Jabba

Is big hair supposed to be sexy? I see various models with ridiculous huge, tangled, stringy, wild, bedhead, spiked, spangled, strangled, striped, highlighted, bleached, coloured...sigh. You get the point. Whatever happened to bald? I like bald. Would you go bald?

Do you have one arm in a sling? If so, can you drive ok?

What's the best technique to use do you think? Let's say in a MMF situation, is there an awareness of what the partners are doing, or is it just a "do your own thing 'till you bust" sort of thing? It must be really hard to coordinate 3 squirming bodies. Is there such a thing that everyone blows at once?

If a guy was flexible enough to suck his own cock (yep, it's out there); what label could be applied in that situation? Personally, I think congratulations would be in order! :bigclap: No more lonely nights.

I've seen it done in porn, but I'm wondering what the reality is like? Would you do it again? Is it a must have? Anyone going to try it? Myself, I'm such an uptight wad of nerves, I would droop on the first thought of crossing swords lol!

Sounds like a Hollywood thing - combination Pretty Woman and 9 1/2 weeks concept? Often, the reality is somewhat less sexy than the concept. So what if yer roomie wants to entertain? Is that going to be at your convenience? Music? Cooking? Laundry? CleanUp schedules, Dishes, TV, Rules of the house? How are you going to kick her out if she doesn't want to play the game 24/7? How do you really know the person you're inviting to live in your home - what if she has some friends who aren't so nice? Are you going to interview everyone she knows? Request a security deposit? What if extra keys are made and given to every Tom/Dick/Harry? Are you going to feel comfortable taking a vacation & leave your valuables? What's your insurance company going to say if you get ripped-off? God, I love being paranoid!:icon_eek:

At the risk of sounding rude, your board colours & metaphors are lost on me. I have no idea what you're talking about, but I'm the first to admit, I need to get out more. I'm intrigued; can you expand on the content in your post? On 2nd thought, discussing other boards here is verboten, so we may get sanctioned. I sort of understand what you are getting at, but unfortunately, further discussion will get us both yelled-at or...?.

I'm a little reluctant to start this thread 'cuz I know there are certain realities when performing oral on a member. Lubrication is key. I have limitations, but that's just me. Maybe it's just my old slug-fartness shining through (more than likely!). I've had experiences where the lady needs extra lube and the convenient lube of choice is a good amount of spit on the old Johnston. So, said lady holds said Johnston firmly in hand, takes aim, gobbles up a fair amount of goober ....and...PTTOOIEEEE!. Makes me jump out of my skin. I for one REALLY don't like this. No No No! Disgusted! Remember the movie: The Fly? It's like when Jeff Goldblum dissolves a box of doughnuts with vomit and slurps 'em up. Mmmmm. Yummy, eh? Digestive juices! Imagine you as an SP - and a guy doing some fine DATY. Things down South start to dry a little, so said buster starts snorting & blowing all sorts of crap at the taco stand. From a female perspective, would you stand for that? I know oral technique is a unique experience and you should expect some saliva exchange. How can I delicately approach the provider to share my phobia?:icon_eek: Anyone else in the same boat?

Crazy video. I've seen this before too. Good grief, the crap public servants have to suffer sometimes! I like to hope this behaviour is the exception. Cops are pretty straight-up folks. Got stopped a couple of years ago for a traffic infraction. Speed trap. Constable was a regular, nice guy. He even thanked me for not hitting him when he stood in the middle of the road and pointed me over for speeding. Long story short, I was a stranger in a strange land & didn't see certain speed limit signs. I was doing 80 in a 50 zone. He saw there was genuine confusion, so he let me off with a caution.

Don't want to sound harsh here. I know it's gotta be difficult when dealing with people's lives. I'm thinking you have to come to terms with the job and I think you have to ignore your own personal lifestyle & dispositions. Every job has it's ethical standards; some are statutory, industry monitored & others you are free to struggle with at your own convenience. Can you choose to ignore, alter or apply these standards according to your own conscience? Are you doing due diligence to your client? Is there a part of your investigation that makes you believe something could be traced back to you? Is this going to be an on-going concern? If you choose to not reveal all the information you disclose to your client, how are you going to pro-rate any refund? How are going to explain any refund to your client?

Oh my goodness - this so reminds me of my youthful hobbying days. I used to ask all my incall hostesses the same question: "Are you an agent of the police"....ohh, fergodssake!! If they were police, they would never admit it. It's an incall in CANADA. We're brainwashed by US cop shows. I've NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER EVER had an issue with LE on incalls. If I did, I would simply clam-up (by law, you have to reveal your ID & Address) and call my lawyer.

Anything Bach - especially with harpsichord He was one lively cat.

Is that your pooch on the chair? Mine can't sit still long enough to do that. As soon as he see's me walk away around a corner, he has to either explore & get in trouble or come and find me for a reassuring scritch. Hyperactive critter.

Here we are - in the dead of Winter, in the middle of a deep freeze in Ottawa. Saw an Ad on TV that inspired me to start this thread. I've been to a few beaches. Liked most of 'em. Most fun was Panama City Beach Florida. Lots of drunk college babes in bikinis, white powder sand, beer stands, wind surfing, etc, etc. Yours?

Some useful hints on how to stop masturbating. You need consult Engrish.com to understand the completely advise of the expert as it happens. You happy as are you sexually partner. Be the utmost happy as me:handjob:.

Ok, here's a tough one: does the Pope masturbate? ...I'm not sure I even wanna think about that one! What expression he would have to use? Pounding the Pontiff? Punching the little Pope? Strangling the one-eyed Cardinal?

I think about it ...A LOT! Sometimes a gracious, righteous masturbation it isn't very convenient. For example, when I'm shoveling snow, cooking bacon, talking with the next door neighbour, swimming, taking the dog for a walk. You get the idea. Now, if anyone can tell me how to do any of the above while juggling a chubby, I'm all ears. For now, maybe a few expressions will do: -- glaze a knuckle -- pushing the envelope -- knob polish -- Charming the one-eyed snake -- Playing tug-of-war with Cyclops -- shaking hands with my wife's best friend -- Choke the chicken -- Charming the lizard -- Practice one hand drumming -- Beat the puke out of a penisaurus -- Bash the bishop -- boxing the bald headed champ -- Tantalizing the turkey -- Taming the shrew -- Bopping the baloney -- Abusing the wicked stick -- Adjusting the antenna -- Aiding and abetting a known felon -- Applying the hand brake -- Arguing with Henry Longfellow -- Arm-wrestle with your one-eyed vessel -- Badgering the witness -- Basting the ham -- Be your own best friend -- Beat the bishop -- Beat the bologna Beat the dummy Beat the meat Beat the pud Beat the stick Beat up your date (comment: hmmm, seems to be a lot beating goin on here) Beef tips stroking off Bleed the weed Blow your own horn Bludgeon the beefsteak Bop the bonzo Box the Jesuit Box with Richard Brushing up on your typing skills Buff the banana Bugger your hand Building upper-body strength Burp the baby Burp the worm Butter the corn Calling down for more mayo Calling in the secret service Caning the vandal Caulking the cracks in the bathroom tile Charm the snake HOLY CRap - it goes on and on! I didn't make this stuff up. I've only got up to "C" in the alphabet. There's actual websites dedicated to this stuff! And that's only for the guys.

I've heard & seen fucking machines. I wonder if there are blowjob machines? Interesting concept. Maybe I should invent one?

Never had a leak or warping door frames - god forbid! I have this one kinky corner that seems to grow a huge and nasty chunk of ice every Winter. Happens to grow on the 2nd story roof overlooking my front entrance. Come Spring time thaw, this block of ice detaches itself from the roof and looks for victims who just happen to want to sell me some shit at my front door. I have to modify my mailbox sign from "No Soliciting" to: "Duck you sorry bastard!"

For me, I follow the rule of ratio of weight to colour. If my balls start to drag on the ground or turn a bright blue, then I know I need to conduct some business. I like to leave a little room in my pant legs to allow for some "droppage". If the junk starts to interfere with other pedestrians or get caught up in the snow blower, that's a clear signal I need to consult a professional. The other side of the equation is what I like to call: "The Shining". The Shining is most noticeable in the dark. You can actually see a couple of darling & tender fur covered nads hovering over (if not actually laying on) the floor. Please don't mistake them for rodents and try to stomp on 'em. They belong to someone - most likely me. I wish my hair stylist could address this issue for me, but I live in an uptight suburb.

Nope, not talking about grey hair here... I'm getting quite a pile of snow accumulating on my house roof & I'm wondering if I should get someone to clear it off. Without exaggeration, I think I've got about 2.5 ft. loaded. It's a combination of wet snow, a layer of ice & then fluffy stuff. Typical Ottawa crap. Throughout the day, I hear some minor creaks & I`m wondering if my house is under duress. What do you think? Anyone else in the same boat?

Not that I give a crap, but Conan laughs like Cesar Romero (the Joker) from the old Batman TV series. I liked Romero as an actor. He was fun to watch. Conan - meh, I`m sure there`s talent with the right venue. Don`t expect any comments. Just watching late night tv....which blows btw!

Thank god for bread machines! I think I should learn how to make breads without yeast. I get a stomach lump with yeast & white sugars. Not bad for a first attempt if I do say so m'self. Confidence builder.

This isn't really in keeping with my previous thread about weightloss. Oh well. I've NEVER made bread before & I hear it's really complicated to do it from scratch. Ex girlfriend's mom was crazy good at it, but it took her all morning to make buns, breads, etc. She had a lot of mouths to feed, so that was the most economical means. They had an old farmhouse with a woodstove in the kitchen. The woodstove was kept lit most of the time just because it was a pain to start. It was wonderful to smell the baking bread. It was even more wonderful to smear some butter and preserves on a fresh bun after it was done! Some coffee to wash it down - man, nothing finer! To start from scratch is too much for an ADD guy like me. Sooo, I'm rediscovering my breadmaker. Actually, I never discovered it in the first place, I was just afraid to use it. Today is the day! I'm using a recipe I got online cuz the recipes in the instruction book are too long & complicated. Basic white bread. Warm water, sugar, yeast, flour, salt, Veg oil. I'll let you know if I fucked-up. Anyone more experienced here?

Cristy, I'm going to step out of reality here. Imagine me as the yummiest, smoothest, dark chocolate, naked-beef-bunny-with-the-biggest-boner present stuffed in your stocking. And I'm a life sized chocolate beef bunny too. Good luck without ripping your stocking apart! HA HA haaaa.... Ok, so where do you start? xo J.