cat

There is something wonderful in everyone, we simply have to be willing to see it. I don't ever offer a compliment that is not felt. I put my all into every appointment even when I know my guest will not be a repeat guest. Ooooing and Ahhhing over attributes to simply try and get a guest to return to me is absurd. I don't want someone to return unless I genuinely enjoy them, so why would I offer fake compliments? Everyone is unique and that is what is wonderful about the human beingness that is all of us. Why so suspicious? Why can't we just enjoy the moment and take a compliment for the positive contribution it is? Cat

I don't feel unsafe in any environment unless something in particular sets my intuition off. I do prefer guests to visit me for a number of reasons. 1. I can ensure the ambiance which we all know can take a good experience and make it great. 2. The time involved in traveling. Hotels within city limits are fine. Residences that are on the google maps don?t pose a problem to get there but there are too many unknowns and that makes it my least preferred method of entertaining. Driving an hour outside the city to see a client simply isn?t cost effective for me unless he is an established guest. 3. I know where I live, I know the security is amazing, and my condo is a bit of a maze with lots of doors. If things got scary, I could be out of there before he figures out where I went. I have worked all angles and initially incall was not my preferred venue, but since landing in Ottawa my opinion has changed. It is a safe environment, if a guest has ill intentions he has to bring the tools in with him. Difficult to conceal duct tape in a front door pat down and pocket emptying. I require guests to leave all their pocket contents but their wallet at the front door and coats are hung in the closet. Every aspect of the visit is preplanned before he arrives and if there is deviation it catches my attention. Entertaining in your chosen environment allows you to control the situation much more effectively that visiting a guest in their home. Cat

Carrie is dead on, do not license. The trixie part is incalls, and thats where they get you. The easiest is not to advertise them, and insist all first appointments be outcall. Once you know the gent, then you can put him on the incall allowed list. Cat

An great experience is not limited by the size of the players. Size is a subjective term with no 2 people?s definitions meaning the same thing. This thread reminds me of the racism issue at home. Most people would not intentionally say a slur, nor would they think they are racist. They would not choose an unqualified white man over a qualified black man, and don?t hesitate to sit in a restaurant beside a different race, which 40 years ago was unheard of. But when the baby brings a different shade home to meet the parents, it?s a challenge to those dearly held social beliefs. Weight discrimination is out there, even if we don?t acknowledge it. The degree varies, like color discrimination. The lighter the skin...the better. The thinner the woman?the better. It?s not conscious, but it?s there. It is a societal perception and not reflective of all the individuals in the society. Discussion brings things to light, and with the light darkness cannot exist. If someone relies on a particular body type rather than the person within for the attraction stimulus, it simply means they are focused on form which is linear, rather than essence which is depth. It is not better or worse, it is simply the way they see the stardust we are all made of. Yes, the proportions have to be symmetrical to be appealing to the eye most of the time, but not always. Yes, as a society; most tend look for those bodies that visually balance. We have had decades of Playboyesque female forms to shape what we define as beautiful. To say what you like today isn?t shaped by the filters of how you view the world (which are formed over a lifetime) is simplistic. We all do it. I have 4 daughters, 1 spinner, 2 average curvys and one that is a BBW. They are all beautiful facially. The BWW is as pretty as the others, and at times even more beautiful. Shes outgoing and smart, but she is the one sitting on the couch with me on Saturday night. Only older men ask her out, and at 18 she finds that a little too weird still. In time she will realize that age isn't a factor. In the meantime she waits. I was never a spinner. I have been volumptuous from puberty, and often times just plain ole fat. I had no confidence about my body when I was young because I wasn?t slim hipped with a little ass. Did the centerfolds taped up all over my dads garage influence how I felt about my body? Absolutely! I would sit in the office and look at the "perfection". No false breasts back then, just natural, slender women. It was the '70's and I was a '50's shape. Just didn't fit the mold, but I was too young to realize. As I matured my body changed. With childbearing my hips widened, my breasts softened and internally did weird and wonderful stuff. The curves to me now represent life and all the changes that I regard as amazing. I would not trade my body type now, I embraced it years ago, but it took being an escort to realize I was attractive and desirable. We come in all shapes and sizes, which is the wonder of human beings. I think there is an issue, but it will change with time if it's recognized. It always does? Cat

K guys, I have a pic on my desktop, anyone know how to put it up on the thread? Cat

Miss Mandalay, I think this is an excellent thread. The two professions simply very different. Strip clubs are not an easy business to run, and while there is money made, I?m sure it?s not as much as everyone thinks. I have tremendous admiration and appreciation for exotic dancers. They put it out there, every night. I would rather have a tooth pulled than dance naked on a stage. For me the only thing that is harder than dancing naked on stage is having pictures taken. The industry has changed over the years, and as independent contractors the dancers have more control over their careers which I think is a good thing if they are hustlers. Those that are not business minded are better as employees. Much like our business, those that are willing to work hard and take full responsibility for the time they spend become independents. Those that simply want to show up, work and go home have agencies to work for. There will always be people that simply cannot work for someone else. They have too much drive and ambition to wait for success. Others are willing to put in their time and HAVE A LIFE! Lol! It all depends on what is important to you. You could not pay me to do what dancers do, not because I am above it, but because it scares the living s**t out of me. I love to go and watch them, it takes moxy to do what they do. Cat

Just when I was thinking of going blonde! Cat

Poly. Plural. Gang Bang. Rounders. Multi. It doesn't matter how it labeled. It has been around since the beginning of time. I have been reading the threads concerning this and quite honestly none of this makes any sense to me. Not because of the actions or the reactions, the participants or the detractors. It's the judgment. The detractors voiced an opinion of disapproval, they passed a judgment. The participants reacted with disapproval of the disapproving opinion and passed a judgment. Who is right? Seems to me like everyone's doing the same thing. The question is would you rather be right or happy? Judgment in itself is a divider, it keeps us separate and consistently isolates. It serves no purpose except to reinforce the belief that "I'm better than". Last time I checked we all put our pants on one leg at a time and stick our fingers in places we don't admit to. I have a saying that I use "Your opinion of me is none of my business" and it serves me well. There will always be misunderstandings, thats why we are here to communicate. No 2 people will every have the same "line in the sand". Those lines move with time. For some it's forward and for some its backwards. Back in the day, bachelor parties had group scenes of sorts. Been there. Would I go back? I don't know. It doesn't seem to hold any draw for me at this place in my life. Was it fun? Sometimes yes, sometimes no. We all have the choice to participate, opinionate, and ignore. Perhaps if all involved stopped and looked within to see what the moment requires of them, this situation would rectify itself and take it's place where it belongs. Catherine

I find it depends on the prevalent attitudes of the area. Here in Ottawa I have only ever received 2 personal referrals in 4 years. Down South I had a client base of over 100 within a year without ever advertising. If the social customs dictate that this is something that is done but discreetly for the ladyfolk in their lives then you simply feel out your friends. Because this is the capital and things like security clearances and promotions are so precious, it's important to keep the reputation pristine. Who knows where they will be 5 years from now. Someone who is today changing tires on OT buses could be applying for a job with the NCC and tarnished reputations are hard to fix. I also agree that if your friend is "telling" he's not someone to tell. A long time friend and I have matching mugs that say "your my best friend because you know too much". A history of shared indiscretions is the only real insurance to knowing someone is going to keep your confidences. Catherine

Miss Mandalay, Thank you! I am trying to get on more, just need more threads that I can weigh in on. I have a hard time chiming in on who has the best behind or breasts, because I've never seen any I didn't like! c

In Canada, I have never had issue with LE but in the US, a very different story. So for those traveling south of the border, please do your research! As for STD's and STI's, I have never had one. Like Emma; I am tested regularly. I do believe that the statistics account for the general public who are not as fastidious with health issues. An evening out with a little too much wine and one's judgment becomes cloudy and mistakes are made. I have never believed that SPs pose the greatest health concern. We are more aware because it's our job to be. Most of us can identify by name visual dangers and I am vigilant at inspection as a precaution with all guests. I believe there is risk in every situation which warrants awareness. But we all take risks every day from contracting Staph by showering at the gym to getting hit by a truck crossing the street. We simply weigh the risk and take as many precautions as possible otherwise we would never get out of bed. Life is to be experienced every moment of every day because that is all we are ever guaranteed to have. Cat

I call mine "Cookie"! Cat

Sitting and reading this thread made me smile as I have sat and pondered this many times. 1985 was my first year working. My rate was $200/hr. The majority of my clients still pay that. I have had years where my fee was much higher but it wasn?t in Canada. I agree with Christine that there is a price ceiling. I feel it is generated by a combination of self and societal beliefs. The discretionary income is there, I see it every day. The challenge is that we are not a recognized industry and there is no organization amongst us to speak of. The women who make up our ranks have such vast differences in work ethics and expectations that it makes it impossible to set an industry standard for either service or fees. Unions have ensured our tradesmen are given a set wage and benefits package and even full time food service workers are given benefits packages. There are standardized base salaries pretty much across the board for all occupations that require certification. There is also an expected commitment to working a set number of hours per week depending on whether you are full or part-time in a recognized profession. Our business is completely different. Women can work as often or as little as they want. They can set their own rates depending on their expectations or needs and never think about ?undercutting? someone else. There are no rules. Every legitimate small business owner has to operate within guidelines dictated by our government; ie taxes, employees, licenses and codes. We have nothing. The mismanagement of rates is not an individual issue. Independents run their business as best they can with the current legislation in place. Until it changes and we can start organizing as an industry our rates are subject to the whim and fancy of our guests. I have always believed that there should be mandatory training that covers the gamut of challenges we face. Too many women get involved without the proper information at hand and it puts everyone at a distinct disadvantage. There needs to be some sort of accreditation. If women had a clear understanding of the toll this business could take on them, the rates they set would reflect the physical, emotional and spiritual costs involved. It is a challenge that will only be changed when we are given the same basic rights as other Canadians and who knows when that will be. Until then, those of us who have committed a lifetime to this business need to make sure their money management skills rival that of Warren Buffet or else they will wake up one day with little to show for the years of hard work? Catherine

I recieved a note today telling me this thread was up and I smiled. There is so much happening in this life adventure and for the first time in a decade I'm in a world where no one knows anything about my profession. It has been a challenge on so many levels and I miss everyone so much I ache at times. Not just the physical void but my heart aches for the connection I feel when I spend time with those I care about in Ottawa. My edit button has malfunctioned on several occasions. The bureaucratic superficiality is difficult to digest and I long for the times shared with friends when I can say exactly what I'm thinking and how I'm feeling. I miss listening and knowing I made someone smile and the sun shine brighter for their day. I remember the moments of intimate exchanges where there are no lies, just two people being real. I miss the genuine conversations and touches. I miss you all so very much. Do not think life isn't glorious at times for me. My daughter brings joy to my life in ways unexplainable. I love the mountains, the big sky and amazing winter weather. I have so much to be thankful for and I spend my time here re-learning to live in a world that isn't quite ready for me. I now remember clearly why I turned my back on it so many years ago. What I do know is that I don't feel that I'm giving back to the world the way I thought I would, the way I want to, the way I am accustomed to. I always had such an intense sense of satisfaction with my work and I am seeking it now but it's not there yet. I doubt it ever will be because there is nothing in the world that can replace the connection, however brief, of two people just being themselves. I plan on being back in Ottawa for April 16th and I will try and stay until I have had a chance to reconnect with everyone I miss that misses me back. Know that I'm smiling and I will try and be better at posting. I don't have access at work and I try to peek in at night to see how the world is spinning in the capital. I enjoy reading everyones input and it gives me that sense of belonging that I don't have here. I haven't decided to make this move permanent yet but I need to give it a fair shake. Until then I plan to come home every third week of the month. For all those that continue to make CERB what it is....THANK YOU Sincerely with love....Cat

Testifying would need to be considered carefully from a personal position and then it would be up to her lawyer. When I had all my trouble several clients were willing but my lawyer felt it wouldn't help. What did help was some unexpected financial help when I least expected it. These court issues take money. The even higher price is the mental and emotional focus that gets thrown out of kilter. Working is difficult because getting your balance after you've had the rug pulled out from underneath you is such a challenge. Being arrested shakes your sense of security and that throws everything else off for a bit. Anyone who genuinely wants to help this girl out...put some cash in an envelope and make arrangements to drop it off...no strings attached. The first time it happened I was broke with no way of earning anything and an acquaintance slipped $50 into my hand. I cried. Later envelopes arrived at my lawyers office from numerous people and to this day my faith in the goodness of people is the foundation of my being. I don't know what I would have done without these acts of kindness. Being a guardian angel has its benefits... Catherine

My userid is "cat"... Catherine

Loki318 I'm sorry to hear about your layup. Recovery can be very trying and requires patience which I have found many lack. As for your questions I have had a couple of very cool managers who figured it out, winked and never gave me reason to relocate but that was down south and I had an agency so it didn't take a genius to figure it out. Here in Canada I have never had a problem. If they know, they simply continue to do their job and let me do mine. Take the time the doctor ordered and get well. Best of luck to you! Catherine

Sage advice from all here, it's a different experience everytime you walk thru the door even if you have seen me several times before. An introductory email that arrives in my box with a list of acronyms will be deleted if vulgar or advised to look elsewhere. For me it's not because the games are unpalatable but the mentality behind it is. In my mind it elicits a dog show. Do you jump thru hoops, run the ramps and steps, walk expertly on a leash and sit still for treats? I do realize the necessity of ensuring you are going to have fun but entertaining is so much more to me and I like to spend precious time with people who are looking for so much more... Catherine

I love the "are you a natural redhead"? LMAO! At my age...who is all natural? Did I start out a redhead...YES! But does it really matter? My roof matches my front door and my shutters. Or "how smooth are your feet", "how does your ass feel" and last but not least "do you really enjoy it"? WTF is "it"? There are no stupid questions if asked in the right context, but sometimes.... Catherine

The puppy grew up to be a wonderful addition in my menagerie which had 2 minature horses, several dogs, a bearded dragon, a green winged macaw, several small furry balls (gerbils or something), a dwarf rabbit and 5 little girls. He was with us until I ran into the US Federal agents and then he ended up with one of my girls from my agency whom I knew would love him the way he had become accustomed to. He is still her faithful companion, his name is Lucky and is now 12 years old according to our calculations... Catherine

I was surprised to this thread revived, but for all the newcomers who don't visit the old threads it's always good reading. I add to it because during my last visit to Ottawa I had a wonderful conversation with a guest. He was new to the hobby and had a million questions and I tried to answer all of them to the best of my ability. A 2 hour visit ended up being much longer because our chat made the time fly. He has a wonderful spirit and was really eager to understand the nuances. We talked about considerations, the vast differences in fee structures and why it's necessary. He had looked long and hard at his options before booking our time together, but he isn't here on the board so many of his questions were issues that are covered in threads here. The three points that I tried to drive home were this... 1. My considerations are not "payment" for my time. The envelope is left because my guests enjoy visiting with me and if I had another job I would not have time to entertain. If my financial responsibilities are not taken care of then I can't entertain, the consideration is their contribution to ensuring we have the time to enjoy. I know this isn't the way all providers look at this, but it's accurate for me. 2. Tips, no matter how much they are, are always symbolic and allow providers to know they are appreciated. They are not expected and never impact the quality of our time together. 3. Respect is the key. Showing respect to a provider and treating her well will go further than any amount of money in the envelope. I can tell those that are accustomed to treating people well, and those that don't. Do not think a tip is expected, most providers do not look for them. But even a $20 makes a girl smile. If she is in the lower end of the consideration scale the little add ons definitely add up and can make things easier at the end of the month. I've always said I would rather ask a 1000 people for a dollar than a $1000 from one person... Catherine

This can seem like a tricky situation, but it really is very straight forward. It does depend on the situation, as Sir Cowboy says if it's bait and switch do not follow thru with the visit even if she's a 10. An agency girl can be tricky because you have no guarantee about the chemistry. Just conduct yourself in a gentlemanly way and please ensure her out of pocket expenses are covered. I had an occasion where there was a $150 driving fee (he lived in BFE!) and when I arrived the deal breaker was he didn't like my hair so I departed empty handed. But I still had to cover my drivers fee. I have had "no clicks" for numerous reasons over the years and the only ones that irked me were the ones that didn't open the door. The one that stands out in my mind first and foremost was a country place, really redneck with a truck on blocks, a trailer for a guest house and junk everywhere. He didn't answer the door. Outside the front door was a puppy that looked like he had missed many meals and was starved for affection. This little Heinz 57 followed me back to my car then followed my car out the driveway. I stopped, scooped the puppy and kept going. My phone rang almost immediately, the agency was calling because the guy called freaking out because I stole his puppy! I considered my new friend a cancellation fee and laughed that the guy was standing in his livingroom as I was banging on his door but it took stealing his dog to get him to respond. Go figure! It's important that an encounter work for you, follow your instincts and handle yourself appropriately and you shouldn't have a problem. Just remember that if you booked thru an agency and the description isn't entirely accurate it isn't the girls fault. Descriptions are subjective and handlers are trying to make the appointment work. They know the lady and may realize she really sweet with a certain charm that is only realized after someone has the chance to try her out. I have had girls work for me that physically I didn't find all that appealing, but the clients loved them. Yes, we had some clients refuse on appearance, but those that took the leap were never disappointed. If you do your homework first you will lessen the chance of her not being your type. If it happens, be upfront and polite... Catherine

My Darling Dummpy, Congratulations! I'm so very glad you won, I know the kind of contributions you make to our little community outside of this board. You are truly appreciated in so many ways.... Your friend...Cat

You're absolutely right antlerman, never leave anyone with a sour taste in their mouths. Congratulations jughead and good luck! Catherine

I believe that the environment is a direct extension of the provider. There have been times when I had less than desirable locations and I find it makes it difficult to set the tone for the visit. What is important to remember is the variables in the equation. The cost involved in setting up a location can be overwhelming for a beginner or someone who is entertaining part time. If she is an "end of the month" provider (meaning she only entertains when there is a shortage of money) then you very well may get the fruitloops in the couch and laundry on the kitchen table because the children have just been dropped at Granny's for the night and now has to get her bootie in gear to ensure the rent check clears. She usually knows things should be put together better, but with her full time job and raising her babies it's hard to find the time. Full time independents take time and invest heavily in their surroundings but their considerations reflect that and many guests have a budget to respect. It all boils down to what you want to spend. It is a challenge, but there are always quality providers out there within a reasonable budget. Letting a provider know that her place was less than desirable is tricky, but I would rather someone tell me than just go on the hunt for someone else... Catherine