Jabba

Loved it....:icon_mrgreen:

Apparently, Captain Curmudgeon has quite a randy reputation with the female aliens. I think he had ambitions waay beyond his human ability - especially with the Kelvins (Season 2, episode 50, By any other name). Calinda is a multi-limbed creature capable of multi-tasking (ooooohhh - I wish I could explore this one). Alien love making could open up an entire new hobby. Give me something round and smiley with several hands...maybe green is good.

oooh, Chavez, so sorry this amount of hurt happened in your and your wife's life. Best hopes for both of you. I don't understand how someone could hack into your hotmail account and cross connect to your shared account. Was your shared account a hotmail account or was there somehow mention of your regular email address in your hotmail communications? I wonder also if there is any way to figure-out who hacked your email? Best, J.

It sounds like you've put a lot of thought into what might be the perfect MA GFE session. Very nice thoughts. I look at your post as an idealized experience. Maybe if you discussed with your fav MA, she might be able to help you along the way? Now, I'm going to bring out my own personal neurosis. Personally, and I say this not to nit-pic, but I prefer to handle my clothes myself. I was recently at an MP & the very nice lady offered to help dress me. Very uncomfortable for me. I don't like people doing things for me like that. Wish you the best in your search.

Reviving an old thread. Thought of another amusing ingredient. Last week, I had to get rid of a TON of old flour, corn starch, bulk oatmeal and other miscellaneous powders. The green bin was filled half-way. Just enough weight for Mr. Garbage guy to be able to lift overhead & yet more than enough bulk for said garbage professional to be thoroughly coated & look like a ghost. Man, it's like I'm like an Artiste.

Yeah, I think some would get a kick out of a little dick slap. Might be rare, but if it can be done, it's gotta be out there somewhere. Just guessing here....

On a few occasions, during a session with an SP or an MA, something very curious happens. I need help to understand what's up with the behaviour. The lady in question will pause. Give me a long, meaningful look straight in the eyes. Then she'll start to fling my schlong from side to side. Slap slap slap goes the schlong as it bounces off my legs and abdomen. Other times, the lady will just shake the thing like they're strangling a rat or something. No slap slap slap from side to side....just jiggle jiggle jiggle. Another meaningful look....slap slap slap or jiggle jiggle jiggle. HUH? It doesn't hurt or anything, but it really doesn't do anything for me either. So, my question for the ladies out there: is there some significance attached to this exercise or is it just for laughs? Don't misunderstand me, I can understand the fun factor if your bored or something and feel the need to slap some meat around, but this is just kind of, I dunno... unusual? I guess the female equivalent would be if the guy stretched the labia so that it would hang down and then started slapping it around... Respectfully Signed, Stumped.:confused0024:

Had a DT experience recently with an SP that caused some serious gagging (on her part). I was kinda' put-off by the session 'cuz I didn't want a nasty ending. In fact, I was surprised by her persistence to ride the edge of the vomit comet. She seemed ok with it. Different. Don't care to repeat.

If you could change your sex for, let's say 48 hrs, would you? Imagine the scene: Walk into a clinic and say: "I'd like the 48 hour special please", and the nice receptionist guides you into the next available examination room. The specialist walks in and smiles the specialist smile and asks in the appropriate condescending tone: "...and what can we do for you today?"...to which you reply: "I would like the 48 hour special please." Once the appropriate forms are appropriately signed, the specialist produces a huge syringe, explains the side-effects and gives you a final option of go or no-go. You decide to bite the bullet and take the injection. "Ok, turn over", says the specialist with a wide specialist grin. The adventure begins as you take it up the special spot...you know that special, sensitive spot that I'm talking about. The physical effects begin to take hold immediately. You know what it's like to get drops at the optometrist - things get fuzzy pretty quickly. And you just have to sit there while various parts disappear or appear... depending on what gender you were/are... The serum changes you into a fully mature, functional and gender re-assigned individual. Gender interests are also re-assigned unless otherwise requested. What options would you go for?

I was doing some mild internet rummaging and decided to look up the term "Douche Bag". Just to say I did it, y'know? Apparently although this term has been around for at least the past 30 years, I've learned the more modern definition. Back in the 70s, I understood a DBag to be someone who was generally an Asshole. I just enjoyed the inventive use of language at that time and assumed this was another derivative. Wow. Times have changed. Apparently, a Douche Bag is now a descriptor that applies to someone of the Jersey Shore persuasion. Don't ask me why. Spiky coloured hair Spray-on or spa tan Buff muscle head Tshirt wearing Physically attractive but morally & characteristically shallow With all the stuff I've done, I'd call myself a douche=bag. But I question myself if there's other worse stuff out there.

I used to love the Girl Guide sandwich cookies until they changed to chocolate mints. And, from the tone of this post, you can tell I take cookies very seriously! I hate chocolate mints. I hate them like you wouldn't believe. They're totally soulless little pieces of creep. They have no satisfying crunch or munch or texture. They just "are". They bug me because they have no indication of genesis...no traceable origin. No ingredients that I can identify. Spooky. The GG sell these Chocolate mint ghost cookies. I don't give a Shot if they (the chocolate mints) are for a good cause - I hate 'em (the cookies) & you can't make me buy 'em! At the Supermarket exit, where the GGs usually park, I have to duck my head like Dark Man every time the cute little one's ask me to buy the cookies. I tilt my hat downward and skawk: "Go away", in a burned voice. I then scuttle away to my slug-enabled car. Bring back the vanilla sandwich cookies. I used to like to stick them in the freezer and they get nice and cold. Sort of like an ice cream sandwich. God I wish I had a box full of those suckers right now; I'd eat the hell out of it. Gimme Gimme Gimme those vanilla sandwich cookies! Ok, got that rant out of my system. --Whew-- ...no wait, there's more coming....: I want a real cookie. The only proper cookie is something with oatmeal, chocolate chips (real ones) and/or raisins. The soft warm ones. Don't give me the hard, crispy crap you can buy in the boxes. And, while I'm on the subject, y'know, I think I've ODd on Mrs Fields. Can't handle the sugar content anymore. I need a healthy, chocolate chip-filled, oatmeal, soft chewy raisin (maybe), large, brain expanding cookie that can give me a gooshy, mind blowing, explode in my pants smiley orgasm any time I want. YYess, ohh, yes, gimme that morsel - I neeeed it...rub it all over my tongue & give it a little nibble. I love the way it melts around an leaves tasty pieces to enjoy. Ohhh shhhiiiiii----------t you little cookie muther. Biting into a wonderful cookie is like revealing and peeling the peach for the first time. It is sooo sexy! Ahem. I do like a little cookie delight.:tongue:

Got to admit I'm a little confused about how to use the categories here. I figured since this was a massage reco, it should go under Massage. But since it's a reco, maybe it should go under the Reco section. helpmehelpmehelpmehelpmehelpmehelpmehelpmehelpme

I've seen Vivian's Ad on Cerb for a number of months now & curiosity finally got the best of me. I texted an appointment request and her response fit with my schedule perfectly. Rang the doorbell at the appointed time and a very petite, very pretty young Asian lady answers, smiles and invites me in. Brief introductions all around and Vivian guides me to one of the rooms. The room was equipped only with a bureau and a massage table - clean and sensible. Paid the door fee and she excused herself while I made ready for the massage. Came back a few minutes later and we discussed the session options. Well sir, let me tell you she blew my socks off! She is a lady of few words, but I appreciate that she is simply concentrating on giving you an unrushed, wondrous experience. Different positions, techniques and pressures all led to a great finish. She works from a house in the West end. A quiet and respectable residential location. She also works occasionally with another lady and will do duos when her partner is available. I highly recommend Vivian. She's a very skilled and sweet lady. Will I repeat? Hell YES! http://www.cerb.ca/vbulletin/member.php?u=66050

Everything that has been said about Lee - I agree 100%! See my rec in the massage section: http://www.cerb.ca/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=99989

I was attracted to Lee's latest Ad (re Tongue Massage) and decided to answer the call, so to speak. After arranging a time through texting, we finally got to meet. http://www.cerb.ca/vbulletin/member.php?u=57472 http://www.cerb.ca/vbulletin/showthread.php?p=369154#post369154 I gotta tell ya, Lee has the most engaging personality. She just doesn't expect your complete attention, she demands it! You better eat your wheaties boys 'cuz she's got some serious energy to lay down on you. I told her the kind of session I would like to share & she was very accommodating. Such a good soul this lady has. She is a Cape Bretoner thru-&-thru. Very welcoming, charming, made me feel at ease instantly. You couldn't meet a nicer person. We did just fine thank you. Go see her.:bigclap:

I use to sell real estate a lifetime ago. Man, there are people who want to dream outside reality. That guy was totally unqualified to buy your boat. Waste of time. Very unfortunate that you have to encounter people like this during the process. Words of encouragement - Keep going RG. You never know where you will make a sale. It may take awhile, but timing and persistence takes the prize.

Language is culture and culture evolves to suit the environmental, technological and political forces of the day. I think one doesn't need to learn to quit swearing altogether. I think one needs to learn to swear well to impress (sort of like dress to impress). I'm a passionate cusser. I don't do it often enough. I think we sometimes struggle in our little individual worlds and need to break out a little further to discover the variety, colour and invention of language available at our fingertips. It's not necessarily the words that we have at our disposal. Words are just the tools and by themselves, they are absolutely meaningless. Make a short list of the (special) words you use in everyday language and you soon discover that while each has it's own flavour, the depth of implied filth and insult is relatively similar. If you insert a rude word in a sentence simply to punctuate a random thought or motivation, then what have you demonstrated; your upbringing, intelligence, level of education, willingness to shock....What??? It's the culture and surrounding history that lends credibility and meaning to what you have to say. To truly appreciate how to curse well, you have to know and appreciate your own background or the background of your audience. My background is Scottish. Well...ok, not much to work with. Farm animals, alcoholism, assault, low-level thievery and a general hatred of the Brits come to mind. By themselves, each category has little amusement value. But - if you combine them, then you have the makings of really great material! Do your research. Be inventive. Enjoy your cussing, but for goodness' sake, do it well. Other people will appreciate its value and you will get laid more. Trust me, I'm a little Scottish Slug (take that you drunk-ass, thieving, sheep-loving British Bastards!).

I'm curious if these things work. Does anyone have any experience to share? Does it restrict ejaculation? :dncdick:

Don't worry, I can pull out in time.

What would sex mean if it were denied. Is it any less meaningful or powerful? I've experienced a moment with a prospective partner in the most unlikely of moments. It was at a tradeshow. I was providing constructive feedback to a rep on the level of service received from a branch. The female rep was initially on the defensive, but gradually took on a very receptive pose. Holy crap, I could have shagged her rotten right then and there! What if a person were blind or otherwise impaired? Would a disability deny a person a true sense or vision of sex?

Oh yeah. I forgot to add mucous to the list of good stuff. Thanks!:icon_eek:

I'm watching a show on vampires & on the very top surface, there is a sexual component that appeals, maybe primarily, to a female audience. Darkness, danger, pain/pleasure, decadence, tragedy, fluids, whatever. I don't think sexuality can be defined by the desires or archetypes of any one gender. How would anyone objectively describe sex in terms of a human experience? Is sex genderless or is it defined by basic gender drives? If so, which gender has the most complex sexual desires? Media: I bring this area up to get it out of the way. The media has a huge backlog of sexualized (sort-of) images to pump product. And this is an area that causes me the most angst. This is commercial sex. It's pernicious and in my opinion harmful. But, this is another topic. How would you describe sex in terms of something that cannot be articulated. Maybe as something experienced? Are there shapes, colours, gestures, touches, behaviours that define sex for you?

I did a session with an SP who used to go to the same senior public school as me. She said I looked familiar, but I never let-on who I was. Didn't matter anyway. The session blew chunks & I never saw her again. She quit the biz shortly thereafter. But I would definitely go forward with an appointment with a hot friend. The discovery & awkwardness would be a huge turn-on (I'm such a perv :icon_mrgreen:).

Not odd at all, and thanks for sharing. I figure when it comes to consciousness, dream states, individual experiences, whatever you wanna call 'em, you got to wonder at the commonality. Despite the panicked moments (and I'm not unsympathetic), I'm wondering if your experience was conjured from a deeper, more primitive survival instinct? My child suffered from night terrors. From the descriptions, these were no joke. Very disturbing dreams. Where the hell the dreams come from is a mystery.

I'm sure everyone has had a dream floating, flying, publicly naked, robbing a bank, etc. I remember one of my wackiest was where, for no good reason, I was given the bum's rush out of a DC-3 by Richard Gere. I don't really like the guy in real life as an actor. For some reason, he bugs me. Probably a pretty decent guy if ya get to know him. Anyway, on with the story: it was really annoying because not only did he invade my dream, but the stupid prick pushed me out the airplane door before I had a chance to put on my parachute. It was ok sort of, because I dragged him out the door with me. So, there we were falling to Earth & I was punching the hell out of the guy. Landed some good shots too. Boy, was I mad. Eventually we hit the ground and I was still punching the beans out of the bugger. Hmmm, apparently, I just exploded the myth that if you hit the ground in a dream you die in real life. Got any good ones?