Kyra.Graves

Understood, everyone has their own preferences and should operate within their own comfort level. I only mentioned that setting the environment to your preferences can and sometimes will lead to a less enjoyable experience as some ladies are not equally comfortable in all situations just as an incall would make you uncomfortable. It goes both ways and applies to everyone, both the ladies and gentlemen should be aware of this. It doesn't take a lot of communication to ask someone "Do you have any preferences as to accomodations, wine, food, etc." and pretty much every lady I know will appreciate being asked. This isn't always possible for agency represented companions but I do know that any agency that has represented me had a list of places I would or would not visit as well as basics on food, drink, etc. :) I think a best of both worlds situation would have the person hosting (lady or client) go to certain efforts to ensure the person visiting them is comfortable and at home, often we all take some precautions and efforts without even thinking about it (ie. opening the wine in front of someone). I know when I entertain a guest I ask and review the basics and ensure they know what to expect before coming over (ie. hotel, condo entry, etc.) so they feel confident in their choice and if they don't then we can adjust as needed. Alexiss I too am not comfortable hosting in my personal space, partially because I know my home may make several guests uncomfortable (pets, security for entry, etc.) but also because I find hotels to be "neutral" territory and I am currently only hosting in hotels. Most people know what to expect when visiting a hotel so for me in my current situation offering hotel incalls is an easy option - it certainly doesn't work for all ladies and situations.

I'm with Meg on this, the only issues I've had have been at a persons private residence. Many violent offenders prefer to work "in the home" as they have control of the environment and can reduce the risks of being caught. It's recommended that in case of an assault/abduction you never allow a predator to take you to a second location as they have likely secured the environment as best as they can, a large part of the reason sex workers are at risk is because they often willingly walk into a private and secluded area. You may also want to consider that setting the environment to your liking may not be to your companions liking, in doing so it's possible you will end up on the lower side of the YMMV. There have been many examples of this on the board, one lady mentioned she gets headaches from scented or paraffin candles - we all know the "not now I have a headache" reason - in this situation it's likely the date will continue but she's not likely to be happy/comfortable. I myself always encourage ladies to keep lighting low if visiting someone you do not know or trust, I once had a situation where a client attempted to videotape me without my knowledge and if the lighting had been low this would not have happened. I personally believe it's not about setting the environment that one person likes best but about making sure both parties are comfortable and secure. If you are the host take the time to find out what your partner prefers and be flexible in your environment, you will always have a much better date if you take the time to create an environment your guest feels comfortable in.

Well, o'course e was nailed there! If e wasn't nailed down, it would have nuzzled up to those bars, bent 'em apart with its beak, and VOOM! Feeweeweewee! Additional Comments: http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-7292519225422263631# :D

Are you sure e's not just resting? He could be tired and shagged out following a prolonged squawk.

It's just spam, they are trying to sell you knock off shoes from what I can tell, for obvious reasons I didn't click the links.

I'm always practicing my walk, I only just obtained the funds to develop it so it's a work in progress but I am proud to say that it's pretty silly. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9ZlBUglE6Hc I've been a MP fan for quite some time, heck I even hid a reference or two in my bio. ;) http://www.cerb.ca/vbulletin/showthread.php?p=177206#post177206

You are correct it is done to confuse you, most ladies are Dvorak fans and are doing what they can to make your life difficult. ;) In all seriousness sometimes it is simply because the name is already in use. If I were "Bambi" and working at Mirage Escorts but wanted to switch to Tristan's Angels for whatever reason I might discover that Tristan's already has a Bambi on their roster so the agency would ask me to change my working name as the lady already with them would get to keep her name. If I had been working at Mirage for years and had established the name they may just add a last name as it's sometimes difficult to rebrand a well known lady (like renaming Madonna) but typically the agency just makes an announcement that the lady has made a switch and is working under her new name "Thumper". :shock: The same can hold true for ladies going independent, joining forums, etc. sometimes the name is already in use and you have to be a little creative when finding a name to register under. It's easier when you have a unique name but one doesn't always anticipate these issues when you first start this journey, it's not a career with University training - well at least not for those aspects of it. :razz:

I agree with Charlotte that in general business casual is a fairly safe option for most dates and most women are very understanding that this can change depending on where you are coming from or going to in a night. If you are unsure what is appropriate for the occasion you can always ask, I know most people will probably respond with "whatever you are comfortable in" but if you phrase the question differently you can elicit a few more details in regards to attire. If you ask a leading question, something like "I've never visited your condo (hotel, area of town, that restaurant, etc.) before, discretion is rather important to me and was wondering if you could tell me would jeans be better than a suit or perhaps khaki's?" it's likely the lady will not only tell you what is appropriate for the area but also what she is most comfortable with. Now if you are comfortable with your masculinity you can steal a page from one of my dates books - he went with the tried but true "What are you wearing" method that all women recognize but means something totally different depending on who it comes from. Our conversation went something like this: I was getting ready for our date and got a message that said "What are you wearing?" I responded "A towel." He replied, "No, not now, I mean what are you wearing tonight? I don't know what to wear." "Little black dress, heels." "Damn, I was hoping to wear mine!" "Okay you wear your dress and I'll wear my dress pants, jacket, no tie." "Sounds like a plan!" About 10min later I get a text that says "I'm dressed now but hoping you are still in that towel." "No sorry, put my pants and jacket on" "Shit! Now I know why I'm the girl in this relationship, I totally blew an opportunity for a naked pic and hot sexting!" "Yep you did, now don't forget to pack your tampons." I believe after that we exchanged a few more jabs then met up for a great night out, nothing like a little witty repartee to turn me on. ;)

http://www.gardenofedenescorts.com/ Nicole King runs the agency and having worked with them before I will say she is a wonderful person to deal with. http://www.cerb.ca/vbulletin/member.php?u=2122

I agree, each individual will have very different experiences here and for the ladies to answer based on our experiences you'll find the % will vary greatly based on her business model. A lady that advertises sexual services, ie. lists a menu with price descriptions and a breakdown or price increase based on various services is going to attract a clientele that is interested in sexual services. A lady that focuses the majority of her advertising on 15-30min dates, or specific sexual services $100 BBBJ or $80 for CBJ will attract a large (if not all) client base that is looking for sexual services. There are also a number of ladies that advertise engagements, mid or long term (daily, weekly, monthy, annual) and don't charge by the hour. These ladies are not focused on sexual services but rather on companionship and the date, they are more like girlfriends and mistresses but they often have a set commitment and for many having set terms of an arrangement has benefits that they do not find in a usual dating arrangement. For these ladies sex may be a part of the arrangement but it is not a large portion of the time spent so they typically do not consider it to be a huge percentage of their engagement. I know a few ladies in this type of arrangement, they do not consider themselves mistresses or 'girlfriends' as they are professional companions, they have websites, have other men they see but these are their primary arrangements and they are mainly companionship based. The most common type of companion would be a blend of the two, ladies with sexual and companionship services. I would guess you will also find the most variance in how the ladies divide their time in this area as well, some ladies prefer short one hour dates where the majority of their clients would seek them for sexual services with some conversation and companionship but there would be little "outside" activity, while other ladies focus more on longer dates (going out) where there is the added pleasure of enjoying each others company back at the hotel after dinner or whatever activity you choose. In the first scenario the sexual service is the primary focus of the date and enjoying the companionship and personality of your date is secondary (but will make a good date exceptional) but in the latter the date is the focus, companionship is important and having the right chemistry is primary just like on any other date one might go on, enjoying each other physically is secondary (but will make a good date extraordinary). If I answer for myself I've seen a huge change in the % of dates that focus on sexual services vs. companionship since going independent and handling my own advertising. In the past I would say that almost all my dates contacted me, or more accurately the agency on my behalf, seeking sexual services and a small percentage would I see for more than that, however as mentioned since going independent that has changed so I would say it is more like a 60/40 split. I have met a few people that are not comfortable with seeing an escort for sexual services but they do like the idea of seeing someone for dating, flirting, going out, more often than not I refer them to my "Charity Date" as an icebreaker so they can consider if they want a strictly social dating arrangement. I have also met men that are for whatever reason not able to perform in bed anymore (medications, stress, etc.) but that doesn't mean they don't enjoy companionship, we go out, we kiss, we flirt, we have fun, it's no pressure and we have a good time. I know their situation in advance and I'm okay with it. We have fun and sometimes it leads to different types of sexual encounters and sometimes it just ends up with us naked in the bed drinking wine and laughing as we watch Monty Python movies.

I find my 4-6 hour date to be my most common request, then depending on the time of year and my marketing I may do more introductory type of dates (2-3hr) or more overnights which tend to be more common with those I've met previously. Weekend getaways and travel arrangements tend to be planned well in advance and are more common with those I know, I have only gone on one or two travel dates with people I have not previously met and we did communicate extensively in advance to be sure we had a good feel for each other. I can't speak for other ladies but I find that having weekend packages, suggested outings, etc. listed on the site isn't so much about the date package itself but more about letting your potential clients know what type of dates you are interested in and the type of companion you are. If you focus on extended dates, travel and outside interests then your potential clients know you prefer dates that have an activity, some conversation and some interaction outside of the 1hr inside the hotel room, if on the other hand you are uncomfortable for whatever reason in a more social environment a lady would likely focus on shorter 30min-1hr dates (or something appropriate) and your potential clients can see you prefer a more intimate setting.

I was just telling a friend I might actually like this time of year if it wasn't for the Christmas music playing in all the stores. I am hosting a dinner party for some friends and I'm making a point of having all the music be seasonal but rather non-traditional, just something fun to shake it up a bit and maybe be a conversation starter. These songs may not be my 'favorites' but I really appreciate the variety that they offer. Who Says There Ain't No Santa Claus Zat you, Santa Claus? and one that is a little more 'traditional' and I think really reflects what I think the season is about. Someday at Christmas

Foot, hand or hair in the candle also tends to be common... not that I've ever done that :wink: but I'm putting it out there for the 'seasoned hobbiests' to consider.

Here I thought I was living it up, I guess I am going to have to start running with scissors if I don't want to spend the rest of my days watching Matlock reruns in my environmentally friendly reusable diapers or perhaps I'll take up a new game (see "frequently bought together").

When I saw this thread I too thought it was inspired by a very popular "Ask A Hooker" thread on another board, I've answered questions in that thread so I'm happy to participate in this one as well. That thread was started by the incredibly intelligent and well spoken Genevieve Lajoie who prefers the term Hooker in describing her occupation. In any event that wasn't the question asked so before I get sidetracked I'll move on to the questions at hand. 1. I can't answer for anyone but myself but my biggest occupational fear tend to be related to my variable costs. I have a certain number of expenses per date (eg. hotels, travel, etc.) that can vary a great deal and both anticipating those costs and managing them is not easy. This isn't an industry where you can just adjust your rate on a day to day basis, often I am scheduling weeks or months in advance and if a hotel is sold out or I have to make last minute changes to my travel plans it might be a very expensive error. 2. I recently became a fan of Speed Skating, I'm not sure why but there is something exciting about the long track races I like. I guess it's a mix of the athleticism, speed and competitiveness of the sport, plus I still sit in silent shock every time I see the crazy thighs on both the men and women. ;-) 3. I echo Charlottes sentiment here. 4. I'm not sure, I can't read their minds but I'm pretty sure they've had some dirty thoughts go through them based on the smiles on their faces. 5. Personally I find bigger can sometimes be a bit uncomfortable so no bigger is not always better. I know some men think bigger is better but I also know a lot of well endowed men that would tell you there are some serious drawbacks to it. Fortunately there are women that believe bigger is better and there are women that believe smaller is better, find the one that suits you and be happy with what you have.

I've used several different types of male masturbators with my companions (in fact my Ottawa recommendation has mention of one - apparently "she" was too tight ;) ) and they can be quite fun for various types of play. The fleshlight is great for ongoing use, it's reusable, comes in various styles, sizes and colours and is very durable. Many men have mentioned that it feels great and if you go into a store and touch and feel your way around the various styles I'm sure you'll understand why. There are many types of sleeves out there as well and these can really vary in style and price. In general it's safe to say that price is an indicator of durability. I've recently started buying a lot of the Tenga Eggs, they are lots of fun, great fit and so many styles and they are designed to be disposable (not the most eco-friendly toy) but each one has a unique feel and sensation which is something that is nice to offer your companion. I also find that at the lower price point you can have a little fun with them as I don't mind getting a bit more creative (ie. altering them) where as at a higher price point or in the fleshlight case I would not do so. http://www.comeasyouare.com/default/index.cfm/shop/sex-toys/male-sex-toys/masturbation-sleeves/ Of course you can always just send an ever popular item that has worked for men for years and I know I am still approached by guys all the time for it... Porn. A few choice pics with a dirty little note and a pack of boy butter would be well received (add a disposable egg and you've got the complete package - I've given that as a gift before and I heard no complaints). If you are looking for something to send to men in the armed forces I'd ask a few questions as to what might be most appropriate for the environment. Cost both initial and shipping, size and storage, cleaning (eg. fleshlights might not be able to be cleaned easily or discretely on a base camp which may lead to some hiliarious and long lasting nicknames for the guys), etc. Anyway that's just my 2cents, take it for what it's worth and know that whatever you send will work, after all it's better than a liver in a jar. :shock:

I both agree and disagree, asking on initial contact can often make someone very uncomfortable and can be very offensive but it is often how you ask as well. I have had people ask me in an opening email by saying "Are you clean?" "How do I know you don't have a disease?" to which I usually respond with a link for the mens health clinic so they can get themselves tested (though I do giggle when the odd person replies "wait you're a man?"). I've also had others approach the subject by saying "I'm very new to this, I've never seen a lady and have several concerns do you mind if I ask you a few questions?" They will then ask about booking procedures, incall vs. outcall, health information (both testing for themselves - where, is it needed, etc. and for myself) and basic etiquette. In that context I do not mind at all and in fact appreciate that they are taking the time not only to inform themselves but to ask the questions they need to feel comfortable. I also had one very wonderful date that have made it clear that the only concern he had was the STI risks but it was how he asked it that mattered, rather than accusing me he approached it much like he would asking anyone for relationship advice. It was something like this, 'I have often thought about seeing a lady but have always been nervous, I am in a committed relationship and I do not wish to lose that. I know that I can get away for a few hours and see a lady but I've always had this nagging fear that if I see someone (not you specifically) I am opening up our relationship to the risk of disease. I can't really ask my Dr. about this but what types of activities are 'safe' and what are not?" Again I was not offended at all and I doubt many ladies would be, he was not accusing me of having a disease rather expressing a real concern that he would have seeing anyone outside of his relationship. I was happy to answer his question and provide him with whatever information I could, which also included how to get safe anonymous testing. I have also had the conversation with people I have visited over a number of times, it often just comes up and I think just like in any relationship it's good to have a conversation about it. We are all taking some level of risk and just by starting that conversation you are opening up the lines of communication. I want my dates to feel comfortable talking to me about their sexual health, it's important that they have someone to go to should they have a concern and if it may involve me or they have a concern about me I'd prefer they came to me. I understand they do not always have someone at home they can speak to so I think keeping that line of communication open is as valuable to my client as it is to myself. Now as to the fact that you never really have proof, it's true you don't but it's important that you trust your instincts as well. When someone contacts me I look at both what they say and how they say it and go from there. If I get the feeling that someone is being open, honest and is interested in a conversation then I am generally comfortable with their answer as well. In this specific situation having gone through the testing procedure I would ask open questions and start a dialogue, again you can never be too sure but at least I would know if they were knowledgeable and that in itself would provide me with some level of comfort. I have always preferred to deal with those that know their risks and make informed decisions rather than those that move forward blindly.

ACT has information about anonymous testing sites and resources in Ontario as well as what one can expect when they go for an HIV test, it's a great resource and a simple search of their site brings up a lot of useful information. I've only visited a couple of these clinics but the ones I've gone to provided a full range of services (STI testing) and not just anonymous HIV testing. I am not sure if they all offer a full range of tests but you can always call the one closest to you and ask. http://www.actoronto.org/home.nsf/pages/act.docs.0566 Additional resources - http://www.actoronto.org/home.nsf/pages/referrallists The 411 Initiative for Change appears to have a fairly comprehensive list of testing sites across Canada. http://www.whatsthe411.ca/?pageID=148

I am not familiar with the area so I just did a quick search online for soy candles. I personally prefer them to beeswax as they burn at a much lower temp which not only helps keeps the temperature lower but also reduces the chance of burning yourself should you have an accident, add to that they cost much less to manufacture (which should mean they cost less, though we all know that isn't always the case) and of course soy doesn't disrupt beehives which may or may not be a consideration for you. There are many stores that offer both and I'm sure you'll be able to find which ever you prefer. In addition you can often find soy massage candles, there are a few in the first link, if you haven't tried them you should it's a great product you can add to your fun with your date. :) http://www.ottawavalleyfood.org/shop/producers/candl.php Online stores - http://www.canadacandleshop.com/ http://www.harvestlanecandleco.com/store/ http://www.greencandlesonline.com/

Another thing to consider for everyone that has recommended unscented for health reasons (headaches, toxins, etc.) I would also suggest you look into the quality of the candles, scents, ingredients, etc. itself. The issue isn't always as simple as the scent being used as what products the manufacturing company puts into the candle, for some the answer might be as simple as ensuring that the scents used come only from essential oils, for others you might want to ensure that you are not burning parrafin candles - soy is often a good alternative. Investing in quality products can make a huge difference and it's important to do your research and find the best quality products for your audience. If you are going to entertain a number of people in your home then you are likely to have just as many issues with unscented parrafin candles as you would lightly scented 100% soy candles. I've only met 2 people with an allergy to a specific essential oil but many that were allergic to synthetics, ensuring that you don't use synthetic fragrances (even in your perfume) is one way to ensure your guests are comfortable. It has been my experience that those with severe scent allergies will inform you in advance as they want an issue about as much as you want one. Oh and Sara...

I personally find using a lot of smaller candles around the room to cast a much nicer glow than one or two lights. I like to stick to one very, very light scent (approx. 1 scented candle per 200 -300 sq. feet) and have the rest of the candles unscented. I generally prefer fresh scents, ones that you won't walk in and assume is a scented candle but rather might think is just the lingering scent of the freshly washed linens or you get a very light citrus scent that you can't quite place, something very fresh and clean. As far as candle arrangements I think it's nice to have one larger arrangement if possible, something set up like this... Then I like to have a lot of tealights or votives around the room. This is obviously a table setting which isn't really what you'll need but I thought it might show how a bunch of smaller candles scattered about might dress up an armoir, end table, etc. Anyway those are just my preferences, I'm sure everyone else will have some great advice as well. Oh and a final tip, having a lot of candles lit will increase the temperature of the room. It may help if you lower the temperature a little before your guest arrives, you might be a touch cold at first but once you have 20-30 little flames going in one small room and start to generate a little heat yourself you'll be glad you don't have your thermostat set high.

Here are just a few of mine... http://www.cerb.ca/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=26799

I don't believe there is a right or wrong answer to this, each lady is an individual and will have her own preferences, you are best to contact the lady you are interested in and see what works best with her specific lifestyle. I personally prefer to have my dates planned well in advance and enjoy using that time to get to know someone, to exchange emails and to develop a sense of who they are as a person and to develop a certain level of trust. By time I meet someone we are fairly familiar with each other and it feels more like meeting a friend, a companion, a lover than it does knocking on the door of a stranger. I currently have dates that are set as far in advance as January and a tentative plans as far ahead as March (recurring dates) I'm comfortable making arrangements that far in advance as we both have an understanding that schedules change and life happens and that if something comes up we will have the courtesy to notify each other. If you arrange a date a few hours in advance you can still have traffic mishaps, get into accidents, get called back into work, etc. and have to reschedule. I find if you have arranged your date a month in advance you are not likely to run into those issues because you have anticipated the date for so long, this is an event and often you have arranged for a full day off, you have made arrangements and taken care of any 'incidentals' that might interfere... of course if you get stuck in an elevator you are still out of luck. If you arrange a week in advance you can still catch a flu, you can still have a family emergency, you can still have a work project that needs immediate attention, etc. There is no real sure fire way to avoid the needs of our outside lives and the same goes for the ladies. I have flown to other cities only to arrive a sneezing, sniffling mess. I was once in a car on my way to an overnight date and had a pet sitter call me to say my pet was seizing - I'm not sure if my date thought I was lying or not as we had never met before but I cancelled and headed straight home. Oh and lets not discuss a suspected food poisoning incident... :oops: I'd rather not go there (though I now have the lyrics "Getting to know you, getting to know all about you" in my head). Needless to say we were both happy to cancel after having had dinner out that night. :( My point is that life happens whether you plan or not, I've had people cancel a few minutes before or reschedule weeks/months before and I've had to do the same. I prefer making plans in advance as it works with my schedule but other ladies don't figure out what works with your schedule and lifestyle and see the ladies that suit your preferences. :)

I took this from the CanadaHelps site. CanadaHelps Mission: To engage Canadians in the charitable sector, providing accessible and affordable online technology to both donors and charities to promote ? and ultimately increase ? charitable giving in Canada. One of the unique options available on their site are the charitable gift cards. http://www.canadahelps.org/GiftCards/CharityGiftCard.aspx A person may purchase a gift card in any denomination which you may then apply to the charity of your choice, provided they are registered through CanadaHelps. As stated above they have a very large number of charities registered approx. 83,000 so finding one that you support is not usually difficult. On a personal note I have offered a charity date for several months now and though I don't usually accept the CanadaHelps gift card as payment as I prefer my date donate directly to the charity (I favour direct involvement) it has been an option for those that do not wish to have their name associated with some of the smaller grassroots organizations. My thoughts about charitable giving, it's important that when an individual starts to collect money or items for charity they have a second party involved in the process or they ensure there is some outside audit or accountability to make sure that the money/items make it to their final destination. I know that often we are not talking about a large sum (though sometimes we are) but to me it's about the perception, this industry has suffered a lot from the stereotypes and misconceptions of what the ladies in this industry are like (one common theory for the root of the word hooker traces back to thief) and many people believe that the ladies will resort to anything for a dollar. I encourage charitable giving and worked for many months to design a program where I could raise money for a number of charities without collecting the money myself, where I could ensure that the charities both received the money but I would not be handed the cash in order to ensure that my clients knew that every dollar went exactly where it was intended. The world is full of skeptics and we are at a time when all eyes are on this industry. If we act professional, treat this like a proper business and go above and beyond what is expected, act with integrity that is above reproach then perhaps the rest of society will not question who we are. If however we give them reason to be skeptical, collect money in the name of charity but have no record of where that went, which may be for good reason as I understand many of us do not wish to issue receipts in our names but if that is the case we should not be collecting money. Again these are just my thoughts and opinions and I do welcome input.

As this is in the General discussion area I thought this might be an important link to have. I know the majority of members are in Ottawa but Canada Helps is a wonderful way to make a donation to a charity across Canada. http://www.canadahelps.org/ Also this is might be of interest to some... http://www.moneysense.ca/2010/06/17/the-charity-100/