cat

Darling bigboi, I certainly understand your concern and I agree with the other posters advice. What I would like to mention is that it is difficult to identify let alone define a pimp and most people wouldn't recognize one if they passed one on the street unless the pimp was very stereotypical and we all know how reliable stereotypes are. The other thing to keep in mind is you can potentially have drama from a provider whether she is completely independent or not. I would gently suggest not over thinking the labels and simply educate yourself about the providers available to you here in Ottawa. There is a huge selection of well reviewed providers for you to choose from here on Cerb or if perusing one of the other sites, take a peek at what CK says... http://www.cowboysdiary.info Smiles, cat

While Miss Jessica's wording may ruffle feathers, the intention and willingness to take action is undeniable. The providers that have had the opportunity to study human rights and it complexities have valuable insight into the social and legal issues of the vulnerable and I appreciate their attempts to explain it to those of us who are not as fluent in the nuanced language and concepts. Anything that will broaden horizons is a good thing. What I'm always amazed at is how as a collective we agree on the changes that need to be made but how often the intellectual vocal activists chose to criticize action taken that doesn't directly reflect their chosen paths of action. I have lived my professional life believing that being open about what I do with the civilian population actively helps remove stigma surrounding our industry one person at a time. I don't need people to become pro sex work by the end of the conversation to know that I have planted a seed that will grow, slowly entering their thoughts and challenging their belief systems about my work. By providing a face, giving a voice to those of us that society never sees, doesn't even know we exist; I challenge the stigmas they believe directly. I feel those of us who the general public can relate to have a responsibility to put our experiences out there because in fact we are already a part of their lives and they will relate to us in some way, no matter how small. I may not get a warm welcome initially but it's a start. I know they'll respond eventually if I'm patient and don't dismiss their beliefs but simply open a dialogue that allows an exchange of information. Every inch forward where ever it happens is still valuable forward movement imo. The anti's and media parade the victims of violence to the public as the face of prostitution and the public have nothing else to compare it to. They don't hear from us, the quiet majority. We have no public face, no identifiable voice, only activists that the general public seldom take seriously. It's not the anti's we need to sway but the undecided. Giving those valuable undecided something to compare the horror stories to, our experiences is what I believe will help sway those who have yet to make a decision and that is key in starting to shift the stigma away from consensual sex work. While Jessica's approach may not be considered the most effect course of action by some, it is at the very least a starting point that we can build on. I see no harm in supporting it along with the other actions currently employed. We need a multi faceted approach because society is multi faceted and reaching out to them where they are consciously at this moment is the only way to ensure we are heard. I believe that if we had a professional presence, one that showed the general public that this is an industry and there are many within it that have chosen to work in it, it will help us. We need to show them we are responsible business owners, tax paying citizens and good neighbours, giving them informaiton that will go a long way to influencing them to let go of the stigmas they have been taught to believe is key. The vulnerable will not suffer because we up our public presence, they will benefit. As providers we know the vulnerable need to be included and we do not minimize their experiences but at the same time, their experiences does not negate ours... cat

An excellent movement tho I personally would change the wording to encourage decriminalization as opposed to legalizing... cat

Jason, feel free to let the ladies you see know about CERB and tell them that it an SP friendly site. Many ladies avoid boards because they are very antagonistic towards providers so they choose to avoid all of them except the ones they need to advertise on locally. The more ladies from a specific region participate on a board, the more men are drawn to it... cat

I absolutely agree! While I often say with tongue in cheek "I love HMOPH's!" it is completely truthful. Happily Married Other Peoples Husbands make up my favourite guests for so many reasons. It's a perfect fit for my preferred business model, the ME (mistress experience). It means I never deal with the bad habits, annoying idiosyncrasies and daily grind; that is left for the woman who will inherit his estate and I get to enjoy all the delights without the trials and tribulations of day to day routine. I never have to worry they are going to arrive in a mood, never deal with him not pulling his weight around the house and he'll never steal my covers in the middle of the night, every night. I don't have to pick up his dirty laundry, deal with his family or struggle with keeping the passion alive. These parts are non existent in the relationships I indulge in. HMOPH's will never assume to be a part of my life outside of the negotiated parameters, never arriving in the middle of night thinking I will welcome him in, never assume an invite out for dinner off the clock is an acceptable thing to do. They seldom see blurred lines when paint is neon yellow clear. In my privileged experience, HMOPH's is always positive, he's always happy to be here, I'm always glad he is here. Our time together is focused, we ONLY do the important stuff like touch, talk and feel in an honest, nonjudgemental way. We spend time together knowing how truly precious that time is; we both savour every moment and when it's over we are grateful to have experienced it. We look forward to the next visit without it being a painful yearning or need. It's having all the best parts of a relationship without any of the head aches or heartbreaks. So yes Delilah, I LOVE married men... cat

The keys to making encounters extraordinary is actually quite simple. First, do your homework to ensure you understand your guest's expectations then do follow thru to make it happen before he arrives to the best of your ability. The next thing is THE key... STAY IN THE MOMENT from the minute you open the door until you close it after he leaves. By staying in the moment I mean... 1. Do not allow random thoughts floating thru your head to take hold. They are clouds, just let them float thru while you focus your attention on your guest. Don't allow the "am I doing this right?", "does this angle make my stomach look fat?" or "I need to go grocery shopping as soon as he's done." to interfere with your time with your guest. This time is about the two of you together and nothing else matters at this point. There is time to process a worthy unrelated thought after he's gone. 2. See the humanity in your guest before all else. This is the part of him you want to touch deeply. He isn't a business guru, construction worker, accountant, father, brother, son when he is with you. He is simply a man, with all of the qualities that makes him strong and vulnerable at the same time. Recognize this, let him be himself with no expectations that he is anything else. The human connection is the one that he will feel and not forget. 3. Follow the bouncing ball. Watch, listen and respond to the story that his body and tone of voice tell. Words can be deceptive but the body always tells the truth. He gives you all the clues you need to make a visit spectacular, you just need to be open to seeing them; to do that you need to follow the moment and trust your intuition to decipher what he is actually needing rather than just what he thinks he wants. It's easy once you practice it a bit, like karaoke. Just watch the little red bouncing ball of "right now". 4. Remember the humanity in him first and foremost. Make a mental file on him. After he leaves, think about what you learned about the real him and file that gold away. If you connected with him, he'll be back and you then have the keys to getting him to shed to masks he wears in the outside world, allowing him to once again just be himself but more efficiently than the last time leaving more time for genuine connection. Follow these steps with every visit and before long you are the Sanctuary he seeks when the outside world is closing in on him. You are who he turns to, to forget, to reconcile, to release all of the stresses that hunt him. These may or may not be conversations of words but more often with my guests they are a ballet of touch, movement and physical expression... Remember that this interaction isn't about you, it's about the both of you. It certainly isn't all about the sex. The physical is simply a vehicle to express ourselves together; it's about releasing what is needed and renewing one's life energy so we can meet the world another day from a positive frame of mind. A man comes to us because of a physical urge but that is merely symptomatic of the underlying need for connection without negativity whether your guest realizes it or not. He never needs to understand your process but he will never forget the time he shared with you if the connection to the real him is made... This is what I think makes an experience memorable... cat

Just a reminder, not all SP's appreciate an early arriver! My last 5 mins is the finishing touches; candles, music and beverages. Early arrivals mess with my juju and throw things off... Depending on the lady one chooses, the start time will vary. I don't penalize clients for showering but my guests book 2 hours. A provider that caters to shorter appointments usually has a business model that is a little more irratic and that would mean prompt start times and starting on time is essential. She may only have 2 appointments that day but Murphy dictates that they will usually start less than 15 minutes apart. Be on time and leave on time... cat

I'm always amazed that wearing a condom for oral is even an issue anymore. Seldom does a client even realize I've put the condom on him until things get serious. I can't count the number of men who have stopped me and asked me to put one on when I straddle for little cowgirl. It's fun to watch them reach down for a feel to ensure it's there because they didn't feel it during the oral. A little planning ahead and voila! If a CoB finish has been requested then it disappears without them seeing or feeling it come off as well. I couldn't imagine a playdate without oral. It's the jump off point where I do my initial inspection and decide what's on the menu for the visit then roll into other activities. It's the perfect opportunity to get him suited up so no matter what our next activity is, we are ready to rumble with no time wasted fumbling with the wrapper or figuring out which side is up! My routine is so pat that I can feel the right side of the condom with my tongue but can't see it without my glasses on and fumbling for readers just doesn't keep my juices flowing... cat

There are few women in this industry who embody the ideal. Sexy, caring, inclusive and stable. Miss Carrie, you are all of these and so much more. I wish you nothing but the best in this move! smiles, cat

I absolutely understand the shyness and it can be a formidable challenge in the beginning. You probably won't have to ask for rates just because they aren't posted on an ad, all you have to do is initiate the contact. If a provider has chosen not to post her rates, she's prepared to share them long before you arrive at her door. I send an introduction with all the pertinent details along with my website information to every potential guest who sends an email that consists of actual words instead text abbreviations or the infamous one liner emails. What I seek in a guest is a gentleman who actually "gets" what I bring to the table which is a willingness to engage and communicate on every level with my guests. I don't expect men to read all the details of my ads because they usually focus on certain aspects while glossing over others. I want guests to ask questions so I can answer clearly; presenting what I offer that makes an experience with me unique and what I expect from a potential paramour. I appreciate the dialogue and the opportunity to find out more about a potential encounter so I can assess if we are a good fit. The most important thing to me is that we are on the same page with expectations and anticipations. For me, not posting my consideration is an invitation to engage. If I put out all the juicy bits, the only thing left is for a guest to chose a dat and time but I find guests often want an opportunity to get a feel for the woman behind the pictures. We all know this is an industry based on fantasy but the very best guests for me are the men who want a woman who is herself, comfortable in her skin and who enjoys her career. These men want the opportunity to get to know me a bit before they make their decision and being able to ask a question is an excellent way to break the ice... cat Additional Comments: Warped88, I'm so sorry, I'm not sure how that smilie got on there! I apologize, I don't think you're a wanker and I can't edit it... cat

I sometimes don't add rates to my ads and I never publish my website, on purpose. I haven't published my website url at any point, it's only available for those who email me an inquiry because it doesn't feel right to me to put it out there. I prefer to have an idea of who is looking at my site; I'm not sure why but it's worked for me so far. Most of my ads have prices now but when I don't, I receive less responses but those that do respond are a much better fit for me. It really depends on the providers intentions. I'm never looking for same day or even same week appointments and having a guest contact me that is willing to explore who I am and what I offer seems to precludes a more satisfying experience for the both of us... cat

Again, let's have a dose of reality here Kathryn. This is the same style of mongering that the media resorts to isn't it? It would be easy to have various minimums depending on the providers circumstances and if we are genuinely organized; it could easily be voluntary with the majority compliant. I see this as a tool, not an imposition... cat

I think there needs to be a dose of reality injected here against the ideological rhetoric. I appreciate the need to protect those who can't protect themselves as we all know who they are. It doesn't change the fact that the rest of the industry needs to be organized and championed as well. Providers that do not have a voice need to heard including ones that don't practice their trade on a street corner or for $300+/hr... cat

I agree it is improbably but not impossible. I think a rate that varied region to region to accommodate area pricing set by local providers would be a good start... I don't see why any of these providers couldn't chose to adopt the mandatory minimums. It would be in their best interests to do so. Gender type, body type and sexuality is irrelevant to this discussion because we are ALL SEX WORKERS. There needs to be unity amongst all. I apologize but my loyalties don't lie with the street workers. I don't feel their situation will can be fixed, only made safer. Their issues run far deeper than the injustice of sex work. It seems only the bottom of already established tiered system barrel is worthy of a voice. Who speaks for the rest of us? I support POWER and all that they do but they are not my voice and they don't adequately represent me in this industry. I have always said street workers are our equivalent of societies homeless. They need representation without a doubt but what about the workers in between the privileged and the street workers? For those of us who are not "the workers who would be excluded from working for a third-party due to past legal problems or addiction/mental health issues or immigrant status, the workers who only wish to work part-time, the workers who are on the "edge" of society's idea of what constitutes the norm for gender expression or body type or sexuality, the workers who want to "only" provide X and Y services, but not Z services" are they suppose to roll over and take it up the ass while our industry is gutted from the inside out without even raising an eyebrow? This is their sole means of support and while they don't fall into the "so much less fortunate than others", they deserve to be protected. It's not a difficult thing to wrap one's brain around. Minimum pay for work provided. I'm advocating a tiered system? As opposed to what we already have? If you don't see the tiers that are already here, this discussion is moot. Anything that we as an industry does that indicates there is any common business sense will be welcomed with open arms here in Canada. Organizing and presenting a unified front that takes responsibility for itself will do far more to lessen the stigmatization and marginalization for the majority of the sex workers than parading around protesting ever will... cat

Comparing this industry to a corner store is not a valid comparison. You have already clarified that we are not a product but a service. Yes, I am making what some might consider assumptions but I feel it is experience that qualifies me to make the statements I have. I have dealt with hundreds (literally) of women in this industry for almost 3 decades. I have worked extensively in every aspect of this business from agency girl, lock down illegal brothel worker with foreign workers, as an agency owner to the independent I am today. I am more than willing to call bullshit on the "I am woman hear me roar" philosophy that is touted by some of the advocates. The illusion online providers present is not the reality of the industry for sex workers. It's a gritty, hard, honest work that can literally tear a person apart or make them stronger than steel as people; depending on their training and support when they enter the trade. Obviously, there need to be rules that govern our industry as there are every other legitimate TRADE. I'm not advocating control, I'm advocating protection. Just as the asbestos workers in Ontario had to go to bat to have their occupation classified as a trade to ensure they were given the proper training and protective equipment then paid adequately for the risks they take on the job every day. I can't imagine a union leader standing up and stating that the salaries for their members should be dictated by what the members were comfortable receiving for their labour. We can be sure the employers would be quietly whispering to the workers that they are only worth half of what the union was asking but if they agree to the lower wage and no contract, they promise to keep them working and take care of them until they die. How many times have we heard "If you give me a deal, I'm going to be a really good regular! I promise!!!" And how often do those men come back? The SP's here know the answer, it's almost always a one off. With mandatory minimums, the provider can fall back on it and stand her ground. Eventually, the clients would learn not to ask. I think that assuming all providers are capable of learning to function within this industry without coming out the other side of it with unnecessary hardships is negligent and naive. Historically, this game was sold not told for a reason. There is a reason clients where called "Tricks" but of course that was before your time. As you well know, it's in many peoples nature to take advantage of providers. Times have changed and we now have providers entering the industry without an inkling of what they are getting into. They initially get most of their business advice from less than savoury clients which inevitably leads to difficult situations. As anti-establishment as I am, I do believe that if we want the stigma to disolve then we need to take responsibility for the industry. As I've said before, we can't have our cake and eat it too; it's not going to happen. If we as an industry can't self regulate or simply refuse to by claiming intimidation or bullying then the government will step in and set the rules. I personally would prefer the guidelines be set by us, the people doing the work... cat

Unlike a spa location, independent and agency providers don't have a till or money box and we don't keep cash on site, I can't make change except from what the last client brought me. Honestly, the ones who need the change generally arrive with the correct donation. They've been waiting and planning for our time together; they are prepared above and beyond. During the times of my life, when $ was tight, I made sure there was no room for confusion. I do have clients that live on pension and have limited funds. They aren't the ones who ask for change. It's the men who walk in, roll off the $20's from a wad of cash that they always seem to have and then stand there expectantly waiting for a girl to go fish for the change that makes no sense to me. Funny thing, in my experience they also are the ones that seem to want to push other boundaries and ensure they "get their money's worth". A little clarification about "cheap". There is a correlation to the generousness of spirit and one's wallet that has nothing to do with a persons financial situation. It's not the act of genuinely needing the change and asking for it, it's the energy behind the ask. It's easy to feel the difference between someone who is asking out of financial necessity and one who is simply cheap by nature. Being cheap with minute amounts of cash will often reflect a miserly intention of how your share your energy and spirit. It is an anti-seducer that will dry me out faster than Mitchum applied directly to my cookie and even after adding copious amounts of lube does nothing to enhance the experience we are about to share. It's like going out to dinner where the bill is $97 and leaving $115 then waiting for the $.45 change... cat

Gentlemen would be astounded by the number of men who ask for change back but in my experience it's usually for the lower priced encounters. When I worked for an agency in Atlanta, they had appointments priced at 15 minute increments. Almost without fail, the client would arrive with $20's and want the $10/$5 change. At first I would scramble to give it, sometimes counting out quarters to ensure they got it; then the agency owner clued me in that it wasn't my responsibility to ensure they have the correct change. The clients knew the agency policy and were told on the phone to arrive with the exact amount but because I was new, they took advantage of my inexperience. I remember thinking to myself while giving it to them "If you can't afford to tip me 5/10$ then you can't afford to be paying for pussy; get your priorities straight!". Some peoples children... cat

A clean bbbj is an oxymoron. Mouths are notoriously full of all kinds of microscopic wigglies. There are many providers to choose from who offer the service; many of them will be std/sti free but you can't tell who is and who isn't. There is no "on the spot" test to see if at this moment something lurks in her throat. Christy is right, this is something you have to educate yourself on. Speak with your doctor, read the public health information and then think on the best choice for your situation. What I will suggest is that when you find the provider, don't ask "Are you clean?". It's not a good way to start off an experience. My second suggestion is that when the "Oh my God, what have I done?" wave hits you afterwards, don't contact your provider asking if you should go get tested... cat

The key to a good appointment is ensuring you and the provider are on the same page. If you do your research and still have questions then the logical next step is communication. Ethical providers understand this and welcome the opportunity to engage with you. We all prefer to have a guest walk thru the door that understands our hard limits service wise and and the business model we employ. It makes for an enjoyable visit so don't back away from asking questions of any sort! If a provider isn't open to questions, just move on knowing you two probably aren't a good fit... cat

I collect fascinating men... ;) cat

Darling asdr, I do understand your perspective. What is said appears to be a line of answers that read as politically correct statements to any given comment that may be posted challenging or questioning situations that arise in this unique world we choose to live in. Truth be told, there was a time on CERB when topics were new. There were questions to be asked and answered; perspectives to be debated and enlightenment shared. It was time when the boards here in Canada were very Wild West and there was no safe place for providers to converse with hobbyists and CERB stepped up. This board provided a haven for the people that weren't looking for a flame war but genuinely wanted to connect; even if only online. For a while there was much to discuss and the archives will verify that no stone was left unturned. But the trolls continually tried to move in, both male and female alike and rules developed to keep the conversations respectful and from that we have the CERB of today. Is there room for improvement to promote more meaningful discussions on CERB? Absolutely! As with all things, it's either growing or dying. What would you recommend as a change for the challenge that you see? I'm not asking this sarcastically, I genuinely am interested in your response... cat

I carry one of everything when it comes to body wash and for established guests I purchase their preferred soap; putting it in a soap saver with their monogram on it so they are the only one that uses it. I do believe that it's the little details that make an experience worth having... cat

My dog would love this thing, he's a fiend for water anywhere, anytime. That said, his unexpected forays into my shower with me keep him fairly clean. I would consider investing in one if it was big enough for a client... ; cat

When guests are here... We drink out of gold trimmed crystal but when I'm alone I use mason jars and straws liberated in bulk from Harveys. I wear silk and Jimmy Choos to entertain but when I'm alone I live in a oversized red onesie with a trap door and moccasins I entertain with amazing cheeses and exotic fruits displayed like magazine food with linen napkins but when I'm alone I live on egg salad and bacon out of a tupperware container. In the winter, I only shower when I have a playdate. The rest of the time, a sink bath suffices otherwise my skin would dry out and fall off. When I walk out the door as Catherine St.Claire I channel Catherine Deneuve or Jackie Onassis. When I walk my dog, I wear long johns, camo and wellies or a vintage crazy homeless lady 1960's fake fur coat and hat with Hush Puppy boots topped with my reading glasses so I can read my bb while waiting for him to finish. I serve gourmet coffee with cream to guests, make instant with protein powder when I'm alone. Basically when I'm alone, I look like my housekeeper and live like the simple, wrong side of the tracks girl that I was born. I don't apologize when someone catches me being less than my classy self because I actually think I make mason jars and camo look good! cat

Actually a la carte pricing wasn't frowned upon when it was an industry standard and I feel all inclusive pricing was implemented to keep clients happy. Be full of care in what you wish for. When it was practiced, it made the cost of an appointment far more expensive than the hourly structure we see today... cat