dirkgently

Isn't that the way the world is supposed to work? Good to hear about it when it does happen.

'Twas the night before Christmas, and God it was neat The kids were both gone, and my wife was in heat The doors were all bolted, and the phone off the hook It was time for some nooky, by hook or by crook. Momma in her teddy, and I in the nude. Had just hit the bedroom and reached for the lube When out on the lawn there arose such a cry, That I lost my boner and poor momma went dry. Up to the window I sprang like an elf, Tore back the shade while she played with herself. The moon on the crest of the snowman we'd built, Showed a broom up his ass, clean up to the hilt. When what to my wondering eyes should appear, But a rusty old sleigh and eight mangy reindeer. With a fat little driver, half out of his sled, A sock in his ear, and a bra on his head. Sure as I'm speaking, he was as high as a kite. And he yelled to his team, but it didn't sound right. "Whoa Shithead, whoa Asshole, whoa Stupid, whoa Putz, Either slow down this rig or I'll cut off your nuts. Look out for the lamp post, and don't hit the tree, Quit shaking the sleigh, 'cause I gotta go pee." They cleared the old lamp post, the tree got a rub, Just as Santa leaned out and threw up on my shrub. And then from the roof we heard such a clatter, As each little reindeer now emptied its bladder. I was donning my jacket to cover my ass, When down the chimney Santa came with a crash. His suit was all smelly with perfume galore, He looked like a bum and he smelled like a whore. "That was some brothel," he said with a smile, "The reindeer are pooped, I'll just stay here awhile." He walked to the kitchen, himself poured a drink, Then whipped out his pecker and pissed in the sink. I started to laugh, my wife smiled with glee, The old boy was hung nearly down to his knee. Back in the den, Santa reached in his sack, But his toys were all gone, and some new things were packed. The first thing he found was a pair of false tits, The next was a handgun with a penis that spits. A box filled with condoms was Santa's next find, And a six pair of panties, the edible kind. A bra without nipples, a penis extension, And several other things that I shouldn't even mention. A cock ring, a G-string, and all types of oil, A dildo so long, it lay in a coil. "This suff ain't for kids, Mrs. Santa will shit, So I'll leave 'em here, and then I'll just split." He filled every stocking and then took his leave, With one tiny butt plug tucked under his sleeve. He sprang to his sleigh, but his feet were like lead, Thus he fell on his ass and broke wind instead. In time he was seated, took the reins of his hitch, "Take me home Rudolph, this night's been a bitch!" The sleigh was near gone when we heard Santa shout, "The best thing about sex is that it never wears out!"

Did you forget about Carley Chase? She is exactly what you are looking for.

I am very heavily involved in the world of autism and very active with both the local and national autism societies as well as early intervention and the CACL. Thank you for getting the message out there.

I remember it perfectly. It was the end of my thinking the world was a wonderful place and the start of a dark journey that lasted about 12 years. To be honest, that was just the final tip of the scale. I ditched school that day, hung out with some friends by the tracks where we painted "Lennon is dead, hope is lost" on the side of a bridge. Now many years later I just wonder about how much we actually lost that day, surely an immeasurable amount.

Stellarton? Watch TV. Pretend you are not in Stellarton.

OK, now I'm terrified to move, could happen any moment. Why am I sweating?

Scrooged. Bill Murray all the way.

Some psychopaths are born, others made. We may never know. I rarely speak well of ultra-conservatives or rednecks, but in this case the people of Texas may have the right idea. The only problem with capital punishment is that he won't suffer like his victims did.

From all the decent intelligent men out there, let me apologize for the cretins. Common sense and decency eludes those that do not seek it. On their behalf (and because of them), we are all sorry. You are truly gorgeous!

Carley Chase is the top of the line in Fredericton. She is on cerb.

the weirdest i've received: foot powder and a bobby curtola cassette in the same box (and only a couple of years ago, cassette?) the weirdest i've given: a gallon of mayo (because it was requested).

Agree totally, Amber is grezt, but very busy and sadly has limited time available.

I can't believe no one has said Better Off Dead. I WANT MY TWO DOLLARS!!!

if you want to feel squeamish try the Saw movies. for psychological terror not many better than the original Hitchhiker with Rutgar Hauer (or how ever he spells it)

i did until megan fox came along. everytime she talks i throw up a little in my mouth. damn beautiful though...

i would have to disagree. kate beckinsale in my book.

I prefer going old school. You can still buy those pull out sticky strips, they work great. We get them once every year (some time in August) and they work perfectly. Just hang a couple up, in a couple of days they will be gone.

In the 80's I met Joe Montana and Kim Mitchell, in the 90's I met Jacques Villeneuve and Margaret Atwood, in the 00's Lindsey Lohan (and she was sober) and Bill Gates. No one in the 10's...yet. a varied group, but everyone of them were perfectly pleasant and easy to talk to.

I believe she retired not long after moving to SJ. It is too bad, I agree she was a class act.

go to the cottage, jump in the lake and don't come out until it is dark

as long as it's not Barney (or other kids music), I'm good to go

I'm all for the natural look no matter what body part it refers to.

go with avafoxx's idea. it has worked in the past.

i watch very little tv and tend to be doing something else while watching. if i do see a commercial i tend to change the channel. i'm far to suggestable as it is.