MightyPen

I've seen Jolie several more times since first encountering her at the end of last year, and our time together keeps getting better and better. I haven't posted further recommendations for fear of looking "shillish" -- but I've been tempted. I'm glad you had a great time with Jolie too -- she's a real gem.

What's that -- there are only 30 Canadians!? Boy do I know a lot of foreigners! ;) I think that's really around $10 per Canadian. We were about 30 million in the 2006 census, and estimates are around 35 million now.

Yup, I don't think we need to arm ourselves against some kind of Cold War-type massive military invasion; I just can't see that happening, or our modest forces being able to withstand the most likely though bizarre culprits (the U.S. and Russia). What we DO need is border surveillance and security: a decent navy patroling our vast coastline, working in concert with a modest air force geared almost exclusively to observation/search/rescue. Then we need what we've always been famous for: rock-hard troops trained in all kinds of conditions. Our country reeks of trees. We've got some awesome ranger troops, and that's where we can specialize and really stand out. Finally, some lift capability so we can go intervene around the world where it suits our national philosophy. I imagine we can get by with our current fighter jets, patched up and maintained 'til doomsday. The only things they're likely to be used against are errant civilian aircraft, anyway. (Clearly this is not a subject I deem dangerously political. ;) )

I think what the OP is saying is that he didn't want to pursue her while she was seeing another guy, because he thought that was unethical for himself and the woman. He waited to see if she'd leave the guy of her own accord, without trying to lure her away by fooling around behind the other guy's back. Then he found out that when she did leave the original guy, it was because some other guy had been "wooing" her while she was with the first guy, and she had become involved. Because she was unfaithful (to some unknown degree) to her original partner, he's disappointed in her and lost all interest. (Off on a tangent: ) I remember getting some really good advice 25 years ago: never leave someone ONLY because a different relationship looks more promising. The other relationship could go sour too. Only leave someone if your current relationship fails on its own merits, not because it falls short of what you imagine another will be.

In an ideal world I could post my thoughts on any topic without consideration for their effects that might have on the "model" people naturally construct of who I am and what I'm about. But I've found that in reality, facts learned about one aspect of a person can affect how they're perceived on totally different topics. I *can* post on any subject here, and CERB is a remarkably thoughtful and non-judgmental group on many, many subjects. But just because I can do it doesn't mean there isn't any risk or cost. Ya can't mess with human nature. Some subjects are best avoided in general discussion (I think), as they tend to get in the way of relationships in surprising ways.

I agree -- and like an earlier poster I was thinking about the "sex, politics, and religion" forbidden subject set recently when considering whether to post at all in one of the election threads. I've made brief comments in the election thread, and even touched briefly on religion once, but in general those aren't subjects I really want to pursue here. So I doubt I'll post much more on those matters. I find both subjects *extremely* interesting, but I have other places I can talk about those. But for frank talk about sex and sexuality with people whose opinions interest me, CERB is a unique resource. I don't want to mess it up by making needless pronouncements on delicate subjects, and risking that people become less accessible to me on matters I DO want to discuss here.

I saw this case referenced last night in a Liberal TV attack ad vs. the Conservatives... which is pretty weak political ammunition even for a political ad. They even had the woman's picture in the ad (sexy sells!). Really disappointing.

Yeah, the fundamental problem is that the left-of-center vote is split between the Liberals, NDP, Green, and Bloc. Right-of-center voters can just pile on the Conservatives. I seem to remember the Conservatives getting seriously trounced back when the Right was briefly split between the Progressive Conservatives and Reform. A coalition of the current opposition parties would be the most democratic way to rule the country, since between them they represent the majority of the voters in the last election. I personally hope that despite Ignatieff's pronouncement, that's the way things go after this next election -- but that's just me. I will add one thing: I'm tired of governing a country being treated like the running of a corporation. A nation is about FAR more than its balance sheet. Our government is *us*. It should embody our national identity and further our unique social interests, not just get out of the way so businesses can make as much money as possible. Balancing the budget is an important responsibility of the government, because without a sound economy none of the social welfare and national identity concerns can be addressed: there would simply be no money. But that's the ONLY reason why balancing a budget is important -- to let the government do the rest of its job, which is advancing the Canadian cause inside and outside of our borders. I want each successive government to proclaim that we are CANADA and THESE are the things we stand for -- and then further those things. I don't even mind if the parties list different things, provided they list them in their platform and reflect them in their policies, and then let me choose the ones I identify with come election time. But right now I'm just seeing a lot of lukewarm stuff clustered around a familiar center. No passion, no identity, no view into the future -- just pushing the same few pieces around the board in the same tired old way. No wonder nobody is inspired to vote. It's enough to make one spoil their ballot: "I'm awfully proud of this country, and NONE of you represent what I expect from the government of Canada."

I'm exactly the same. If I'm drinking "regular" I prefer Coke. For diet drinks (that's 95% of my soft drink consumption) I MUCH prefer Pepsi. I used to be okay with diet Coke until a few years ago, when it started to taste horrid and metallic. No such problem with diet Pepsi.

The Conservatives had it within their power to avoid an election; they could have cut a deal with the NDP on benefits issues and survived. They chose not to, and instead tabled a budget that they knew would be voted down. Bingo -- an election they can blame on the opposition, and the Conservatives get to say they're shocked -- shocked! -- at the outcome. I think Harper did math and concluded he wouldn't come out worse with an election, and might possibly come out better. The Liberals are just entirely limp under Ignatieff. Shame they didn't vote Rae as Liberal leader when they had the chance -- the guy's imperfect, but I think he would lead a much more credible opposition. Unless something dramatic happens in the next little while, I don't think there's much hope of many people changing how they voted last time around. The Conservatives have stumbled recently and Harper's ironclad rulership of his party is creepy, but I'm not sure the opposition can get much mileage from that without also offering a credible alternative built on their own ideas. I'll hope for something dramatic.

I always like making initial contact by e-mail so I can express my interests clearly. I also send an e-mail afterward to thank the lady and let me know what inspired me about our time together. I don't usually initiate any more than that, out of fear that I'd be one of many guys taking up her time with casual e-mails. But if the SP contacts me, I reciprocate and sometimes an ongoing conversation ensues. Those have been some interesting conversations! I'm in the same boat. I like being up front with the ladies, so I always ask them during the initial contact to double their fees or cut our time in half, just to make up for the fact that I'm ancient and hideous. ;)

I can't understand why she would receive anything less than the maximum possible sentence. This is the coldest, cruelest, and most sustained case of exploitation and personal fraud I've ever heard of. *shrug*

"Pain or damage don't end the world. Or despair, or f**in beatin's. The world ends when you're dead. Until then you got more punishment in store. Stand it like a man, and give some back." - Al Swearengen

Okay, now I'm getting really curious. Can someone point me to exactly where I can see this "TAG" icon? :) I gather it's NOT the same thing as the "tags" (aka keywords) at the bottom of posts.

Curiosity drove me to search for posts that were candidates, and I suspect it was this thread: Thread It's tough to be challenged (especially when the eventual carry-away from a post is just a couple of specific words), but at the same time we need to encourage reasonably free discussion here. Folks need to be able to say they disagree, and even be emphatic about it as long as they're still respectful. CERB is a good, diverse community. It's all good as long as we make well-considered and respectful posts, and are prepared to defend our opinions against challenges -- even people saying we're plain wrong. And if someone's critical post grates the wrong way, consider the critic's point of view and be generous when ascribing their intent -- even if it feels like they didn't seem as generous when ascribing yours. We all know words can be read in ways the author didn't really mean. Text is an awfully limited form of communication, particularly when things get touchy. I'd hate to feel I couldn't challenge someone's viewpoint here, and had to treat all opinions as equally valid. At the same time I hope I remain respectful in my disagreement. That still leaves a lot of territory to work with, and in my time here so far I'm happy to say that I've seen very few threads cross the line.

Yeah, that's just... a *really* bad idea. Public sex is a gamble, and if you're unlucky I imagine the charges could make life difficult going forward. I imagine there are some very secluded places that could reduce the odds of getting spotted... but being in someone's car in a spot THAT secluded carries a whole new set of risks. I just can't see this working out.

I've written elsewhere about the value I get from time spent with a good SP. I've found there's a very rewarding relationship level that allows me to enjoy an SP's company, talk openly, share freely, and become genuinely affectionate with each other -- without driving over the cliff of "we're in love!". Let's compare this with psychotherapy. A conventional therapist isn't actually your friend, and is seeing you professionally. But that doesn't mean the person doesn't genuinely care about you, nor does it mean you can't have a valuable personal interaction and learn extremely useful things you carry away with you, and employ in the rest of your normal life. A good SP is like that therapist. The encounter is paid for, but that doesn't mean the interaction is somehow illegitimate or based on deception. You both know the rules and the limits, but there's a lot of rewarding space to explore within those boundaries. You can get close to an SP, and it can be rewarding, yet the relationship can remain professional. The job of a client is to take that experience and carry its lessons and emotional benefits into his broader life. I haven't had any favourite SPs retire, but my dentist has. :) He was a good guy and I'll miss him, but I wish him well in his retirement and I've found another dentist. I think that if I can't see my favourite SP any more, it'll be similar even though the service was a lot more intimate: thanks for everything, good luck in your future, and I'm glad we had the time together that we did. I'll genuinely miss her company, but losing people is part of life... and steadily more common as we grow older.

Hey, this is *very* handy, informative and concrete. Thanks very much for doing this. I look forward to the remaining parts in your series.

Good colleagues definitely make the bad parts of work easier to bear. I'm happiest when my colleagues and I respect each other but are informal; are capable at our jobs but still find the funny side of things; are dedicated to what we're doing, yet have full and interesting lives beyond work. This makes morale soar, because we all like to work with people whose company we enjoy and who we know will support us, not hinder us. It also makes teams work better, because communicating and collaborating works really well amongst a group of people who feel they can really talk to each other honestly, figure out what needs to be done, and then do it. I tend to change teams fairly often in my line of work, and it's always fun to find the people in a new setting who are open to this kind of atmosphere, and set about building it. Some people just can't shake a weird and needless stiffness and formality at work; you just have to let them be and work around them.

What's that? You waste porn by watching it in private? ;)

Very nice, thanks. A teeny bit sentimental, but the basic message is bang on... don't stop living. Ever. There are some strong pressures on all of us to know and stay in our assigned and expected places. If you liked that, you'd probably love the movie "Waking Ned Devine". One of my favourites.

Do things done in private ever involve the Internet?

I've had a couple of unforgettable encounters in London, but it is expensive. Like everything else there, it seemed you were paying the same rate as you would here, but in Pounds instead of Dollars. So, effective cost was +50% (depending on the exchange rate at the time).

Absolutely nothing at all. Closest I came was finding (at a very young age) that my parents had an old 50s paperback book about the human body, which had blown its graphics budget by splurging on red ink for some of the line-art illustrations. After that, it came from friends and porn.

And an intro by Robert Crumb! Score! I'll definitely grab this when it's available. EDIT: Looks like it's debuting at the Toronto Comics Festivial, May 8-9. (It scrolls around eventually in the "Books debuting..." area.) Toronto Comics Festival