cat

As many of you know, I am now settled into my new place. I try to anticipate your every need, but there are times when some male input is appreciated. I would like some feedback on things like music, what should be stocked in terms of refreshments preferred, what are your likes and dislikes when it comes to visiting? I would love suggested play lists for music, and anything else you think would make a visit better for you. Rest assured the basics are covered, but now I want to make it absolutely perfect! Catherine

Darling Jackie, It's the second last section on the main page.... Catherine

To All... A meet and greet would be a great idea, but I think the first should be for SP's. My gentle suggestion would be for the Mod to move this string to the SP's only section. I know this board is watched and I would be far more comfortable with us discussing it in private amongst ourselves. Dummpy, you know if anyone would be welcome to an SP ONLY gathering, it would be you! But we'll get the details worked out, put one under our belts and then we can take it from there. I have hosted more of these gatherings than you can imagine. The most effective way is to choose a hotel, book a hospitality suite which is neutral ground for everyone to gather. It is where we meet initially, then all head out to dinner. There are a couple of restaurants with private rooms we can book at no extra fee. We can either pay a fee for attendance to cover the cost of the suite and then bring our own indulgences, or have a paid bar, which the proceeds go to charity. I know a couple of bartenders that would gladly volunteer. Usually we book several suites in the hotel, that way no one drives and we can usually pull a couple of appointments to offset the costs. Being in Ottawa, I would prefer to host it here. I am not familiar enough with Montreal to be effective there. I would gladly travel there if someone else wanted to set everything up. If we can get the attendance, I would like to propose having a sit down to talk about a couple of things that have been rolling around in my realm, that I think we all could benefit from. I would be happy to chair, and if anyone wants to put topics on the agenda, we could incorporate it in and open it up for discussion. As always, be safe... Catherine

Darling Rattykins, Thank you so much! I love to hear when someone enjoys a visit with me. It puts a smile on my face that lasts and lasts... Until we meet again... Catherine

Darling Amadeus, Thank you! It's such a special day, all you boys out there, don't forget flowers and a kiss to the woman who has spent her life making you who you are and making you nuts simultaneously! Catherine

Darling Jillian, Kudos! I have always been rampantly offended by discrimination in any form, then low and behold, found myself discriminating against those who have no control over when they were born! It was a huge eye opener and very liberating for me. I had no idea the lure of older women to the young ones. What I really love is taking them from the "porn" mentality and moving them into the erotically sensual arena. It is such a thrill to see the lightbulb go on, and the experience go from being physical to purely mental. I always laugh when we come up for air and find out the sun's coming up, and the night has evaporated... Yours, Catherine

Darling Amadeus, I can't agree more that conversation is key to a great experience. I love finding a man that has a whole pocketful of stories and experiences to share. It is the test for me, if our couch time doesn't click then I simply explain to my guest that this probably isn't going to work. I appreciate how hard you gentlemen work for your paycheck and I would not want someone to walk away with anything less than 100% of me. If the connection isn't there, then I am not there either and I won't continue. He leaves with his wallet intact, and the option of looking for someone who is better suited to him. This is all about people finding that spark, and no one is perfect for everyone. That is why it's always so much fun, there are so many options out there! I am so glad you finally are getting someone out your neck of the woods. Have a great time, enjoy and smile.... Catherine

Darling TCML, It was amazing wasn't it! Still smiling, I am looking forward to your next visit to Ottawa with immense anticipation, I already have started planning the adventure! If you ever need a recommendation, just look my way... Yours, with glowing pleasure, Catherine

Dear Mod, Thanks for editing the original post, you rock! Catherine

Dear Dumbass, Seems a little judgemental on your part. SP's raise their rates for various reasons and the most prevalent is they are too busy to handle the business they have. If we burn out, we're on our own, no sick leave due to mental and physical exhaustion or unemployment to be had. So we simply try to maximize what we can. It's important to remember that clients come in all shapes and incomes and most are more than happy to pay an increase in rate if they feel the service is important to them. Stating she is not worth it is very presumptuous, and is a repugnant statement to me. She has the right to set her considerations so that she feels adequately compensated for her investment, ie. advertising, physical, mental, emotional and then all the other overhead guests never factor in. She may now be too rich for your blood, but I am sure there are others that would disagree. Catherine

Not Dear Abby, just someone who has spent too much time with girls like Amber and have seen what happens when they stay. Cat

Dear Amber, His possessiveness is directly linked to his behavior concerning the other. He is doing it to hurt you, it is part of the abusive nature. My advice....get out, get strong, stay out! Baby or no, this is something that will kill your spirit and devastate your soul. Abuse is intolerable in any degree. We are all precious in our own right, and deserve to be treated with dignity and respect always. He obviously doesn't get this, and won't until you stop allowing him to treat you like a doormat. There is a difference between the men who use our services because they have an itch that can't be scratched at home. They love their wives and would never rub it in their faces to make them feel less worthy. A man who blatantly use other women to tear you down is dangerous, and not deserving of a woman, much less a daughter! If you don't stand up for yourself, your daughter will learn the same traits. Every incident will imprint on her impressionable beautiful young mind, and damage her. Every word, every action leaves a black mark on her heart. What kind of example are you giving her? She will spend a lifetime thinking that it's normal and you will watch her repeat your patterns. Walk away from the drama and focus on raising your daughter. She is your only priority and responsibility that matters in this situation. There are gov't services for these situations and also private shelters. Find someone to talk to, that will help you with putting together a life management plan and an exit strategy. As we say at home, "pull your head out of your a** and stand up for your bay. She is entitled to better.... Catherine

Darling Jughead, Thank you for replying, takes a real gentleman to step up like that, and I appreciate it. I came off a little harsh sounding, and that wasn't my intention. The lack of accountability is something that sticks in my craw a bit, and I have a tendency to bark. But don't worry, I only bite if asked! Catherine

Excellent points! I really like the suggestions of a grey list and a white list, both are great ideas. I, for one, would not back away from someone on a grey list until they have misbehaved with me personally. Everyone deserves equal opportunity and circumstances change. But they only get one chance. Cancel once and I tend to avoid booking a second time. They are the ones on the list that are not dangerous, simply have caused a few waves. Because there are so few places for us to check and verify guests, we have to use whats available, and everyone ends up simmering in the same pot. It's up to us to assess the risk. Usually the details are fairly clear, either they are dangerous or just a little more effort is required. The Grey List would allow us to decide if we can spare the extra time, or risk a no show. If there is time available, it's always worth booking someone, in the event it works out. If you knew how many arrange an appointment, and then never arrive you would be amazed. It ends up costing everyone, and like shoplifting, the results are higher considerations for all. I follow two schools of thought on this, the first is "Nothing ventured, nothing gained", but once there is a no show it falls to "fool me once shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me". Until later gentlemen.... Catherine

A blacklist is not another type of review board in any way shape or form. With the lack of legislation to protect us, we have a responsibility to ourselves and others to try and prevent getting into situations that could put our lives in danger. If you have never laid on the floor after being beaten, violated and robbed you have no idea. After several days in hospital, the police smirkingly tell you that their only option is to charge him with misdemeanor "theft under $500". The next 6 months are spent out of work waiting for the torn tissues to heal and the soul to reemerge. If this information is made public, the subject can see what we are looking for, change his MO, appearance and contact information. This puts us at a serious disadvantage and the risk increases. The men who commit these crimes know the chance of us going to the police are small because if we do, we then become vunerable to the police also. I for one, would rather have all my teeth pulled without freezing than deal with LE. Most of these men are habitual offenders who target us because they know we HAVE NO RECOURSE! Every day in Canada a woman in our business disappears. Most are not missed and are never found. A blacklist is our only frontline protection and we all take it very seriously. Katia does an outstanding job, and if an occasional mistake is made, so be it, errors happen. We all try to be as fair as possible before we put someones name on the blacklist. If you are under the assumption it is simply to tell stories about who inconvenienced or annoyed us, you are sorely mistaken. Walk a mile in our shoes.... Catherine

In this world, there are no realities, only perceptions. That is where the difficulties lie. A grey list would be an excellent idea, what is grey to one SP is white to another. Perceptions and miscommunications are always difficult to sort out and when reputations are at stake, it is vital to come to some understanding. Often misunderstandings are magnified for reasons only known by the persons involved, and often it is one sided. How of many times have we all walked away from a conversation feeling off because a comment hit a nerve? The words linger, and if we focus on it, it becomes an issue to us alone. The person who made the comment may have been looking at the situation from an entirely different perspective and the statement may have had a different meaning entirely. Language is so subjective that confusion happens more than anyone realizes. The drama that ensues is usually unnecessary and the difficulties that result consume our time and energy when there are things more important at hand. I think it would make a huge difference in this world if people would assume the best not the worst from those they interact with. That being said... Katia, I appreciate the amount of time and effort you commit to making sure we get information. I realize we can't always substantiate what happened, and you always err on the side of caution, as I think you should. I know you would not put information out there unless you felt it needed to be. You never put information out there that could cause more trouble for the people on the "blacklist" in case there was more to the story and I respect that. There is nowhere else for SP's to go when something goes wrong but to the blacklist. I was not a fly on the wall, I don't know if this accusation is true, but.... In the three years I have known antlerman, he has always been a complete and total gentleman. His demeanor has never wavered; he is an incredibly kind soul who is open and upfront. I have never detected anything lying below the surface, and those of you who know me, know I have a shit detector that will pick up anything that "just ain't right" a mile away. I have enjoyed every moment we have shared in company. We keep in touch even when there is no time to visit, and I consider him a friend. I cannot fathom him trying to negotiate something like this; it just is totally out of character. If any SP out there would like a referral for him, just drop me a note. He has always been a delightful guest and truly enjoyable playmate when he is with me and I can't imagine him being any other way. Always remember a piece of paper has two sides to it, and I am glad we are flipping this one over and taking a look at what’s on the other side... Catherine

Very good point, that's why we should always carry the id markers. Every bill, every time, no exceptions. Not foolproof, but as close as one can get without a powersource... Catherine

"In cash we trust..." Catherine

It’s good to see the reasoning behind the rules, and to the staff at CERB, thank you. I have been enjoying Ottawa for 3 years now, and when I first landed, I had some exposure to the other boards and found them to be unpalatable at best. It was confusing, because when I had the opportunity to meet some of the posters, they were really genuine people that I liked to spend time with. I’m not sure what I expected, but it wasn’t that. I did realize they were not the kind to jump into the locker-room discussions, but they were there, all the same. My hesitation continued until I got to know them better. Then I realized that most of time, the mob mentality prevails when it comes to this medium. It is easy to spout off with no accountability and never realize the damage done may not be warranted or deserved. Too often SP’s are lumped together like a commodity, instead of being accepted as individuals who have a heart and soul. When I relisted my ad with EC, I decided to spend a bit and watch what was going on out there and low and behold! CERB had a feel to it that was positive, with contributors that had something worth reading. I like the openness, it allows me to inject without the fear of aggressive responses. CERB gives us a chance to show who we are as people, and it is rare. Society today likes to think they are open and accepting, but SP’s are shunned, shamed and rejected at all levels. We have no voice, nowhere to dispel the myths of who we are. This board is the only place I have found that the readers listen to what is being said, not dismissing it because of who said it. I think it says mountains about the members here in Ottawa, who read this board and contribute knowing it’s a level playing field. For those of you who choose to be here…I salute you! Catherine

Darling Amadeus65, It is imperative to have clear communications about the business end of things when setting up the appointment. Clairfy if there is tipping involved, and make sure you know how much the entire experience is going to be. I am an Independent and my fees are all inclusive, which means what I quote is what you bring for the time we spend. Now, tipping in this country is foreign territory, but at home, it is like a restaurant. If you get good service, tip 15 to 20% and your visitor will come back with bells on and dinner in the bag because NO ONE IN CANADA TIPS! Too polite and no tipping. That's Canadians for you. You sound like a bit of an adventurer, good for you! I like a man who is willing to explore the fun side of life! Catherine

Just to clear things up, FSS has an incredibly dry wit, and his posts are always made in good humor. I assure you, he does not mean to raise anyones ire. While some pick up on the tone, others take the words literally which is always a problem when communicating on line. We lose the intonation and cadence of the spoken word, and misinterpretation is rampant when we are online. Please know, he is incredibly sweet natured, gentle, and kind hearted, tho sometimes a little too cerebral for his own good when he is posting. Catherine p.s. Love a man who takes a girl to Danier!

Darling Jillian, I have had the same type of inquiries from much younger men and at first I would decline. Then one, very persistently charming, talked me into it. He was 26, and I have to say, afterwards, I adjusted my age limit. I have always had a 35 cut off, but this was such a positive experience that it swayed my "rule". Since then, I have been much more liberal with the age limit and have never been disappointed. Respectful, enthusiastic, and appreciative in spite of our badges of honor. While I still prefer fully grown mancubs, the younger ones can be a pleasant surprise. It also allows them to take advantage of the knowledge and experience we have, they are very willing to learn whatever games we want to teach them. You might want to think about it... Yours, Catherine

Dear Ekimout, Thanks for putting up the links, I have been trying to access them and for some reason couldn't! Damn gremlins in my laptop again... Catherine

I have just started running the "weekend special", and it has been a tremendous amount of fun! I have never before discounted, negotiated or haggled, but I realized that there are guests out there who work too hard to spend their money without knowing what they are in for. Having a "special" has allowed me to meet some really great people that I otherwise wouldn't have encountered, and they now know that a visit with me is worth the investment. It really ended up being a win-win situation, that I now do not hesitate to participate in. My only complaint is that the hour is over too soon, my body clock is set for the much longer sessions.... Catherine

I agree with Synfulsydnee and Jillian. I maintain a "customer is ALWAYS right" philosophy and will, with a smile, carry the business thru until the transaction is complete. If the "guest" is out of line, he loses the priviledge of visiting with me. I will not entertain anyone a second time if they take advantage during the first visit. I believe in leaving my money where I am treated with respect and I treat everyone who crosses my path the way I like to be treated. That said, I will never return to a business that was unreasonable or dishonest with me and that is always a costly mistake. I am the "one" to tell everyone I know if service is poor or the experience isn't up to snuff. I also am incredibly loyal to a business that has served me well, even if the prices increase as long as end result maintains the quality I expect. The real draw for me is the people. I have eaten at a restaurant for years because I loved the staff. The food was mediocre, the location inconvenient, but the people were priceless and made it all worth while. There are still places where service matters, it's just harder to find north of the Mason-Dixon line! Catherine