Jabba

Read a thread about a fellow hobbyist who has a fuck-buddy. JEALOUS!. Just wondering if I'm missing-out on the good life. Does everyone here have a FWB/NSA type of thing going-on? Am I just an ignorant slug with his head stuck up his slimy monopod?:icon_cry: Just how the hell can I arrange one of these relationships? Is there a website or do I have to be intelligent AND attractive to find someone at Walmart?

A very thoughtful thread. Some of you might know me as someone who leans toward exactitude which also borders a little on stupid OCD rigidity. I have difficulty thinking outside the hamster cage...round and round I go on the wheel until I stop. Ever watch Big Bang Theory?...I'm a little bit of Sheldon except not so annoying. Well, maybe a little bit annoying. Anyway - same goes for a session. I measure the second I step into and out of the ring. I expect the SP/MA to observe the same rules. Anything that deviates from the game (such as conversation after a session) just blows my little hamster mind. But wait, there are exceptions. There was a very kindly, well respected and now retired SP who was just a little surprised that I should have to bail because I lingered a few moments beyond our time. She actually invited a conversation. Imagine the scene - Here I was, together with a fucking gorgeous, naked, smiling woman casually sitting on her couch. She looked lonely and wanted me to stay to make her laugh. I couldn't do it because my fucking hamster mind told me time was up. I am sooo haunted by that image I want to go back and re-do it. I didn't know what to do....honestly. She actually enjoyed our time together (as did I). It was so unexpected. She was solicitous, conversational, kind, beautiful..I could have kissed her face till it melted. But all I could do was pace nervously in little steps across the floor because that's what I do when the parameters are exceeded. Lesson - don't do what I do. Be sensitive & be aware of your surroundings. Don't pace in little steps. If your companion gives subtle or obvious cues to linger, by all means - linger if you can. Make a friend, be a good person, let someone enjoy your company. Savour your time because it's the small and maybe sometimes, few precious stolen moments that are really memorable.

Flying - I can fly (naked) in my dreams so I don't need that one. Super Strength - Nah, how would I deal with it in the boardroom? Xray Vision - Good for party games I guess? Mind Reading -People's thoughts are generally extremely boring & random. Good taste in clothing - Now there's a super power to which I can relate!

I hope Heaven has a lot of trees, fire hydrants, parks, throw sticks, balls, chew toys, bones, kibble, beef (no pork please - makes my guy barf), blankets, grass (my guy loves the feeling of grass between his toes), cozy fireplaces, loving hands to give skritches, groomers, hugs. Whew - did I get 'em all?

I know your post was made with all good intentions and there was nothing harmful with it. No one can craft a post which is sensitive to all forms of political correctness, cultural differences, individual tastes, states of mind, etc. All you can do is try to enjoy yourself within the context of this forum. If someone takes exception, so be it. Let them have their 2 minutes of rebuttal/rant. Life goes on. Maybe once they calm down & reflect on their own post, they may learn a thing or two.

HAALLLLPPPP! I'm starting this thread a little early so I have time to consider all options. After 50+ years of having turkey as the main roast beast for Christmas, I am finally ready to let go of tradition and think outside the North American Universe. I am officially done with the turkey thing. For now. No promises 'cuz if all else fails, I need to have a fall back plan. Please, please help expand my universe. Tell me something about what you will plan this year. Inspire me to take my first shaky step outside the Christmas fog of tradition. Ideas?

I first met "Blade" back in High School; Grade 9. On the first day, the HomeRoom teacher took attendance and called out the names of each pupil. Teacher was puzzled about the lack of a gender specific name - just "Blade". He always sat at the back of the classroom. On more than one occasion, the teacher had to confiscate a weapon or some-such. Got to be a running joke after awhile....Better check out Blade's pockets - they might be loaded Haw Haw Haw! Blade was a typical teenager - kind of skinny and awkward and he mostly kept to himself. But, what stood out about him was that he wore black leather all the time. Shirts with high collars. Even wore black leather shorts and T-shirts (with high collars) in gym class. Didn't go over well with the gym teacher because it clashed with the school colours. Gym teachers were kind of picky then. We got acquainted in Science class. Pig dissections. He did very well. We both enjoyed the pungent, invigorating smell of formaldehyde and that cemented our friendship. Once you got to know him, he was funny batshit crazy! Boy, we did some stoopid stuff back in the day. Frig, he used to crack me up when he'd rearrange the school library...while hanging from the ceiling. You should have seen him at the prom - Hooo Boy...he emptied the room faster'n you could say: "I like dead people". Even now, though we're both older and wider, we still have a great friendship. He's also a great bargaining wedge when it comes to negotiating a deal for a new car or mortgage. I like when he smiles & hisses. Last month, we dropped in at the local Toyota dealership. I can still hear the car sales guy saying: "Here! - take the damn car!....It's yours!!...Just don't eat me!". Holy-O-Jeez, we both slapped each other on the back and roared with laughter over that one! Whenever I need some quality guy time, it's pretty cool to hang at his warehouse (or whatever the hell it is). He's got the ultimate guy garage - lucky bachelor bastard. Whenever I can, I escape for the evening, crack open a beer & tinker with all the latest anti-vampire gear and warehouse security shit. Cameras, automatic detection devices, lights, etc. I'm not much of a gun nut, but I do love all the moving parts & special effects thingies. It's also pretty spiffy to do a "Vampire run" to kick some blood sucker ass. I'm the guy munching donuts in the bomb-proof family van BTW. When things get tough on Parliament Hill & the Senate, I save the evening & press the right missile button at the last, critical moment to save Blade's sorry butt. Ha, and he thought he could do without me. Saayy, I do tend to get carried away, don't I?

Have you tried re-booting?

A couple more: SHOTGUN: Usually as a result of eating beans and tacos. Very explosive and leaves the bowl looking like a crime scene. DAIRY QUEEN: Has a wonderful, creamy texture. Piles very nicely and with some practice, you can top it off with that trademark curl.

Kinda' bored here so please excuse the low grade post. Thought I would do a little research on different kinds of bathroom experiences. THE HOUDINI (also known as "The Ghost"): You know you've crapped. There is crap on the toilet paper but none in the toilet. It just up and disappeared! TEFLON: Comes out so slick, clean and easy that you don't even feel it. No trace of anything on the toilet paper, you have to look in the bowl to be sure you did it. GOOEY (also known as "The Slider"): This has the consistency of hot tar. You wipe 12 times and you still don't come clean. You end up putting toilet paper in your underpants so you don't stain them. This one leaves permanent skid marks in the toilet. SECOND THOUGHT: You're all done wiping and about to stand up when you realize it, you've got some more. THE ELVIS: This is what killed the King. It doesn't want to come out until you're all sweaty, trembling, and purple from straining so hard. Try not to leave bite marks on the door. WEIGHT WATCHERS: You drop so much you loose several kilograms. RIGHT NOW: You better be within 30 seconds of a toilet. You burn rubber getting there. Take small steps & clench tightly. Usually, it has its head out before you get your pants down. KING KONG: This one is so big that you know it won't go down the toilet unless you break it into smaller chunks. Yelling at it won't do any good. A wire coat hanger works well, so carry one at all times. This one usually happens at someone else's house. CORK (Also known as "The Floater"): Even after the third flush, it's still floating in the bowl. My god. How do I get rid of it ?? WETNESS: Hits the water sideways and makes a big splash that gets you all wet. Loads of laughs! WISH: You sit there all cramped up for several minutes, but no deal. CEMENT BLOCK: You wish that you'd gotten a spinal block before you tried passing that nasty bugger. SNAKE: This one is fairly soft, about as thick as your thumb, and at least three feet long. THE MEXICAN (Also called "The Screamer"): You know it's okay to eat again when your pucker stops burning. BEER AND MEAT PIE: This happens the day after the night before. Normally the doo don't smell too bad, but this one is BAD!!. Usually this happens at someone else's house and there is someone standing outside the door waiting to use the bathroom. *Note: This one is my favourite. I dropped one of these at work. I was washing my hands while the next guy came in & used the same cubicle. He closed the door, only to have to do an emergency evacuation 2 seconds later. Instant gratification.

Ya, I agree with the opinions here. It's a simple business transaction Oscar & you should not get wrapped-up in any fuzzy-minded thinking. You don't need permission to see anyone from anyone, so go for it. Why do MPs hire more than one MA?...it's cuz people like variety and it's good for business!

I liked your post Il Re - pretty cool experience. Life is worth living when you encounter an unexpected moment, discover new territory & make a friend or two in the process. I understand what you mean about intimidating folks. Some of the damned nicest people I have ever met did make me uncomfortable at first glance. I remember a summer job as a student...I met a guy with purple spikey hair in the cafeteria. About my age at the time. He loudly called over to me from across a few tables & asked me a question or two. I'm a bit of an introvert, so I didn't really respond openly as I would now. The guy was a Brit expat. I got to talking with him later after my initial shock - turns out he was just the greatest guy. Intelligent, experienced...I learned a thing or two from that fella. Keep exploring dude but keep us in the loop.:icon_biggrin:

It seems a rather nasty ransomware virus is making the rounds: CryptoLocker. You may or may not have heard about it. Do a search. It pays to do regular backups. http://couleetechlink.com/new2/cryptolocker-removal-how-to-remove-crypto-locker

Thanks guys. DuckDuckGo is my new homepage.

So, I'm wondering if there are any really good web search engines out there. I'm convinced Google is filtering out the good stuff & keeping it for it's own greedy self. Maybe I need to educate myself on using effective key words. There are engines, but they kinda' blow too: Bing Yahoo Delta Excite Am I being too fussy or paranoid or just plain ignorant. Anyone have any engines they like?

I'm with Mod - I don't see what would be wrong about a cooperative arrangement. I think the OP is just looking for a playhouse. I'm just kinda unsure about the conditions. As long as it doesn't get into running a bawdy house or living off the avails or contravene any laws, it could be fun. Am I missing anything?

When a show is boring, you can't go wrong with buying the hot sauce IMO. Is it really, insanely hot?

Kanata is like another country to me too....and I frigging live there!!

Got my first bike & license at 18. Got a 350 Kawasaki S2 triple two stroke. Frig that thing was light & fast. Absolutely no good on long trips. Lucky I survived. Here's a pic with the same colour scheme.. http://www.motorcyclesunlimited.co.uk/1972-kawasaki-s2-350-for-sale-2/ Bike was too small. I wanted to give myself a chance to grow into larger displacement & not get into trouble. If you want to keep alive on the highway get into a 750cc at least. Got rid of the bike after a year & did not ride until my early 50s. Got an 1100 Yamaha Vstar. Changed seat, exhaust, hand grips. Added a windscreen. Bike pissed me off cuz it bottomed out with a passenger over bumps. Gave ass a severe rash (before changing seats). It was ok to ride, but despite the larger displacement, it wasn't up to long distance. Too bad. Next bike - Honda GL. I know it's like riding a city bus, but it's got the power and goodies. I'll get a nice used 1200 or 1500cc. The 1800cc is too stupid for me.

Only had 2 dogs in my life. In my early years we had a fox terrier with a stubby tail and a mischievous streak. He would wake me up at 4am to tell me he had to go to the bathroom. I would wait (half awake) at the door until he came back to be let in. He would bark until I opened the door...stand there looking at me...then fuck off for a little romp. Repeat 4-5 times just for laughs. Extra funny in the Winter. I laughed until I stopped. Second dog - American Eskimo-ish. This guy is still with us, but getting pretty ancient. In his younger years, he would have made a great used car salesman. I would teach him some tricks like rolling over, etc...then give him a treat. Well, he liked the treat part more than the trick. We would ask him to roll over, but if he didn't feel like it, he would just sort of turn around, smile as if to say: "Tah-Dah!!", hope we didn't notice then bug us for the treat. Dad was a Veterinarian. He worked at OVC as a prof and took me on occasion to help out at the farm. One time, we had to round-up some turkeys, corral them & put them to bed. What a pain in the hiney. And you thought herding cats was difficult?? On the educational side, let me tell you, as a 7 yr old, I saw some really weird shit at the college. Did you know pigs will scream like bloody murder when you try to draw a blood sample from their ears?

Saw a wild story about two idiot bikers tearing up a section on Hwy 105 in Quebec-land. The road to Wakefield. They got caught close to the cop shop and each face fines in excess of $10k and could stand to lose about 113 demerit points. One guy had a helmet cam & recorded the crazy ride. Cops used it to bust his nuts. I didn't know you had over 100 demerit points to even lose!? What does that mean...you lose your license for the next 5000 years? Years ago, I got nabbed for passing on the right & got fined about $75.00 & lost 2 demerit points. Took about a year to earn them back. Anyone have bigger boo-boos to confess?

Thoughts are with you friend. Laugh or smile (or masturbate) at least once a day :biggrin:.

http://www.despair.com/demotivators.html http://www.engrish.com/ (never to fail while to crank me up) ...oh, and honey roasted peanuts (evil little bastards!!)

Well I'll be damned. An innovative idea for sure!

Just cuz the SP is advertising a service doesn't mean they're legally obliged to open their legs to everyone that walks in off the street. This is a business & therefore SPs have business principles regardless if we agree with them or not. Rather than being discriminatory, I prefer to call it "Selective Selling". :icon_wink: