SamanthaEvans

VERY glad to have you back, OD! We've been a bit short on essential revelry without you. I was concerned that you might have been a victim of the Zombie Apocalypse, so it's good to have your report that you've survived, so far! Btw, someone needs to prod the Fat Bastard BBM out of hibernation and back to work, or whatever approximation of work they might aim to achieve.....

I also do this with gentlemen I've seen a few times and who want to plan ahead. I would be reluctant to begin a retainer contract with someone I don't know, though. Once we've gotten to know each other and are sure of compatibility and trust, it's very easy for both of us. I also prefer the e-mail money transfer and setting dates by e-mail. If you want to enter into a retainer contract, be sure that you're both very clear about things like cancellations, refunds or credits for future dates and how you'll be in contact to re-confirm the meetings.

So, gents.... haven't heard from you in awhile! Spring is here. It's almost too late for more snow and mosquito season doesn't start for a few more weeks, right? I imagine that you're getting things ready for a busy summer. Do remember to air everything out really, really well, okay?

I wish we had high-speed transit options available for longer distances. Taking the train from Toronto to Ottawa or Montreal is popular and not overwhelmingly expensive. But taking the train from Vancouver to Toronto is a whole other matter! I would really love to take the train all the way to Halifax sometime. The fare isn't much more than it would cost to fly, but that's without a cabin or a sleeping berth and it takes almost five days. It quickly becomes a luxurious way to go, unfortunately. Here in Vancouver, we still have a huge amount of train traffic, bringing in wheat from the Prairies and picking up cars and heavy manufactured goods from Asia to ship across the country. It does seem that things that are small enough to be sent by courier go that way because it's cheaper and faster. I ordered a dress last week that came from India and reached me in two days thanks to FedEx.

I just like Lee Richards. He's got a great sense of humour and enough patience to put up with the rest of the Fat Bastard BBM group.

We're in the fantasy business. One common fantasy is that there's this amazing, beautiful, hot woman out there who's available, right this minute, for him! Not only that, but she'll be available all day, all evening. Seeing him is the thing that matters most to her, so much so that she'll drop everything else in her life whenever he's ready. Strictly speaking, this isn't unrealistic. Most people have had that kind of sizzling passion in their lives at some point, usually in the early days of a relationship, before the kids were born. I can't fault anyone for wanting to recreate some of the feelings and energy that were part of that wild, electric time. While many ladies schedule last-minute meetings and do very well, that's not my way of working. I need some time to connect, to build up a bit of delightful tension, perhaps make a few plans. Then I can clear my mind completely of everything else and just focus on my guest. Unless we've scheduled a specific time, as far as I'm concerned, we're not going to meet. I have a lovely client who visits Vancouver a few times a year. He pays for a full day--twelve hours. We may meet in the morning for an hour, meet somewhere for coffee in the mid-afternoon and later spend the evening together. One time, I made a picnic for us; we enjoyed a lovely hour and a half by Lost Lagoon in Stanley Park, then met again for dinner and some private time in his hotel that evening. The last time he was here, I picked him upt at the airport in the morning and took him to his hotel. He spent the day in meetings; I spent the day on Granville Island with my sketchbook. He called me a couple of times throughout the day. When he came back to his suite in the late afternoon, I was in the jacuzzi. We ordered room service for dinner. I am available all day, never more than 20 minutes away, and can meet for as little or as long as he's free. This fellow is a gem, but such arrangements are unusual. Ordinarily, I won't put my life on hold or drop other plans for anyone who isn't one of my children. I simply can't leave my schedule wide open just in case someone has a bit of time to see me. Set up a meeting time and I'll be there.

We all work differently. Our decisions about the information we give to new clients may depend on many things including where our incall location is--in an apartment tower, a townhouse complex, a house or a hotel--as well as parking and other considerations. When meeting with a new guest for the first time, my biggest initial risk is when I tell him where I am. He needs to be able to find me. I need to be sure that he's actually going to arrive without any unpleasant surprises accompanying him. Usually, there's no problem making the connection. But unfortunately, while rare, there are men out there who collect SPs' addresses. For some, addresses are trophies, of a kind. There are others who seem to think that having the address means that they're entitled to visit whenever they choose to do so. Most troubling of all are those who publish the addresses online, circulate them a little more privately, sell them to other men or use them to trump up a complaint to the police or landlord. These shenanigans wouldn't even occur to most men, and that's a big relief. Nonetheless, we always have to be on our guard for the few who do have curious ideas about what they might be able to get away with. Simply no-showing for a meeting is rude. Too many men aren't concerned about etiquette, though. I'm certain that the majority of the ladies have received return calls, e-mail or text messages from prospective clients who were irritated to have been asked what happened when they didn't keep an appointment. The most unpleasant fellows are those who say or imply that good manners aren't important when dealing with whores. When a man has the companion's address, not showing up and not calling to say he won't be there is highly disconcerting for us. Because I am in a quiet residential neighbourhood, I never give my address to anyone. Guests are asked to call me from a specific intersection three blocks away. I give them directions to my place from there. If they seem to be the least bit confused, I meet them outside the house. Sure, they could figure out what the street address is, but it won't be the easiest thing for them to do. If I lived in a big apartment building, I would be less protective of the building address, but I wouldn't give out the suite or buzzer number until my visitor had arrived. I'm not criticizing the way that Emerald handled things with her prospective client. She has her own reasons for what she does and the way she does it. Not hearing from the fellow within 5 minutes is likely quite reasonable in her particular circumstances. What's most telling, to me, is that he doesn't seem to have replied when she told him the meeting was off. If he'd been right outside her building, he probably would have called or texted her, apologizing for the delay and hoping that they could still meet, wouldn't he? I understand about getting cold feet. That certainly could be an explanation for what happened. I would hope, though, that if someone decides, at the last moment, that he's not able to go through with what he'd planned, he would say so before he has specific information about where I'm working. If he makes that decision after he knows where I am, I would hope he would tell me so, in person. And, of course, pay the feel for the meeting that he's cancelling.

I have one of those disclaimers on my website. I've had a few men contact me because they really did want company, but not sex, and said that, to them, the disclaimer meant that they could just ask me for a date, period, without me expecting to have or provide sexual contact. That was fine with me. I went to a company picnic, a wedding and a convention dinner party. All very nice evenings. No sex.

A brothel or bawdy house can also be a hotel room that the companion has rented in which she sees two or more different clients. Many of us have done this at various times and most of the touring ladies do it regularly. Large, 4 and 5-star hotels either don't pay attention or don't care as long as there are no complaints from hotel staff or other guests. People take hotel rooms all the time to have illicit sex, after all. As for whether things would be better if it's all legal, well, sure. I don't think this is an area of private life that needs heavy regulation by federal or municipal authorities. I'll bet that most of us will continue to work much as we are now, only without any worry that some malicious person may out us to our landlords or the neighbourhood. Until the SCC makes its decision, low-key, independent ladies like me won't be prosecuted for operating bawdy houses, but we can still be charged and that's not a small matter at all! If I were charged with operating a bawdy house, I wouldn't be held in jail or anything, but everything I own would be impounded and my bank accounts would be frozen, all deemed to be the proceeds of crime until proven otherwise. I think this is extremely unlikely, however. I'd have to be causing a significant disturbance in the neighbourhood before the police would step in and it would have to be a major problem before the Crown would lay a charge which might have to be dropped entirely in a couple of years. To be honest, I don't think changes in the bawdy house laws will affect my business one iota. I've asked everyone I've seen for the last month whether they would go to a licensed, publicly-recognizable establishment to see me or anyone else. Not one of them has expressed any interest because they have concerns about their privacy. They don't want to run into anyone or have anyone other than their paid companion know who they are. Fair enough, I think. While it's true that my way of working is illegal, in that I work from my home, in all other respects I work legally. I declare all my earnings and pay taxes accordingly. I work quietly and have never had a problem with anyone because of noise, late hours or parking. I recognize that some anxious folks want to be able to identify every prostitute in the city and ensure that we have periodic health checks, etc. I don't think that will happen. We are notoriously difficult to manage and most of us won't conform to laws that we believe are not in our best interests. Besides, if the general population had any idea how many women work in this industry, part-time, full-time or on an occasional basis, I think they'd be scandalized!

I'm grinning from ear to ear as I read your news today, Penelope. Many, many congratulations! Savor this time. It goes by soooo quickly! Take good care of yourself, drink plenty of water, eat well and get lots of sleep (because you won't for about 18 years after the little one arrives). With a warm hug, Samantha

I suggest you contact the lady and ask her what would be best for her. She probably knows more about appropriate hotels, anyway, and I'm sure she'll appreciate being asked for her input.

I think it's too early to say whether Harper will get another majority. He may have stolen the one he has. We'll see how the Elections Canada probe into the robo-calls turns out. At the moment, it doesn't look good for Harper HQ. There's plenty of disgruntlement, too, with Harper's cavalier disregard for telling the truth, not to mention his inability to appreciate that $25 billion is a heck of a lot more than $14 billion. There is no popular interest in harsher prostitution laws. None. There is enormous public concern about street sex workers and how badly they've been treated for decades, and not just in Vancouver. No one who seriously engages with the issues imagines for a heartbeat that harsher laws will solve the problems, real as well as imagined, about street prostitution. There will be people who want to invoke the specter of busy brothels popping up across the street from elementary schools, but I think that sex workers' organizations will have a lot of impact on what happens municipally. Independent companions are difficult to govern, adept at being virtually invisible and we generally ignore laws that aren't good for us. There are also a heck of a lot more of us, everywhere, than anyone outside the industry imagines--way too many for there to be any reasonable hope of licensing all of us or whatever else some folks may think is an appropriate way to control us. We're not easily controlled. If the Harper government wants to do something to show that they're still tough on prostitution, they'll probably play with the human trafficking laws. No one is in favour of trafficking. I don't think that our laws about trafficking are a problem, though. The real issue is that they aren't being enforced.

I was wondering about this! But what does it mean that the SCC has extended the stay for 30 more days? In 30 days, will it then become legal for companions to hire staff? Or will there be another extension? I don't understand what's so magical about a 30 day delay, frankly. I also don't understand what the real, practical issue is that the court may be trying to assess when it comes to the implications of companions having drivers or receptionists or living with someone else who is not a pimp.

This is a good thread, Sophia. Thanks for opening the discussion. You might consider asking for letters of reference from some of your pet grooming and reflexology clients. Ask them to focus on things like your promptness, attention to detail, attitude, demeanor, how you exceeded their expectations. If you know other groomers and reflexology therapists well enough, you might ask them for letters stating that you had a great reputation in the field and were an asset to the industry. When employers ask why you want to work for them instead of continuing to be self-employed, you might say that, much as you've enjoyed what you were doing, you want to work in a more dynamic environment with different challenges and more people. It can be very lonely to work alone all the time: you'd like to be part of a team where you can work on bigger projects, etc. You might say that you've been taking courses part-time, perhaps just out of personal interest rather than with a specific purpose in mind. Boomer's suggestion about doing some volunteer work is excellent. Find something that really interests you. The range of volunteer options is incredible! After a few months, you should easily be able to use your experience and references to help in your job search. Volunteering shows that you're willing to extend yourself into the community and make a meaningful contribution that's not solely tied income.

I've heard several radio news reports this evening in which the federal gov't representative has said that they feel obligated to appeal because relaxing prostitution laws puts women in danger. Isn't that amusing? The point Justice Himel and the OCA were making is that prostitution is unsafe as it is now. Changing the restrictions is the best way to make it safer for women to work.

I agree with you, WiT. In a way, one might consider that the feds are taking a wise direction in that the OCA warned them of their obligation to draft legislation that's consistent with the Charter, which they clearly don't want to do. The HarperCons are quick to criticize the SCC for making legislation but, since they're not likely to draft something that will survive an eventual SCC challenge, this may be the easiest way to a resolution. The SCC will take seriously that their decision will last for a generation or so, whereas the feds think within shorter-term, political parameters. On the whole, I expect the SCC will uphold the OCA, particularly since the OCA largely endorsed Justice Himmel's decision. The SCC has shown enormous reluctance to overturn appeals that supported lower court judgments. I hope the SCC rejects the communication ban, too. It's very badly written and looks like an awkward compromise, an attempt to give something to the losing side. Perhaps Bedford et al will be able to point out how the communication law is mostly being ignored by the police in all of the major cities without any obvious disintegration in the moral fabric of Canadian society. I guess we'll have to wait and see what happens!

Well, they had 30 days to file an appeal, so technically, there's nothing wrong with taking their time, I suppose. I think the feds will have a tough, uphill battle before them since the Ontario Court of Appeal upheld the lower court's affirmation about workers' rights to work safely. The government will have to figure out a way to argue that prostitutes are a special class of people who, though working legally, shouldn't be able also to work safely. The OCA didn't buy it and I don't think the SCC will, either. Not surprising, though, that the feds are employing scare tactics, invoking the specter of ladies of the night damaging otherwise quiet, law-abiding neighbourhoods with constant traffic and disturbances from our myriad bodyguards and drivers! The notion that the streets will be littered with used condoms is also ridiculous since, if the women are working indoors, any condoms scattered in lanes and alleys must come from somewhere else.

It's not a stupid question, at all, Summer. A lot will depend on the hotel's policies. You can often book a hotel room and pre-pay the fee with a credit card. It won't matter what time you leave as long as you're gone by the check-out time the next morning. Many hotels also have a "day rate" which means that you won't be staying overnight. This can be a good way to have a room during the daytime. I've never tried to do it for evening meetings, however. Call the hotel(s) you're interested in and ask them about checking out the night before, about day rates, etc. They won't be anxious about you for asking questions. I only visit or stay in large, busy 4 and 5-star hotels because I feel that they're usually the safest places. The front desk security is as close to absolute as is possible and the staff are discrete and unobtrusive. People are coming and going for all kinds of reasons. No one pays attention to what's going on unless it causes a problem. It's important not to disturb other hotel guests: they may complain and you don't want to draw attention to yourself. When I used hotels as incall locations, I rotated among several different places. That may not have been necessary, but it wasn't difficult for me to do it and so was just one additional precaution for me. Innkeepers and paid companions have been in cahoots since this industry began. We're good for each other's business. Not only that, but people have illicit sex in hotels all the time, even when no money is changing hands.

I once did a survey on a life insurance website, answering questions about my lifestyle. I said that I got, on average, about six hours' sleep a night. One of the survey results was that, if I were to sleep seven hours a night I could extend my life by over two years. That sounded interesting, until I did the math and discovered that I would be sleeping more than two years in total to get the results! Arguably, it might be worth it anyway, but when I can't get back to sleep, I tell myself how ridiculous it is to live a little longer in order to be unconscious!

Welcome, piano8950! I'm glad you're finding this to be the kind of place that we want it to be. Poke around, read whatever interests you, ask all the questions you want to ask and maybe post some LOLcat pictures or adorable puppies. When you get a random notion, there's a thread for that, too. And, oh, yeah.... sex. We talk about it a lot, around here. A LOT! The ins and outs, the ups and downs, the what-do-you-cover, when, how, for how long and what happens afterward. We have an entire forum for folks who are new or who may be interested in a few pointers. You may have learned that there may (or may not) be some exciting changes in the laws related to prostitution. We talk about that stuff a lot, too, in the Legal forum. We also stay up to date on the news. And, in case you haven't noticed already, the ladies usually have some great photos on their profile pages. For, you know, when you're tired of reading....

I agree with everyone else. There's a time and a place for everything, but that's a far cry from saying that anything is appropriate all the time, everywhere. I wouldn't have a problem with someone wearing jeans and a t-shirt to a church service or a funeral. But revealing, provocative clothing--no way! I've always told my children that they have an obligation to try not to make other people uncomfortable in social situations. Save the heated debates for the classroom, pub or when they're with their friends. Don't swear when their grandmother is present. Help me look like I'm what those other stuffy adults might consider to be a good mother!

I've always been surprised when someone sends me a photograph of himself, but I'm happy to receive photos. I feel much more comfortable about it if we've exchanged some e-mail, maybe even talked on the phone, and then he sends the photo instead of the first time he contacts me. That seems like a statement of trust, to me. As others have said, I don't really care what a man looks like. I wouldn't break a date on the basis of a photo of his head and shoulders or his whole body, fully clothed.

There are always guys who want to negotiate the rate. My advice is just to ignore them. I agree with Porthos, too. This guy is trying to threaten you with a bad review if you won't lower your fee. That's another major strike against him. You don't need him as a client! The guys who try to haggle over money and make subtle or over threats are never good clients. Give them an inch and they'll try to grab the entire continent because they never think that anyone's rules apply to them. Most men are much, much better than this, Lana. It's not too much to expect to be treated with respect. There are plenty of wonderful men who are looking for someone just like you and will happily pay the fees you've set for yourself. Don't compromise!

Congratulations, Porthos! Keep at it!

Just one of 21 Cats Imitating Art!