Kyra.Graves

Anytime you put your photograph online you should expect it will be out there for everyone and for all time. Yes it would be great if we could control our online content no matter what industry we are in but it's naive to think that we can. If you are not comfortable with having your image (or part of it) out there then do not put it up, the fact of the matter is anything that I can get on my screen I can save to my computer, sometimes it just takes a little more work than others. As for watermarking your images, there are pros and cons to it and it really doesn't protect your image though it can decrease the incidence of having the image used by someone else within the industry. If someone is determined they can remove the watermark, they can crop, airbrush, etc. it. With the idea of privacy if you watermark them with your working name/site you lose the ability to deny it's you should someone else have the photos, basically you will become searchable to someone that may not have known what to search. When you leave this industry you will not be able to remove all trace of your having worked, some review boards are very helpful and will delete your account and references to you but there are many boards that will not. Figure out what you are most concerned about, whether its your exit strategy or your current brand and watermark if one is more important to you than the other.

I dislike clothing requests and don't entertain them at all. I have always felt that a date should have a genuine feel and in order for it too we both need to be ourselves. If anyone approached me for a first date (personal) telling me what to wear they'd be shown the door and I don't approach this industry with anything different in mind. I'm not at all surprised when a number of men complain that a lady was 'mechanical' when they have a list of clothing and acts they want to live out in the course of an hour or two, the lady is likely trying hard to relax with someone she has never met in an outfit she has never worn while still trying to remember the 'menu' that was requested. Personally I think both parties have a better time when you allow her to relax and actually enjoy your company, sex is always better when two people (at least) are enjoying it.

In Toronto 20min commutes will often get you from one side of downtown to the other, even in off hours the traffic can be difficult but if you moved to the city you likely wouldn't drive to work and back. As others have mentioned many of the positions will already be filled but if you have a solid resume you should be able to find something. I understand the idea of wanting to keep your rent low but you might wish to consider what your income will be in a potential area as well, for example in Toronto a fine dining restaurant will provide a much larger income than in a smaller city and Toronto also has more opportunities so if one place doesn't work out you have options rather than having to move again. The downside in a city like that is the rent is much higher and the competition for the good jobs can be stiff. I know many people that clear $200+ a night in tips at top restaurants which can easily allow you to pay higher rent and still save money but if you lose your job for whatever reason you may find yourself in a tough spot. If you are looking for true fine dining in a smaller city I'd look towards Niagara Falls/Niagara on the Lake as the wineries have restaurants that can be busy year round. Also you could apply at someplace like Langdon Hall in Cambridge and as a backup there are a number of restaurants in Kitchener/Waterloo that would also be good options.

I think everyone has their text stolen from time to time, I can currently name 4 websites and ladies ads with various versions of my home page, philosophy or a few of my ads. Only once did I let it stress me and that was one of the first times someone took my ad posted it as their own and actually got credit for it - someone posted on the board an inquiry about her and people said she sounded interesting based on her ads. Anyway it took almost a month but she was found out to not be the lady she claimed and I was happy I didn't get involved in it at all. I figure this industry is hard, for some people it's likely impossible to navigate and some may not have had the work opportunities and training I've been fortunate to have so their skill set may not include marketing, web development, etc. I may not approve of their tactics but in all businesses and across all industries there are people without integrity and people without the experience to put together a business plan, the difference is in this industry when you are new you often don't know where to go for help or don't know you can even get help. I believe if you act with integrity and have a clear professional approach to the industry and display maturity with your actions it speaks more about you than any ad you can post. When someone uses my text I think it's not the text that makes the ad but my response to the situation, as they say actions speak louder than words.

On a cold winter day there is nothing that warms me up better than a nice vintage Barolo - okay a good Lafite Rothschild would (and has) but I don't have that many special occasions and I just can't justify those prices for an average night out. (It's not like it's shoes!) ;) For a nice table red I often select something from Spain or Portugal, IMHO the prices are fantastic for the quality of the wine. In the summer I will often relax with an Alsatian Riesling or an Austrian Grüner Veltliner but almost every year I find a new region with new and exciting whites so that will likely change by next year.

The CBC article http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/toronto/story/2011/08/11/gulliver-death.html

Most ad sites won't let you update the ad with nonsense as the domain could be blacklisted by some of the search engines. Many of the larger advertising sites have someone review or approve the ad or at least run it through a program to check it before it goes live - you may get the ad pulled for the update but the old information would still be in the archive.

I might be in the minority here but I disagree that when reclaiming a word it's still only appropriate in familiar circles, I think that goes against the idea of reclaiming a word because you are still giving the word it's negative power by restricting it's use and putting limits on it. I believe if you truly want to embrace a word and reclaim it you need to accept that others will use the word in a variety of contexts and ways and it's your responsibility to not give the word such power. If someone calls me a slut I can smile and agree with them; I can then examine the context and tone in which they used the term and respond appropriately, if I believe the term was used in a positive light I might expand on my "slutty ways" and extend the joke, story or however it was used, if however it was meant to degrade and insult then I will agree that I am a slut and explain why I think that's a good thing (strong and healthy sexuality, comfortable with my own body, informed and making informed decisions about my sexuality, etc. depending on their objection) and ask them why they find these things so offensive and would believe that would be an insulting term. I don't believe that those trying to reclaim a word are doing a movement any favours when they tell people they limit the word use and definitions. I believe the most important part of fully reclaiming a word is accepting both the positive and negative definitions and uses and working to change the perceptions surrounding that word. The LGBT community has shown how effective this can be, they have taken many words including Queer and made it mainstream, you cannot insult someone with a word that they as a community use as a descriptor. They didn't tell people they couldn't or shouldn't use the word instead they made it mainstream so that those who would normally be 'on the fence' those that would avoid the word because it might offend someone had to use it at some point. Queer was on posters, documents, community group handouts and even in the names, it was on tv (Queer as Folk) and found it's way into music and eventually popular culture - it didn't take long for the ladies around the office water cooler to start using the word queer and once they started using it then you could no longer insult someone by calling them a queer - the word had no power. I'm not offended if someone calls me a slut, whore or any number of names but I am offended if someone is trying to degrade or insult me no matter what words they use.

I've had a few lesbian clients, for awhile there I was actually getting several inquiries all from a very specific demographic which made me curious if there was something out there about me on a forum or board or if my ad just had an appeal to a specific market. I did ask the ladies I saw but just like male clients everyone was rather vague about how they found me online so I never really got a straight answer (haha! no pun intended). The ladies I saw were on average a little older than me, self-identified as lesbian and I found that in general they had spent a lot of their lives in heterosexual relationships - as such they were exploring a relatively new aspect of their lives and exploring their sexuality later in life was a bit daunting to them. Most seemed concerned that in their 40's (or older) any potential partners they might have would have some significant sexual experience with women and they would essentially be virgins again, as such they wanted a safe environment to explore and pay for play seemed to offer that. Another lady wasn't in a relationship at all, she'd had some experience with both men and women but again identified as gay and also as very shy so she wanted a partner to help push her past that. I don't know if I did that but like many women a part of sex and sexuality is just learning that you can and are beautiful and accepting yourself for who you are which she hadn't really done yet, I would like to think that I at least started her on that process and helped in some way - she really was sexy and a lot of fun. She was far too young for me though! ;) Oddly after about 6 months of having a number of lesbian women contact me I haven't had any in almost a year, I've had plenty of bi-sexual or bi-curious women and couples but that's it. I think these types of things happen in clusters, I haven't had a virgin email me in quite some time either but I had 5 "virgin inquiries" in one month a few months back. :confused0024:

Thanks again to everyone. My visit to Ottawa was great, I managed to visit the National Gallery which is always important to me on a trip and also to take in a concert at Bluesfest which I had really wanted to see. Of course I also met a couple of wonderful men and women which made my visit even better. So thanks to everyone that I was able to spend some time with - they know who they are and of course to the lady I didn't manage to connect with we'll be sure to do so next time. :) Now I'm not going anywhere right now so perhaps I'll make another 500 posts one day... maybe not but as an indy my post count gets much higher quicker as I have to post my own ads so it's likely we'll be doing this again sooner so lets not get too excited and celebrate too much. ;)

It sounds like she was a good friend and that is one of the most important traits we can have, my sincere condolences.

From a womans perspective I can say that I agree with WIT in that you should just let everything flow naturally, if you try to follow a script or worry too much about what you read on the board about how things should go then you'll end up missing out on a good time, just enjoy the company you are with and enjoy her for who she is. There is no correct order on taking turns, just go with the flow.

Tell me something I didn't know, I believed I called him that (or called it out in his general direction) the first time I met him, and every subsequent time since. :icon_wink: Though if that were the qualification for getting God status on here there would be a few gents and even a lady or two that might have that title. :icon_redface:

Thanks, I'll have that with a nice cup of tea this morning. Malika - Coagulation is important - I'd take it over congrats anyday! Mutau - digest me anytime. ;)

You'd think that I could have come up with something better than an ad for my 500th post, after all I've had almost 3 years to plan it. ;) Thanks for the kind words everyone, I don't post all that often but I do try to participate where I can - it's always nice to know it's appreciated. Now since it's my thread please hijack it with something fun! :D

I only entertain in hotels so it makes it much easier, they always have central air and heat as well as room service, restaurant and often a pool, sauna or hot tub in case my date and I feel like venturing out of the room for a bit. Of course the added bonus is that I don't have to clean up after which is the real reason I like it, I'm not really very domestic. :)

I just saw this but if you have under 2hrs I'm not sure I'd leave the airport, you'll need at least 30min to go through security assuming it's a domestic flight, the ferry runs every 15min (so that's a ferry 2 ways) and then because you are at Bathurst and Queens Quay you'll still need to account for some travel time to the location and even if it's nearby going across the lakeshore area during the daytime it's always best to allow 15-20min 'just in case'. This is the type of situation where an extra hour would make a huge difference and if you had 3hrs layover then there are a number of both independent ladies and agencies that offer incalls in the downtown core - anything in the financial district would be fine. Try Mirage, GOE, TP (I'm not sure of their location but you could call) Sassy's, or any number of independents that advertise as "downtown" as that generally means within a reasonable distance of the area you are at. Oh and I realize this is a bit late but I figure I'll post it for the next time someone is at Billy Bishop airport and is looking for a date. :)

I too don't see the need to change it but if you feel the need to it's your call, in that case I would second this suggestion...

Here... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6MfisiGqtEM This is one of my favs. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tQ5uHbGiZE4 I also saw a Scooby Doo episode once that had this great chase scene in it, it ended with them catching the bad guy and pulling off his mask to reveal it was Old Man Withers - what a classic cartoon moment. ;)

A very interesting Doc on the topic... http://topdocumentaryfilms.com/perfect-vagina/

I am one of the ladies that doesn't post a schedule but that is because I am not available for same day appts and I am flexible when scheduling, as I will know a few days in advance I can plan my day around a date. In addition I don't post a phone number, I request email contact so I don't really mind what time someone contacts me I'll check it when I can. I travel frequently and know that a lot of the people I am meeting are travelling as well so often we are not in the same time zone, they can email at any time of day and if it's necessary we connect via phone we can schedule a call at a mutually convenient time. In regards to what time I generally start my day, I'm often up around 6am but that's my personal day my 'real work' start time as well as time dedicated to this work varies depending on the tasks I need to complete that day. Some days I can take my time, sit read a paper and enjoy a cup of tea and other days I might have a task list a mile long before my eyes have even opened.

Freudian slip or do you have some really cool garter attachment that you like to wear and if so what other sizes does it come in? ;)

Do you know what type of food she likes? I don't eat out at the airport area often as I find the food selection limited so my knowledge of the area is a bit limited as well, but there are a few places that go from decent to excellent depending on how far you want to travel and what your budget is. (as well as how adventurous your palate is) ;) Also are you looking for something comparable to the Keg in price but with a different atmosphere or are you flexible on budget but looking for something that is still a steak and potatoes kind of meal? These are both in Etobicoke so it's a bit of a taxi ride but rarely are you walking in the airport area and they are both well reviewed popular restaurants. Sushi Kaji - http://www.sushikaji.com/ Via Allegro - http://www.viaallegroristorante.com/ I'd also check the Toronto Life Dining Guide, it can be very useful. :) http://www.torontolife.com/restaurants/

It should be noted there are also clients that will contact you because you don't put your face out there, they may not be as numerous as those that like to see your face in advance but if you are the type of lady that enjoys dates in a public setting these clients will value discretion and a number of them will seek you out because you are not so readily recognizable to the general public. I have had many clients contact me because I cannot be so easily spotted when out in public, I have gone on travel dates, to conferences, fundraisers, dinners, etc. with clients and many appreciate the fact that even if we see someone they know they can introduce me as "abc" from "xyz" so that person doesn't know I was a hired companion.

Many ladies see couples but Charlotte is an obvious choice... http://escortforcouple.com/ ;) Malika posted just before me. :)