Fumble Fingerz

1992 I believe with a British SP "Billie" on James Steet downtown Ottawa. Pleasant, open-minded lady. Safe and basic full service with some DFK.

My views exactly on this whole issue...make your own decisions as to credibility as you read through the posts. You have a brain, so use it.

Amelia: I just wanted to add that this is very much about mutual chemistry too as I love playing with someone to whom I'm very passionate about and someone I want to please. Again, limits can be tested, but they should respected on both parts. I did have a session some years ago with someone who was totally drop dead gorgeous, but very mean spirited and cruel...too much so for my liking. Safe, sane and consentual was the standard for one of my favourites...and she was, of course, most beautiful indeed and totally unattainable. Hope you achieve your goals.

Ottawa is a pretty small city. On a number of occasions, over the years, I have run across friends, co-workers and past co-workers in the company of an SP who is known to me. All of these people have family and there have been time when I have caught their eye. I know who they were with, but do they know that I know who they were with? I value discretion immensely even though I'm in a less than loving relationship with my wife and am primarily self-employed as an independent contractor in my field and as a part-time musician. Some of my clients would raise an eyebrow. Some would care less. Others would have a melt-down. So even if I were single, there would be some fallout or ramifications of some sort workwise perhaps, but nothing I couldn't handle really. I prefer to be discrete and live and let live.

Operating in stealth mode (discretion) with a tad of creative accounting (no paper trail) and time management on my part will usually suffice.

You're on your way to burnin' in hell Emma...time for a fetish party I guess. LOL

Daytime weekdays is best for me as I can make myself absent easily. Not so during evenings and weekends, however for obvious reasons.

I just did Brandi...you got more points now but coming from me that may work against you. LOL I don't believe me and don't expect you to either.

Brandi: I started with one this morning and now I have three...totally bogus! I wouldn't believe anything that comes from either my mouth or fingers. LOL

I'm not into astrology but enjoy the research! LOL

If it's anonymous, it lacks credibility IMOP. I'm bright enough to make my own decisions based upon life experience and my ability to read posts/threads. It makes no difference to me if someone has one icon or one thousand. I don't know you nor have I met you; your posts are articulate, intelligent and well-informed. You have received recommendations from some well regarded members of CERB. That's good enough for me. Don't worry about it.

I'm not predisposed towards discussing either politics or religion on forums/boards. I will say, however, I was glad to see him come to Ottawa. He has a very difficult task at hand as do all world leaders given the current economic situation, wars, environmental issues, poverty and health-care. Obama's only one person; hopefully, he will be given a fair chance and that he will work in cooperation with US trading partners and other countries.

I really wouldn't want to hear, "Hey, you're my father! Remember me?" Might spoil the mood somewhat. LOL Seriously, it wouldn't bother me in the slightest.

Exactly Seymour! With me, respect is always given freely (to everyone).

Exactly Seymour! With me, respect is always given freely (to everyone).

I couldn't think of a better way to mess up what may have been a terrific experience with a lady by offering her less than what she sets her donations at. This isn't the way it works guys! Many of us, on the other hand, tend to be even more generous than the stated rates/donations.

I couldn't think of a better way to mess up what may have been a terrific experience with a lady by offering her less than what she sets her donations at. This isn't the way it works guys! Many of us, on the other hand, tend to be even more generous than the stated rates/donations.

If I weren't "distance challenged" Amelia, I'd happily explore your dark side with you but...(stuck here).

Amelia: I'm in Ottawa and this topic is of interest to me as well. A few years ago I spent some time with Maitresse Cathie La Devine in Hull, Quebec...a whole different world of eroticism! She's no longer around, sadly. Montreal used to have a vibrant S&M culture at one time. It may still have but I rarely get there anymore other than for business. Check this site out in the meantime if you haven't already. http://www.extremerestraints.com/home.html It can be a fun and lucritive profession, but can also be somewhat dangerous if you are not cautious in your clientel etc. I don't need to tell you that there's a lot of wackos out there. There's a line that has to be drawn with regard to safety and sanity. There are, however, extremes that lead to cruelty through high levels of pain and oxygen deprivation...not for me and I don't recommend it at all. I enjoy the roll playing aspect of the Mistress/slave relationship including light paddling, bondage, shoe/boot/foot worship, subservience, fetishism, forced feminization, etc. but all within limits. No blood-letting, etc. That said, I'd be happy to do your laundry for you any time! ff

Igotaboner: I hope you are able to come to a fair and reasonable settlement in this. Best of luck to you in this process. No doubt I will be following in your footsteps or somewhat so in the future.

It will happen Dummpy, but I've decided to let it take place on my own terms and own time...I have my reasons. In the meantime, the occasional rendez-vous with a lovely lady will, at least, reinforce the fact that I still have a pulse and testicles!

She can have quite a caustic tongue. My enquiries with a lawyer some time ago revealed that she can't nor is entitled to take everything. My needs have never been of any concern to her in recent years. I don't mean to sound bitter or angry about this as I'm merely telling it as it is from my perspective. She has hers as well. I have no doubt that the marriage will end which I find sad as we've been through a lot together. Thanks for your input...appreciate it.

I don't have the stats on hand unfortunately, however it's my understanding that sexless marriages are not all that uncommon so my situation and that of your friend are not rare. It happens. I don't blame my wife at all in this either as she is generally a good person, however she has refused to seek out any form of medical or psychological assistance and she has no intention of helping herself or our relationship. That, she has made abundently clear, at least, to me anyways. Unfortunately, I find I question my self-worth because of it.

I'm pretty new here Michelle so please bear with me on this. I'm glad to hear that your friend was not overly put out by all this and that he was indeed in good hands eventually deception notwithstanding. I'm also glad to see that he does not hold you in anyway accountable. He is indeed a true friend and that is apparent. Suffice to say no further recommendations to this MA establishment will be forthcoming from you and it is their reputation that is tarnished from this behavior as it was a deception on their part. What goes around, comes around as they say. You are good people and your friend still thinks so. Enough said I guess.

This is such an interesting topic. Clearly, we all come at this issue from different perspectives and I can only give mine. My wife has suffered from a number of gynocological related issues over the years which coupled with some hormonal changes due to menopause pretty much put the end to my matrimonial sex life as I knew it. Additionally, my wife is the type of person to tell me, "If you don't like it, get out of the relationship but I get everything!" This has been her philosphy with this matter and many other things over the years. She did tell me some time ago that she didn't care what I did and with whom so long as I don't bring home any buggies. The past five years have consisted of me walking around on eggshells due to her being premenopausal and now finally after a year of her going through it (mood swings. sleeplessness and chronic hot flashes) she is now finished with it. She's sleeping well and her mood is more stable...still no desire to have anything to do with me in the bedroom, however. I used to ask what I had done in the past or what I could do to better the situation, but was always told the old, "It's not you it's me." It's been more than 10 years probably closer to 13 years now since there was any form of intimate contact between us. I have been caring and supportive of her nonethless and have never demeaned her or criticised her about it. The adage, "sex is the glue that binds a relationship" is accurate in my case as I now have little attachment to her emotionally. Throughout our relationship, she has used sex or lack thereof as a weapon and as a means of control along with the threat that I get nothing should the marriage end. That said, do I feel that my seeing an SP as cheating? In my case, definitely not. Some people would say otherwise I'm sure, perhaps even my wife. Can one die from a lack of sex? In a word, no. But a relationship sure can. My seeing an SP occasionally is self-centred and is justified (in my own mind). Would I tell my wife about it? No, however I think if she found out she would be more understanding than what I give her credit for...just a feeling on my part. Forcing celibacy on someone who you are supposed to love is a catalyst to driving him or her into the arms of another (temporarily or permanantly).