simon_templar

There is currently a separate ongoing thread discussing the merits of whether hobbiests should have their own secular "reputation points" system. I'm suspect that this is an issue easily resolved. However, I would be interested in a somewhat similiar discussion. Simply put,....from the SP's perspective..."What was your favourite experience?"...,"What makes/breaks the atmosphere for you during a session?"..." If the hobbiest looks like George Costanza but sings like Julio Iglassias....is that enough?" I think you know where I'm going with this....perhaps some of you talented, charming and lovely SP's could look upon this as an opportunity to ....."give us hobbiests a little direction and incentive".....either way..I think that it could be fun. I don't believe that any names need to be mentioned...but if the experience was shared....I'm sure the hobbiest would know who the SP was speaking of. 8-)8-)

Red Baron, I really feel for you and like IGOTABONER, I went through a similar situation approx 10 years ago.If it helps you in your decision-making process I went the other direction and chose not to stick with my spouse and family! This was NOT an easy decision; it had been a second marriage for me and I really wanted to make it work! Unfortunately, after the birth of my son (a couple of years into our 'joyful bliss") all physical and emotional contact with my spouse had gone the way "of the VHS tape". Where in many ways, I still felt her to be my emotional and mental counterpart, in terms of physical and intimate contact there was a cold void. She became extremely argumentative, distant and when she was moody, "there was no need for air conditioning"! I had certainly made my fair share of mistakes and am the first to admit that I was not the easiest person to live with. I suggested counselling several times and she was unwilling to attend, protesting that she did not believe in the process. To further complicate the issue, my son has a significant learning disability and I worried (and probably continue to do so) what irreparable harm a maritial dissolution would cause him. His handicap not only affects his mental capacity but also poses a significant strain on his emotional condition. There was every reason to stay and make it work! What finally swayed me was my realization that my unhappiness, however much I tried to manage it, was starting to and would continue to affect my son's "well-being". I am happy to say that he "weathered the storm well" and although I only see him on weekends our relationship is stronger!! Where my story strays from the normative is that when I left my family, I was an emotionally shattered person and proceeded to have a very "sef-destructive" relationship with a dancer. My loneliness and "need" for intimacy led to a very manipulative situation. Eventually, I became emotionally, morally and financially bankrupt! My life is better now as I finally found some support and it is here that I wanted to pass on "some sober second-hand advice". What I have come to realize is that although I could control my physical presence in the marriage, I could not manage the emotional resentment that a life of loneliness built up. One of the common terms my medical collegues have used is a..."Good Boy, Bad Boy" dichotomy. That, you can only function for a set period of time with actions predetermined under a "Good Boy" analogy before you end up rebelling and exhibiting behaviour best labelled as reflective of a "Bad Boy" nature. Basically, what I would offer is that you seek conselling on your own! Counsellors won't make your decision for you, but they will ensure that when you finally decide to take one path or the other, that it is a decision made with a 'healthy" mindset. While keeping your marriage together is a noble venture be careful you don't become "Don Quixote" and pursue a fruitless quest. The moral imperative directs that you stay with your family to make everyone happy; but keep in mind the you alone cannot make others happy. The only person that you can make happy is yourself. I wish you well!!!!!!!!

Just wanted to acknowledge Cowboy's comments. I fear that the story I related earlier may have taken away from the essence of the original post!My intent in sharing my experience was in essence....just that; taking the opportunity to "bond" with my fellow posters about some of my memories of various clubs. Although my story referred to a somewhat unpleasant experience, I have had several (truth be told.....more than several)positive ones. As well, I wanted to agree with a couple of the comments made about the sense of "romantacism" that exists in the "cabarets". Although, I suspect that men in general are a little recalcitrant in admitting same... that most of us have an ego and spending some time with the company of an attractive woman who is interested in you provides us with a siginificant "boost". I know from first hand experience that some of the ladies have chosen this path in order to make a better life for themselves and their families. And for that, they have earned my respect, admiration and applause. Although I have met some "unscrupulous" types working in these clubs, I have always found that most of the ladies are often more sincere than some of the "tin men" I have had trying to sell me aluminum siding, life insurance policies and NORTEL shares. My last relationship was with a dancer and although it was "tough going" at various intervals...I always respected her for trying to make a life for herself and her child. I appreciate that these comments and "a loonie will probably buy you a bagel"...but I do have to reiterate Mr. Kenney's comments about spending some time if you can afford it! Many of the ladies are worth it!!!

Sorry....I appreciate that this is slightly off the original post...but some of the descriptions reminded me of an experience I had a few years back at the 'Mate. I was sitting enjoying the entertainment when a young lady approached and asked if she could join me. After receiving my consent, she proceeded to indicate that this was her first night there and that she normally works at the Silver Dollar. Anyway, she continued to attempt to engage me in conversation by suggesting that if I wanted to continue that it would cost me $20. I smiled and told her that I wasn't intersted in going to one of the champagne rooms. "NO"...she corrected me,...the money wasn't for a dance,,,,rather if I wanted to continue talking to her that it would cost me $20.00. After picking my bottom lip off the floor, I asked if her if this was a normal practice (...knowing full well that it wasn't...guess I was just speculative as to whether I looked like I had just fallen off a certain vegetable truck!!!) She then proceeded to indicate that no...it wasn't a usual practice...but in fact, that she was a "great conversationalist" and could very easily hold her own in any conversation. Seeing an out...I proceeded to put a bill on the table and asked her what her opinions were of quantum physics....... She (thankfully) left shortly after and never talked to me for the rest of the evening. ......One of the few occasions I had left a club $20.00 richer with my integrity intact!!!!