cat

I have a love in my life, her name is Vivian. She came into my world a decade ago and has been a constant source of support for me. She never demands and she has never disappointed me. She has stood by me thru thick and thin, rich and poor, it never mattered to her. She gave me shelter from the elements when I had no where else to turn, kept me warm on cold nights and willing dragged my possessions where ever I need them to be. She never complained when I played the music that would let me release the tears. She just let me feel what I needed to and when it was over, she was there to take me to the next phase of my life. She has been a true friend. I have not always been as good to her as she was to me. Sometimes I didn't have time to tend to her issues, even tho I knew the problems would only get worse. Time is not kind and she is now needing attention and I have decided to step up to the plate and do everything in my power to put her right, regardless of cost even tho many consider her too old for such things. Vivian is a 1990 Volvo 240. She isn't sexy or sleek. She doesn't have shapely fenders or fancy headlights and her trunk will hold more junk than can be imagined. Her interior is in excellent shape, tho simple and not luxurious. She isn't a hybrid or a diesel, she doesn't quite get all the emission hoopla. But she is solid, her body is relatively unmarred by the salt she has had to drive in, her belly is still rust free. Her engine purrs and she starts every time the key is turned no matter how long she has sat. She is a 5 speed and has spunk, enjoys a good drive up a mountain road and loves to get out on the highway and run. She has "stealth mode" which I cannot explain. I've never had a speeding ticket when I know I deserved many. I can drive down a highway topless (I hate air-conditioning) and no one notices. She attracts no attention, which in my opinion is a priceless quality to have. So why is it every shop I have taken her to wants to talk me out of putting her right? Why is it better to replace her than fix her? I just don't get it, and it frustrates the hell out of me. I understand she is never going to be worth monetarily more than she is right now, but that isn't the point. I DON'T WANT A NEW CAR! I want MY car fixed! Why is it better to replace than repair? Mechanically, she is sound. I have never missed an oil change or maintenance. I've done the math, and with all the repairs done and what I paid for her, she will have cost me a grand total of $1 per day since I bought her, not including gas and insurance. Once she is restored, I know I will get another 10 years of driving out of her, maybe more! The sneers and snooty laughter ring in my ears still. The looks of "your a woman, and you have no idea what you're doing" are seared into my brain. Their ignorance made me want to scream at them, which made me realize how truly important it was to me to get her brought back to her original form. The light bulb moment was that it's easier for me to replace the man in my life than it is my car. Hmmmmm, food for thought. In this day why is new better? I disagree fundementally and refuse to adopt this mentality. She may not have the curves worthy of restoration, but she is a great, solid ride and not yet ready for a wrecking yard. I will not abandon her for something with heated leather seats and a GPS. We need to spend a little more time honoring what is instead of coveting what we could have. I realize the day will come when I cannot find parts and she will have to retire, but now is not that time. Just a little rant that I thought you boys would understand... cat p.s. I found a wonderful restoration shop who did not laugh or snicker and by spring I will have her back ready to roll!

I hope your retirement is of your choosing. It seems we like to put people and situation in little boxes. From a very young age we are taught to sort and categorize everything that crosses our pass, especially people. I'm not sure why but we are a society that deems it necessary to tell our wise when they should stop contributing. I have huge issues with mandatory retirement, and I for one do not intend to retire from whatever it is I am doing. Find a passion and enjoy! Smiles, cat

Most SP's say they give references for clients and most do so willingly. Some openly say no, and then there are those that say yes but resent doing so. As one SP told me "would you send your patrons to the competition?". They look at it like asking McDonald's for directions to Burger King. Respect her decision and spend some time communicating with the new SP. There are many ways to verify, references are just one. We ask for references for many reasons. LE is really the least of our worries here in Canada. It is about ensuring our safety. There are so many game players that are time wasters, we prefer to avoid them, and of course we want to avoid dangerous situations at all costs. My focus is always that he is who he says he is, he shows up for appointments and there isn't an issue with collecting the consideration. If an SP's opinion isn't favorable because of grooming or attitude, I factor that in but it doesn't mean I won't see someone. I have many clients that other SP's are not fond of for a multitude of reasons but we get along just fine. I believe most SP's approach a new client the same way, giving each guest a chance. As long as you respect our methods then it isn't a problem. Don't sweat it, just ask if there is another way to verify. cat

This is why I only book 2 hour appointments. I love my couch time AND my play time with my guests. I have always found that great couch time leads to great playtime because of the connection you establish. I have guests that I could easily spend hours with and not notice time passing. I have had guests who come in specifically to talk. Sometimes a friend with an ear is far more important to someone than playtime. When it's good, it's just good and I don't try to analyze why. I just enjoy what is. It all depends on the mood... cat

Sounds positively divine! Cat

I find the diversity of our species to be incredible and awe inspiring. The stereotypical version of "perfection" is so transient because every shape is desirable if it is seen for exactly what it is...real. Willow, I think you look amazing and those that find a reason to berate only do so because the insecurity they have comes out. Not one of us is built exactly the same, even identical twins have minute differences and if we stop and really look there is something attractive in even those that our time says are imperfect. You are right to stand proud. You have what so many of us strive for but never achieve. Never apologize for something that is, especially when what is - is so appealing to the eye. Words only have the power to hurt if we personalize them and make them real. Hateful behavior can only exist in the dark, once the light is shone on it, it will dissipate. Every time the light shines, it is good for all... Cat

Finding an agency that recognizes the value that providers bring to the table is a difficult task and most of the time not worth the effort or heartache. In Canada I prefer to be independent also... cat

Darling Tracie, I know just how you feel! I lost almost 18 inches last spring because of a bad visit to a salon. I went from long and flowing locks to a number 2 buzz to fix it. It threw me for a huge loop and I literally went into hiding. Hang in there and don't fear. Since returning, my guests have loved it and it is growing out. Allow this to be an opportunity to challenge your self perceived identity and embrace the fact that you are not your hair. You are a smart and sexy woman regardless of your locks. Wigs are big fun, explore your options. I like Momma CiCi's on St. Laurent. Inexpensive and variety to boot... cat

For me it is all about the intentions. I can have fun with playing any game as long as my playmates have the right attitude. I like a man who knows what he wants and doesn't make me play detective to figure it out. I like music and mood lighting, I love erotica which is a little different than plain ole porn, I like someone who is comfortable with my body and their own. I like a man who is simply himself and just wants to have fun. Just be yourself and soak in the moment. It's not the game that's important, it's the playmate... cat

50% for the agency is standard from my experience. I have ran for agencies, been independent and owned an agency and they all have upsides. Agency owners take all the real legal risks and have to come up with the cash when they need lawyers so I think 50% is fair. Their costs are considerably higher than independents if they run a proper business. An agency allows women who do not have the experience or time to manage their own business to make money and stay safe. My girls not only had to pay 50% but had to participate in a financial management program that included buying a house, becoming debt free, saving for retirement and getting an education. I also had book on-off fees, company cell phone fees, and they paid the driver. It was my way of sifting thru the ones that weren't committed. Once they had proven themselves, the fees were eliminated. The key to a great agency is the owner's commitment to both the providers and the clients. It is a tricky balance but well worth the effort. Indies are a completely different type of girl. She is committed to making her own way and takes full responsibility for building her business. She spends her time and energy ensuring her day runs the way she wants it to and that her clients feel a connection. She is intelligent, usually savvy and street smart. Both venues serve different needs and are a welcome part of this business. Cat

I don't have a website and if I did, I would not put a menu up. That isn't what I cater to. Every experience is different with each guest. If you read the profiles on Escorts Canada you can tell who has shopping lists and who doesn't. I think if an SP is well reviewed here and you can't find bad reviews on the other boards then she's obviously legit. This focus on the "acts" or the "measurements" to me means they are not looking at the world the same way I am and we probably are not a good match. My life is too short to share my time with people who "just don't get it". Cat

I don't respond to inquiries that ask for intimate details. If the act is more important than the overall experience then he's not my kinda guy. I always say that there isn't a game I don't like to play, just playmates I don't like to play them with so how much mileage he gets is entirely dependent on his attitude towards our time spent together. If he sends me a shopping list then I don't worry about booking him. These are not things I am willing to put out there in writing. Cat

After I have met someone and we have a rapport, I enjoy pet names. I think this thread is specific to intro emails. Another thing, more than one word is appreciated. I am amazed that guests think that they will get a response to "Available?" I answer back "No" even if I am sitting there eating cookies, in bed alone! I am the most babbling babe and I like a substance in my guests emails. Simple introduction is all that's necessary like "Hi, my name is John and I was wondering if you are around?" will suffice. Just a little fyi... Cat

You are right Miss Emma! I often receive emails that are not addressed to me, I just happen to receive it. I know that many other SP's got the same email. It feels like they are trying to be too familiar and it is often a trait carried by predators. There may be a handful that use it innocently and are trying to warm things up, but for the most part it is a good indicator that SP's watch for. If there is baby, doll, or some other term of endearment; it sends up red flags to me and I do not respond with the same attitude. It puts the hair up on the back of my neck and often I suddenly I remember that I have to clean my fridge at the exact same time when the guest wants the visit. I feel it indicates a lack of respect and a lackadaisical outlook towards the time we will spend together. I value time shared and I want my guests to share that outlook to some degree. I'm glad you put this out there.... Cat

The oncoming lights kill me, but recently I've been experience rear light issues. I drive a little car and here in the west SUV's reign supreme. I seem to get stuck behind them all the time and because they are so much higher their tail lights leave me seeing little red dots after we start moving again. I didn't get why it's happening but after reading this it makes sense. They must be using the new bulbs in the back as well. Cat

Happy Birthday Yabut! You'll have to come by and get your birthday present! Cat

70's? Please! That is the new 45. Tonight I had dinner with a gentleman who is 90, I saw the passport. The plumbing works with no little blue pills and he's an absolute charm. He has a little apartment in a seniors home and still drives. Went across the city today for a good shave and trim for our evening together. I like my men. The over 35 are my preferred unless they are really mature. Cat

Take care of you and keep in touch! Cat

Altho he was very well behaved and a really sweet dog, he wasn't mine. Being I was a "new" master, I had not yet developed the confidence that he would heel so the car was a good option. As for the thread topic, it always pays to be careful, aware and prepared. Both SPs and guests take a certain amount of risk and when common sense is applied much of it can be alleviated. As the War Amps say "Play Safe!" Cat

I agree with Sixernine, don't read too much into it. Every woman cycles a little differently. I think it was stand up of you to stay and shows good character. Being understanding of someones situation is an admirable trait and the fact that she was honest with you about it shows that you have a really good communication stream with her. She also could have had a yeast issue or a uti and didn't want to disclose. Both of these are really common, really uncomfortable and full service makes them worse. Quite often SPs are faced with financial situations that make it difficult to take a week off each month. We are not known for our $ management skills. It means we have to work an extra 10-15 hours the other three weeks to even out the loss of income and some of us don't have a reserve to cushion the loss. Consider it a good deed and go to bed knowing you contributed to her well being. You did the right thing. Cat

Congratulations Cato! I've enjoyed your input and you have been a truly welcome addition here... Kisses, Cat

jerican is dead on, we independents are very daytime friendly. I started to today at 5am, but a spinner...I am not... Cat

A couple of years ago I babysat a pit bull that was an amazing dog, and I ended up taking him on a bit of a road trip. While in Ottawa he would stay in my bedroom while I entertained in the guest suite, but on the road he had to just stay in "the corner". I was shocked at the number of guests who chose to walk out because of it. I'm a "big" dog person so it really threw me. I knew that if he had decided to eat someone I would have a hard time stopping it, he was strong so their fears were not completely unfounded. The poor puppy ended up having to spend his time in the back seat of my car during my guest visits for the duration of my road trip. Thankfully it was mid fall and it wasn't dangerous for him. I agree that there is nothing in the world that says "behave" like a protective pet. The security issue goes both ways, while SPs can be targets, so can guests, not just with incall. Always be careful of who you invite into your home. There have been numerous cases of a girl coming in, scoping things out and a month later someone breaking in and cleaning a place out. I have no first hand knowledge of it in Canada, but at home it was an issue. Know who you are dealing with and only invite SPs who work for a proven agency or are established independents. If you are using a new independent, get a hotel room until you know her. It is well worth the investment. Cat

I agree with Annessa, life is too short to waste on people who do not appreciate and respect others time. That said, I have a confession. I am a flake on rare occasions and those out there who think all flakes don't feel remorse are incorrect. It kills me every time. I still have nightmares about the time I cc'd instead of bcc'ing Valentine invitations in '06. To this day I can't send out multiple emails, it literally gives me hives which is why so often I arrive in town without having sent out invites. It's not because I don't want to see and catch up with guests, but I run out of time to send out individual emails to all before my arrival. While in the confession mode, in October I stood a guest up. Why? I had a flake moment and had the time incorrect in my mind. Not in my daytimer mind you, but in my head! He buzzed and I was in the other end of the house putting finishing touches out. I came out thinking I was 20 mins ahead but was 10 mins late. He left, never to return even after I emailed and called with an explanation and apology. I don't think about it because when I do, it flips my stomach and leaves me queasy. At my age, I have learned that life is too short to be irritated or upset by those who walk amongst us who truly miss the bigger picture. They simply are in a place where they are the center of the universe. They may or may not realize we are truly insignificant and yet so precious at the same time, and I accept they may never grasp that we are all part of the same star dust. The day will come, if not in this life experience but the next when they realize that every act carries energy that effects the world on the whole. For now, I simply focus on not letting the negativity enter my little world because really that's all I have to worry about. It makes my world a much nicer place. Just MHO. Cat

Colon health is a favorite topic of mine, as many of you already know. It is critical to ensure all is good in the colon because once there is trouble it effects every aspect of the body. Most of the medical testing procedures today are really well done and fairly easy to take. There are a lot of things we can do to keep things running smoothly on our end. I know I sound like a grandma, but fiber is key and should be supplemented daily. My favorite is psyllium fiber which is sold under the brand name Metamucil. They now have cookies and bars which are convenient and easy to use and the powder comes in berry, lemonade, and orange flavors. There is no excuse for not getting enough daily fiber. The second thing is hydrotherapy. The finest hydro-therapist I have ever used is right here in Ottawa down in the market on the corner of King Edward and St. Patrick. She is THE BOMB and can fix up all kinds of health challenges thru proper colon management. Taking care of yourself is key. Simple prevention and a little attention go a long way. Cat