cat

I have not had a guest arrive "under the influence" so to speak here in Ottawa, and yes, occasionally someone has had the help of a little blue pill now and then but it's rare. A glass of wine while we visit certainly isn't a problem, but intoxication just doesn't make the experience any better for me. I appreciate the fact immensely that my guests arrive with a clear head and a willing spirit. I'm such a "in the moment" girl and that's really all it takes... Cat

I have and its a very fun experience! Expensive...but fun! Across the river is better IMHO. Cat

Darling CK, Happy birthday to the sweetest cowpoke around! I hope your day brings you smiles and laughter and your upcoming year is smoother than the last. Stay sweet and oh so kissable! Cat

I agree, I really enjoy the emails preceding a visit, even from guests I know well. It gets me in the right mood and sets the tone for the rendezvous... cat

Gently suggest that there are more interesting things to talk about, I find a kiss ends the uncomfortable questions... cat

He knows exactly what he's doing, and is doing it intentionally. I think this is someone who perhaps has an axe to grind, and something of his own to spread. It follows the MO of these types. cat

Last night I received an email from a potential guest that set me off, and I would like to take a moment to express to those men out there that think they can lie to SP's and get away with it. His emails and pm's were polite and respectful for a couple of days and then out of the blue the request for bbfs comes. I chose not to answer it, and simply deleted his emails. Today I find out he has contacted other SP's with the same request but a completely different story line. He gave me a story to elicit sympathy, tailored to play to my nature. He has obviously read my posts. His entire approach was intentionally manipulative and I thought I would put this out there for the members of CERB to see. CERB is a closer knit community than many realize and those that lurk in this membership intending to take advantage of SP's need to move to another board. This behavior is completely unacceptable and I for one, will not tolerate it. This is the only online community that I maintain an online presence because of the exceptional attitude that MOD works so hard to ensure. For those of you out there who are up to no good, find somewhere else because your kind are not welcome here. Cat

This is sweet and so very appreciated! cat

My approach to the world is an uncommon one, and not all share or understand it. For me, respect is given, regardless of the persons behavior towards me. Trust is always given at the start and then it may shift, but it is always there. The shift lies in where the trust is applied. Those that have unpredictable behavior patterns can be trusted to be unpredictable. Eveningstar's quote is wonderful when showing respect at it's finest. I think what I have tried to convey, tho not as succinctly as I would like is that what you put out there comes back. Not just the actions, but the emotions. We have all heard the adage "actions speak louder than words" and it is absolutely true. We have friends with jugheads values and ethics, they are the people we know we can count on. We forget however that emotional energy is as real as physical energy, and it emanates out into the world and can enhance or infect every situation we enter into. Acceptance of what is, inner non-resistance to the moment and non-judgment are the keys to finding peace. Carrying baggage from the past that does not bring quality to the moment is simply going to weigh down and clutter what could be. Our job is to identify when that is happening. Just my take on the world, and I'm sure Soleil never intended this thread to become anything close to what it has. I for one have really enjoyed everyone's input and honesty. That in itself is an accomplishment... cat

The age of the message is an issue. I went thru this over the last year because of the lack of internet availability and when I was rebuilding my database I came across dozens of emails that happened to show up when I couldn't get to a computer to answer them. I'm an SP and not an MA but the parallels are there. I ended up deleting the messages, with hopes they found an alternative and had fun. Then I recommitted to sitting every day and answering each email as I use to. Even us old broads drop the ball sometimes... cat

Congratulations Miss Mandalay! This is a project that has the potential to have a really positive impact on the misconceptions surrounding our industry. My suggestions echo YoungStud, use professionals and take your time planning and DO IT JUSTICE! cat

Drop Miss Emma Alexander a line. She recently visited Winnipeg and may be coming back your way. Cat

Just one last groan on this topic... If you ask and we say no...DON'T ASK AGAIN...EVER! Thanks! Cat

Take a few very deep breaths baby girl, it happens to all of us. Negotiating in Canada seems to be almost non-existent in any other business, but for some reason it happens almost daily to SPs. Being an avid negotiator, it doesn't offend me because I love to get a deal, and I understand its just in some of us, like a tree will behave like a tree, and rock will always behave just a rock should. Do not let it throw your game because it sounds like your a VIP player... cat

Glad to see you found a new hitchin post! Welcome back! Cat

Darling jughead, It is deeply saddening that this is your perception of half the planet, but I don't think you actually believe it. We all have an innate need for connection, and I am sorry your experiences have been difficult. I for one, do not envy men the task of dating women. I still don't understand the complexities that make up the way most women think. For me women are much like computers, I admire all that they are, but I never feign to understand the hows and whys. What I do know is that it's never too late to upgrade the skills needed to enjoy either. What I find helps is realizing its an ongoing experience that changes moment to moment. You are right, with an SP there are no head games. But will she sit at your bedside when you are sick? Will she be there when the sky is dark and there is a storm coming? I'm not saying we do not have our place in the lives of our guests, but we are more likened to a rental or a lease not a purchase. When it comes to trust I always remember that every day millions of people drive 80kms/hr down roads with a simple painted line to ensure oncoming traffic doesn't hit them head on. If you drive, you can trust. Give it a chance and trust, what you put out there will come back to you...I promise. Cat

Only Soleil knows his situation, and what I am writing is simply my experience with these types of situations. Across the board, the guests I refer to have the ability to have lasting relationships, most have good relationships with family and friends, they simply never moved into the dating realm. Positive intimate relations do not increase confidence on a social level and it is not sheer will that will overcome the challenges at hand. What is necessary is a life skills plan that enables them to move thru the steps and acquire the confidence and know how necessary to interacting with women. It can be daunting, and most would benefit from having an accredited mental health care professional on board to help. Not because they are broken or sick, but to learn skills they don't have. Unfortunately asking for help isn?t something on the to-do list. The easier route is simply picking up a phone and setting up an appointment with an SP. My guests threw themselves into academic and professional accomplishments and allowed that to be the main focus of their days and most nights. Achieving success on these levels offers a tremendous sense of accomplishment which allows them to justify the lack of dating in their lives. They leave that aspect as something that will come in time, but they never seem to make time to allow it to happen. I often give the analogy of sitting at a piano and learning to play Chopsticks in a 10 minute lesson. Even if you practice it every day, you can?t say ?I play the piano?. You must learn the fundamentals of the instrument, master them, and then allow the music flow out thru you to be a pianist. Relationships follow the same principles. You must commit time and effort and learn the fundamentals. Visiting an SP as the only outlet to get your itches scratched equates to being able to play "Chopsticks" and does not make you a pianist. One must simply be clear when choosing an SP for a first experience what the reasons are. If it is the fear of embarrassing yourself with your girlfriend because it?s a new experience that?s one thing. If you have never had a girlfriend or even gotten to second base, then there are deeper issues at hand and turning to an SP can create lifelong habits that are difficult to break. It potentially can become the Band-Aid to a situation that needs stitches? Cat

I have had it happen on both counts during the same time frame! Talk about a funny, this pre-cell phone and I wrote down the wrong room number. This was back when we carried purse fulls of quarters for the pay phones. The gentleman opened the door, and insisted I come in and use his phone to call my service and reconfirm the room number. He was incredibly sweet considering it was the middle of the night and he obviously had been sleeping. He declined a "thank you" but took a business card. I ended up at the same "wrong room" the next night, thinking the kind gentleman had called and the door opened and it was someone completely different! Very strange feeling, but fun all the same. I love synchronicity! Cat

I believe we all have the right to choose for ourselves the time, place and person for our first encounter. That said, I have serious reservations about men choosing an SP for their first experience. There are many reasons to decide a professional is in order, but one must really understand the issues at hand. My concern comes from the many guests I have known, who are wonderful but obviously single men. They are smart, funny, accomplished, caring and would make great life partners. They don't date, or interact with women except on a surface level. The Problem? They were shy and had difficulty asking girls out when they were younger. Instead of learning how to approach girls their own age, and develop confidence and knowledge thru the process, they opted to seek out a professional. Instead of gaining confidence by having intimate experience they found an outlet that allowed instant gratification. They never developed the necessary life skills to get into a long term relationship. They have continued to use professionals because it was the easier path. I have had dozens of these men come thru my door. Sometimes I sit quiet when they leave and reflect. A hand full of them are truly happy with their lives. They have freedom and live every day. Many of them tho, long for something more, but now they have reached their 30's and 40's struggle to learn the necessary skills needed to have a more encompassing relationship. For anyone considering this as a first experience, remember that the easier road is not always the path you want to take. Cat

A girls gotta love that! cat

A regular for me isn't the frequency of his visits, but the frequency of communication. I have many guests who simply cannot afford to see me weekly or even monthly. But the ones that think to drop me a note and let me know they are well and smiling are the ones that have a little star beside their names in my mind. It's not a numbers thing for me but the connection that counts... Cat

I have received so many trinkets over the years and every one of them really made me smile. The one that has touched me the deepest wasn't a gift, it is a "loansie". The art in my condo was loaned to me by a very dear friend and they touch me daily when I'm here. The fact that he would consider me a caretaker of such treasures touched me in ways I never expected. Altho I know one day I will have to return them, I soak the energy they have up every chance I get. Perhaps by the time he needs them returned I could actually pay for them. In the mean time they grace my walls and add so much to my days in Ottawa. My second favorite is cash. I always have something that needs to be paid and that makes me smile when I can cross it off the list. Fresh flowers and delicacies to nibble on are a treat that I appreciate and any gesture above and beyond is welcome... Cat

Darling Leah, This is exactly what I mean by the emotion we call "love" which in fact isn't. Love is never needy, or insistent. It does not impose itself on the inner peace we all strive to achieve. This unstable emotion feeds a part of our brain that hinges our happiness on things that are transient in nature and because change is inevitable, dooms us to a letdown when things finally change. There is no person, possession, circumstance or event that will ever make us happy, because if happiness is gained from any of these it will change to disappointment when the life current flows. Happiness comes from being at peace with this very moment no matter what it holds. Love is the ability to look at the "Now" and appreciate all the aspects it presents... Cat

Labels of SP and client limit and define us, we are all human. Can we fall in love? Of course we can. Asking "will it work" is a question that has no answer. What I define as a successful relationship is different from other peoples idea of successful. Accurately define "falling in love" first. It is a phrase that is thrown around and we all assume it means the same thing to all but it doesn't. Is it the physical rush that hits us when we know we are going to get see someone? Is it the constant thoughts of someone that the mind insists on thinking? Is it the impulse that manifests as a physical need to see someone and be in their presence? Is it the chemical reaction that takes place in our bodies that is addictive in its highs and its lows? These are all recognized as initial symptoms of "being in love" but I question if it is indeed love. Society's definition of love is a label of misunderstanding. The concept of love we commonly accept is a two sided blade, the positive emotion we feel towards someone can turn to hatred, possessiveness, envy, resentment and a myriad of negative emotions. Love is a state of being, not a simple human emotion that has duality. Love as a state of being has no negative, it is beyond the human minds manipulation. Do I love my guests, yes I do, each and every one of them. I have several incredible long-term relationships with people who are "clients". Do my relationships fit in the box society trys to impose for love? No they don't. Would I change it? No I wouldn't. Cat