SamanthaEvans

Frankly, while I believe that people should feel free to ask questions and say what's on their mind, I do feel a bit nervous whenever we venture into ways to deal with or protect against stereotypes. The one about companions being likely to rob clients or compromise their personal security if we know real names and other information is particularly difficult. Seeing a reputable, established companion increases the likelihood that everything will go smoothly. You won't need to worry that she'll rifle through your wallet or cell phone when you're in the bathroom or that she'll call your wife half an hour after your meeting ends. Honestly, if someone were to make a post on a couple of boards, saying that a lady had stolen something or had outed him to his partner or employer, she would be finished in this business! A good reputation and longevity in our profession require being trustworthy. One of the things you're paying for is complete confidentiality. Please also recognize that, while you may be concerned about having your identity and personal life compromised, most of us are concerned about our safety and security, too. I see clients in my home. I feel safest here, but it also means that my visitors have a great deal of information about me before we lay eyes on each other. I screen clients because of the real possibility that someone might hurt or rob me though I know that most have no interest in doing anything like that. In the end, it comes down to trust on both sides. I won't see you if, for any reason, I feel that I may not be safe enough with you. I don't want you to meet me if you're worried that I might do something to harm you, either.

If there's someone who interests you but doesn't seem to offer the things you're looking for, consider asking anyway. There are many reasons for not advertising some activities, including creating a perception that the we only engage in kinky play, that we're happy to do something frequently or several times a day or a week, or that those activities are always available without making arrangements ahead of time. You should always feel free to change your mind once things get underway, too. Don't feel that, because you'd expected to do something, you're required to do it! Needs and desires shift and change depending on comfort level, mood and other things. Changing your mind the first time doesn't mean you shouldn't try again another time. However, if your companion has agreed to do something, or that she'll try to do it, she should be willing to fulfill the agreement. If she's not able to accommodate your request for some reason--perhaps she was spanked yesterday and is worried that any more of that today will cause bruising, for example--she should let you know before the meeting begins.

Thank you, Meg, porthos and mrrnice2. It's good to be back. And I love your poem, mrrnice! You're great at that kind of parody!

I love this poem! :bigclap:

Congratulations, Penelope! This is wonderful news. I hope you and your little one have a joyful, happy Christmas.

Dear ones, First of all, thank you, everyone who has sent me little notes and messages in the last few weeks while I've been away. I appreciate your care and thoughtfulness. I''ve had a very rough autumn this year. An elderly friend took a very bad fall in September and was in ICU for 10 days, followed by a lot of high-level care. She's still in hospital, but moves to an extended care facility today. She suffered some major brain damage in the fall and it's hard to know how much function she will regain. Some days seem wonderful, others not at all. Anyway, I've spent a lot of time with her and her brother and sister-in-law, who are both 79 years old. They're like family for me and I've wanted to do what I could for them. After things settled down, another friend had to go to Ontario to attend to her ailing mother. She asked me to house-sit for her and look after her dogs while she was away. What had been intended to be a week turned into three weeks when it was clear her mother was nearing the end, and then passed away. I enjoyed the time away, but was without Internet access. I could go into town and use the computers at the library, and so I did that a few times. Otherwise, I tramped around the forest with the dogs or stayed in the house, writing. I've been working on a book and got three-quarters of the way through it, thanks to this steady, uninterrupted time away. Shortly after I came home, one of my closest friends told me she hadn't been feeling well. She'd had a lot of back pain, but that wasn't unusual for her. She found she was very uncomfortable after eating and thought that might be why she'd lost almost 20 pounds in about a month. I urged her to see her doctor. A few days later, the doctor sent her to the hospital for tests. They discovered that she had pancreatic cancer and said that she might have three to six months to live. But she died four days later. I've known her for 25 years. I've been reeling. I haven't been online very much. I'm grateful for some of my regular clients who have kept in touch and have come to see me, but otherwise I haven't been very active. I've got my feet back under me now, and I'm feeling much better. I'm back at work again. It's time to pick up my life. I hope that everyone has a peaceful and joyous holiday season this year. Things can happen so fast and change so quickly in our lives. I hope that you will be able to give thanks for friends and family and cherish the time you have with them.

The vacuum cleaner. It's not working properly, is probably not worth servicing again and needs to be replaced. Today. Because the cats shed fur 24/7, sometimes more. A petty little gripe, but even so . . . .

Happy birthday, Nicki! I hope your day was full of fun!

Very strange! As I write, it's 7:40 p.m. Pacific time, 10:40 in Ontario and the front page says that there are 498 members, 8905 guests and 640 spiders. That does seem like a very high load for the last Friday evening of the summer!

Since you asked . . . We've never met, but I like "Castle." It's got a distinctive quality to it, full of overtones and images that I find pleasing. "Mondo Sex Head" I will learn to like if it's your preferred handle, but frankly it does sound like the handles some new members choose for themselves when they may not intend to be around for long or to have a public presence. But it's up to you and you alone to decide.

Well, I'll tell you how I manage things. Every point of my process is in place because before I had it, something fell through, usually resulting in a no-show. The client and I exchange e-mail before booking the first meeting and generally have at least one brief phone conversation before we meet in person. I usually require a deposit for a first engagement. Many of my meetings are scheduled anywhere from a couple of weeks to a few months in advance, particularly when the client is from out of town. I send an e-mail about 5-7 days prior to the meeting to confirm. If the gentleman is coming in from out of town, I ask him to contact me when he arrives. I respond with a cheerful "welcome to Vancouver" reply and may suggest some activity or local event that he might appreciate knowing about. I ask to make telephone contact at his hotel the day before we meet. If he's arriving earlier in the day of our encounter, I will call him then. I will have made all of the phone calls up to this point. At the end of the day-before or day-of call, I give him my cell number in case he needs to contact me to change our meeting time or place, etc. Anytime we're meeting at my place first, whether he's in Vancouver or from out of town, the day before or the day of the meeting I send instructions for reaching an intersection near me along with my cell number to call when he's there. I give directions to my place when he calls from that location a few minutes before the meeting. I never give my actual, physical address at any time. My experience is that pleasant contact ahead of time is the best way to ensure that the meeting will take place as planned. I have never had someone speak to me on the phone and then not meet me without a very good reason. I never book last-minute or same-day meetings for anyone with whom I haven't met previously because, in my experience, the fellows who make impulsive decisions to see me are also much more likely to decide impulsively not to show up. In other words, it's a multi-stage process at times. Those who balk fail my screening requirements. And, finally, because I have read the advice some men post on other boards about proven ways to circumvent a given paid companion's screening, once I have described what I want, I never back down from or lower my expectations. If I can't contact a new client at his hotel--calling him there and being put through to his room--the meeting won't happen, period. I don't accept an out-of-town cell number for this confirmation. If he lives in Vancouver but won't provide a phone number where I can reach him, I won't meet with him.

A new one for me today: "I'm looking for a dog just like yours. Who is your breeder?" A dilemma! The breeder, of course, doesn't know who Samantha Evans is, but she does know my dog, to whom the dog belongs and where I live. If I'd seen this client three or four times, I might feel comfortable answering the question. But on a first meeting? No way. Maybe that's an over-reaction. Nothing else was at all off-putting about this gentleman. In fact, I enjoyed his company and I know the feeling is mutual. But just because the encounter ended doesn't mean everything is over. Unfortunate repercussions, such as excessive expressions of affection, post-liaison regret or anxiety, occasionally arise in the first few days after a meeting, particularly when the encounter has gone very well. When he contacts me again and the message is straightforward and non-dramatic, I will know that things are the way I want them to be. I've no reason to assume that the client was trying to get personal information from me. I'm just very cautious!

I love board games! Our house has been full of them for years. Some of my favourites: [--]Scrabble [--]Quarto! [--]Chess [--]Croquignole [--]Mancala [--]Clue [--]Risk [--]Monopoly And my favourite non-board game, great for the pub or while waiting to be served in a family restaurant: Pass the Pigs!

The real question is, where do men go when they're looking for a paid companion? Sadly, there's no one, clear answer. The advantage of BP is that men look there. I don't advertise a lot, but I have advertised on BP here in Vancouver and have met some very fine clients through the site. I'll probably advertise there again in the future. One client told me that he likes BP because it does more than host escort ads which he thought improved his denial options if he didn't erase his browser history. He didn't know about review boards other than the one that starts with P which he described as depressing and offensive. Unfortunately, Escorts-Canada, localescorts.ca and CERB are not very well known in Vancouver. A new escort ad site opened here about 18 months ago. It offers free as well as paid ads, a general forum and an SP-only area, too. I've advertised there and found that it was popular with picture-collectors and men who are quite a bit younger than most of my clientele. I've never been contacted by man from my preferred age demographic via that site so I can only assume that they don't go there or don't know about it. That could change. Figuring out where and how to connect with potential clients is not easy. It requires research, patience and maybe a clairvoyant. But if I knew that, by taking out a quarter-page ad in, say, National Geographic, I had a good chance of reaching the gentlemen I most want to see, I would do it. Unfortunately, Nat'l Geo doesn't accept ads from paid companions.

There's a completely false notion out there that the police have to tell the truth if asked point-blank whether they're police officers. It must come from television or something because it's absolutely not true.

I book everything through e-mail for discretion purposes. I can attend to e-mail at all hours of the day and night, including times when a phone call would not be discrete or appropriate. The only people who have my phone number are prospective or returning clients. I'm happy to receive voicemail and generally request that they suggest a couple of times when it might be convenient for me to return their call. If I can't call them when asked, I usually e-mail to explain. There is no perfect system, though. If someone tries to contact me on Friday and doesn't hear from me by Monday, I think it's perfectly acceptable for them to e-mail again, asking whether I got their message. I may have been out of town and forgot to set my auto-responder accordingly, for example.

I don't own a valet press or butler, but I would be delighted to receive one as a gift. In the meantime, a good suit hanger seems to take care of things.

MisterMike, it's up to you to decide what you are and are not willing to reveal about yourself. However, do keep in mind that established paid companions often meet with well-known men whose public and private lives could be severely damaged if their information were to be disclosed to anyone. Our fees include assurance of confidentiality. I see that you live in the States. Law enforcement does have a habit of setting men up for grief, there, because prostitution is illegal almost everywhere. In Canada, things are very different! You can learn about this in the Legal section. You may be able to find a lady who will waive many screening aspects or who doesn't have any. The value of her reference, for those who require references, may be limited, however.

Great thread, Gabriella. I've had a lot of these, lately, for some reason. I'm not sure why. My reasons for declining the opportunity to entertain someone are personal, they're about me, not necessarily about him. Something doesn't feel right to me. It could be my mood when I read the e-mail. It could be that the fellow reminds me of someone I don't want to remember. It could be that I find communicating with him more difficult or complicated than I'm able to manage at the time. I've had about ten inquiries in the last 4-6 weeks from men who have demanded assurance I'm disease-free. Many of them have replied with thinly veiled hostility to my responses. I'm irritated by this and so I won't give these inquiries a second glance for quite awhile. Lately, I've had more contact with long-time, regular clients than I've had all summer which, frankly, makes me feel somewhat less interested in new clients. Returning clients always have a higher priority for me. I am sure that I turn away men who would be wonderful clients, who would enjoy me and whom I would be pleased to have encountered. My own moods and nit-picking tendencies are aspects of my personality that I accept. I won't be cajoled, bullied, begged, manipulated or threatened into accepting a client I don't want to see. I wouldn't enjoy the engagement and if I don't enjoy it, he can be certain that he won't, either. There are many wonderful ladies in this industry. If one of us turns you down, accept that's just her, it's not about you, and move on.

I'm not sure what I think about sex addiction, what it is, whether it's a real condition or a name for something else, like Calvinist morality. However, I found a link to this article in something else I was reading this morning and thought it might be worth posting and discussing here. It's from an online journal about addiction, but could stand alone elsewhere. Does Kinky Sex Lead to Sex Addiction?

Count me in, Peachy! I don't know most of the books on the HuffPost list, but I'll try whatever people want to read. I haven't read The Hunger Games; I keep wondering whether I should, then forget it when I'm near a bookstore.

A "lawful excuse" is going to apply to being the gardener, mowing the lawn at the time of the raid, or the laundry service guy, dropping off a load of clean sheets. It's not going to apply to a client of the establishment. It's not lawful to go to a bawdy house and partake of the services offered there. While prostitution, in and of itself, is legal, working or being found in a bawdy house is not because the bawdy house itself is illegal. Technically, I operate a bawdy house because I see clients in my home more than occasionally. But, as others have pointed out, since I'm working alone, keep very respectable hours, create no noise, traffic problems or anything else, there's no reason for anyone to notice what I'm doing or to be concerned about it if they did notice. Indeed, when I reported my stalker to the police a year ago, the officer was abundantly clear with me that the VPD didn't care a feather about what I'm doing as long as it's not disturbing anyone. The micro-brothels get raided because they can't operate with the kind of discretion that an independent, solo companion does as a matter of course. A lawyer I know told me about a guy who retained him after being charged for being found in a micro-brothel that was actually an old West End mansion with half a dozen girls working there simultaneously. None of them spoke more than rudimentary, very broken English. They charged the men who were found in the place, but subsequently dropped all the charges. Laying charges, it seems, was a way to pressure everyone in the place at the time to divulge whatever information they had. Since the majority of the micro-brothels' clients tend to be Asian men who usually speak the same language as the working ladies, this kind of police tactic makes sense. My friend's client, however, is not Asian. In Vancouver, there's also at least one spa and a separate escort agency which are operated by the Hell's Angels. This is not a secret. The spa hasn't been raided anytime in the last few years that I know of. There are probably several reasons for this, first among them being that they don't openly employ trafficked women.

I'm certain that I've never done this to anyone, at any time, though I have occasionally been asked to do some unusual things to penises. I suggest that if your companion is touching you in a way that you don't enjoy or that doesn't do anything for you, tell her. Give her a suggestion or two about what you'd prefer her to be doing instead. We're always interested in that sort of feedback!

You are a real treasure, Emily. Congratulations on passing this milestone!