Jabba

I got kinda misled by the headline to the post: " In search of big ass" I hope I'm not the biggest ass in town but hey, just like the old joke about politicians, I can step up to the plate if there's enough money involved.

Ya, understood. What if the lurker is an unscrupulous competitor trying to get inside info or an SP assuming another identity to get an opinion on themselves? I've suspected as much with a few PMs. Fun & games.

I've had a few questions from lurkers myself. My response is simply to repeat the SP's or MA's services as described in their Ad, or, simply claim amnesia & say I can't remember. I don't feel any sense of duty or loyalty to lurkers. I don't know who the hell they are or their motives. But, I'm kind of thinking maybe, as a courtesy, I should cc said SP or MA and make 'em aware about the query in case lurker contacts them. What do you think?

Bald! The head is a total erogenous zone. Hot or cold?

Hard and real slow Mike Myers or Freddy Kruger?

Pizza. 2 x medium: 1. Plain cheese, light on the sauce, onion. 2. Pepperoni, green pepper, hot peppers. On a special note, I'm the one who ordered the hot peppers. When will I ever learn? ouch ouch ouch!

I'm a guy not really blessed with bushy eyebrows. I got a few stray ones that give me an Egor look. Take a look at hot celebs like Sean Connery, Leonardo DiCaprio, Brooke Shields, Cindy Crawford, David Ferry (fake), Andy Rooney, Colin Farrell, Zachary Quinto, Martin Scorsese, Groucho Marx, Early Madonna, etc.. BTW - Just noticed Leonardo Da vinci's Mona Lisa forehead is bald. Most of his chick portraits seem to be bald. Wonder what's happening South? I think he likes trim work. Some of his works such as John the Baptist were definitely self portraits IMO. He's got a self portrait as an old man - nice furry 'brows. Anyway, back to the subject: Short term - I was thinking I should glue a nice, lush bush on the old forehead. A uni-brow would be ok as the first application. Then, shape it up to give me celebrity character. Long term - Do you think a hair transplant would work?

Holy crap - Saw it originally back in '64 on TV. Loved the show. I ordered that episode from a local video store in the 90s. Took awhile, but got it in VHS. Starred Robert Culp. Filmed at the famed Bradbury building in LA (where they also filmed part of Blade Runner). Thanks for bringing back the memory.

Leafs. Long hair or short hair?

Wouldn't it be great to have a Zombie line dance with like, 50 dancers doing their thing to Thriller?...on my front lawn

My collection of Hallowe'en gear is getting a little tired, so I'm looking to kick it up a notch or two. Last year, I had a fog machine, some lights strung-up over the front door and the pumpkin (naturally). Actually scared some poor kid away from the door. I was thinking maybe I could get some red LEDs for the pumpkin eyes, articulated jaw that moved to an evil laugh track & of course, the fog machine. What other kind of crap can I do this year?

Crustless Quiche - without broccoli. Family member can't stand broccoli, so I use spinach instead.

Money to the food cupboard Money to the animal shelter Get a new mailbox (mine is all banged-up & looks like Sh--t!). Get a new sign on my mailbox that says: "Go Away!". For some reason, "No Soliciting" doesn't work!

Jeez, the Champix therapy sounds really evil. I did the patch. I wasn't very pleasant to be around for about 4-5 days, but it worked for me. Lost an older sibling to the habit. Maybe that was a message to me. Only quit once & that was about 7yrs ago. I consider myself a non-smoker, but maybe I shouldn't be so smug. Upon reading some of the comments here, I can totally relate to how one can so easily fall off the wagon. I have absolutely no cravings, urges or need to try a smoke now. But, once an addict, always an addict?

Personally, I have no problem with it cuz I have a dog & can sympathize. If you're traveling, I guess you have to find critter friendly hotels.

I understand your concern sir, but fear not, people in Ottawa are very understanding when it comes to maintaining discretion. This is after all, a political town. Everyone has something to hide. If I were completely politically paranoid, the only time when someone is outed, is when they piss-off someone higher than they (them?). Or, alternatively, if someone has a political agenda or interest. What I'm saying is, IMO it doesn't matter if you go to a parlour or an indy. If someone is out to embarrass you, they will find a way regardless of your massage choices. Good luck J.

My struggle with the forces of good vs evil. I noticed a little flag of nail/skin on my right-hand pinky. Hmm. Don't like that. Don't like that at all. I have a grooming protocol that compels me to keep things clean, neat, clipped, tidy and organized. My brain immediately goes into grooming mode. "Peel the thing off - get rid of it - don't have any loose things hanging about". Yeah, that's the ticket! I wouldn't exactly call it a personality disorder although some professionals may disagree. It's just my own...protocol (I don't know what else to call it fer God'sake). I haven't lived these many years to ignore the signs of impending doom. I know something about consequences. I look at this innocent blemish & I say to myself: "Nah, this isn't anything to worry about - go ahead, peel it off". My encourager happens to be my evil angel (dressed in red btw) sitting on my left shoulder. My primitive lizard mind tells me something about survival. I'm going to regret something. I ignore the warning for the moment. I hear a faint whisper from the fog in the distance. My good angel who sits on my right shoulder (hands clasped together in a prayer mode & dressed in virgin white robes) earnestly and calmly says: "Don't do it asshole". I hesitate. Then I go ahead and do the stupidest thing in the world. I grasp the flap of skin and slowly peel backwards. ow ow OW Jeez, does it have to hurt this much? And what's with all that blood?! So, I got the hangnail. I also got a big boo-boo. I still haven't learned anything cuz' I'm gonna do it again. My kid is making fun of me. Why do I do this crap?

--Chuckle--. Our combined list of jerks would be very long indeed. Where would one stop? What would have happened to our history if these insane bastards didn't shape it? What would have happened if JFK, RFK, MLK survived? Those guys were all nuts in their own unique way, but we think of them as visionaries because they didn't have a chance to outlive their time. JFK launched the U.S. involvement in the cuban crisis & Vietnam war. RFK didn't have much of a chance to write policy, but he did ride the red scare coat tails a little with Senator McCarthy. Among other things, MLK was a plagiarizing, womanizing, wife-abusing horn dog. Leaders, yes. But their behaviour indicates we would have to add 'em to the list.

I watched a program on Alexander the Great - Ancients behaving badly, on the history channel. That guy was an absolute psycho! How could one stop anyone like that without shooting the prick? How could anyone take-on the role of being a despot cleanser - so many psychos? Sooo many narcissistic pricks - just a few to choose from. You'll be very busy: Me Khufu Nero Caligula Caesar Augustus Germanicus Alexander the great Catherine the great Edward I (long shanks) Henry VIII Elizabeth I Napoleon Bonaparte Andrei Chikatilo Joachim Kroll Albert Fish Adolf Hitler Charles Manson Ted Bundy Clifford Olsen Paul Bernardo Karla Homolka Jeffrey Dahmer Saddam Hussein Muammar Gaddafi O.J. Simpson Idi amin Most corporate CEOs/Executives Most movie stars (except Viggo Mortensen) Most Politicians

I wish I could be a dog (for a day). To experience smells 10,000x stronger than my puny human nose. To crap in the middle of the road & everyone will understand. To pee anywhere I want. To run faster than 15km/hr. with my tongue hanging-out. To enjoy a belly rub without (necessarily) having to get a hard-on. To sleep anywhere & anytime I want. To hump anything I like without judgement.

I know Thanksgiving, in part, celebrates harvest bounty - but I really can't stand turnips, squash, pumpkins or gourds generally. I wish I could enjoy them, but the old gag reflex kicks-in & it just won't go down the hatch. Bitter taste. Yams & sweet potatoes are just way too heavy. Anyway, enough of my whining. I love grilled stuff - onions, beans, broccolli, peppers mixed in olive oil - a few spices. Throw 'em in a wire basket & burn 'em on the Q. Yay.

I was exploring videos for double-ended toys. Verrry hot!

Man, I've seen 'em all. The most prolonged death scene I ever saw was Andy Warhol's 3D Frankenstein. Pretty rare film. Dr. Frankenstein had to have had at least a 10minute death scene with his gizzard hanging out at the end of a spear...said dripping gizzard meat was dangling for the audience to enjoy while Dr. F stuttered through his final lines. Pretty memorable. ick I love revenge death scenes - oh yeah, Arnold, Sylvester, Bruce, Van Damme, etc... Yers?

Darksoul, Open letter: Personally, I don't hold any grudge. In fact, I really liked this thread, not only is it entertaining but, because it shows how much people care about people. Yes, that includes you in your own unique way. I like to think this give and change dialogue is the Cerb spirit. I truly think you can benefit from the friendship offered here and encourage you to reach out. Feel free to knock on my door anytime bud. J.

I'm wet.:icon_lol: