cat

I adore warm chocolate chip cookies with old cheddar melted on top. I scoop ice cream with kettle cooked potato chips. I mix chocolate covered almonds with beanitos in my mouth. I put peanut butter on my bacon cheeseburgers. I put protein powder in my coffee. I dip bananas in mayo then brown sugar. I dip fresh fruit in salsa... cat

I've been following this case closely for years and just last night had a discussion about it with a constitutional lawyer with some great insight into the dynamics of US military motives, children soldiers and human rights. Trained soldier or not, his age is a key factor in deciding whether or not he is a danger to society. I've never met a 15 year old who had the mature awareness of insight regarding potential outcomes from an action taken. In his situation, I can't imagine what I would have done, a grenade may have seemed appropriate to ensure my survival if I had already learned how to use one. At 15, we process our situations mentally/emotionally very differently. Watching this young mans release, seeing his face after 10 years with a bag over his head (literally) showed me he "did" the time, the time didn't "do" him. He needs time to acclimate, heal and adjust. I feel he is entitled to enter society and screw it up or not, the right we all share as Canadians. As for the dichotomy of Harpers Captain Save a Ho legislation, it was the only option to keep the religious right somewhat appeased. He cares not for sex workers safety or quality of life and that position is mirrored for all citizens who don't fall into the Cons narrow guidelines of an upstanding citizen. There is no logic to it. Cat

[FONT="Palatino Linotype"][SIZE="3"][B][I] ...past the point of turning everything you say into a sexual innuendoâ?¦[/I][/B][/SIZE][/FONT] [IMG]http://stclaires.ca/StandardCerbAds/SC11_Ad_5.jpg[/IMG]

First and foremost, I think new providers should work for an established business. Escort, massage or dancing; find a place that is safe and has your interests at heart. Learn the fundamentals before you try taking on the administration. Trying to figure out how to work an appointment while facilitating your marketing, screening and real life is the recipe for overwhelm. Take it one step at a time, learn the industry from people that know. Remember this game is sold, not told so you need to invest in your learning and the most effective investment is in who you work for first. Yes, you split your income but it's infinitely worth it if you are working for the right people. They will teach you more than you could learn on your own. Learn to walk before you try to run. The second is don't take advice from clients. (sorry fellas who have posted, I'm not saying your advice isn't valid but...) Initially, you should listen but if it isn't backed up by a peers or another experienced providers don't act on it until you know it's genuine advice and not self motivated for their benefit. There are some that will guide based on your needs but those that simply want to further their agenda will erode your success in the industry. Third is network. Invest time in getting to know other providers, even if its only online. The returns are bankable... cat

Like Victoria, I prefer the business model that the industry in the US uses. Yes, I prefer dealing with American clients. I had the same shocking experience when I arrived in Canada. Demands for services up front, bareback services and vilification when I refused to commit before meeting a client. It's one of the reasons I seldom advertise and have developed a business model that ensures I don't have to see new clients regularly. I feel the new laws are an opportunity to set some imbalances straight, making the industry better and all we have to do is adapt. The providers in this industry are brilliant adapters, the clients...not so much. C36 says we are not allowed to advertise sexual services when putting ads out thru 3rd party advertisers. Perhaps we can to return to the model of selling an experience rather than a laundry list of services. Going back to the old structure of a 30 minute appointment means a blow job and an hour means full service is an option? Everyone will figure out what works for them and the show will go on. It always does... cat

If you have not seen her then your comments are in fact speculation and there fore unwarranted and unnecessary. 10 years ago I went thru the same thing when I had arrived in Canada. A full discussion of the fact I was charging slightly above average without reviews. "Who does she think she is?" was the theme and it continued for pages. Finally someone to a chance and met me. My price has never been a point of contention since. Just because she is out of your price range does not indicate that her service is overpriced, it simply clarifies you are not the client she is looking for... cat

It doesn't surprise me at all. Given our foreign policy, treatment of Military Veterans, our track record with our Indigenous people, Palestine ... really ALL the bad decisions that our government has made is bound to come home to roost at some point. People are tired and those who feel it the hardest will eventually lash out. I'll be interested to see who takes responsibility and understand what has happened to them to bring it to this. There is always a reason, whether it is comprehensible or not by the general public. At least we know it wasn't the Pimp Lobby. There wasn't a pair of fishnets or a fedora in sight... cat

"In Durham Region, officers interviewed 31 sex trade workers, with an average age of 26, and investigators believe nine were under some level of control. These 31 people represent the highest total for any police service during Operation Northern Spotlight II." I find that they BELIEVED 9 were under some level of control which means they can't actually prove it. What they don't factor in is the tendency for peope to default to the inaction of "it's easier to blame someone else for your actions than own it when challenged" if it's something they haven't reconciled within themselves... cat

National ads aren't a red flag for SB's actually. They will relocate for the right SD and many SD's fly their SB's in for visits. Having some distance ensures things don't get messy... cat

Any SP worth her professional panties won't be waving their black book details publicly anytime soon. The truth is, there is no profit in outing a client so professional companions will be continuing on. The fly by nights are what you need to be aware of. If a provider isn't a long term investor in the industry then don't chance it. New girls will have to go to agencies and be vetted with identification and a couple of calls under their belts before they will be welcomed as indies. The changes are not really that big for indoor workers and clients. The real catch is the advertising legislation now imposed. There will be a marked change in the amount of information a client will be able to ask before meeting a provider. In that case, don't ask about services and you are fine. Payment for companionship has always been a non issue, what two consenting adults do behind closed doors is their business and no one is interested in what they do. Bottom line, new girls will where the risk lies in terms of LE so don't ask about sex before meeting or for sex once you arrive. Let her lead the way... cat

Another aspect of this to be considered is that once the magazine is loaded and fired, it can never again be reloaded. The threat of outing is far more intimidating than the actual naming of names. For the multitudes that could be named, only a percentage will catch a bullet and the rest will breath a sign of relief, the threat will be pretty much over. It will be big new once and only once; subsequent outings will be observed but will have the "already been there, did that" reaction in the public eye. This could only be done once or twice, then it would lose it's power. Our politicians are not rock stars, most people can't even name their MPs let alone recognize them on the street. The names would have to be so high up and relevant to todays government that the public immediately know who they are. I know who is in my blackbook, some are genuine power brokers in this country but Joe Public wouldn't know them at all. A few of them are elected officials, others are long term bureaucrats. None of these men would be recognized be anyone outside of the people who work on the Hill. The journalists would have a hay day researching these mens lives and terrorizing (I believe journalists are our homegrown terrorists!) the outed's loved ones gathering enough information to flesh out their characters to even make the public care enough to follow the story. By outing clients, the only winners are the media, everyone else loses... cat

I don't have a problem with the location or the cost of a ticket. Kanata is a wee drive and there are plenty of us with cars to help with taking the downtown ladies out there along with several reputable drivers who would gladly drive as well... cat

Outing is not an answer or should it even be considered an option. The problem is the damage done to the already tarnished image of our industry. I fight tooth and nail to prove to every guest that I am an ethical professional; the blow back will touch every provider where it hurts the most, in the wallet. The PC's will not back down and we will continue to fight. We already carry the reputation of being diseased, lying, stealing manipulators. Now lets add to the greatest fear clients have besides STD/STI's; being outed. Every SP will spend countless hours explaining that she can be trusted with a clients personal information simply to try and maintain her safety. For what? So a couple of men can walk around embarrassed for a month or two then try to rebuild their lives? We are a community, we should be protecting each other. The minute "they" make us enemies, we are screwed. Disclosing names will not fix the issue, it will simply destroy innocent lives of the families involved. No good will come of it except to make juicy newspaper porn for people who aren't even on the fringes of our struggles. The wives, children, parents and friends will bear the brunt of the disclosure. To me, the collateral damage is unacceptable when we know the bomb will not take out the target. There would be no end to justify the means... cat

I genuinely appreciate the fact she has asked. I had a few raised eyebrows when I read the MP voting breakdown so I can understand her frustration and I think it's important that we respond honestly and privately to her. Thank you Ms. Sarah for posting this... cat

You get addicted to the low per session price. They have a yearly membership which brings the cost way down apparently... cat

Phaedrus is right. We all know the moment "it" happens, we feel it in our gut. That moment where there is not a fact someone has presented still standing under scrutiny and the next words out of their mouth is a personalized attack. It's in that moment we know we have reached deep down within them and challenged the very core of their beliefs. They struggle to hold onto those beliefs because they are identified with them, it makes them right and others wrong which is integral to their sense of self. They believe it's their belief that makes them who they are; challenging their beliefs with truth is within them akin to a part of them dying. When I'm engaged with someone I always assess them using these 3 points as guidelines. It helps me to formulate which method of engagement to utilize. Is what their are saying... a thought? These are fluid and open to dialogue. an opinion? These are more firmly held but can be challenged and changed with new ideas. A belief? Wars are started and people die for their beliefs. In any discussion, once someone makes it personal it is the most trustworthy sign of defeat. For those who are the casualties of outing, my heart feels for you and I am sorry. Thank you for taking the hit. Just remember we simply have to stay the course and don't engage; the true believers are not the ones we need to sway. It's those with thoughts and opinions who will turn the tide for us and I genuinely believe that change will come... cat

I didn't quote you in my last post. This isn't all about you... cat

Reread the second paragraph of my post closely. I qualify every statement I make. I'm not saying women don't enjoy daty, I'm saying that it isn't a required service in our work unless the gent indicates an interest. I also didn't say that providers don't enjoy daty in an appointment ever, I simply gave some general parameters to having that happen organically. Talk about twisting words... What amazes me with this industry is willingness of the participants; both provider and client to tow the balloons and streamers party line at all costs, engage in behaviour then vent publicly or semi-privately when it goes wrong. In this business there are some great aspects, some less than great and some aspects that are truly gross. Sex is messy tho it can be fun if the parties are willing to be adults. I'm not advocating providers not disclose, I'm trying to bring a dose of reality to the discussion that honestly indicates the transient and unregulated nature of this industry and the potential impact that has on the participants health and safety. I think if someone is unwilling to take precautions then they don't have the right to complain. If the OP had used a dental dam, the risk would have been negligible and we probably wouldn't be having this conversation. Instead, he chose to engage in an unsafe service. The new to the industry provider was obviously in a difficult position given she was seeing her first client in spite of her monthly and when the mishap occurred, the OP took her fee back then her agency didn't have the decency to back her up. To me, the prevailing attitudes and the entire situation is a travesty... cat

I don't see it as secrecy, simply what the buyers market here has dictated. Canadian clients expect bb daty and many take convincing to actually use a dental dam. Here in Ottawa I have only had one client request the use of a dam before we've met in the last decade. I can't speak for other providers but that indicates to me that it just isn't that genuine a concern for most hobbyists. Unless of course it goes wrong as this thread has indicated. I'm going to clarify something that seems to have escaped some. How often does a provider insist a client go down on her? Think about it. Daty is performed for the client, not the provider during a first, second or even a third apptointment. I have yet to meet a provider that says "My guys have to go down on me." Most of the providers in my circle would prefer not to have guys perform daty until there is some connection and trust. In my experience, a woman has to be able to relax in order to enjoy it which seldom happens at the onset of this dynamic and I also believe it should only happen at her request. I consider daty a consumer driven service when it's listed on a menu and often an appointment will hinge on whether or not it's provided; many men decline when they are told it's safe service only. If there was genuine risk management going on, clients would realize the chance of menses and the dam would be requested regardless of whether or not a provider admits to being on her cycle or not. To me this is a case of having your cake and eating it too. From a practical standpoint I simply don't see it going both ways. If you want unprotected daty, then you assume the worst possible risk is present and accept it or you use protection. Until there are legislated health and safety practices in place (which most of the industry seems resistant to according to the bbbj thread), the fact remains that a man never knows what is happening in his providers reproductive organs and the onus is on him if he wants to perform orally. If daty is that important to him, he should insist that precautions are used or accept the consequences of his decision if the results are less than he desired. Anything else is simply abdicating responsibility... cat

No one can be responsible for anyone else's sexual health but their own... cat

If you actually thought it through, you would see that is a tremendous ask. If risk aversion is your goal, you don't perform unprotected daty I'm to assume? As we have had the oral sex "risk" discussion ad nauseum here and the resounding response from most hobbyists is that they will make their own decisions regarding safe oral sex all the while the actual weight of the risk is carried by the SP. Now the shoe is on the other foot the tone and response is decidedly different. With a bbbj, the risk is carried by the provider and I genuinely believe most who provide it only so so because of the negative financial impact if one doesn't offer it. We already share the most intimate parts of ourselves with our clients, now it's expected we disclose our menstrual cycles as well? Perhaps we should keep photos of our enemas discharges so greek freaks can be assured we prepared to their satisfaction? This is why I have never offered a menu or consent to see clients who demand one. I agree to nothing in advance which leaves me with the option of guiding the session to ensure I only engage in activities I know to be safe with my guests. Not all ladies have that luxury with their client base. Given the feast and famine nature of the business, there are many who can't afford to lose 20-25% of her yearly income. I'd like to see what men would do if they had to take a 25% a year pay hit for a bodily function. Especially when it never coincides with the other things we have to take time off for; like being out of work for a urinary track infection or yeast infection. Which btw is also an almost monthly occurrence for many of us due to our work and we physically can't work thru it. Or any of the other things like the flu and cold epidemics we are exposed to daily that "real" jobs have paid, legislated sick days for which we are not entitled to. The reality is that sex workers have been using sponges for as long as sex workers and sponges have been around. My stance on this is safe play saves. Until you know and trust someone, use barrier protection for all acts that may exchange body fluids. It isn't rocket science, just a piece of rubber and if you don't want to use one, then be prepared for the unexpected...

In my experience, the only way a sponge will dislodge is thru aggressive, deep fingering... cat

You basic understanding is accurate and this is a really good question. Thank you for asking. I believe playing during a period changes the risk factors negligibly when handled correctly. Periods can cycle anywhere from 14 to a 40 day cycle, lasting 1 to 14 days and the flow varies depending on the woman's hormone cycle. Some women cramp, some don't. For some, sex is intolerably painful during menses, for others it relieves cramps. Tampons, pads, keepers and cups can be used when not having sexual intercourse but sponges can used when playing. Simply put, the sponges act like tampons without interfering with penetration. If men would be more open minded to using a dental dam and play safely then this would be a moot conversation. For me the bottom line is the only responsible play utilizes barrier methods for all acts that have the potential for the exchange of bodily fluids. If a man balks at using a dental dam but insists on daty with a woman knowing that she is a fertile, healthy potentially menstruating woman, then he assumes the risk that she may in fact be menstruating, getting ready to menstruate so the actual act could bring it on or she could have just ceased bleeding and there may still be blood traces hiding in her uterus that could be released during the function of lubrication during a rendezvous. I think that heterosexual men need to understand the amazing biology of the female reproductive cycle so for more information, those with more questions can further research it online... cat

I think it's unrealistic to expect a provider to take a week off every month given the prices here in Canada. Can anyone imagine losing 25% of their income due to an unavoidable, naturally occurring event? In the past I have worked thru my period and never had an issue. Some clients I informed if I knew they may have an issue, others I didn't. I've used sponges for most of my career because penetration often caused break thru bleeding which was not part of my menstrual cycle. Life happens, especially during sex. Obviously the provider needed the income or she wouldn't have been working thru her cycle. Taking the donation back certainly gives clear indication of character and shows someones view of providers clearly. I for one, appreciate when clients post situations like this and their reaction to it as it allows me to see who they are... cat

I agree with Jay's post, technology is a tool that too many fail to use properly. I think our society is replacing the act of living in the moment with gadgets, gizmos and trinkets. I have used my smartphone to distract myself in moments when my mind doesn't want to deal with the situation and when I look back I've realized I missed something I should have been present for. When I replace technology with interacting with the now, I realize I've failed to stay present. The challenge for me is maintaining the awareness while taking advantage of the tech that can free up my time so I attempt to do that by exercising discipline with technology. My laptop causes me far more headaches in this practice than my phone ever could because I fall down the internet rabbit hole when I'm alone. I get up from the desk and realize I ate the cake and drank the bottle, I've been little and giant; hours have passed that felt like a few minutes. Those are hours I have to justify to myself as being time well spent and seldom can I do that. From a literal vantage point of this industry, it can be hard to arrange a rendezvous without a cell phone but it isn't impossible. It simply takes more patience which is something the OP pointed out he seems to have in spades... cat