SamanthaEvans

A lovely little video about blind children in Thailand learning about elephants!

I saw this earlier this week. It's totally creepy! People need to know how to make their social media settings private. It's not easy, most of the time, because the networks want to make more money from advertising and that's hard to do if visitors to someone's page can't click around a few times. But there are lots of helpful sites on the web that will give detailed, visual instructions about how to make your Facebook, Twitter, Google+ and other profiles private.

This is a great topic, VJ. And as always, I appreciate roamingguy's contribution. I would only add that, while there are no guarantees other than that I will be warm, friendly and welcoming, I don't mind being asked in advance if I would be open to considering something when we meet if the circumstances are right for me. I'm open to this because, in my experience, some men are interested in something very specific that they haven't been able to find elsewhere. My response is generally to the effect that I'd like to have an initial meeting without expectations but, if we're in sync, that thing is something I enjoy and would be happy to consider on a future date. I learn a lot about prospective clients by the response I receive to this reply. Most understand immediately and agree to take things more slowly. I believe this is not only because they're good guys, but also because everyone is a bit nervous the first time they meet someone new. I have been accused a few times of trying to secure guaranteed future meetings so that I can make more money. That's not true; I felt insulted by the accusation. Compatibility is what matters most to me. Like VictoriaJolie, I don't like to engage in detailed discussions of activities, but I don't object to simple, polite inquiries about what may be possible eventually.

Not only do not all men understand these things, but most women know that we are sometimes unexpectedly surprised, too. It's a shame that this happened, for sure. The good thing is that he was using a condom which minimizes his risk not only of STI transmission, but also of contact with blood (which can also be a source of infection).

Wishing you much peace and joy for your birthday, RG!

Instead of a dental dam or non-microwaveable Saran wrap, you can slice open a condom or a glove. The gloves are thicker than most condoms, though, but it's easier to cover a larger area with them. If the gloves are powdered, the powder rinses off very easily.

Most companions in the Vancouver area wouldn't be too far away for you to visit or for them to go and meet with you. The city isn't that big!

There is no sure-fire way to get a woman to respond. There's no guaranteed way to get her interested in doing something she hasn't done before or found unpleasant when she tried. The only way to have a likelihood of success is to abandon goals, measures of success and pressure of any type. Talk to her about what you like, what feels good to you, whether she's doing it to you or you're doing it to her. Lots of, "that feels good," and "I love how it feels to do this to you," will not go amiss. Encourage gentle, playful exploration. In the bedroom, be sure never to say a single critical, negative or disappointed thing about anything she does, how she looks, what she's wearing or her mood. Give positive feedback only. Be enthusiastic and engaged. If you do need to give some negative feedback or make a complaint, save it for a time when you're both dressed, in a good mood and not in the bedroom! Extend your range of intimate activities outside the bedroom, too. Do the vacuuming, laundry and the dinner dishes half the time or more! :icon_wink:

My experience is the sames as fortunateone's. Many men do ask for information, instructions, opportunities to try something new with someone who won't judge them and who will be dedicated to creating a mutually satisfying experience. But if you're interested in lessons, instead of inviting your partner to see a paid companion, check out what's going on at some the better adult toy stores in your area. I know that many of them offer workshops, events and evenings for women, men and couples on everything from oral techniques to toys to kinky games. My experience has been that these are fantastic, positive events where everyone of every level of experience will learn new things and have a great time.

fortunateone, I can't give you any more rep points until I've spread the love more widely, but I agree with everything you've said. While I'm sure there may be ladies who would be willing to work through an online booking site, I'm not one of them. I don't care how much verification such a place may get from a prospective client. I only see the gentlemen I elect to see because I want to see them. References can be helpful. I have accepted verification from some US sites, too. These things have never been the deciding factor for me when I'm considering engaging a new client. I have my own reasons for choosing to meet, or not to meet, someone. In the end, the only person I trust to make decisions about who is or is not appropriate for me to see is... me. The only one to whom I will be accountable about the time I spend with a client is the client himself. The only one who should ever know who that client is also happens to be me. Lots of people want to find ways to make some money from some aspect of the sex industry. I'm sure that future changes in the law will encourage some folks to try things that they haven't tried yet. That's how markets work, all the time. But the old-fashioned way still works beautifully for me.

I'm sad to see the penny go. I complain about them when I have too many of them in my wallet, but I still like them a lot. It's true that they're not worth much in real terms. I remember feeling rich when I was a little girl and had a dime or even a quarter to take to the corner store to buy penny candy. That hasn't been possible for a long, long time. But nostalgia isn't a good enough reason to hold onto the penny, I suppose, and I don't think there's any political will to do a complete economic reset so that pennies would be valuable once again.

The thing about comparing prices in order to get the best deal on the same Honda is that, in the end, one expects to have a specific car that will perform predictably. We expect each brand new Honda Civic to be pretty much the same as every other. It's very different with human beings. A lot of psychotherapists might charge the same hourly fee, but that's no measure of any one's suitability as a therapist for a particular person. The other thing is that lots of us don't want to see just anyone who can make a booking. This is one of the main reasons some women leave escort agencies to work on their own: they want to screen their clients themselves. Thank you, backrubman. I understand what you mean. My quibble is that prostitution is legal in Canada. I cannot be prosecuted simply for being a prostitute. The issue has been how and under what circumstances I may work. The Bedford decision is about our right to work in safe conditions. It's possible to see a paid companion right now without breaking any laws, though many people don't know it. If a man invites a companion to visit him in his home or his own hotel room, it's perfectly legal for him to pay her for and receive her time and companionship. Nothing in the Bedford decision would change this. What is added is that it will be legal for a companion to entertain a paying guest in her own home or workplace. Many of us feel much safer when we control our work environment. In another year, or after the Supreme Court looks at the situation, it may very well be just as legal for us to work on an incall basis as it is to accept outcalls only. I think it would be much healthier for our society to relax about sex in general and about paid companionship specifically. Maybe broader legalization will be a step along the way.

Market niche and fees are complex issues, backrubman. It may be that, one day, there will be Expedia-type booking services. But they won't apply to everyone. The way I see it, the Honda Fit, Toyota Yaris and Hyundai Elantra are all decent-quality economy cars. We can argue about which is the most reliable, which is the most fuel efficient or which may have the best features and options. Many people will be satisfied with the car they select and may look for something similar the next time they're looking for an automobile. And rightly so: good value and high performance for the price are compelling factors. Even so, much as they appreciate such things, some people want a different experience and will not consider anything other than a Rolls-Royce. As far as they're concerned, there's no competition. They may even have enjoyed Toyotas in the past. But what they want and expect to pay for is a Rolls-Royce.

-- great on a rainy Thursday morning. RIP Earl Scruggs. You were one of the true originals.

I agree with you, backrubman. The OCOA decision has changed the climate across the country in lots of ways. I want to say that, as I described here some time ago, for awhile in 2010-2011 I was being stalked by a former client. I finally reported him to the police, using the Vancouver Police Department's Sex Workers' Liaison Officer. I had been very nervous about making this report because, after all, I technically operate and live in a "common bawdy house" and had never had any reason to identify myself to the police. My experience with the VPD was superb from start to finish. I was assured repeatedly that the VPD has no interest in looking for, monitoring or charging independent sex workers who aren't causing any trouble in their neighbourhoods. When they paid a visit to my stalker, the police told him that they know I'm a prostitute and that he had been one of my clients; they weren't concerned about that. What they were there to talk about was that he was criminally harassing me and that he would be charged if he didn't stop immediately. My part of the arrangement was that I had to promise to report him if he contacted me again and to assist them in prosecuting him if that happened. I was under the impression that they would assist in protecting my real-life identity because there would be no useful purpose served in revealing my real name in court or to the media. Perhaps I'm terribly naive or too trusting in general--though those would not be useful qualities in my line of work--but I honestly don't expect the city of Vancouver or the VPD to have a sudden change of heart when it comes to dealing with independent paid companions like me. I screen very carefully. I don't make it especially easy for anyone to see me. I'm sure I tick some people off from time to time, but that's generally in the initial discussion, long before they know anything about where I live and work. I turn away anyone I have the slightest doubt about, no matter how great they seemed to be when they first contacted me. I trust my intuition and, other than the stalker I've described, I've never had a problem with a client. Maybe I've been lucky all these years. My point is that I don't see a good reason to be worried or to look for trouble too far ahead. I do think we need to be proactive. Sex workers' organizations should start working now with municipalities in anticipation of bylaw changes that may occur after the Supreme Court of Canada makes decisions in a two or three years. But for now, individually, I think we should keep calm and carry on.

I don't think there are any stupid questions, Peachy. There aren't any bylaws, yet, that apply to independent ladies. It will be awhile before there are. WrinkledInTime has posted some helpful analysis in this thread in the Legal section. Bylaw enforcement is different from investigating and prosecuting crime. It tends to be less formal and a person found to be in contravention of a municipal bylaw doesn't end up with a criminal record. But the standards of evidence aren't as strict as they are in criminal proceedings. It's hard to imagine that independent companions would be the high on the list of things for municipalities to be concerned about. Publicly known brothels would be much more likely to be the focus of attention. Those of us who work quietly and privately aren't likely to be investigated unless there's a serious complaint made. Even now, independent providers are rarely investigated or charged by the police unless there are serious complaints made by neighbours, usually about noise or parking or too much activity in the middle of the night. The police have to put quite a bit of time and effort into monitoring someone, to gather evidence to bring a charge. It's not usually a worthwhile investment of their time right now. What's clear is that things will change, in time. I don't think we need to be more anxious at the moment, however.

I'm not crazy about beauty contests, either, but I don't think that this woman should have been disqualified. I also don't think that she lied when she claimed to be a "naturally born woman." She sees herself as female. She lives her whole life as a woman, 24/7. And Cat, if you get a dinner date with her, I want to come along, too!

Cat, I agree with you, 100%. We have to be proactively part of the solution. That may be more difficult than it seems at first glance. There's a lot of public support and sympathy for street-based workers--and rightly so. But if the public were to realize how many independent paid companions are living and working in their midst, well, let's just say that it won't matter that many, many of us have been working quietly under the radar for years without causing the slightest problem for anyone. We will need to advocate for ourselves. The New Zealand model for independent women who work alone or with another couple of associates is sensible and has worked well in NZ for quite awhile. City officials and neighbours need to be assured that municipal bylaws will take care of their biggest concerns--traffic, noise, disturbances--and that this kind of local management is the most effective, too. As for the street-based sex workers, clearly the OCOA has sold them out. Perhaps the court was trying to toss a bone to the anti-prostitution folks or the community standards advocates; I don't know why they would make such a badly-constructed decision in the midst of what is otherwise a carefully thought-out judgment. At the same time, even though soliciting in public is a crime, no one has been arrested in Vancouver for doing it in over three years and I suspect that there's not a lot of interest in prosecuting women in other large cities. If the communicating law had been struck down it would not result in an influx of women to the street-based sex trade. The great majority of women in that sector of our industry have multiple problems and challenges that culminate in using the streets and alleys as workplaces. They're not going to work in organized brothels: they're not ready for the changes that would be required of them, unfortunately.

Well, maybe. But technically, one can still be tried under the laws that were in effect at the time one was originally charged. As for taking a gamble on the amount of time it takes to get a case to court, I suppose some might consider it, but there's more at stake than it might seem on the surface. It's very important to have a good relationship with law enforcement, or at least to avoid being on their radar unnecessarily. If or when brothels are legalized, you can be sure that people who are opposed to them will make a steady stream of complaints about publicly-known establishments in the hope that they may influence police action against those businesses. This already happens with massage parlors. In the end, though, it's important to recognize that the vast majority of "brothels" are now considered to be bawdy houses which are, and will continue to be, operated by independent women who work alone, or perhaps share a place with one or two other women. Enticing as the notion of fancy Victorian-fantasy brothels may be, it's not going to be the principal option anywhere. Why? Because most gentlemen will not want to risk being discovered visiting these places if they have families or if they have public reputations that they want to protect.

Yay! :bigclap:

Congratulations Emily! You are a real treasure!

What really goes on in the forest when no one is looking.

Congratulations, Sara!

Thousands of hippies are apparently <ahem!> "descending" on a mountain peak in France, in anticipation of the end of the world on or about December 21st. They expect to be rescued by the aliens in spaceships believed to be hiding inside this particular mountain, which is the highest in the Corbiere range. Read the story in the UK's Independent.

Yup! :motion: