at time instead of making life plans while you are still euphoric. cat

This is a great thread! I have been entertaining in Ottawa for 5 years! I can hardly believe that much time has passed and I recently was thinking about this very question. Last fall I lost my database and had to start over and I have taken my advertising down over the years for long periods of time so many of my guests have lost touch. It's funny tho, the ones I remember the most always find their way back. Since last September I have had numerous guests walk thru the door that I haven't seen in ages (some as far back as '06) and it is wonderful to catch up, find out how life is for them and reconnect. I also have some who have life situation changes and yet we always manage to send the "here's whats new with me" email. When something major in their lives happen, I always make time for a coffee to see wedding, baby, or the new toy pictures. It's not about getting them back on the client list, just knowing they are smiling gives me a sense of peace and makes me smile. That said, I have many clients here in Ottawa that I need to reconnect with because we lost touch and in many instances it was my fault. Those I wonder about often. I do think about my guests down south, altho I have a cell phone with their numbers in it I have never called. Getting a call years after the last embrace would be a little invasive I think. They cross my mind with fleeting thoughts that lead down a path of fond remembrances and I hope they are doing well. cat

This is a discussion I get very passionate about. Having sat on both sides of the fence I can say with certainty that it is a community effort to provide quality industry wide. Here is a little insight into both agencies and indies that many do not understand. Both serve a specific clientele and are necessary. Some may find it interesting reading, others will not. AGENCIES The agency acts as an AGENT for SP's that choose not to handle the business side of this industry. The Agency works for the SP. Here is a situation that can be ideal for ladies who are not business oriented, do not want their bodies plastered over the internet for a myriad of reasons and make a choice to allow someone else to do the tasks they do not want or can't do. It is the easiest gateway into this industry and a perfect place for a beginner to get her feet wet. Beginners, tho the demand is high for them, are the most unstable and unreliable group to deal with on a day to day basis due to their age and inexperience. You never know how this business is going to impact them mentally, physically and spiritually. Agencies need staff stability so their SP's are on shifts which means they may be working when they would rather be home in bed. Agency staff have to be receptionist, negotiator, schedule manager, counselor, confessional priest, fashion adviser, bookkeeper, trouble spotter, deescalation expert and last but not least task master just to name a few of the hats they wear simultaneously. If there is more than one person on the phone at a time they are lucky. Good Agency staff have more on their plate than anyone imagines. If their plate is not overflowing, they are not doing their job. I had many wonderful girls come to work for me that seemed very well suited and by the third week they were a mess. Why does this happen? I constantly tried to improve my agency to ensure my girls were cared for. 10 years later, I am proud to still call many of them friends. So what was the problem? The only factor that was consistent and I had no control over was the clients. Many men who use agencies do not treat the SP as a person. A girl can run 5 appointments in an evening and it only takes one to screw her night up. This is not a business for the tender hearted or thin skinned. Because Agencies have a younger SP base, the girls take things personally and there can be serious damage done to their self esteem. The damage can be cumulative, and 6 months after a sweetheart starts she can end up seeming hard, uncaring and cold if she is not protected and cared for by her Agency. Many Agency SP's carry shame about what they are doing because they are still operating on the belief system our society instills in most of us. All it takes is one client that has that "your disposable" energy and she's hit. He doesn't even have to say anything, it's a feeling and once it touches you, you can't scrub it off you with stainless steel wool. Younger SP's haven't yet found their inner strength as a woman, let alone make friends with the wildness within. Most struggle with living a secret life and trying to reconcile who she thinks she is with who she truly is. This not just a job, it is a challenge to ingrained beliefs that have been there for generations. It takes a tremendous amount of courage to jump into this industry. It takes perseverance and a rare determination to stay in it long term. Running with an agency can be incredibly hard even for a seasoned pro. More often than not, SP's arrive on the Agency steps with more baggage than a luggage carousel. No little girl grows up wanting to be an SP. 99% of the time life hands them circumstances and they end up in a bind for $$$. They look to this income to fix their problems. What they don't realize is that $$$ doesn't solve the real problems, just alleviate the symptoms. So if an agency SP doesn't live up to her ad, take a look at her age and try and imagine her circumstances. You very well maybe the nice guy who's booked after the jerk. That said, if you are not happy with your service, an agency has more leeway to rectify the situation by offering a next time discount or some other type of perk to keep a customer. But it is up to you to call immediately and let them know. They can't fix it if they don't know it's happened. There are many ladies who thrive with an Agency because they are people oriented and take their work seriously. You will find they are either older or have a maturity that is unusual for their age. A truly good Agency does not have a problem keeping staff, SP's or clients. There are certain markets that make it challenging for an Agency to maintain staff, and I take my hat off to Agencies that service Ottawa. This is not an easy market. Agencies in Ottawa charge what the market will bear and in my humble opinion you get what you pay for. Indies Indies are a different breed of woman. Most started with an Agency but figured out quickly that we like to have more control over our business. We understand the responsibility and dedication it takes to run our own business. Younger Indies are learning as they go. The difference between them and their Agency counterparts is that they can take the time off when they need/want to and do not usually maintain a regular schedule. Do Indies have bad days? Of course they do. We have the option of canceling our day, but we seriously risk damaging our reputation. We have the same "ah ha" moments as Agency SP's, but we have no one to blame when they happen but ourselves. We alone are responsible for who we entertain so when things go wrong we carry the burden, when things go right we carry the glory. We have to wear the same hats as the agency owner and be our own cheer squad. We also come to realize our faults and weaknesses quicker because we are a 1 man show. Indies are usually more comfortable with who they are and what they do. They are more willing to take responsibility when things go wrong. Who does a client complain to when an appointment with an Indie awry? Most clients say nothing, chalk it up to experience and move on. The client should let the Indie know so she can fix it. We go the extra mile because we understand the long term financial impact of losing a client. Are Indies better value? That all depends, what is valuable to you? cat P.S. I had more to write about Indies but my "s" button popped off!

Capitalman, I can understand this being a frustrating set of circumstances for you. This isn't the point of my original post tho. Chatting with someone about a visit is one thing, as there has not been a date and time committed to. I was talking about having firm appointments, booked well in advance that cancel within a day or two of the actual appointment date. cat

This thread is not promoting Valerie, it's informing the rest of us that we now have a way of protecting ourselves. It's also a warning to trolls out there who use the threat of a bad review to extort price reductions and free services from SPs. They are out there, I have met several in person. There are members of CERB who are singing a very different tune when they are on other boards with different user ids. If this thread reaches only one of them it was worth it. The dilemma is that our work is unlike any other. We bare the most intimate parts of ourselves daily and we are human. We have bad days, it's unavoidable. Instead of being able to retreat into a cubical and make busy avoiding the world we have to go out into it and pretend everything is glorious. I remember having to go to work the same day I lost my children in court. Why? To put a roof over my head because the lawyers had eaten every cent of my savings. Another time I buried a very close friend at noon and had to be on shift at 5pm. Why? My agency had a no show=termination policy. If I didn't show up I had no job and I was still paying off the lawyers. We have no sick days to take or personal days. There is no 50-50 pension plan waiting for us. If we are hurt in an accident or at work, there is no safety net. No disability checks arrive by direct deposit. We are 100% out there, on our own. Our reputation is all we have! So if someone had a less than desirable experience, that's unfortunate and I'm genuinely sorry. It's not unheard of and certainly no threat to ones well being. If you have a problem with a provider you have two options. Either approach her directly, explain your concerns and see if she will rectify the situation, or move on and see what else is out there. But the first thing I would gently suggest is to look long and hard in the mirror and know exactly what it was that left you feeling the way you did. Dissatisfaction emanates from within and permeates everything. I have many clients who know Valerie and are quite fond of her with no complaints. One mans treasure is another mans garbage, and there isn't a woman out there that isn't attractive to someone out there. SPs deserve to be able to make a living at their chosen profession without fearing someone with a personal vendetta will try to undermine her ability to support herself. Valerie took the necessary steps to protect herself by registering as a DNR, he chose to ignore it. I realize there are two sides to every story and he may have felt he had the right to do what he did, but SPs are not able to defend themselves on other boards so she took the only steps she could to secure her livelihood. He took the risk and now his name is out there. If someone writes a bad review about me without contacting me first, giving me a chance to rectify the situation I will definitely consider doing the same thing now that I know it's doable. cat

I have advertised without pictures and then with pictures up. It depends on where the ad is placed. Yes, having pics on EC is a good thing, but I get a lot of inquiries from my print ads and then I send a picture to who I think is a good fit for me. I'm not looking for new clients at the moment but when I am, there will new pictures with my ad online. From an SP's point of view tho, it can be a scary thing to post pictures. I ran for 15 years without ever having a picture out in the world. That's the kind of quiet discretion I prefer... cat

FunValarie has been around a long time and has always maintained a DNR. Many SPs are not comfortable with reviews, myself included. I only participate on CERB because of the MOD's dedication to integrity and respect of all. I understand and admire FV's decision to follow this thru and her determination to keep her business off the boards. Do not misinterpret her actions as a reflection of her service. The two are completely separate. While reviews are entertaining reading, they can do more damage to SPs personal life than anyone can imagine. A well loved Ottawa SP was severely beaten after her boyfriend found her reviews online and she had to leave the city to escape him. That was not an isolated incident, it happens more often than you think. Do not forget that we have private lives that involve children, SOs, parents and employers. The nitty gritty details out there can come back to haunt in later years and many of us are very aware of it. Reviews may help a new hobbiest to decide who they want to see, but the majority of my clients are not online and if someone chooses not to see me because I have limited reviews online then that's on them, it really doesn't affect my bottom line. When someone emails me to say they can't find enough online about my services, I tell them that they simply need to trust me. If that isn't good enough for them, then they go see one of the girls that has reviews to his liking. A lack of reviews does not mean that the SP provides inferior service. FV knows that her bread and butter comes from the longstanding relationships she has worked hard to establish and an online detailed presence isn't necessary to ensure her success. cat

I don't think FunValerie is putting his name on public review boards but on SP warning boards. There are several that are SP only that we check when we are preparing to meet new guests. If a guest has been a problem to another provider then we take that into consideration when deciding to set up an appointment. I appreciate knowing in advance if a guest has the potential to be a problem. We list all known contact info, alias and names to aid other SPs. Guests who are chronic time wasters, meaning they book and don't show, may be a health threat, show signs of substance abuse or mental instability or may be physically violent could be listed there. The lists are not a guarantee but they help. SPs think long and hard before putting someones name out there. This guy obviously was up to something. cat

Why does a relationship have to be "forever" to be considered successful? Why do we expect it not to change over time? Everything about our existence is transient, either in an expansion phase or a decline phase and will never remain the same. The relationship we have with someone one day is not the same relationship we have with them the next. Every action and every experience changes us so we are not the same people, therefore the relationship between the same two people is never the same relationship. I believe that any relationship can be a positive one if it helps us grow as a person regardless if it lasts for 40 years or 40 days. The one thing I do know is that fear causes us to miss what is really important. The present. If you are afraid of what may happen and it governs your immediate actions you miss out on life now. The future is an illusion because nothing happens in the future, it happens now. Fear and worry keep us focused on either the past or the future which means we end up missing so much of our lives that's happening right now. Face the fear head on and see what happens. The results may surprise you. Darkness cannot exist with light and you may find yourself pleasantly surprised. You have three choices when dealing with any situation that is happening now. You can walk away, take action to change the immediate or accept the situation as is. Its very simple. Allow yourself to experience everything life has to offer, even if she is 22. Life has a way of taking care of the details. As long as you have been generous with sharing yourself it will not be a waste on her part. If you wake up and your over her one day, that is the day to sit and contemplate whats next, not today. JMHO, cat

When she's all done, I will get a picture taken for you... cat