VedaSloan

http://www.informationliberation.com/index.php?id=6390 They enter the massage parlors as undercover detectives. They leave as satisfied customers. In Spotsylvania County, Va., as part of a campaign by the sheriff's office to root out prostitution in the massage parlor business, detectives have been receiving sexual services from "masseuses." During several visits to an establishment called Moon Spa last month, detectives allowed women to perform sexual acts on them on four occasions and once left a $350 tip, according to court papers. Spotsylvania Sheriff Howard Smith said the practice is not new and that only unmarried detectives are assigned to such cases. Most prostitutes are careful not to say anything incriminating, so sexual contact is necessary, he said. "If I thought we could get the conviction without that, we wouldn't allow it," Smith said. "If you want to make 'em, this has to be done." But numerous police and legal experts said they were not aware of other law enforcement agencies in the country allowing sexual contact in prostitution investigations. "It's insane," said Charles Key Sr., a retired Baltimore police lieutenant who trains police officers and federal agents across the country. "If you allow officers to go through with the act, they've violated the law. You don't get an exception for participating in a violation of law." Harry "Hap" Connors, chairman of the Spotsylvania Board of Supervisors, was not aware county investigators were having sexual contact with suspects. Typically, a verbal agreement to provide services, plus an overt act such as undressing or producing a condom, will support a charge of soliciting prostitution, according to prosecutors, defense attorneys, police officials and law professors. Key and others said undercover officers need only obtain an offer of sex-for-money to make a case. Jon Gould, a criminal law professor at George Mason University, said, "I've never heard of that anywhere else in any police department. You don't have to go through with the act to prove (solicitation)." He said it is an improper use of taxpayer dollars. Smith and Spotsylvania Assistant Commonwealth's Attorney Thomas Shaia likened the situation to investigators buying drugs from a drug dealer. But police officials and prosecutors in many jurisdictions said buying drugs is not analogous; officers purchase drugs for evidence, but don't use them. Smith said his department's approach was not a secret, since detectives had testified to similar experiences in trials of other massage parlor operators. Spotsylvania sheriff's deputies have shut down several massage parlors with the help of the Virginia attorney general's office, specifically its Financial Crime Intelligence Center. The director of the center, Edward Doyle, authored the affidavit for the raid last week on Moon Spa, which resulted in the arrests of the spa's alleged proprietors.

I got in on this as well, and I kept guys I've met and those who I've met, but not in a work context, but still know to be reputable. Thanks to Victoria for coming up with this idea.

I have to agree with Charlotte and others. Just to add, in terms of decrim groups in Ottawa, we now have POWER (Prostitutes of Ottawa-Gatineau Work, Educate, Resist). We're a new group, but hope to model ourselves on groups like Stella in the future. http://www.powerottawa.ca xo Erin

It?s You I?m Afraid Of Folks want to be supportive but sometimes they don?t get it and that?s OK. I don?t expect people to know everything?I?m still learning too! But you should know that when you don?t get it, it can really sting or, I?ll be honest, irritate the shit out of me. So it?s you that I sometimes protect myself from. It?s you who I will avoid or go silent with because I just don?t want to deal with how disappointed I feel. It?s you that I write for and to. It?s you that I want on my side. You are the ones who?s judgments, stereotypes, awkward silences and ill-informed questions I watch out for. It?s you I?m afraid of. On Being Safe I know you want me to be safe because you care about me. But when you say ?be safe?, who do you think we sex workers need to protect ourselves from? Were you thinking about all the times we?re tokenized, treated like a pariahs, refused visas, criminalized, researched like a bug, had others speak for us, caricatured in the media, asked totally offensive invasive questions, had our sanity and humanity questioned, our skills erased and ridiculed, risked arrest, deportation, eviction and (in my family) the threat of losing child custody? Were you thinking about the burden of secrecy from my family, or how many times I?ve tried to refute the same stereotypes over and over, and what it?s like to be told by a friend that I?m damaged? Is that what you meant? The Imaginary Victimized Sex Worker Everyone (in particular people who see themselves as sex work allies) wants to find the Imaginary Victimized Sex Worker. If it isn?t me, it must be street workers or the underage or the addicted or the so-called ?trafficked?. It isn?t. Think of the manufacturing or hospitality industry: some settings are good and respectful, some are shitty and abusive. But the concept of victims in need of rescue is never helpful. There are workers who might want better rights or conditions, on their own terms. The idea that sex workers are victims is the exactly how some of the worst abuses of sex worker rights?usually as perpetrated by that state?are justified and for that reason, talking about safety and danger is really loaded. Approach it thoughtfully. I?m guilty of this too. When a sex work organizer told me about the brothels where mainly Thai and Chinese women work for much discounted rates, I immediately responded negatively. ?oh, that sucks for them!?. ?No, actually they do fine because at those rates, more clients come in?. And in that instant I could see how my racism and whore-phobia intertwined. Here they were?the Imaginary Victimized Sex Workers! And of course, they?re not white or western! Do I think the Chinese woman who offers cheaper pedicures in my neighborhood is victimized? No. I think that patriarchal racism plays a role in her skills being less valued than the expensive white-owned salons but I don?t erase her agency in choosing the best work for herself. I?m a privileged worker. This does not make me the only worker who fully consents to my work and is not victimized by my clients. In capitalist economies we all work within the limits on our consent. High Risk Lifestyles of the Married and Cohabitating What is demonstrably more dangerous than sex work is intimate partnership. Domestic violence is the number one cause of death and permanent disability to Australian women. So when your sister tells you that she?s moving in with her boyfriend, do you tell her to ?be safe?? Would you refuse to have your friend?s wedding at your home given how you know domestic partnership to be a proven ?high-risk lifestyle?? Would you let me work out of your guest room? Would you drive me to a call? Would you be my security back up without assuming I?m about to go see an axe-murderer? Would you be comfortable if my clients knew where you lived? If not, why not? If I could do any of this with a new lover but not a client, why do you think that only money makes these men dangerous? I?d like to hear your explanation. I don?t love my clients but they?re fine. (Actually, the question of love is a complicated one but for now, we?ll keep it simple). They?re just like every other dude, except that they consider my time and sexual skill worth hundreds of dollars?making them in fact better than your average guy. Non sex workers sometimes insist that their brother/friend/teacher/boss would never be a client. They?re dreaming. That?s precisely who my clients are. So if you don?t fear them then you?ll understand why I don?t either.

So one of my biggest pet peeves is questions about my safety, in this line of work. A friend of mine sent me a link to a post about this particular subject, and I'm going to repost it, because I could have written it myself. Here's the original link: http://bornwhore.wordpress.com/2009/04/06/its-you-im-afraid-of/ ?Aren?t you afraid of running into your clients?? I hear some variation on ?clients are scary dangerous creeps, you are always at risk of victimization? from just about everyone. It?s a wholly inaccurate but nevertheless totally pervasive stereotype. Stereotypes about my safety and the (completely misperceived) risks of my job are my #1 pet peeve about being a sex worker. In fact this drives me so crazy that I haven?t been able to publish anything about it until now. When I first tried, I came up with a furious 8 page manifesto. I?m gonna make that rant into a zine and in the meantime, here is the more mellow version of it?now only three pages and minus the analysis of the discursive construction of risk. (sounds exciting though eh?) Meet My Client He is a walk in the park. I?m a woman providing a hands-on service so yes, they?re sometimes annoying or demanding but mostly I have fun with guys who are sweet and amusingly different than anyone else in my life. What?s so scary about giving a handjob to a 22 year old virgin while talking about the economic theories of Milton Friedman? (That was Jonathan, client #2 last Friday night). Clients are usually intimidated or at least polite and friendly. Some are outright worshipful. It can be a relief to spend time with someone who just hands their power over to me. I have something they want and can refuse to provide it. Perhaps unlike their wives or girlfriends, I set limits, refuse requests, make demands or sweetly manipulate the bill$ right out of them. Afraid of clients? Please. These dudes have just put down somewhere between $150-1000 in the hopes of having a nice time. At least they know that they can kiss their girlfriends. Whereas with us hos, ya never know. Some will break your heart with their beauty and tenderness, some will tell you to go fuck yourself for thinking you could touch their breasts. More than anything, clients desperately want you to sincerely like and desire them. For that and a host of other reasons, they are a bit (or very) afraid of us. I monitor and manage my client?s behaviour and I have no fear of them whatsoever. When I worked in Canada, I was definitely more nervous about doing outcalls where I couldn?t control or predict the environment. Because I knew sex workers who?d been assaulted, I was aware of the risk of violence?but I also knew it was a small risk. When I work in Canada again, I?ll likely do incalls as I know the risks are smaller. Here in Australia, I just don?t give it a second thought. I feel safe. I know that at some point I might have a physically coercive experience but my chances are much lower than if I were in nursing or home care?or married. But no matter how many times I say ?actually, clients are nice?, there remains this fundamental misunderstanding of who is a danger to me and other sex workers. It?s everyone but my clients that I fear. There is nothing intrinsically exploitative about sex when it?s paid and nothing intrinsically dangerous about our clients. I can?t believe I once bought into these bullshit myths! Good thing I started whoring anyways and found out for myself. Meet The Rest Of The World I come out to folks all the time. It?s one of the advantages of being a migrant worker?no one from home to deal with so more freedom. I love how coming out instantly and massively transforms the person?s ideas about sex workers?but it?s a seriously emotionally confronting experience. I couldn?t even begin to describe the shock people go through on finding out. Everything screeches to a halt. They don?t believe me, their eyes bug out and their mouths fall open, they can?t speak. It?s full on. The stronger their stereotypes about sex workers, the more intense the shock and disbelief. The funniest part is when I have to convince people. (?No, I?m serious. I really am a hooker.?) Then the questions come?or worse, sudden silence. I?ve had people walk away. So as far as ?risk? goes, my non sex-working friends, lovers, activist communities, colleagues, doctors, journalists, and strangers I?ve just come out to are the real danger to me. It?s cops, government, whore-hatin? abolitionist feminists and policy makers. It?s academics who think it appropriate to speak on our behalf, racist immigration officials who conduct raids to ?rescue? (aka arrest) Asian women only, children?s ?protection? agencies who take the kids of sex workers, public health officials who patronize us even though we practice safer sex than non-sex workers, it?s the dangerous benevolence of aid agencies like the UN who claim that migrant sex workers are incapable of consenting to sex work (!!!) My friends, family and lovers?you are the most important people to me. It?s precisely because I feel so connected to you, because I value our relationships so much that this is where the real risk lies for me. If a client kind of annoys me, I forget about it minutes later. But what you think, say and do matters to me. A client has never refused to share a spoon with me because I might be contagious-dirty-ho or asked me if I find my work disgusting or degrading. Friends have. A radio interview once took me days to recover from. I?m still a bit irritated by comments that lovers made nearly two years ago and if my dad doesn?t email me back quickly enough I worry that he?s avoiding me because he disapproves (I came out to him last year). Most of the time I feel amazingly supported and understood by the folks around me. I am so grateful that my friends get it (or want to get it) and I can relax and forget about how weird and alien I am to everyone else. How many hookers get to come out to their dad?! And queer sex workers?yesssss! I can come home and talk about work. I can make jokes about brothel ?towel art? or scoring money for extras. It?s part the luck of being queer and part that I have crafted this community around me.

Well you boys know how to find me if you'd like some personal instruction :wink:

Someone sent me this in my first year of university, and it made me laugh so hard. And there is truth to it. So here you go gents! http://www.bluelight.ru/vb/showthread.php?t=233767 The Lesbian Approved Guide to Eating Pussy And tips from Erin: 1. It is super hot when you lick from vagina entrance to the top of my clit. 2. I enjoy a firm tonguing, but not directly on top of my clit. To the top or the side is much better. 3. When I get really into it, I start grinding myself on your face. Work with my rhythm. 4. Fingers while tonguing my clit is delicious. Fingers in my ass works well also :) But please, don't get distracted and stop working my clit, while I really enjoy penetration, I can't get off without clitoral stimulation.

yeah, she leaves that shit (pun intended!) to her personal life, with bf Tito Ortiz (who is a MMA fighter in the UFC, if you didn't know). My bf has a joke in his stand-up routine about how that's hypocritical, that she won't do anal at work, because, if you've seen any of Tito's fights, they could be described as being ass-raped for 15 minutes.

Haha, I've got one if you need to borrow it! For me, PSE just meant you were up for pretty much anything and that it included Greek and cum shots. So I guess that makes me PSE! Hahaha. Though, I can play sweet and romantic too :)

Apex, I'm not sure of the situation, but my impression from reading this thread thus far is that you have mentioned your dislike for payment methods or the location or the fact that she wore too much perfume to the particular SP, or more than one. In terms of payment methods and location, if you aren't happy, then don't see her again. No harm, no foul. In terms of her personally, if there is something bothering you, simply say so, but with tact. It sort of sounds like you saw the SP or were going to, but didn't for various reasons and then decided you should tell her. Which led to her reacting. That's the impression I get, of course, things are always variable online. In any case, please don't leave because of that, there are always other SP's, more fish in the sea as it were.

Oh Paige, I'm sorry that you're experiencing this. I know you're worried about the effect it might have on your child, but think of it this way: which would you prefer? the possibility that your child might learn what you do, or the possibility that harm could come to your child if you don't do anything? Please, please go to the police. If you ever need anything, a safe place to stay, anything, please let me know.

Even with my older phone, I never learned to text with my thumb. It just drove me crazy. It even took me ages to text using textspeak, which made me cringe every time I did it. Qwerty keyboards are where it's at.

That'd be so rad. I really wish there was something like that here. I think that sex workers face a lot of isolation and if they had a legitimate "workplace" where they could work and hang out and socialize with each other, that'd lessen that isolation.

I never get likened to anyone. Le sigh.

Yeah, I can get in on this one! You forgot muff diving!

It was an event being put on through the Women's Studies department at the University of Ottawa. They just assume everyone is bilingual.

Damn you. You stole that from some internet site somewhere. I was all excited to throw out "muffin buffin'" and flicking the clit.

Thank you ma'am! :)

Anything centrally located would be perfect. Off Elgin, or in the Market. As the guys have said though, the Market is busy as hell almost all the time. Westboro is nice, the Glebe isn't bad. There are some nice places in the Centretown area, west of Bank St (Maclaren, Gilmour or James St's). This is so exciting!

I certainly wasn't trying to trivialize the damages of child prostitution or exploitation, in any way. I was simply trying to point out that the laws surrounding child pornography are somewhat ambiguous and leave room for a dicussion of what exactly qualifies as "obscene." In the case of Matthew McGowan, while he was charged with making kiddie porn, the charge was premised upon the fact that homosexual sex is "degrading," not because the kids were fourteen.

So I went today and it was all in in French, so I didn't stay for the whole thing, but since it was put on by le CLAP, they were handing out brochures with their vision on them, which I also could only understand parts of, but which I was thoroughly disgusted by. I kept the flyer, if I get access to a scanner, I'll load it up, or if I get bored enough, I'll just type it out. I had a chance to talk to two members of the CLAP and their views are actually ignorant. They use prostitution as a scapegoat for a number of things, the two main ones being the trafficking of women and children and their sale into sexual slavery, and kiddie porn. Things they said to me: "don't you think that sex is simply the domination of a man over a woman?" (this actually came from a guy, so my response was, well you have sex don't you? He didn't answer. That's what I thought.) "don't you realize the impact you have on little girls?" (excuse me? what impact? I work in total isolation. It's not as though I'm wandering around talking to little kids about the virtues of renting your body. If you're so worried about the hypersexualization of young children, you should be more worried about the media, not us whores trying to make a living on the downlow so we don't get arrested. ) "We don't have a problem with prostitutes, they're the victim, if men didn't buy sex, then little children wouldn't get sold into sex slavery." (I'm not joking, this is the actual connection made. Clients are the problem now. And I'm just a dumbass victim.) That's just a few of the gems these folk are trying to proliferate. They push for the continued criminalization of prostitution, despite the fact that neither of these bright souls even knew that exchanging sex for compensation, financial or otherwise, was not illegal. I can't say what the actual academics had to say, because I was so angry I had to leave. They kept telling me how welcome I was, but it was obvious they didn't want me there, particularly when they tried to tell me I had no facts to back up what I was saying. I started quoting both the criminal code and the Canadian Charter of Rights. That shut them up quick. When I first arrived, wearing my Sex work is work! t-shirt, no one would sit anywhere near me. No one acknowledged me, and the one guy who did come over to talk to me wanted to know how I found out about the meeting (his tone implied that he was wondering why I was there at all) and I told him I was forwarded the event info from Chris Bruckert, who is a prof at Ottawa U and a POWER member. All I can say is don't step to me with your bullshit unless you've got evidence to back it up.

While I certainly have nothing against the eradication of human trafficking, I would like a clearer explanation as to what constitutes child pornography. Going by the definition of the law, I don't like what I see. The Canadian Child Porn law, passed in June 1996, is an extension of the US child porn bills: 1. The Child Sexual Abuse and Pornography Act (1986) and 2. The Child Protection and Obscenity Enforcement Act (1988 ). It was under the former US laws that such artists such as Jock Sturges, Robert Mapplethorpe, and Alice Sims were charged and people became afraid to take nude photos of children, adolescents, and late teens. The Child Porn Bill in Canada (163.1 of the Criminal Code) considers adolescents and young adults as "children", makes it illegal to possess, produce, sell, or distribute sexually explicit images of a person who is, or is depicted as being under the age of eighteen in films, magazines, videos and computer generated images. It also makes illegal written materials that "advocate" having sex with a person under the age of eighteen. Matthew McGowan was arrested for making a sexually explicit safe sex video with two of his friends. One of the boys in the video was fourteen. All three boys were above the age of consent for sex, which is fourteen. They made the video of their own free will and they had safe sex. The charge was no doubt premised on a ruling that casual gay encounters are "degrading and without human dimension." (Judge Hayes ruling under the Butler framework). Just, on the whole, IMHO, we are too quick to use the word "abuse" when referring to childhood sexual experiences. And if you can consent to sex at fourteen, why, when money is involved, does it now become illegal to sleep with anyone aged 14-17 (who the Child Porn Bill classifies as children)?

I think what bothers me most is that they do this under the guise of feminism. If you care so much about equality and the rights of women, you should be helping to decriminalize it, not pushing for the expansion of criminalization. I don't care if they patronize me, I don't care if they talk down to me, I know they will, I've heard it before. I will still stand my ground, and speak out for those of us who aren't exploited, for those of us who chose this profession willingly, for those of us who love this job and for everyone who has been hurt by the laws that are supposed to protect us. In terms of Andrea Dworkin, I actually quoted her recently in my lecture at Ottawa U. In her book, Intercourse, she actually calls for the abolition of intercourse, and women who claim to enjoy that act are labeled "collaborator, more base in their collaboration than other collaborators have ever been: experiencing pleasure in their own inferiority; calling intercourse freedom.' The fact that these people will tell me that I have been brainwashed by the patriarchy makes me sick. I haven't been brainwashed by anyone. I am an adult, able to make her own choices. I choose to rent my body. Just as I would choose to get an abortion, if I became pregnant. Which brings to mind another handy quote: If you can't trust a woman with a choice, how can you trust her with a baby?

Many of my pet peeves regarding questions have already been discussed. Don't ask me my real name. Don't ask me to bareback. Yes, my breasts are real. Yes, I wax all my pubes. Yes, I really need glasses. Yes, I'm really 26. In terms of guys messaging me, if your PM sounds like you are cold-calling every SP on CERB, chances are I'm not going to reply. I prefer to see clients who genuinely want to see me, not ones just looking for the best deal.

Many of my pet peeves regarding questions have already been discussed. Don't ask me my real name. Don't ask me to bareback. Yes, my breasts are real. Yes, I wax all my pubes. Yes, I really need glasses. Yes, I'm really 26. In terms of guys messaging me, if your PM sounds like you are cold-calling every SP on CERB, chances are I'm not going to reply. I prefer to see clients who genuinely want to see me, not ones just looking for the best deal.