Kyra.Graves

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I'm sure you wanted to get this off your chest and I too don't know what's been said to you by whom but sometimes dealing with them directly is the best way otherwise everyone else is left scratching their heads and wondering what is going on. I'm not sure it's any of our business nor should it be.

While I understand the point you are making I don't think the image you selected is appropriate to illustrate that point. If a hotel in Canada required that I be escorted around the premises or had a mandate on what I wear I would actually be very happy as here in Canada I am awarded very basic human rights which allow me those freedoms and I would take that hotel to court for denying me my freedoms and what I do for a living has nothing to do with it. Clearly the image you chose is not from a country where women are awarded such freedom and unfortunately cannot chose to move about freely or wear what they wish, it has nothing to do with being an escort or what is in a hotel contract.

Hey Cat - A bit of an extension on this but I think it's important for the guys to know as well as each lady is different. I appreciate when they contact me but I don't respond to all inquiries for various reasons, sometimes it's simply because I thought the inquiry was offensive and I do state that "rude, graphic and vulgar emails" will not be receive a response. I've had some introductory emails that would make Sasha Grey blush and there is no need for that so I simply delete without response. Also as I state on my website that I prefer communication via email but some still insist on searching out my phone number (I don't advertise it) and calling, often I will only pick up the message a week or more later and if the call is out of date I don't want to be calling somebody and catching them off-gaurd. I do state on my voicemail that they should mention if it's okay to leave them a message and that I will only call back if they leave a specific time to call and I can call during that time but I'm not sure everyone pays attention to that as I can count on one hand the number of times I've heard those details in a message. Anyway just thought I'd mention that, I agree that a well written and polite inquiry deserves a response and sometimes those can be lost in the shuffle but I would encourage clients to review your inquiry and the ladies contact page to see if there is any information you might have missed (such as did you call a lady that says "email only") before resending. Cheers!

I just gave this thread 5 stars, if you'd like to post an exact copy of this thread I promise not to give it a good rating then we can see which gets the most views. It would be a very scientific study. ;)

None of us can tell you what the best gift possible is for someone else but perhaps you might want to consider what you would like your gift to mean and why you are giving it. I find that most gifts I receive can fit into 3 categories - Make our time better, Spoil me, and Make my life easier. Gifts that make our time better are often things like lingerie, adult toys, wine, food, or show/event tickets for the two of us. Gifts meant to spoil me are generally luxury items that I may or may not buy for myself; massages, spa days, designer clothes, shoes or handbags, wine club memberships, jewelry, tickets that are meant to be used on my own (or with a friend), etc. Gifts that make my life easier are often things that I plan on buying myself but for whatever reason are on the 'hold' list or payment of services I use or will allow me to free up my time; furniture, gift certificates for practical services eg. an airline or shoppers drug mart, a cleaning lady for a few days, tuition, etc. Each of these gifts are different and most ladies will appreciate whatever you provide, the difference is how it's used and what your goal is. In my own experience when I am given a gift that we can share during our date it adds a level of excitement or fun and both the item and the thought are generally appreciated but overall if you are trying to express gratitude for a more personal relationship it might not be the most appropriate. There are only so many toys one lady can have and depending on what the toy is it may be fluid bonded to you so she'll just be storing it until your next date or if it's lingerie that is specific to your taste or fetish then it too will just be stored until next time she meets you. Now in the 'spoil me' category there is a good deal of crossover and these items can be both practical or something that can be for your dates as well. Some expensive lingerie might be something she enjoys but doesn't generally buy for herself, if you are hoping to see her in it then it falls into the first category as well however if you knew that she had a photoshoot coming up and wanted something special for it (and you know her taste) then buying it for her is also very practical as she will save money and expense. The same thing can be said for manicures, pedicures, etc. as most women in this industry use them regularly and they can be a big expense but a lot of clients find her painted toes or well groomed hands a bonus as well. Overall I find gifts that spoil me to be fun and it's even better if they have a personal touch such as mentioning to me that you picked it because you remember my saying I enjoyed xyz. Gifts that make my life easier are often some of the best gifts but you really need to know somebody to know what is useful to her. If she is in school you might be able to pay for a class for her or some of her books, if she travels a lot then gift certificates for Porter might come in handy, or if she mentioned to you in conversation that she needed a new bookcase/lamp/bedding set... etc. then a gift certificate to a store where she can pick that out may not seem like the most romantic gift but in general it will be appreciated. The gift becomes personal and special just by the fact that you are trying to help her free up her own time or money so she has one less thing on her plate, it's perfectly acceptable to explain that as well and often appreciated; mention when she opens the gift or include a note that says something like "I was thinking about when you said you needed... and I thought this would help you with that goal." or say that you didn't want her to worry about whatever problem and therefore you picked your gift to make her life a little easier as she has done for you. Overall I'd say look at what you think she'll enjoy and what your goal is, it doesn't have to be expensive but it'll be personal to her and the thought and intentions behind it will go a long way to putting a smile on her face as well.

I just wish someone told me about the risks when I was younger.

I'm going to be the lone voice in this thread but I often consider booking Sugar Weasel, it might just become my New Years resolution to see him for a night of "buffoonery". :D http://www.sugarweasel.com/

I too often recommend other ladies that I know, it's not really about reciprocal referrals but often just because the unknown increases my risk. We all know there are ladies out there that are not so reputable, they may not go for regular testing or may be higher risk because of certain types of drug use or services they offer. If I am seeing someone regularly or we have plans to meet again I would rather they visit someone I know and trust as I hope to mitigate my risk as well. Often there are tell tale signs of unsafe work practices, exploitation or a high risk lifestyle that I might be aware of that my client may not see, as such I will refer him to a lady that I trust and would feel safe spending time with myself, if she isn't someone I would trust with my own information/health then I would feel better if my client wasn't seeing her as well. For me the reason I might mention to let the lady know I recommended you is just a way of letting her know I've seen you and she can contact me for information (reference). Even if I've not met someone I have done some preliminary screening before I will offer a referral so it's just a way to save the other lady some time as verification can be a time consuming process.

I have to agree with Soliel it's not up to the client to determine rates. I also don't think you have a right to travel fees because any additional fee should be discussed in advance. If you have a fee structure that is based on service ie. you charge $x for one service, an additional $ amount for add ons, then it's easy for him to misunderstand the rate and you should clarify in advance, if however your rate is structured based on time ie. $ /hh, $/hr, then you should expect the same amount for the same amount of time unless it is renegotiated between the two of you in advance of the date. Assuming your rates are based on time then I would contact him, let him know that you spent x amount of time there and he has a balance owing. If your rates are based on service then tally up the services and if it comes out to more than paid submit a detailed invoice for him. If he enjoys seeing you and wishes to repeat he'll pay what is owed and if he doesn't pay then add his name to (one or several of) the bad date list(s). In any other industry you could take legal action on an unpaid invoice, it's a bit difficult to do so in this one however you can definitely let everyone else know who he is and that he doesn't pay his bill so we can avoid him as well.

Feeling rested.

For me the advertisements are a way to get to know me, to see who I am beyond just a photo. I will say that since the changes to the advertisement section were made I don't post nearly as often or as many ads but that is generally because my ads follow a theme and relate to the one before them, as I can't post a in one thread it often results in my ads seeming somewhat random or disjointed. Though I didn't mind clients commenting on ads it too also resulted in my posting less, when I have 4-5 comments on a single ad by time you reach my next post the sequence no longer makes sense as the ad itself has become a discussion and not in the direction I was going. I don't mind the discussion in theory but I don't have time to write a different ad for each board every day and responding to comments/inquiries in an ad thread as it is very time consuming.

In his own words...

I had a variation of this recently and am looking forward to trying this recipe this weekend. http://vegandad.blogspot.com/2011/10/harvest-pies.html In the cooler months I also find I start craving heartier dishes and mushroom ragout is one of my favorites, on top of polenta is just that much better IMHO. I stop by the market to pick up some wild mushrooms and use almond milk instead of milk for the polenta, other than that my recipe is pretty much the same. http://foodandspice.blogspot.com/2007/11/polenta-with-mushroom-ragout.html Otherwise I also have a lot of soups in the fall; butternut squash, pumpkin, curried lentil, etc.

Congrats and don't stop now!

I'm a lot like Cat in that I need to find ways to alter my mood, just trying to push through it doesn't work for me as I tend to be very emotive and I don't hide those feelings easily. The main difference I find between this line of work and others is that no one really expects a 24/7 professional demeanour from me, yes they expect professionalism but unlike walking into a boardroom where I am expected to be rather detached from the client, here most of my clients appreciate that I am not so detached and aloof, when I am battered and bruised it's reality and an authentic moment that we share. I don't have a one size fits all solution but that's no different to the everyday challenges whether I have a date or not. Sometimes I will go to a pilates class before a date, it clears my mind and helps me feel a little more balanced (no pun intended). At other times I will relax with a glass of wine and some music. If I have a date and I've had a bad day I'll usually give myself a bit of extra time to get ready, I don't see all that many new people and those that I see regularly tend to know me quite well so I will generally tell them if I've had a challenging day/week. As an example I recently lost someone close to me and I had a date scheduled for just a few days after, I contacted my date and let them know what was going on and that I wasn't quite myself and instead of cancelling he suggested we still meet. As the hours approached I found myself still feeling uneasy, just a bit emotional so I messaged him and suggested we meet at a restaurant instead to which he agreed. We sat for a drink and a meal, talked about everything and nothing of importance and it really brought that sense of normalcy that I had been missing. I picked up the tab for dinner (much to his dismay) as it was my insistence we go out and when we went back to my hotel we had a wonderful time together, in my opinion it was one of our best evenings in years. I guess for me it's not about hiding who you are and how you feel but instead showing your humanity and vulnerability and allowing someone in even if it's only temporary. As far as long term coping with work and the issues that arise I think the biggest difference between this and the stresses one would face at any other workplace is that you don't always have a soundboard and that outlet is important. I think for ones long term health you need to find at least one person that you trust that you can open up to, bounce ideas off and talk to about your highs and lows and listen to theirs. It helps to know you aren't the only person out there facing these issues.

Honestly there aren't any real ghettos in Toronto but if you are looking for a non-ethnic community or if that is a concern for you Toronto might not be the city for you. Avoid the community housing areas (eg. St. James Place) if you are from a small town and not comfortable in a more urban development but in general most areas are integrated into the rest of the city (eg. Regent Park was built in the middle of Cabbagetown). Toronto in general is a very safe city, as an example YTD we've had 91 shootings with victims (83 gun related incidents with no victims) and of those 91 shootings 19 people died. In just two days this year Chicago had 19 shootings (1 homicide) with most of those being separate incidents (and that isn't anywhere near the city record for weekend violence). If you have a job you might want to look for something near to work, as a city Toronto has the longest average commute times in North America and you can spend well over 2hrs a day in commute if you don't move near your work and I'd recommend being on a subway line as well if you are looking for work downtown as you don't want to drive into the city each day as parking can be very expensive and difficult to find. Other than that you might want to consider what is important in the neighbourhood you want to live in and then tailor your search towards that. For example if you want an artsy area Queen West near Dufferin is quite nice and there are a lot of small boutiques, restaurants and cafes in the area. If you prefer to spend your weekends outdoors, in a park or prefer trails then moving to The Beach is good, you can easily take the trip out to the bluffs or spend days off at Cherry Beach. If you think you'll be working late at night look for places on a 24hr streetcar or bus line (Yonge St., Queen St., Bloor St., etc.) and if you don't mind a bit of a commute but are looking for something inexpensive Etobicoke has some nice apartments for rent that are significantly less than in the downtown, it still has subway access which will save you money and if you stay near Bloor St. then you'll be able to take the 24hr bus if you are at work (or out) past 2am. One thing to remember though is if the price seems low and you are thinking you're getting a deal... you probably are not. The rental market is pretty hot right now and as such rates are pretty high, if you are willing to compromise on size, getting a basement apt. or being in a transition neighbourhood (one that is considered 'up and coming') then you'll find something decent but I'd look closely at one bedrooms that are listed at under $1k (in Toronto - a few hundred less in a borough) as you want to be sure you aren't moving into something with a bad infestation, mold or other issues, as month to month is rare it's a real pain to get out of a lease even and being locked into a place you don't like isn't fun. Good luck!

Thank you, with the votes piling up for Peggy's Cove I might have to look into it instead. Tywinson - I hadn't heard of FiD before but it sounds like just the type of place I am looking for, I love in season local foods as I think it gives you a real flavour of a city. Thanks!

I think the issue here is that there are a number of ladies with different styles and interests and we do not all have the same business model. I am contacted at least once a day with someone asking for my "one hour rate" to which I constantly need to reiterate that I don't offer one hour dates as they are very different in nature than longer dates. When someone advertises 15min, 30min or 45min dates you can be sure that the lady is advertising a sexual service meaning the focus of the encounter is very specifically the sexual act. When ladies advertise longer dates and services as their main offering they are generally focused on the chemistry, the connection and more of a date feel. These are two very different types of services and very few ladies can effectively offer both as many ladies have said longer dates can be very emotionally exhausting and shorter dates can be very physically exhausting. In your post you highlight that you are looking for the longer date, the connection which in general will not be established in a date of less than one hour (and often 2hrs or more) so I'd guess you are not in the target market for the ladies that prefer to offer shorter dates. There are different markets for the various types of encounters and it's very important to seek out those that provide the type of experience you are seeking, otherwise you are likely to be disappointed with the outcome of your date. So I don't single out another lady I'll use myself as an example, please bear with me as I don't have much experience with the shorter date. I always advertise 2hrs or more, I do have discounted rates for multiple hours, my dinner date (half out half in) isn't even double my 2hr rate and often is longer than 4hrs as well and as such it's my most popular date. I offer that because I am trying to make it clear that I prefer a social engagement, I enjoy talking to my dates and getting to know them as individuals. I used to offer 1hr dates when I was with an agency and though I still met a number of wonderful people I always walked away from the date a bit uncomfortable, I felt awkward and I wasn't able to relax and enjoy my time with the person I was with, when it came to intimacy I never felt I could relax and enjoy myself as I didn't feel a particular level of trust with the person I was with. I'm not an extrovert, in fact I'm very introverted so for me the immediate intimacy of 1hr dates was difficult. Now I know a number of good friends in the industry that have a completely opposite take on this business, one lady explained to me what she enjoyed best is the 'dirty' feeling of meeting someone new and having sex with them while not knowing much about them. Another lady said she finds it difficult in longer encounters to find that connection as she's in a different point in her life than most of her clients but they both enjoy sex and she can find that commonplace in a half hour or hour. So there are different ladies, different views and different approaches, one is not better than the other they are just tailored for different people and hopefully we all connect with the type of date we are looking for. Finally in regards to costing often you are paying a premium for longer dates rather than shorter ones. For my base city my $1500 for a dinner date is fairly average but my 2hr date of $900 is a premium. This has nothing to do with the amount of time I spend changing sheets, showering, etc. but is mainly based on the incentive to those that also enjoy social dates, it's a way of connecting with my preferred audience. In fact longer dates can take much more planning and work as most extended dates are prebooked and multiple emails (or phone calls) will be exchanged before one arrives at final plans. When a client is paying $1500 vs. $250 for a date there are higher expectations on the lady even though the lady at $250/hr may make more in gross profit than the lady at the higher rate. I know it's often expected of me to have nails, hair and makeup done, in general it's expected that I have a much more extensive wardrobe to allow me to easily blend with whatever environment I am invited to and those clothes are expected to be of a certain quality as well as I am expected to appear to match the clients social status - it generally isn't discrete to go to a fine dining restaurant with a lady half your age in a $30 dress when you are wearing something bespoke. So all in all the costs are different, how the ladies invest in their business is different and how they spend their time as well. I also don't spend a lot of my day sitting at an incall waiting for the phone to ring but the cost of that time is certainly calculated in how a lady with a different business model much the same as I calculate the time spent emailing with restaurant suggestions, verification, or concierge type services. *whew* end of my novel but I hope (if anyone bothered to read it) I have provided a little more insight into why ladies structure their businesses, both time and cost, the way they do.

Thanks all! A certain gent on here had also mentioned Peggy's Cove and the Annapolis Valley, perhaps I'll make the entire trip a wine buying tour and see some of the wineries. All the restaurants look good but I don't eat seafood (or any meat) so I might have to pass on them, that's where downtown Halifax comes in handy for me, it has veg options. :) I appreciate the info and if you think of anything else of interest please feel free to post or PM.

Thanks I'll take that compliment but I didn't really do any research for the post if I had I would have quoted the Pub Med articles but I was far too lazy for that. I do still think the doc is worth a watch, it's two years old so for some it might seem a bit out of date as science moves pretty fast but it does show some pretty interesting research into why people drink. In regards to differing views, I honestly am not sure I understand what position you take in regards to alcohol consumption and perhaps you could explain further. From what I can gather you are against binge drinking, I get that and so am I. I don't know how you feel about alcohol on a whole, if you are advocating a dry state or making it a controlled substance, perhaps you could clarify. I also gather you want responsibility placed on the individual who sells alcohol (or state?) in order to prevent the (over) consumption of alcohol in individuals. If this is correct could you please tell me how you see that being implemented? I don't see how that is feasible given the way alcohol is processed and impairs individuals differently but I am interested in hearing your ideas in resolving the issue. I understand that the individual circumstances you have cited are upsetting for you and I also believe they are symptoms of a larger problem, I guess I would like to know what resolution you envision.

Personally I think we place too much blame on the industry and not enough on personal responsibility, short of providing breathalizers for each drink served I don't think there is a definitive way to tell what is too much in a person, let alone a young person. We all think of drinking too much as slurring, unsteadiness, drowsiness... but in youth these symptoms tend not to show in youth until they have drank a very large quantity of alcohol, often students think of it as hitting a wall - they are feeling okay and in control then one drink later they are throwing up and passing out. In adults the effects of inebriation show much earlier and gradually, hence the belief that "I can't hold alcohol like I used too" when in fact it's most likely a difference in brain chemistry. Of course if you add that to the fact that different drinks have different percentages of alcohol that will be absorbed in an individual at different rates and I don't think it's possible for a server to track that for each individual they serve in a day. So what's the solution? Honestly I don't know but I think we would need to not only educate kids before they are exposed to alcohol about how alcohol will affect them but also change the culture surrounding it, after all I think if you told teenagers that they can generally drink more than adults with less impairment they would do it rather than see that as a sign to keep away from it. When we are young we feel invincible but as adults we start to see our own mortality and make decisions based on it. I'm attaching this link both for reference and it might be of interest if someone has an hour to watch it - http://motionempire.com/Watch_BBC_Horizon_Do_I_Drink_Too_Much_-2009-_Documentary_Online_for_Free_96406.html As for the plastic cups, I just think that's a smart business decision. When my nieces and nephews come over I give them plastic cups, they aren't drinking but I know they are a lot less mindful of the glassware than my parents (who are drinking) will be. In general I broke a lot more dishes when I was a young adult than I do now and in different ways, the younger I was the more likely I would not be paying attention to where my cup was and knock it over but now I most frequently break glasses when doing the dishes (which sucks - I hate losing the shards in the water!)

Hi Ladies and Gents, I'm heading to Halifax in early Oct. and am trying to plan my visit. I always enjoy taking a few days to myself in which I can explore an area. I am attending the Port Of Wines festival but otherwise haven't figured out what else to do or where to go. I should note it's not my first time in Halifax and I've seen most of the 'touristy' stuff but do enjoy special events, new restaurants, or any art/theatre. Any recommendations? Also I've not travelled much beyond Halifax, if there was another city in the province you'd recommend please let me know. I am debating spending an extra day or two in the area to travel before heading off to the USA. Thanks, Kyra

No that's the last person I'd call, I don't want to alert them just in case I find out Dead Like Me was reality tv. ;)

I am not sure I understand the correlation between serving in a plastic cup and binge drinking, could you clarify? I agree that binge drinking is a problem and that University culture among the students tends to encourage it but if they are drinking (legally) then it's also the students responsibility to manage their drinking and related actions. Yes a bar should stop excessive serving of alcohol but if that student goes home to drink who else is to be responsible for that other than the student? There are already laws in place to keep children from drinking but I believe adults need to take responsibility for their own actions.