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Ahhh, the ?tipping? debate! I noticed there was a decided void in SP response so I will take a minute to share my thoughts? From an agency girl perspective, tipping is often a way to generate extra income because after they pay the agency and the driver, they usually end up on the short end of the stick. 10 years ago, I ran for an agency, we collected $260 for an hour, with $110 going to the house, $40-$100 to the driver depending on where the visit was located, which left me maximum of $110 with as little as $10 in my pocket. With a $15 book on fee and mandatory car cell phone fees of $25 per night, I needed 3 full fees per night to make working worthwhile, God forbid I get credit card calls, which somehow always worked out us getting nothing. We were not allowed to refuse a call so we had to find creative ways to ensure we were paid. Tipping for extra service was the only way to keep our heads above water. The nice thing was that we had a shift, we worked, and we went home and had a life. That said, it was unfair to the guest who would end up with less than what he expected because he was not prepared for the extra fees. Independents are in a slightly different boat. We usually have a higher upfront fee, but we also assume ALL the costs incurred, which is far more than many realize. If we charged what we feel we should to get our ROI, the protests would be heard long and loud. Many Indies have a smaller bottom line than an ambitious girl at a well run agency. So when it comes to tips, many things need to be considered. In the south, SP's are tipped much in the same manner as a restaurant. Anyone walking a restaurant wouldn?t consider walking out without leaving a tip if everything was satisfactory. I tip everyone in the service industry, from the girl who washes my hair, to the man at Suny?s who pumps my gas because a little bit from many adds up at the end of the day. Flowers and trinkets are lovely in thought, but a girl can?t deposit wilted stems into an RRSP, and my bank doesn?t seem to take dildos, massage oil, garter belts or silk stockings on deposit -go figure! As Joyful C has so wisely stated, most SP?s live a fragile existence financially. We provide an illusion of playful luxury for our guests benefit, but rest assured, 90% of the time it is smoke and mirrors. Behind the scenes we struggle to pay our bills, put diapers on our babies and try to take care of those we love, all the while working on a way to get to a normal existence if that does in fact even exist. An extra $20 from each client equals a full appointment by the end of the week, and at the end of the month that pays the cell phone, buys the groceries and lets us take the little ones away for the weekend after we have paid both rents (home and incall), all our advertising, babysitters, hydro, car repairs, personal maintenance and the same expenses everyone else has. Not to mention the monthly payments on augmentation, lifts, tucks and anything else to keep us up to the exceptionally high standards expected if we want to continue making money in this arena. There are few SP?s who can keep up the daily client service to ensure long term financial viability in this business because of the emotional and physical toll this business extracts which sometimes means extended time offs to get our heads, hearts and bodies back in order. We have no paid holidays, benefits or paid personal days. If there is a crisis that forces us to take time off, we lose money and clients which often means we work regardless of illness, pain or any other of lifes challenges. Each SP has her own reasons for working, but the universal element is that we all are trying to achieve some sort of financial stability. I never expect tips, and I can count on one hand how many I have received since my arrival in Canada because of the nature of the business here. Hate to tell you guys, but Canadian men are not known for their generous nature, they rank a close second to Germans in this realm (I think the outlandishly high taxes inflicted in both countries has something to do with it!). I would never expect a tip from guests that have me on retainer, I see them weekly. But unless you are going to be a bankable commodity in a SP?s life, a tip relative to the quality of service is a sure way to say thank you and have her know you mean it... Catherine

Incalls can be tricky depending on your area. One of the reasons for not having an incall is the added cost. My overhead for my location runs about $3000/month. When looking at your bottom line it can really take a chunk out of your income if there isn't a demand for it. When you factor in the advertising and time spent booking appointments, a location can seem a little overwhelming when you are struggling to pay your rent to put a roof over your babies heads. It can also be more dangerous, because a disgruntled guest knows where to find you. An SP with an impeccable service record can come across someone who isn't wired right and if she is there alone, it can go very wrong. That said, I love entertaining on my own turf. In a city like Ottawa, it's a must for the daytime rendezvous. My suggestion is that you find someone you really enjoy and then work something out. Sometimes all it takes is a guest willing to help offset the intial cost... Catherine

Dear troy71, Be very careful what you wish for, you just may get it. But if you don't clarify the wish, you could end up as the betrothed of a shrew! I agree with reggit, a marriage is so much more than just what happens behind closed doors. In my experience, a relationship goes thru phases and as these phases happen, it is important to realize your partners limitations. As wife and mother, I remember nights I would have paid for an SP out of the milk money for my husband. He definitely deserved better than my tired ass! I remember just wanting it over with so I could get some sleep before the babies woke up. While in full blown "Mommy" mode, most women simply "take care" of his needs as they do everything else, out of necessity not because they want to play. They want to be held, cuddled, stroked and soothed. On rare occasions, when the stars align they want to romp. But what about the men the rest of the time? "Mommy" mode comes to an end eventually and the drive in her will return. Why would you cut loose a woman who is a good mother, friend and life partner for something you can temporarily outsource? There are as many reasons as the stars for gentlemen to seek outside solace. I have yet to have a guest who genuinely wanted out of his marriage, when he looked at the big picture. Seldom is the wandering to an SP a symptom of other issues, otherwise he would be having an emotional affair with someone who is open to falling in love. Most of the time it's done to relieve the little missus of the hassle of putting out when she is simply too tired to. Humans have 5 basic needs in order to survive. We can't function without them... 1. Air 2. Water 3. Food 4. Shelter 5. Physical contact It is always easy to sit and judge, but until you have walked in anothers shoes it is always prudent to have a clear overview of the situation. There are many who would love the chance to have a great relationship and if you are proactive you can make it happen. But once you have the girl of your dreams, what do you do when she rolls over night after night after night after a kiss on the cheek and goes to sleep? Trade her in? After all the work it took to find her, woo her and finally land her? My bet would be you would simply find another way to scratch the itch. Good women are too hard to find... Catherine

With that waist length hair, Paige can easily do middle-eastern... Catherine

Great answer! C

Dearest shypilot, Point taken, but it does happen. I am fairly quick thinking on my feet, and immediately asked why they were calling my husbands cell phone. I then explained he was married with children, and that in the event of a divorce he would be left penniless and I would torture him until the end of time. (for those that don't know me, that is so far from the truth of who I am, I would never torture anyone!) The silence on the other end was time enough for me to tell her never to call back and if I ever found out who she was, we would meet and it would not be pretty. It is a tricky situation because suspicious women are like blood hounds and are so bent on finding out the "truth" they usually don't think about what they are going to do with it once it is found. If all this thread does is to serve as a reminder to be careful and keep your call lists clear then it is worth it. Also remember detailed billing can be deadly also. I would genuinely like to hear some other suggestions as to how to handle this so it minimizes the tension on the other end. Catherine

Gentlemen, Recently I have recieved a couple of phone calls from women who have located my number on their significant others phone. As most of you know, I prefer email for all communications and my phone number is not public information. Occasionally I will forward my cell in the event a guest feels there may be timing or logistical issues, but it is rare. This leads me to believe that many of you do not erase numbers from your call list. I am wondering how many of you actually have an SP's number programmed in? In the event we receive a phone call, how would you suggest we handle it? Suggestions would be very welcome... Catherine

Darling girorok66, Bringing a new costume is always welcome, but usually good ones need to be tried on first. I prefer to get the details ironed out via email, then go and pick one out. I then leave it on layaway and my guest goes and picks it up prior to the meeting. If my guest doesn't have time, I will bring it home, and he simply adds the cost of the items to my consideration. There are many ways to handle it, all it takes is good communication to make things happen the way it should. Catherine

When it comes to variations like costumes, I find most SP's open if the guest is willing to help absorb the costs. I get requests almost weekly for something specific, and while I don't add the cost on to the appointment, it is an expensive accumulation that adds to our operating overhead. Good costumes run anywhere from $ to $$$$. A quick mental calculation puts my specialty wear around $8000-9000 replacement value for the last year, and at most have only been worn a couple of times. At the Rideau, I found an incredibly hot little PVC nurses costume, $$$ and didn't include undergarments, shoes or stockings. The outfit would total around $$$$$ if done properly, and if it isn't done well, the session just doesn't cut it. My gentle suggestion is to decide if this is a one-time thrill, or something you will continue to want then choose your playmate and take her shopping. If it's a one time, hit Malabars on Merivale, they have things in the $ range. If it's a game you plan on playing a while, go to the Goth store in the Rideau. They have some lines that are exceptional quality and will withstand anything. Bottom line is to be willing to invest in the experience. There may be a little more up front costs, but the bottom line will show it's worth it. Catherine P.S. Leave the costume with the provider, we can tell when something comes in that has been worn before and it's icky to put something on we didn't wash ourselves! C

Dear volvolater, How did you know I am a dedicated Volvo driver? Definitely my ride of choice... Catherine

My Darling Pretty Paige, I have always found Yoda completely tappable as he is! What a brain! As I have told you, you don't have far to go baby girl. You are spectacular! Lots of hugs and those "oh so sweet" kisses! Catherine

Don't want to sound like a nag but "I TOLD YOU SO!" Catherine

Darling Bethany, He is a tall, cool drink isn't he! Such a delight.... Catherine

Dear MB, I have never had the opportunity to meet Alexandra Heart, therefore I do not know her medical history, and would never imply she is unsafe. She may be one of the lucky ones that are not prone to these things. Often SP?s who offer these services have an understanding with the clients they play with, if there is ever an issue the communication is quick and discrete. How does one know that an SP is safe? How do SP?s know that a client is safe? There is no way to tell without walking into the clinic together and exchanging test results. To Everyone We humans have short memories and too much faith in the medical establishment. I am a product of the AIDs era, and I put friends in the ground that died because they didn?t like the feel of latex. It is a life lesson I will never forget. This thread brought to light an old question in my mind. What is it about that thin layer of wet lubrication that makes it logical to put ones health at risk? Knowing that an appointment will not go thru because of this could cause an SP that is in a difficult situation to make a bad decision that could impact her life forever. What is it about an unsafe experience that outweighs the way we, the SP?s, touch, the way we look, the way we make you feel or the soul we put into our work? Everyone has moments, where there is lapse in judgement or perhaps a change of S.O.P. but when this behavior is the seeming norm? Catherine

Dear MB, There are many theories concerning immune system vulnerability. Prevention is an individual’s responsibility. When the topic of HiV is at hand, it is important to remember that SP’s have no dental insurance, and many of us go years without dental care. That leaves us prone to sores in our mouths, thus making us more vulnerable than the general public. The risk is not the same as other activities, but it there. This also leaves us more vulnerable to everything else also. A pretty smile does not ensure a healthy mouth. When it comes to other infections, there are many different things to factor in, and most of the generally accepted medical theories of today are just that…theories. We still do not understand the intricate workings of the immune system, and there are new discoveries almost daily that blow the current conceptions out of the water. There is no way to guarantee that you will not contract something, even with protection. The best defense is barrier protection. There always needs to be the distinction made between STD’s and STI’s, and most people are unaware of the differences. For an SP, an STI will hurt your reputation and put you on the bench until you are cured. An STD will retire you. A disease is not curable, although it can be managed. It is our personal responsibility to know the difference and know the symptoms to watch for. There are both infections and diseases however, that have no symptoms and men never manifest physical symptoms. But that doesn’t stop them from passing it on to a partner who may develop symptoms, or just end up sterile. These diseases can be passed with kissing as well as more intimate contact. Touch wood, I have never had anything. I have a host of old wives remedies that I use in the event of a barrier breach, but I feel in my bones that my luck comes from my blood type and constitution. I know my body and the minute there is something off, I feel it. Not everyone is so fortunate. Playing without protection is Russian roulette, always remember it. Catherine

From antlermans first post, this thread has left me more than a little stunned? As each post was added, the feeling simply magnified. Each and every one of you is someone I truly enjoy and care about. To see your words in print means more to me than you can ever know. I know the words are from the heart. There are so many wonderful ladies here in Ottawa; I have a hard time believing I deserve to be singled out like this. Deserving or not, thank you. Catherine

What everyone has failed to factor in is that whether you rent or buy you are doing it with after tax dollars and if an "assest" doesn't add actual cashflow to a situation, it is in fact a liability! Every dollar should be viewed as an "employee" and produce a return in your assest column. I agree with Dummpy, real estate isn't the best analogy, the car lease makes more sense. When the lease is up, you have a "buy out" which is always more than the car is worth. As for renting out the unused time with a "purchase", I happen to think it would do most relationships a world of good. A woman who feels desired and is in touch with her inner vixen is always more fulfilled, and nothing says "I want you" more than an envelope on the dresser! I would take the glow of the envelope over paying off my credit cards any day... Catherine

He had better be well rested on Friday because he'll be with me in the evening, so best make patio plans for Sunday. He will need Saturday for his legs to stop shaking! Catherine

Think of the cost if you buy, then rent on the side! Catherine

Dear FalconHawk, It sounds like you have had a bad experience, for that I am sorry. Please, don't lump all SPs together. Ottawa is full of great talent, and the attitude here is exceptional. Ottawa is not Montreal, I will give you that. We are a government city, thus appearing fairly anal, but under the surface it is a great city, full of great people. I have worked from Atlanta to The Sault and the women in Ottawa are heads above when it comes to professionalism and committment to providing quality service. Maybe it's time to try on someone else for size? If you give any one of us the opportunity, I think you will be pleasantly surprised.... Catherine

Darling Ekimout, Thank you, that is wonderful idea! I think that is an appropriate "next step" as she is well on her way to joining the ranks of SPs on EC. The pictures will be taken as soon as she is ready, and then her ad will be up. She is a lovely woman, with spirit and offers soooo much more than the vision such a debasing acronym infers. So gentlemen, from now on, let's just call her Eve... Catherine

Gentlemen, I don't mean to put a damper on the BB thing but.... Eve changed her policy when she learned that she can contract hiv,syphilis, gonorrhea, chlamydia, herpes, and a host of other transmittable diseases in her mouth and then pass them on to others orally who will then take them home to their significant others and anyone else they choose to expose it to. A wise choice on her part, in my opinion considering the consequences for all involved. It's important to remember, everyones immune system operates a different capacities. Just because one person has managed to play unsafe and never contracted anything, doesn't mean someone else isn't going to get something. The STD rate in Ottawa has been increasing every year and it will continue to rise as long as irresponsible behavior continues. When the little head stop thinking for the big head? Catherine

From an SP's perspective, it's the attitude going in that is different, not the service. Neither acronyms should be interpreted as "unsafe play allowed" unless indicated by the advertising or communications that follow contact. I define them as... GFE: warm, softly sensual, intimacy with the intention of enacting a mutual experience, like one with someone you know and care about. Gently starting, but the road leads to anywhere the participants choose to travel mutually. PSE: copies the films, it's all about the visual, all actions are for the males satisfaction, little attention needs to be paid to the female fulfillment aspects. I find that PSE is a focus rather like a caricature of the true acts, much like Jessica Rabbit is to the real woman. Fun to watch, but should never be thought of as "real" in any way shape or form. Catherine

I have to agree with Mod, it was luck that it turned out well this time. Next time you may not be so lucky. This industry must self regulate, and it begins with the client setting the standard. Everytime the door opens and it is not who you expected, something must be said. You can handle it a couple of ways, send the girl away or call the service with the girl in attendance and explain that she is not who you asked for. If you decide to entertain with the arrival, at least take up some of the agencys time so they know that you are aware of the underhanded tactic. Time is $ and if clients tie up their phones addressing this issue, they will make changes. I don't want to sound preachy, but operating with a strong code of ethics is imperative in this industry. There is too much room for abuse from both standpoints, and if a company or individual is willing to violate such a simple standard, what else are they doing? Is she casing your home? Are all your credit cards accounted for, or has a family heirloom disappeared from the little missus jewel box? Any crack in the ethical foundation will usually indicate there are more at hand. The agencies that invest in promoting the SP's they represent do so for a reason. They put a lot $ behind their belief that they are delivering quality and are willing to show you upfront. Men are not stupid, they know we are not all Pam Andersons, and they know every woman has the potential to be a bombshell, even when we don't fit the playboy molds. The good agencies know this, and they know that the right attitude will trump a physical imperfection 99% of the time. Back in the day, I wouldn't hire a girl who hadn't had a baby, because that is something that brings women into their own. Clients have the ability to recognize a good thing and choose who they want to spend time with. Be full of care and choose wisely. Don't contribute to anyone who is a part of bait and switch. The girls will get tired of being turned away and move to an agency that values their reputation, and the ones that choose to stay are not the kind of guest you want in your home. Think with your big head.... Catherine

Dear leyley, I can't take credit for the apt, synchronicity is at work. I want everyone to just keep her in mind, she could use the attention right now and it would be a HUGE help up. She is really sweet woman and deserves an opportunity to right some things for herself... Catherine