SamanthaEvans

You know you want to! Just Push the Button!

A body and its mind don't always agree about how respond to something. I have worked with women and men who have been sexually assaulted. I know that one of the biggest hurdles in therapy can be dealing with the mind/body split. When have been restrained and stimulated, their bodies respond even though they don't want to be aroused, don't want to have contact with the other person and don't want to have sex. There's an evolutionary theory that women's bodies respond as a way to minimize or prevent injury from forced intercourse. I don't know whether that's true or not, but no one should imagine that signs of arousal indicate consent. Men who have been anally raped by other men often experience enormous emotional turmoil and self-doubt because of what seems like a betrayal by their own bodies. Prostate stimulation causes erections and orgasms even when the recipient doesn't want it or is in pain because of it. Some men are horrified by the notion that this somehow proves that they must be gay, when they're not. People who were sexually abused as children in ongoing relationships (as opposed to isolated incidents) often need to work through a number of issues related to their memories and experiences of pleasure and how their adult desires are related to their childhood experiences.

It only rains when I've gone somewhere without my raincoat and brolly. If I'd taken them, it would have become unseasonably warm.

Does anyone have a ?

What a sad story! I'm sorry for your loss, Carrie. Since you have so much respect for him, I'm sure he was a terrific guy. As for tasers... I'm not a supporter. They look like one more example of what happens when some people are given a hammer and start believing that there are so many nails around them.

Peachy, never assume that if you only admit to making $12,000 or any other amount that you don't need to file a tax return. Even with minimal income, it's always better to file a return than not to file one. For example, you're only eligible for things like the GST/HST rebate if you've filed a tax return. Other benefits are also keyed to last year's taxable income. If you want to qualify for a loan or a lease, you may need to provide your Notices of Assessment for the last three years to demonstrate that you have adequate income. Not having those documents will limit your ability to get credit. You need an accountant. Tell him or her the truth about what you do for a living and what your plans are for your business. Ask for advice and have them file your tax return for you. All smart paid companions declare their income and pay taxes on it. The others risk problems with the CRA. Their penalties are harsh and inescapable.

I wouldn't want any gentleman to feel that he's not allowed to ask questions about what the lady offers and what her restrictions are. If you've checked out her website--where such things are frequently described--and still have questions, by all means, ask for the information. I can't imagine why any of us would consider polite inquiries to be a waste of time. Compatibility makes for a good rendez-vous, after all! Time-wasters are not trying to determine whether the lady is right for them. Most are more turned on by the fantasies they have while making contact than by actually meeting us. Their inquiries are not so much about trying to figure out whether we're compatible as they are about material for their own, private, solo pleasure, for free. Some of the time-wasting things I've experienced from men I've not met have included: Peppering me with long lists of questions about minutiae. I once had someone send me a list of 75 questions to which he wanted me to respond on a sliding scale of 1-5, from "absolutely not" to "our meeting would be a failure if we don't." This wasn't a BDSM scene negotiation: the questions were about "vanilla" activities. Demanding information about what went on in my recent meetings with other clients. Expecting me to provide a list of clothing and lingerie options from which he would decide what I would wear and, if I didn't have something that he thought he would like, also expecting me to go shopping to acquire whatever he thought would be suitable. At my own expense, of course. Sending highly explicit pornographic scene descriptions to which I was expected to respond, giving exact details about how closely my responses to the activities would or would not match those of the woman in the scene. Asking for advice about problems they're having at home or at work. Pointed questions about my sexual fantasies. Trying to turn phone conversations into phone sex, which is not something I offer. Describing encounters they claim to have had with other companions in the city, whom they name, and expecting me to offer opinions about those ladies and their alleged actions. Repeatedly making appointments a week or two in advance and then cancelling the morning of, or one or two hours before, the meeting. (I know that unexpected things happen to everyone. But if short-notice cancellations happen twice in a row, I may not agree to meet with a prospective client a third time without a non-refundable payment in advance.) The most common time-wasters, though, are the fellows who want to exchange e-mail daily or even several times a day about unimportant things like the weather, what kind of music I listen to, what I'm reading, what I cooked for dinner last night, and so on. These men tend to sulk or chide if their expectations aren't met to their satisfaction. I'm quite happy to exchange e-mail, sometimes two or three times a week, before meeting, particularly if the man is from out of town, but my notes will be fairly brief, warm, cheerful and rarely include much info about my personal, private life. I've received many other, similar time-wasting requests. I'm sure that most of the companions on this board could easily come up with quick lists, too. I'm happy to answer serious questions. I know how important it can be to find someone who provides experiences that he hasn't been able to have at home or elsewhere. If the man seems to be nervous or anxious, I usually suggest we have a strictly social meeting, first, like lunch in a restaurant. My social rates are lower than my private rates and I'm happy to get to know someone while relaxing over a meal without the expectation that we'll have private intimacy afterward. These social meetings aren't a waste of time, at all. I enjoy them!

That is hilarious!

My version of Murphy's law is something like, "The only meetings that start on time are the ones I'm going to be late for."

I've been self-employed for most of my working life and have never registered my businesses. I was the only employee and have always worked from my home most of the time. The advice I received when I first started to work was that there was no need to register my business in most jurisdictions. You're eligible for all the same tax credits and whether the business is registered or not. You can claim self-employment income on your tax return, make claims for legitimate business expenses, such as advertising, travel and materials directly related to your work. If you have a car, keep a log of your mileage when you go to meet a client. Keep a record of your auto lease payments, gasoline and repairs, too. You will be able to claim a portion of these costs as business expenses. If you tour, you can claim the cost of flights, accommodation and half of your meals. You can also claim a portion of your heat, electricity and home telephone expenses as well as the cost of your workspace. Bank records are helpful, but the CRA won't ask for them. They do monitor bank accounts, however, so it would not be wise to deposit income and then not acknowledge receiving it when you file your income tax return. Undeclared cash income is still income, whether you put it in the bank or not. There are no laws requiring anyone to put money in the bank or to prevent us from spending cash.

Many people who are allergic to pollens and some molds also have or will develop oral allergy syndrome. Our bodies mistake some foods for pollens that we're allergic too and give a histamine response. The foods are usually fruits that grow on trees (including pine nuts), berries, nuts that grow on trees (i.e., not peanuts or coconuts), celery, artichokes, cucumber, carrots and tomatoes. For most people, cooking the fruits and vegetables kills the amino acids that mimic the allergens. But cooking tree nuts doesn't do this! Oral allergy reactions are strongest during the high pollen seasons--spring and fall. During those seasons, it's a good idea to avoid eating the uncooked fruits and veggies that may be a problem, even if you don't have oral allergy yet. Avoiding them may mean that you never have to deal with oral allergy at all. I know this stuff because I have developed a bad case of oral allergy syndrome that lasts year-round. Tree nuts are potentially lethal for me now.

I like this idea a lot, Phaedrus. I often ask for deposits from new clients when booking weeks or months in advance, as frequently happens when they live out of town. I tell those who aren't willing to pay the deposit that they're welcome to contact me after they arrive in Vancouver to see whether I have time available to meet with them. If other companions were willing to receive deposits for travelling ladies, that could solve quite a few problems for everyone. The drop-off would need to be simple to arrange without compromising the receiving lady's location and without requiring lots of e-mail to make arrangements. But it could be done!

I agree, too! I can understand if someone doesn't want to include his city or town. Privacy matters! But when there's very little or nothing in a man's profile, that sends up a warning flag for me. It's not that I want tons of revealing information posted on a public board--that would be absurd. Some details about interests and activities helps me get a sense of who a man is.

One of the many things I like about mrrnice2 is that he showed me photographs of his garden in full bloom last year. He grows beautiful flowers!

Congratulations, lovely one!

Lee, if you're prepared to pay the up-front costs which, after all, will include travel and accommodation expenses for you to meet with me in Vancouver and Gabriella wherever she may be and of course for all of us to work on product development and marketing strategies, perhaps at a Gulf Islands or Georgian Bay resort, surely we can be have some samples ready fairly soon. We'll also need yarn. Saltspring Island is well known for its sheep and even has a co-op spinning mill that produces a special blend of alpaca, wool and mohair that's lovely to work with and look at. Finding someone who's farming cashmere goats might be a good idea, too The Canadian National Cashmere Fleece Competition is in late June. Should we attend? A good video camera is essential, I think. I can provide tape measures and knitting needles! Oh, by the way... I notice that there are a number of budget-priced "willy warmers" available on e-bay. Here's one example: A novel idea, though I think we're expecting to create something more luxurious, don't you? This one is going for about $10. Let's be honest, Gabriella and I work at the upper end of the market and so our products should reflect our expertise, as I'm sure you'll agree. As always, I'm eager to know your thoughts!

One more elephant.

Happy anniversary, Spud! I lived in England for five years a long time ago. I loved it there, but I'm glad to be in Canada. Take a break from the spring cleaning. Maybe go and celebrate being here by, say, having High Tea somewhere? Happy Easter, too!

I'll admit to being a hypocrite. I'm a major animal lover. Animals are frequently the subjects of my artwork and I've always lived with cats, dogs and birds. I also eat meat. I wear shoes and belts and I carry leather handbags. I've had a couple of wonderful leather jackets at different times. I wore a gorgeous full length mink coat for awhile--a gift from a man to whom I was engaged at the time and which I returned when I decided to break the engagement. My dressiest coat these days has fox fur trim. I'm more than a little ambivalent about fur, though. I don't expect to wear mink ever again. Or any "farmed" animal, for that matter. There's really not much reason to wear a fur coat in Vancouver: it's rarely very cold for long. But if I lived somewhere that had cold, snowy winters, I wouldn't rule out wearing fur if the animal had been hunted or trapped for the reasons Lee Richards has noted. I'm also conscious of the Aboriginal fur trade and don't object to it. So, I could see myself wearing badger, beaver or fox. They're wonderfully warm and a good fur coat lasts a very long time. I wear silk, too. I don't think there is a humane way to harvest silk, but I'm much less anthropomorphic about worms than about mammals. I wear cotton, but less than I once did since learning about the environmental damage cotton farming causes and the health damage workers often receive, in addition to being extremely poorly paid for their labour. I wear wool, a lot, but it comes from animals that I expect are well-treated. The animals don't have to die to give up the fur, which is a relief. I don't wear polyester though, unless I can't avoid it (I haven't been able to find a bra that wasn't mostly polyester, for example). It's a petroleum product and I've been trying for years to reduce the petroleum products, including polyester and plastics, that I use. I think that petroleum products are just bad for us and our world. But I'm pretty hypocritical about this, too. I do drive, after all.

Your summaries and analyses are essential reading for me, WiT. Thank you for posting this. I look forward to Part 2.

I've gotta say, from my perspective here in Vancouver, this inquiry looks more and more like a circus as the weeks go by. In my admittedly limited circle, people are asking questions about who benefits most from these claims of sexual harassment and how these allegations may be used as yet one more way to discredit what has been a profoundly flawed inquiry from before it started. It looks very much like, rather than setting things to rest for the victims' families and the general public, it will increase anxiety.

A very good paper was published this week by the American University Washington College of Law Center for Human Rights and Humanitarian Law on their website rightswork.org. This document is 17 pages long, but worth everyone's time and attention. It's a very complete, comprehensive analysis of the Swedish anti-prostitution law that squarely addresses the deliberate deceptions the Swedish government has fostered in its review of the law and its misleading statements about its effectiveness. The author, Ann Jordan, considers the Swedish model to be a failed experiment in social engineering in its attempts to convince men to change their behaviour (that is, to stop buying sex) through fear of arrest and intense public stigma; to force sex workers to find another way to make a living; and eliminate trafficking into forced prostitution as well as the activities of migrant sex workers. She addresses the rights of prostitutes to work safely and how those rights are endangered in Sweden to the extent that the law may be seen not only to be against prostitution but also to increase the vulnerability of migrant workers to abuse because it creates a fertile climate for their exploitation. A brief but clear analysis of the 2010 Bedford decision and the 2012 Bedford Appeal result forms a significant part of the paper. The author recommends that any state considering anti-prostitution legislation should consider the Bedford decisions with utmost care and that sex workers in places where their work is outlawed should also consider the decisions and how they might help form their arguments for legal reform. The full article is available as a PDF here.