SamanthaEvans

OutForFun is correct. The Asian micro-brothels, in particular, are the places to avoid. They are targeted by law enforcement because of concerns about human trafficking and immigration violation. If you're new to this, you may want to be cautious about ads placed by Asian providers in the free or very cheap advertising sites. Ads for incall meetings that appear to have been posted by singles or duos priced at the low end of the spectrum are frequently postings by micro-brothels. This is a very broad generalization, though! Inexperienced independents often underprice themselves; some believe that they need to undercut the market in order to attract business. Just because someone's rates are lower than others does not mean she's a bad risk, at all. Everyone is entitled to set their fees as seems best for them. My point is that it may be difficult to know from the ads whether the woman featured is actually an independent or working in a microbrothel.

What a great handle! Welcome!

It may be that the size of your gif is too large. I know I had to fiddle around with mine to put the banner in my signature and make it link to my website.

I'm so sorry you're having to deal with this, Emily. I hope the wife backs off and leaves you alone, but if she doesn't, I agree with the others that you might consider finding a way to tell her she's harassing you and that you're prepared to report it to the police. That should stop her from further contact. She's only venting at you because whatever response he's giving her isn't enough to satisfy her. Projecting her pain and fury may seem okay to her because, after all, prostitutes aren't real people. I'm not defending her. She's out of line: you did nothing to deserve any hostility at all. While the man in question probably was thoughtless or careless and never meant for anything like this to happen, I have to say that there are people who use escorts when they want to get caught. They're unhappy at home or they're hoping to cover their tracks by deflecting attention away from their involvement with a different woman. I've even had men contact me to find out what I would charge to help them be "discovered" intentionally. I hope I don't need to say that I declined these opportunities. Unhappy people lose whatever good sense they were born with!

I don't discuss clients with other clients, period. I consider that to be a violation of confidentiality and of my own privacy. When someone asks me about interactions I've had with others, it's easy to turn that around and delve into it a little bit from the other person's perspective. Most of the time they have a fantasy about what I do or may do and that's what they're really trying to explore. I'm happy to do that, at length. But I never turn to a client for any kind of support about a personal problem. Boundaries are important. Having said that, as I reported last year, and roamingguy noted, above, I went to the police a year ago about someone who was stalking me. It was a very good experience and not only would I recommend others do the same thing, I would do it again if I needed to. Expect to be taken seriously not only because anyone who is being harassed deserves to be respected but also because, for obvious reasons, prostitutes rarely approach the police to ask for any kind of help. The officer I worked with automatically took me seriously because she figured that I deal with a wide variety of men on a regular basis and that sometimes they don't behave as well as one might hope. That I would raise a complaint is important. The police asked whether I preferred for them to go to his house or to call him into the police station. I thought that seeing him at home might be more effective, and so that's what they did. He lives in an RCMP jurisdiction. A Vancouver city police car in his driveway was noticeable. The police gave him a letter outlining what had happened, the information they had about him and my clear, repeated statements to him asking him to have no further contact with me. They required him to sign a statement undertaking not to contact me or anyone associated with me again for any reason. If he were to breach that agreement, he understood that he would immediately be arrested and the case would go to trial. At the same time, they put me on a special "watch" list so that if they received a 911 call from my address or phone number they would be alerted immediately that I had already made a complaint of criminal harassment. They would arrive prepared to deal with a situation that could conceivably have escalated significantly. I'm happy with the outcome.

I ask this in all seriousness: Why not just assume that everyone with whom you engage in intimate activity has a potentially life-threatening STI? Acting on that assumption, you can decide to refrain from intimate contact with anyone--which is a perfectly reasonable choice--or to take all necessary measures to protect yourself from infection. Because no one is going to tell you honestly--especially if you're a complete stranger--that they have an infectious disease. Heck, even great clients whom I've seen for years haven't told me that they're coming down with a cold! The only person who is responsible for your sexual health is . . . you. Not the companion, not the client, not the spouse, casual-friend-with-benefits or the fascinating-person-you-met-at-the-bar. Just you. All contact with other human beings carries risks. I have little doubt that the lady about whom this post was made is both scrupulous about her sexual health and just as concerned about how healthy any potential client may be. If she's been in this business for more than 72 hours, she will have discovered that most men know little to almost nothing about STIs, what's safe, what isn't and how to take care of both parties while having fun. Sadly, most of the time, all paid companions hear arguments about why we should take risks that prospective clients consider to be negligible for their benefit. Learn about STIs. Here's a link from the "New to This" section.

Because they have a majority, the Harper government can, and usually does, do what it wants to do. Theoretically, if they want to pass legislation making prostitution illegal they can do it. Whether there is anything to be gained by it is another matter. The Canadian public isn't very interested in prostitution when it's discrete. Canadians are concerned about human trafficking and that seems to be the only area where there's interest in tightening rules and regulations. Exotic dancers, for example, are no longer able to get temporary visas to work in Canada and those who are here are not getting extensions. Given the high profile and national interest in the recent Picton inquiry here in Vancouver, and the attention paid to the Ontario court rulings, I don't think it's in the government's interests to bring in harsher legislation. Such a thing won't put an end to prostitution--most of us who work independently are quite comfortable dealing with the legal considerations and would continue to work. (Indeed, to some extent, tighter laws make it easier to screen clients. Women working in the States often require and receive full identification disclosure from potential clients.) Conditions would become much more dangerous for women who work on the streets, increasing their risk of harm from clients and pimps. While there may be interest on the government's part in making prostitution 100% illegal, there's very little interest on the part of the police or the courts, and that may be the biggest hurdle for the legislators. We have laws that aren't prosecuted because the authorities don't consider the problems to be worth their time if they're not actually harming anyone. And, while the Harper government has decided to build a lot of prisons, despite our ever-dropping crime rate, I haven't heard of anyone suggesting that they should dramatically increase spending for police services.

I don't have one, but I've used them in the past. For me, they're too strong and they're noisier than I want a toy to be. Most women do enjoy them, however. My preference is for the Eroscillator. It's more expensive than the Magic Wand, and I think you need to order it from the company instead of buying it in a store. It's almost completely silent, though, and it doesn't need batteries. It's electric, with a very long cord. I've had mine for ten years and it's still as good as new! If you want to buy a toy for someone, be a bit cautious the first time. Don't spend too much money if you're not sure about the things she likes. There are many well-made toys and vibrators that aren't very expensive and if the woman likes them, you'll have a much better idea of the kind of thing to look for next time. When you make that second shopping trip, plan on buying a high-end item. There are some wonderful toys that are rechargeable and silent, run a long time on their batteries and have a suite of different speeds, pulses and so on. They're also very well-made and will last a long time without breaking, cracking or burning out the motor. When it comes to sex toys, you do get what you pay for! Shop in a sex toy shop, not an adult bookstore. You'll find the staff are knowledgeable and helpful. Always avoid anything that's made of cyberskin or soft gel. The are serious health considerations related to the phthalates in the gel.

Not all risks are equal, to be sure! As the mother of a teenage son, I worry about the uninformed risks teenagers take far too often. HIV transmission through oral sex is extremely rare to virtually unlikely, but gonorrhea is very easy to catch. I heard on the CBC's Sunday morning program last weekend that the risk of gonorrhea transmission is 1:2. That's one chance in every two encounters. This is higher than the risk of cold and flu viruses from casual contact. Everyone is very worried about HIV/AIDS, and for good reason. I'm just as concerned about other STIs that are often undetected and therefore untreated for a long time.

I always keep a bottle of champagne in the refrigerator, ready for any need. Maybe I'll add another bottle or two in December.... antlerman, stocking up on condoms is a good idea, too!

Heat and I are not friends, at all. I lived in Ontario for a long time and never got used to the heat and humidity in the summertime. I'm glad to be back in Vancouver where I belong, less than 10 minutes away from the ocean at any time. I would like it to be a touch warmer, though, or at least for the rain to give up and go away for a bit! It will, eventually. And we'll probably have three weeks without any rain in July/August and be complaining terribly because everything will be so dried-out and tired looking! Canadians talk about the weather more than anyone else in the world!

I do these, Summer. I offer a social rate for a purely non-erotic meeting--often over lunch or dinner. Most of the gentlemen who ask for these meetings want some company but don't want to rush into anything physical the first time they meet a lady. I may do a couple of these a month, sometimes more and sometimes none at all. I also offer extended meetings of three to five hours which usually involve dinner followed by private time. Most of the men who ask for these are from out of town. We meet at his hotel and eat dinner in the hotel restaurant or somewhere nearby. I've attended private dinner parties with some well-known men. If they go alone, they may have difficulty extricating themselves from other women's company and expectations at the end of the evening. Most of these engagements have been purely social ones and required me to be very familiar with the fellow's work. These clients have chosen me because of my age and because they suspected that I could easily know or become familiar with their work. I receive about 3-4 invitations a year for this kind of companionship. I enjoy these social dates a lot.

Why not find someone in your area who appeals to you? Meet with her a couple of times, enjoy yourself and then see if she might be willing to discuss things further with you. Of course, you should expect to pay her full fee at all times. It might not be wise to raise the "I want to be a male escort, will you teach me?" thing right away. It's not legal to counsel anyone to get into prostitution. If I received the request, I'd probably turn it down because it would be very difficult to be sure I wasn't being set up in some way. But with an established client, assuming I felt comfortable, things might be different.

If someone wants to work on his social skills, his flirting and comfort with women, by all means, engage a paid companion if that seems like a lower-risk way to proceed. In fact, I would not refuse such an opportunity out of hand. But don't imagine that it would be a real date. No one can date Samantha Evans. She doesn't know how to date and I'm not going to teach her. :icon_cool: If you'll forgive me for saying so myself, Samantha is an awesome companion. She is genuinely interested in you, whether you and she have anything in common or not. She has no need to think about where this relationship is going, whether you might think badly of her based on her career choices or even to be anxious that she might disappoint you in some unknown way. She's pretty sure that she is exactly the sort of woman you want to spend your time with and your money on, at least at the time. She's positive and up-beat. She can be challenging, but she won't top you unless she has an express agreement to do so, for which you may need to pay a premium. If you don't feel good about yourself, about her and about your time together, there's something terribly, terribly wrong. That would be extremely rare. Samantha loves doing what she does and I love being Samantha. If you were to date me, though, you'd get a whole 'nuther creature. I am all of who Samantha is, and more. If we were to date, I'm likely to ask you to do things for me, sometimes, like stop at the store on your way because I've run out of bell peppers or need some brandy. I might ask you to walk the dog for me while I finish dressing, because, unlike Samantha, I may not be 100% ready for you when you arrive: my real life sometimes interferes with my plans; Samantha doesn't have enough of a real life for that to happen. I may turn down sex. If it's our first date, that's guaranteed. Maybe the third, maybe not. If you were to date me, you'd get to know me, my problems, the things I worry about, the things I hope for, the outcomes I desire or fear. You'd get to know other people in my life, too, and what they really think about me. Like me, they'd be sizing you up to see if you'll fit in with my assorted friends and family. They'll tell me what they think and I'll listen, whether I agree with them or not. It's difficult enough as it is to get to meet Samantha, but her screening requirements are nowhere near as stringent as mine are for someone I would date. For example, I don't date married men. I don't tolerate subterfuge or dishonesty. I also won't keep it secret that I know you and that we're dating, even if you're famous, very wealthy or have no particular wealth at all. Samantha is measured, thoughtful and reflective. So am I, but I'm also very protective of myself. Samantha will not fall in love with you, but if we date, I might, and that's an enormous risk that I will not ever entertain lightly. It's true that Samantha does feel closer to some of her gentlemen friends than to others and that the boundary between her and me may become quite porous when we both feel particularly comfortable with someone. That's because I'm human, I have real feelings and neither Samantha nor I will see anyone who doesn't genuinely interest us. Even so, it takes longer to get to know me than her. Samantha and I are both real. I don't know how to be anything else and so she doesn't, either. But her reality is shallower, less complex than mine. Remember the old joke about which is more expensive, the sex you pay for or the sex you get for free? It's absolutely true. What you get for free always costs more, usually much, much more!

I just want to say, for the record, that while I don't provide bbbj, I don't look down on those who do. As far as I'm concerned, it's a difference in options, that's all. I do offer Greek, at my discretion. Not all companions do. I don't think that I'm better than anyone else because of these differences nor do I think that anyone else needs to change what she does because of what I think is best for me. There are more risks in offering bbbj than cbj, it's true. At the same time, those risks are not enormous and with good care and testing I fully believe that a companion can manage things beautifully. In fact, I know that many absolutely fabulous companions do. They have my utmost respect. I've been working in this industry for a long time. I've never had an STI in my life. Perhaps I was simply lucky when I was younger and not working. Since I began to work, it could be that a combination of assiduously-applied safer sex rules and good luck have helped. I don't know. I can't know. What I'm certain of is that, given the number of men I've seen over time, the odds are that someone may have had an infection, whether he knew it or not. I accept that risk and work hard to limit my exposure both to bugs and to the need for any kind of antibiotic--I'm allergic to many such drugs. That sounds good, in some ways, Peachy, but I don't think it will happen and, if it does, I don't think it will make a difference. Most of us won't accept regulatory intrusion. Pertaining as they do only to the moment when the tests were conducted, we know that test results are worth the piece of paper upon which they're printed. The apparent assurance that test results prove us to be healthy may actually increase the pressure to perform uncovered acts. Moreover, most of us will not willingly endorse the false notions that independent paid companions are a source of sexually transmissible infection--we're not--or that we are responsible for the health choices made by any adult other than ourselves.

In dicey situations, always take the highest road you can find. Always, no matter what. Character is everything, after all. One's personal integrity and authenticity are most clearly revealed in stressful or potentially dangerous situations. In the future, focus closely on your companion when you arrive. Be sure that she's sober and level. Consent is a very important consideration: you don't want to have to defend your actions if another person's consent may not have been unequivocally given. I'm a warm and affectionate person. I always greet new and returning visitors with a hug and a kiss. It's an easy way to break the ice, and I'll also notice alcohol on his breath, lack of focus in his eyes and other tell-tale signs he may be intoxicated or on something. I have turned men away in these circumstances. I've also switched the agenda for the meeting, made coffee and provided something nourishing to eat. That wasn't necessary and I wouldn't have done it if I'd felt that I was at risk of harm, but I can be a bit motherly at times. In each case, I accepted my full fee at the door and kept it.

My professional name becomes Guilty Sin, which is pretty good, though I do try to make engagements as guilt-free as possible. My real-life name becomes Rancid Fury, which really only applies on occasional early Monday mornings, but does sound wonderfully ominous as a band name!

The decision to show one's face in photos is something everyone agonizes over. No matter what a companion's decision, she has excellent reasons for making it. It would be very difficult to be successful in this industry if a lady isn't at least very pretty; her face matters more than her body in this respect. Men who contact us, insisting on full face photos, "more skin" or pictures of particular body parts are rarely serious potential clients. They tend to be photo collectors, at best. At worst, they're likely to be dangerous--inclined to attempt blackmail or to expose us in our communities. This fellow is already using blackmail tactics in his threat to write a bad review if he doesn't get what he wants. Please report him, Destiny.

We have two orange tabby cats--they're brothers. Having moved from a very big house with lots of stairs into a much smaller one hasn't been good for their waistlines, unfortunately. They're indoor cats and definitely need more exercise. They share a single bowl and feed at will during the day. Usually, this works well, but one of them seems to be bulimic. When he's annoyed with me, he tends to eat and then throw up immediately. I swear he does it on purpose! He's also the bossier of the two. He talks a lot and makes very clear demands about things, often along the lines of the water in the water bowl has been sitting there for more than 10 minutes and needs to be changed, NOW. Both cats become very vocal the moment there's an empty space in the bottom of the dish, like this: To make things more complicated, the dog thinks that cat food is yummy and will sneak around if there's a chance that she might get to clean out the bowl when no one is looking!

I was at a large social gathering this evening at which there were many social hugs exchanged and so I'm pretty sure I hugged from the right every time. In an intimate setting, I think I'm pretty right-inclined, but I may not be remembering this accurately. I do tend to tilt my head to the right when I kiss someone, but I can go either way, too! All that aside, I'm going to be very self-conscious over the next few days, just to see what happens!

Advertising, whether online or in print, is perfectly legal. There have been judicial rulings in the 1980s that said that advertising is private communication because readers are never forced to read ads. The only way to work legally is to go to the client's location for the call. That said, this is also one of the least safe ways to work, too. If you decide to do outcalls only, please, please, please make sure you have a driver and that the driver knows where you're going and what time you'll be ready to leave. Call the driver when you enter the house or hotel room and call again at an agreed-upon time. For example, if your meeting with the client will last an hour, make sure you call the driver when the hour is over, no matter what. If the driver doesn't hear from you, you should have a plan about what they are to do. If you don't have a driver now, contact other ladies where you are and get some recommendations. Don't hire someone who's just decided that this is a cool and sexy way to make a bit of money now that there's even less risk of prosecution than there was before recent the Ontario Court of Appeal decision. You want someone who is experienced and has been proven reliable. I never go to clients' homes except in very rare cases where I have known the client for quite some time. Even then, I once ran into a problem that I was able to manage easily enough but which would not have happened at my place. The difficulty with hotel rooms and clients' homes is that you have no idea who is on the other side of the door when it opens to admit you. If you go to a hotel, make sure you check out the room thoroughly, looking in the bathroom, including the shower, and the closets. If there's a door that adjoins another room, make sure that it's locked on your side so that no one can enter from the room next door. In a client's home, the problem is that you don't necessarily know where all the exits are. It's harder to know who is in the place and you have no control over whether someone else may arrive while you're there. I can appreciate your reluctance to work from your own apartment but, frankly, this is safer than going to someone else's location. It's not legal, but unless you see a high volume of clients, entertain late at night or cause unusual noise, you're not likely to have a problem. It's critically important that the companion be in control of the encounter at all times, every time she meets with anyone, wherever the meeting takes place. That's much easier when you're in your own place and much more difficult when you're in the client's home. Despite these warnings, it's true that many women work successfully doing outcalls. It might be a good idea to connect with some others and find out about their safety strategies. Over time we all think of things that never occurred to us when we started out. Always remember: nothing, absolutely nothing, ever, including any amount of money, is more important that your personal safety, so don't compromise!

Stay strong and focused! You can deal with this and come through it even better than before.

Happy birthday, Angela! I hope you have a wonderful day and that the year ahead will bring you much joy and peace.

Jade, thanks for sharing your experience with your friend. You've received a lot of support and advice here, which is what I generally expect from the good men and women on this board. But that has never stopped me from adding my own $0.02 to the mix! :icon_smile: Harsh, rigid, judgmental people are very difficult to handle and, as Carrie pointed out, not good for us in the long run. It's much better to surround yourself with people who really do love and care for you. In my experience, judgmentalism is deeply rooted in fear; as such it's a fundamental spiritual dilemma. The "judgers," as WiT calls them, are terrified of doing wrong things, or stepping outside of the social norms they perceive to be important. For many of them, the best way to make sure that they're acting and thinking correctly is to criticize others. I imagine that your friend is critical of many people for a wide range of things, from the trivial to the significantly disordered. The more intense her focus, the stronger her anxiety about being the subject of such scrutiny herself. Whatever she's particularly energetic about likely reflects a significant personal insecurity if her own. My hunch is that women who are particularly hostile about or towards sex workers are generally ill at ease with their own sexual feelings, desires or even their own bodies. Maybe they've had bad experiences with men that left them feeling devalued or hurt, or maybe they're afraid of men for other reasons. Maybe they're caught in that no-woman's-land between knowing or understanding very little about how their own bodies respond and the social myth that everyone is having a fabulous, passionate erotic life, particularly if they're under, say, 40 years old. If sex in general is a problem, the knowledge that there are women who actually make a good living by having lots of different kinds of sex with many different men may be especially threatening. Whatever is true for your friend, her reactions are about her, not about you or anyone else. Spending too much time with her negativity could be a big challenge for you and may not be a healthy choice. What matters most to me, though, is that you feel positive about working in our industry and that your experiences here are good for you. That's how it's been for me, too. The men I've met have generally been fine fellows: kind, thoughtful, caring and compassionate. They've treated me very well and I hope they feel that they've been well-treated in return. The other companions I know are mostly very smart, creative, capable women who could thrive in many different careers but have found personal fulfillment in this one and are willing to be helpful and supportive of other sex workers.

Great to have these updates, guys! I have to say, though, that the safest way to visit the Fat Bastard BBM is probably by webcam. Or fax....