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There are many threads that address individual issues that come during the course of our days in this wonderful hobby, and while surfing I have come across several good outlines for conducting oneself. But they fail to address the intricacies that often confuse hobbyists and SP?s alike. I would like feedback from both sides, as I have been compiling a ?how to? especially designed for this industry. This is a chance for people to put in their likes and dislikes and will help newbies by giving them a playbook that will help them maneuver their way thru. I would like to address any and every suggestion that covers a given situation that you have been in personally that you can see someone else having to figure out. It has been an ongoing project this year and I would like to have it finished by summer?s end. So if you have any situations that you feel are worthy of being addressed, let?s get them out here so we can discuss them?. Catherine

Miss Alexa, It's good to see you back! I have missed your sass and wit... Catherine

Dear insidevoice, I am, a Tar heel thru and thru... Catherine

Down south, I use to do a lot of event organizing for gentlemen and one weekend we had a bachelor party for a racing team. It started Friday evening with a night out at the Crazy Horse, which is a top notch gentlemans club. We arrived, 4 limo's full of already drunk men and SPs and we descended on this establishment will a very "no holds barred" attitude. It didn't take long before one of the men ended up on a chair on stage with a bevy of beautiful topless women putting on a show. He had been drinking prior to the evening getting started and could barely stay seated so they tied him down. They proceeded to pour titty shooters down his throat for the entire show which lasted 6 songs He was red in the face from struggling to catch a nipple with everyone was hooting,hollering and causing a ruckus. They finally let him up, and as he stood up staggered left and stepped right off the stage! 4 foot drop onto a beer station with tubs of beer that broke his fall, and his femur! It took us a minute to assess the damage and realize he needed a hospital asap. As I was the organizer, I was the only sober one there. So off we go in the limo to find an emergency room. As we pull into the hospital, I realize that I am not dressed for the occasion, with a fishnet bodystocking, lingerie, a red maribou duster, big southern "Dolly Parton" hair and makeup and street legal stripper shoes! Always the trooper, I sucked it up and got out, found a wheelchair and the driver and I poured this poor soul into it. There was blood everywhere from a forehead gash that wasn't serious but made a helleva mess. He looked like he had been on the losing side of bar brawl. What a sight! The driver wheeled him into the triage as I rifled thru his jacket trying to find his wallet with his ID, but it had fallen out at the club. The triage nurse gives the three of us a long hard look, like she should know us, and I start to squirm. This guy is a bit of a local celebrity and is so drunk can barely spell his name. As she starts to fill out the paperwork, the lightbulb click on and her jaw drops. He had this insanely clean cut public image and everyone toted him as a "good boy". Good Boy my ass, he was a naughty as they come! Shows what a good PR rep can do. Anyway, back to the story. We are moved to a private room to wait as the other people in the waiting room start to recognize him but as we wait, every nurse, doctor, orderly and janitor on the grounds had to come, take a look at the Madam, her driver, this poor guy and get an autograph. The reactions were priceless and everyone had a good laugh at our expense. While all this is going on, I am standing there, looking every bit the lead from "The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas"! It took us 7 hours and about 30 autographs to have his leg set, and get the hell outta there. Being the true cowboy he was, we headed back to the party which was scheduled to roll until Sunday afternoon. 3 hours later, he is on the golf course, in a cart, with his buddies, using a full strength Coors and Jack Daniels prescription for the pain. The entire weekend is worthy of this thread and I will add more to this later. The golfing that day was every bit as funny! Catherine

Darling insidevoice, Given my track record with men, it wouldn't be in your best intersts, I assure you! I am a much better lease than a purchase, but thank you! The sentiment makes a girl smile all day... Catherine

Snuggling is a joy unto itself! As we say at home "the Beafters need to be as good as the Befores!" When it comes to playing with an SP it depends on who you are with. Being able to enjoy the entire visit is the reason I only book 2 hour sessions. I like to have at least 30 minutes to indulge in the cool off. Experiencing the ultimate collapse with limbs atangle, both of us gasping for breath leads to the saturation of endorphins that are raging thru our systems and leaves our beings tingling with warmth. The natural progession is to bask in the sweat, feel your lovers heart beat and their breath on your skin. To sit present with the moment and soak it in is the ultimate conclusion to a great session. Once the heart rate has slowed, fingers trails across sensitive skin bring aftershocks that ripple thru the body and wring the final sensations out of our being. This entire experience can only happen with the proximity that comes with snuggles. It's mandatory in my books... Catherine

Funny that happened to you! I had an episode remarkably similar to yours. He was a great guy, when I arrived he was just showering. Built like a teddy bear, it only took a moment before we had assessed the need for small talk was pointless and we were rolling around in this great 4 poster bed. I was having too much fun, and things were getting a little wild. Toys were everywhere and when I suggested we try a little anal stimulator, he gladly agreed. Got everything set up, and then rolled him on his back and started having my way with him. It didn't take long before it ended in a mutual screamfest. As I snuck down to remove the toy, it was gone! All that showed was the ring of rolled latex! I looked at him, and gently tried to dislodge the vanishing plug, but I could tell without a little help the latex would rip and the toy would be left to the bodys natural devices. He got this panicked look on his face as I told him to push. He tried, but it didn't work. So I got him to roll over on his knees, prone, and try again. By this time, I was giggling and couldn't stop. All he kept saying was "GET IT THE FUCK OUT!", which for some reason made me laugh even harder. I could tell this was freaking him out, so I was rubbing his back trying to get him to relax and push. Even tried the Lamaze breathing with him. It wasn't working so I told him the story of when I lost a set of benwah balls in my ex's girlfriend, we couldn't get them out, the ex was due home anytime, she was panicking that he would find out and I finally had to fish them out by the string with a jumbo plastic flat crochet hook. Finally he started to laugh and gave a push and out it came! We laughed so hard, and the rest of the evening was spent playing with intermissions to tell silly stories. I was amazed when he set up his second appointment! He certainly is one for adventures! Catherine

Like Joyful C, I have had more bloopers than I care to remember. But one that never fails to make me giggle is a visit I had with a guest a number of years ago. Picture "The Gentle Giant". He was a giant of a man, 6'5 or 6'6 and everything in his life was super sized. The house was custom built with lofty ceilings and oversized doors, and all the furniture was scaled to suit him perfectly which meant I needed a ladder to get on the couch. I, of course, am a smurf. 5'3, paint me blue and I fit under everyones arm. For some reason, he took a fancy to me, and I visited his overly enormous house on many occasions. Due to his size, he had some unusual hobbies, one of which was breeding British bull mastiffs. Some of these dogs stood shoulder to shoulder with me and altho they were gentle, I was constantly being knocked off my feet when they would come to greet me as I got out of my car. The dogs ruled the man and the only way to control them was to lock them out of the house. They were like spoiled children and listened to no one. The pet door was big enough that I could walk thru it with just a slight stoop and the dogs had free reign over the 200+acres that he occupied. After dusting myself off and managing to get to the house, he would welcome me in and lock the pet door to keep them out of our way. I don't have alot of tolerance for pets that are not well behaved and tried to get him to pen the dogs when I was coming but he said it put the females in a testy mood, so he would rather just lock them out of the house after my arrival. One evening, we had finally moved things to the bedroom and after much play had assumed his favorite position with me bent over the bed, legs dangling and bottom offered up. He stood behind me and things were progessing nicely for both of us when he started going wild! I held on for dear life, quite sure he was going to split me in two, when he started screaming about me doing something that was incredible. I wasn't doing anything but scrambling to maintain my hold on the sheets and pray for the tilt-a-whirl ride to be over when he exploded and collapsed on my back with shudders that vibrated my teeth. As he regained his composure, he started to tell me that whatever I was doing was so mindblowing that he had never felt anything like it. At that point I was wondering if I had left my remote egg in and it turned on by itself, as I had no idea what he was talking about. When he started to extricate himself, he stepped backwards and tripped ass over tea kettle on his back! One of his dogs had come into the bedroom and was seated directly behind him licking her chops. As far as we could figure, she came in without us hearing her and the scent of us brought her over and she licked the juices off his balls while we were playing, thus the something "incredible". As the realization that his dog had participated in this, his stomach turned on him, and he spent the next 30 mins in the bath, tossing his cookies and muttering about "not being into beastiality". I laughed so hard it offended him and I was never invited back. To this day, I can see his face, with that moment of clarity in which he realized he had been finessed to the finish line by his favorite bitch! Catherine

Isn't it? I absolutely agree that whether the emotions flow before or after, it always leaves me smiling! Catherine

In grief counselling this called "replacing the loss" and isn't a viable answer. You have to allow yourself the time process the emotions so that you can participate in a new relationship fully. It is a common practice that takes place and usually leads to people getting involved without being able to give fully of themselves. Take the time to grieve and complete the intitial loss and the next relationship will have a chance... Catherine

I love the responses to this thread! The fact that there has been so much caring and thought put into the replies, shows the tenderness at hand. Many of you realize that I don?t really fit into the SP box that most think of when one pictures the role of the SP in someone?s life, so I have a bit of a different take on the emotional aspects in this realm. This post is long, and on the reread I can?t find anything to delete, so accept my apology in advance for the length of this conscious stream of thought that follows. That said, what I say here may or may not apply to any and all. Playing devil?s advocate, I would like to ask, what is wrong with a broken heart? In our society we shun the things that have been labeled painful or hurtful. What is missed is that true emotional growth only comes from the challenges that we call pain. Loving, in my opinion, is always a good thing, even when I know it is going to end. Emotionally, as a society we are closed off most of the time. We shield our personal lives from our work, and vice versa. We keep our friends at arm?s length and build walls to ensure that we don?t have to deal with anything ?painful?. The answer is that we are programmed from childhood that anything negative is to be avoided at all costs. Children are soothed in a hurry when something normal and natural happens, instead of being allowed to experience the emotions and learn to process them. They become adults and spend their lives avoiding anything painful instead of experiencing life as it was meant to be lived. I love to watch the reactions when someone cries in public. Adults squirm in their seats and try and vacate as quickly as possible. Why? There is no reason to shift in our seats unless we intentionally caused the tears, and even then, unless it was a malicious intention why the discomfort? We all experience the broad range of emotions we are designed to feel. Without the hurt, how would we know what made us feel good? If it doesn?t rain, how do we truly learn to appreciate the sunshine? Why are we so afraid to love? I thrive on loving; it?s why I do what I do. I love the guests I have the honor of getting to know. Not the ?you need to leave your wife? kind of love, but the kind that is there unconditionally. Liking the qualities of someone, but loving the faults and watching as someone realizes how truly lovable they are, is my favorite aspect of what I do. I am usually the rebound girl, my guests come to me when the realization hits that life goes on after a D has hit, (death, divorce, desertion) and they are feeling lost and out of touch. Hobbyists make up a small portion of my day, the rest is filled with men who are moving forward and figuring out what?s next. They are the monogamous souls that really want a long term relationship but are not ready. They come to me to reassure themselves they can lie with another woman other than the one that is gone. What they learn is that the world continues to turn and they are going to be fine. I am not a traditional SP, I sometimes develop very intimate relationships with my guests. I give as much as they do. I never utter the words, because I know the effect words like that have, but it doesn?t change the emotions that are felt, and I have heard the precious words more often than I can count. Would I change it? Not a chance! It is needed to allow them to realize that they can still love. People confuse the chemical reaction of falling in love with real love and we are all susceptible. In my career I have two guests that I fell in love with. Both are still close friends that I maintain contact with almost daily. Fortunately common sense prevailed as we realized that the chemicals had taken over and were governing us. Were there tears? Of course! But we rode them out and the relationships morphed into something much deeper and dearer than the heart pounding, mind boggling sense that comes with the ?in love? mantra. I have had numerous marriage proposals, ring and financial statement in hand. They were the White Knights who were looking to save me from ?this life?, when I did not need saving. The other guests, I watch with wonder as they gain confidence and start to move towards finding what makes them happy. I have had the privilege of attending weddings that happened after guests reached the realization that they can love again, and move on. I govern myself with one rule, tell the truth about myself. The emotions that follow will happen; I experience them, learn from them and continue to grow. Don?t be afraid to cry or to laugh, to love and most important don?t be afraid to lose. It is an integral part of who we are as human beings and it is what makes us what we are. Catherine

As loneskater and dummpy have said, it depends on the SP and her preference. I do suggest that you do all of the research well beforehand. What hours an SP works and the demographic she caters to are critical to narrowing the search. A couple of days a week, I welcome my first guest thru the door as early as 5am, so a last minute request that arrives at dinner to play at 9pm will probably be declined. But if it is booked in advance, I can arrange my day to accomodate. For me it's all about being prepared and at my best when you walk thru door. If I am not going to be 100%, then I decline. I have standing appointments so I can look at my calendar for the month and have a general idea of my availablility for inquiries that arrive closer to the desired date. I really like it when the guest sends a couple of times that are convenient for him because it gives me the opportunity to accomodate if I can. I also give preference to a guest who includes his name and a contact number when dealing with short notice appointments. I recieve an average of 5 "can you see me today" emails, and usually only have a couple of openings per week. The emails that seem genuine and interesting are the ones that catch my attention. It boils down to knowing what you want and who fits the bill well ahead of time. Do your research, and have your options infront of you when you decide to go play. A gentle reminder is that if you are declined due to time restrictions, please don't take it personally and try again another time. Catherine

Having a hard time seeing thru the tears on this one and my brain is a little foggy. Can anyone help find out when and where the funeral is? Catherine

This is an excellent thread, as the inquiries here certainly can be a concern. I side with Christine when it comes to seeing younger men. There has be some indication we are on the same page before I will have a visit with someone under 30. The main reason is the expectations are often very different, they haven't yet learned the true nature of a great encounter. I find the more cerebral young men far more advanced in this arena. If I recieve a picture of a buff rugby player with genitals exposed, I pass. Actually, pictures attached to a first email do not help in my case, because if you are handsome, it seems cocky. I find techies to be wonderful at any age, and acedemics are a delight when they cross my path. As for the little blue demon, my guests know that unless there is a medical reason, I prefer it not be used. Nothing is more frustrating than spending 3 hours having big fun and having my guest walk out with things unfinished on his end. It's like having a dinner guest go home hungry. Catherine

Dear gbod, She had a friend who helped her with an apartment, and then she zero'd. Hasn't returned calls or txts for over a month. I think she wasn't up for this right now and she was wise to withdraw when she did until she is stronger. If and when she resurfaces, the board will be the first to know... Catherine

First and foremost, Paige, I am so sorry! It is easy for square women to point the finger and blame the harlot, but we all know they are acting out of fear, anger, and hurt. Deep down they know this isn't our problem, it's theirs. We are the women that take care of the men that square women love to ignore. Period. Hold your head high and know there is no shame in our profession. After my thread concerning wives getting our numbers I was also contacted by a girlfriend then a wife via email. The girlfriend was very nice, and she actually had nothing to worry about. Her man had a change of heart before the couch conversation was over and left after laying his heart on his sleeve. I reassured her that he had the thoughts but the actions never followed. The rest is up to them to work out. The wife however was livid, and unleashed on me with unholy venom only mustered by a betrayed woman. It was terrible, for her and for me. I spent hours writing emails back and forth, explaining some of the intricacies of our industries, the motivations behind the actions and then got her to a place where she started to realize that if you leave you man waiting month to month there will be repercussions. We had lunch this week, and I think I got it cooled down. He was staying with family until they have a chance to figure out what to do next. Children involved, so it could be very messy, or it could be a wake up call to deal with things and move on. Again, this is now up to them to work out. Both of these women have the entire email exchanges, including my incall location which means I will be pulling up stakes sooner than later and finding somewhere else to lay your heads. This is ABSOLUTELY UNCALLED FOR!!! It is a guests responsibility to ensure they take the necessary precautions to protect themselves and us. Hit delete, or whatever the fuck needs doing!!!!! Catherine

Ahhhh, sorry Marie! I will check it out and PM you the information. Catherine

Take a peek at the SP section, there is a thread on good/bad places to stay. My personal favorites are The Albert at Bay and the Minto, but there is some excellent input from other providers to check out. Catherine

Dear Marie, If you are doing weekends, run Thursday noon till checkout on Sunday then. Trust me, unless you want to cater to the late night drunk dialers. The day men are the ones that consistently put $ in the kitty in this town. They are wonderful to entertain, and good for the spirit... Catherine

Dear Marie, The timing in this city is a crap shoot until you get your client base established. I find daytime incalls to work if you are downtown because you can accomodate those wishing to sneak out of the office for a bit. But with new clients be prepared for a high percentage of no shows, cancellations and reschedules in the beginning. Have patience tho, once the time wasters run thru the churn, the cream rises and it becomes a much less frequent event. I find Thursday thru Mondays to work best, and be prepared to keep the room Monday night if possible. Now is a really difficult time to get rooms, there is so much happening in the city and the good hotels book. I always like to have list of hotels handy so I can find something if needed. Good luck! Catherine

I think the bottom line on this is that SP's do not expect a gratuity, and when one is recieved, the thought is always appreciated. In a society where SP's are given no validation publicly, it falls to those who use our services to give us a pat on the back sometimes. My guests have often heard me say that I am blessed because incredible people seem to fall in my lap, and that is the real "thank you". Ottawa is full of men who embrace us as we are, for who we are and show us they care in a multitude of ways. I give everything I can to my guests because I know the ultimate sense of satisfaction that comes from knowing I have put 100% into a situation. Over the years, I have found that people respond in spades and Ottawa is no exception. My input to this thread was not a demand for more money, but simply to let people know that girls in our situations really, truly appreciate the little extra, if you have it to give. If not, please know a genuine, heartfelt thank you is more than enough. My hat is off to the gentlemen of this board for their input and their willingness to discuss something sticky like this without getting their tigglies in a wink. I salute you! Catherine

I would assume it would depend on the delivery of the nail, my Stanley B air nailer pointed in the wrong direction would leave one, at the least, comatose! A lot less messy to kill oneself with tobacco... Catherine

Good point antlerman, I was looking at it last night. I just know that women don't fit into little boxes, so anything that is about their person is tremendously subjective. I have always found anything that tries to classify people to be somewhat inaccurate due to an individuals perception. It's difficult to put the essence of someone on a graph. We will have to see... Catherine

Darling Pistol Pete, If you reread my thread, you will see I made allowances for those of you who are bankable. Your continued support to the SP's in Ottawa is exceptional as your posts show. The information was directed at the other 90% of the board who simply read and don't post. The ones that dabble, see someone occasionally and will tie up time with email for weeks trying to decide who to see, figure out the rules and understand. Regardless of the amount of the consideration, if a guest is not going to be a reliable client, and the service is there, a tip in place of a gift is always preferable. I have thrown out boxes of chocolates, underwear that don't fit, and composted flowers thinking that the $ could have been better spent if handed to me. I have many a guest who could show up with an IOU in an envelope and they would still leave smiling, for they have proven to me time and again they genuinely care. It isn't the money per say, it is the understanding of our situations that dictate whether a gift shows true insight and caring. If what a girl really needs is to put up her tuition or put braces on her child, do toys really help that along? If you know your SP, you will know what is really important to her, and your choice of tip can reflect that. Catherine

Darling Jla, You are so very welcome! Sometimes you just have to close your eyes, step off the cliff and trust you will land safely! I am so glad you enjoyed yourself, I had a great time with you. Thank you. I hope this visit will alleviate your hesitation the next time you want to venture out into this wonderful world. Smile, I will remember... Catherine