Parker

Two words... Sleep Clinic. Not everyone needs 8 hours of sleep, if you feel rested when you wake up that's all that really matters. If you don't, you should see a doctor. There seems to be an awful lot of self medicating going on in this thread, (which I don't totally disagree with,) but self medicating can be dangerous, even with natural items. Sleepeze can be very dangerous for the heart, and St John's Wort, when taken improperly (like with wine or cheese) can lead to an increase in blood pressure. I hope everyone's playing as safe with the OTCs as they do with sex. ;)

I use non-latex condoms that are made from a polymer, not sheep gut... and they just as effective as latex condoms. (Durex Avanti Bare)

Maybe not to you, but in a time when people are trying to equate trafficking to sexwork and child prostitution to CL and online forums -- I think I'd like to leave out anything that could be used to reference children OUT of the PUBLIC general discussion area of an escort forum.

I seriously got your point.. I agree with most of it, but I don't think you can shit on some posts for being pointless and not really suited for Cerb and just pass over all the rest because you're interested in such. It's hypocritical. Edit; I know you were saying in a specific place, not just anywhere or anything... I'm paraphrasing.. kinda..

But then how exactly is cats relevant to general discussions? Because we have pussies? lol In my opinion; the 'like' doesn't make it sound less creepy... Family is family, community was a perfectly acceptable word on it's own.

But family already has a pretty clear definition... none of them really suitable for what your trying to describe. Adjective: Designed to be suitable for children as well as adults. Noun: A group consisting of parents and children living together in a household. I know this sounds bitchy for english, but a lot of stigma and panic comes from people using improper language or misinterpreting what someone says...

Definitely, definitely not a family. If a member of my family tried to pay me for kinky sex I'd probably throw up. It is very much it's own little community, but I think that's where the analogy has to end.

Lots of things create stigma.. I think STDs is probably the less likely to with the educated public... And the people who do point fingers at escorts as being STD carriers aren't going to stop because we don't talk about it. Honestly though, I think people don't get enough credit... Panic? What year is this? If you panic of STDs... here's a hint -- GET TESTED. Test results, panic ends. Simple as that. I'm with you that the ongoings of everyone's private lives are of little interest to me, (and many others here...) but I mean we draw the line as STDs (something relevant to escorting) but bring on... pictures of cats and kittens? I'm all for more positive, sexy posts... but it would be nice they were still generally related to the site.

HPV is not always curable and can not only lead to warts, but cancer of the jaw bone, penis, anus, vagina or cervix... other strains cause HIV-like symptoms. I know of a couple friends who have developed cervical cancer by contracting very serious strains of HPV. I thinks threads like this keeps popping up because people are forever being misinformed about things. Like HIV 'cures' in China or that you can't catch anything from bbbj... I'm always surprised at how little people seem to know about STDs/STIs.

Neither actually... It's the politics of the situation and not the situation itself that's annoying me. With such limited information (as is common with these sorts of threads) I don't understand how having a assumption pro-poster is acceptable, but having an assumption pro-someone/something other than the poster is bad? With the limited information I don't understand how most assumptions wouldn't be right. Another thing; People talk as if when you post somewhere like in the General Discussion it's trusting and between us -- it is not. It is public and visible to anyone who checks out the thread/site.

I still don't think it was tasteful... I doubt people would care so much for the thread (or even accepted it) if people weren't all hung up on the mental illness angle. About what you said here though; I don't think it had anything to do with mental illness. When you break up with a guy, is it not because you don't want to be with him? Depending on how long ago it was and how bad the end was, I'd be a little creeped out if there person I was trying to get away from (separate from) has now not only run into me, but has decided to make small talk with my parents in the store. This is what I mean about these posts, there's too much speculation about what is going on... so why not just not post it? Posting something like this will have some people supporting you and some people not, even if there not voicing such opinions. Look at the thread about ladies who have partners... Some gents actually spoke out that they don't like knowing, but these threads complaining/talking about girlfriends, ex girlfriends, ect... usually get the 'it's okay buddy' response quicker than anything. Seems completely hypocritical.

Can anybody give me an example of how or why this is an important fact (her mental illness, if such exists) that it should be broadcast publicly on an 'escort recommendation board'?? I don't think rants about ex gfs should be allowed anymore than rants about stalkers and bad clients... there's just too much one sidedness for my liking. Honestly, break ups sucks.. they hurt... but it's not a crime for someone to not like you or not want to be with you. Such a decision should be accepted just as much as someone not wanting to perform a specific sexual act. If you choose to be someone, especially if you claim to love them, that disorder (from what little I know about love) wouldn't be something you focused on. People with mental disorders already live with enough without having a partner who thinks they deserve a prize for 'living with them'. I honestly think anyway you look at it, this type of thread is better left to other boards.

I get you may be sad, but as a woman I find it overly offensive that men are forever accusing other women of having serious mental disorders. Even if she IS BPD, (or anything else for that matter,) what do you gain by announcing it to people? Whenever I hear a guy complain about his girl or ex-girl like this my brain thinks either; a) some guy just making stuff up. b) he's blaming her, allocating blame to her illness c) he's pointing out how great he was and how horrible she could be by making light of her illness. I'm just getting really sick and tired of guys painting a woman as mentally ill for a multitude of reasons, none of them involving actual mental illness. Which is a serious and sometimes very sad subject... not something to be thrown around just because a woman isn't interested in you.

I did when I first started... I was more concerned about my methods of screening and less confident in my gut instinct. (I also has less resources, such as Cerb and the wonderfully helpful ladies here.) I don't now, but that's because I feel my gut and other methods and more effective.

LOL! That's funny... but I've heard that from other girlfriends of mine. I think it definitely takes some courage and faith in your gut (and other people) to do this job. And they are outcalls to your home no? That could be the reason... They may just figure they have your address (or the address of a place you're borrowing) and so you're not going to try anything and risk the chance of having the police show up at your place.

If you find a reputable you'd like to see but are worried about privacy and being screened, talk to her about it. She may not want ID, she may not want a reference or a full name... she might have 1 to 4 other methods up her sleeve and if you're polite and open about it I'm sure most would talk to you about it and offer you a couple options of screening they use. If you are not comfortable with the methods she's chosen, thank her for her time, politely decline making a booking and move on. I think all clients should be prepared to give a little towards the comfort and security of the escort they're trying to see. We want to give you a good time, we don't want to spend all our free time screening and wondering about you-- but we have to. We have to guard ourselves against the bad people so we can continue to be happy, healthy ladies, around and in good spirits to have tons of fun with the great gents out there.

Unfortunately, other methods of screening which require the SP not take any personal information only protects the SP until she meets you. I don't really want to list out all the methods of screening and safety as I feel it may take away from someone else's trying to be safe. If I tell you all the ways other may keep themselves safe, I could be giving you ideas of ways to circumvent those... and I hate hearing about these girls who fell victim to yet another sicko they have yet to catch. I just wished that someone would have taken information of people like The LI Ripper, or the CL Killer, or Picton, or Joel Rifkin... you know, BEFORE body upon body started piling up. 'Extreme' screening method might not have stopped people like this, but it could have had them caught long before they were able to kill that many people.

Is this thread about the 'buddy system' or SP safety in general?

I personally don't ask for real names, but thought I might throw in my thoughts anyways.. :) You're absolutely right, asking for a real name is not going to keep you safe... but I think when used properly with other screening methods and 'gut instinct', it's probably a very effective tool. I've said it once and I'll say it again and again... Not all screening methods are directly used. For example; I ask you for a reference, you protest.. Red flag. I ask you for a reference and you politely explain your lack of... Gold star. While some ladies might want to verify your name, others may simply use it to see if you're going to protest, make something up or sneakily try to avoid the question of a name... Screening methods are best when combined with other methods as well as instinct.

No one is saying your safety is less important. What people are trying to say is you do take FAR less risk. You, as a client, are never taking as much risk as your escort. And my life is far more important than your name. You might get ripped off, be put on a black list... But I may be chopped up into little pieces and dumped into a ditch, not only losing my life, but deeply hurting those who are close to me. It's not nice and even I don't like thinking about it, but it's a reality. To this day there are serial killers out there, uncaught, taking their anger out on prostitutes of all types. (street, escort, ect.) When a client says and acts like he is taking more risk than I am, it's completely thoughtless.

I find Gents seem to forget that part of the equation a lot when visiting us and worrying about things like getting caught. That we, quite literally, are sometimes putting our lives on the line... that we can never really know when we will be made victims and we do things in attempt of not only keep ourselves safe, but to also put our mind at ease that you won't be the last person we see. While it's far more likely you will be a fine upstanding gents than some dangerously mentally unstable person... I think as with STDs, we do have to recognize that that particular risk does exist. We have to recognize and then take steps to prevent the risk. For some, this involves getting a real name.

You can actually, on threads there will be a little link in the top right of a post that says 'View Post'.

Being an indy is great -- IF you can manage time and money and have some sort of business sense. (or a good knowledge of the escort industry.) It's time consuming, you have only yourself to blame if you screw up... and yes, it costs money... sometimes lots of money. But, I choose who I see, when (not all agencies give you this choice, some do.) and I get to keep all the money I make. (Which doesn't always have to go to expenses.) I started with an agency and I'm glad I did as I knew far less when I started than I do now. They took the calls, hired the driver, tried to send me to good gents and at least called before and after calls to make sure I was alright. I still had to buy things, (condoms, stockings, clothes) but they took care of pictures and ads and did take some steps to try and keep me safe. Unfortunately, not every agency is good, they do take a fee, may advertise you differently than you would leading to clients you wouldn't normally see... and you have to deal with one more person than just your client. You're (typically) not as 'in control' when working for an agency, but if you can't handle running your own business or simply like working (or are more comfortable) with an agency... Why not work with one? EVERY job is going to have pros and cons... what works for one person may not work for another. You can't say all agencies are crappy anymore than you can say all independents aren't really independent. (Which some of us most certainly are...)

If your original post was similar to a contact e-mail sent to me, I would say shorten it slightly. An introduction of yourself is nice, since I typically know nothing about you at that point. A couple questions are fine, but try not to be too overwhelming... a few important ones is better than 10 all at once. I'll remember you like kissing and stockings, but only if it's not buried in story about the time you were 18 and went off to college and met a girl and thought she was great... I personally don't mind longer e-mails, but I do find some people overdo it and would have been better off adding some information into their next e-mail. If you want a bit of back and forth, learn a little and engage the lady... that's perfectly acceptable. I would hate for someone to think I'm saying there's only one way to properly contact a lady, there are many. If you'd just like to set up the booking and leave the 'getting to know you' for when you meet, keep it simple. When you put some care and effort into writing a lady, we pick up on such and don't really care if you're not the best writer. If you're putting in an effort and not getting the response you want, it could be you're just not compatible with the lady you're thinking about seeing. We might be human and forget some things or have bad days... but I think providers like myself (and especially the ladies here) are out to give you a pleasurable time, not a hard time because you're nervous or new to escorts and didn't write the perfect first email. Avoid; Jumbled thoughts, one liners, forgetting a name, coming off demanding or rude, or being completely thoughtless. Remember; We're real people, we have different lives and preferences and we (at least most of us) want to give you an enjoyable experience... but you have to help us a bit with that part. Some of us have websites and contact forms, take advantage of these. They're a way of helping you contact us.

All e-mails get my full attention, I can't imagine someone wanting you to contact them via e-mail... just to have them not read it. I can't say I'll remember absolutely everything in an email, but I doubt I'd remember everything from a call if I was taking calls all week. At least if I have an email, I can usually reread previous parts of the conversation. I do find some people write overly long or hard to read emails, sometimes with lots of pointless information in an attempt to get absolutely everything out right off the bat... These can be overly tedious to weed through, looking for important bits. If you're contacting multiple, reputable providers and getting the same types of responses I would suggest looking at if you're writing style may be causing it.