SamanthaEvans

I agree with you, drlove. But I think the feds will appeal because they won't want to be seen, from their perspective, to roll over when the PM has been so emphatic about the prostitution laws. There's always the chance that, by the time the SCC makes a ruling, we may have a different government and they'll have to deal with the outcome of the SCC decision. Even if we're still bearing the burden of a Harper government, it's in their interests to delay things for as long as possible. While the OCOA decision applies only to Ontario, it sets up other courts to make similar or related rulings in other provinces. Courts frequently refer to the reasoning and decisions rendered by other courts. And so, it is foreseeable that the OCOA decision may have effect across the country. As it is already, no one has been arrested for soliciting in public in Vancouver in more than three years and no independent paid companion has been charged with operating a bawdy house in a very long time. Massage parlors and micro brothels have been raided, however. Some of the massage parlors are operated by organized crime, here, but most are not. The micro brothels are usually run by Asians and staffed by women who are visiting Canada from China or Korea. While I understand that many people imagine a brothel to be something like the Chicken Ranch in Nevada or a Victorian brothel from some movie, that's not the reality. Legally speaking, thousands of brothels already operate all over the country, in every large city and in every neighbourhood of those cities. Most of these brothels are operated by independent paid companions who work alone, often from our own homes or from apartments we've rented to use as workspace. While I don't consider myself to be running a brothel, I could be charged with keeping a common bawdy house because I "habitually" offer my companionship services in the same place to more than one client. Indeed, if a paid companion rents a hotel room and sees two or more gentlemen there, that room can be deemed to be a bawdy house. The media is already giving time and space for people who want to frighten the public into imagining that busy houses full of prostitutes will be operating 24/7 in their neighbourhoods, endangering children's safety and attracting shady characters and a lot of crime, too. This is highly unlikely. While there are sex workers who do want to work together and perhaps open unambiguous brothels, most paid companions will continue to prefer to work as quietly and unobtrusively as possible. Some of us are eager to be able to work publicly. Plenty of us prefer privacy. Similarly, some of our visitors may be happy to attend at a well-known establishment, but I suspect that the majority will continue to prefer more discrete, confidential companionship. The point of overturning the bawdy house laws is to give women in the sex trade choices about where they feel is safest for them to work. It also affords us the same privacy to engage in mutually consensual activities with other adults that the rest of the Canadian public enjoys.

The federal government should thing long and carefully about taking this to the SCC, I think. With the great majority of this decision upholding Justice Himel, and the flimsy argument against keeping "communicating" as an offense, the SCC might well overturn that aspect of the OCOA decision, too, and rule that the communicating law is truly unconstitutional. However.... sending this to the SCC buys time and prevents either major changes or messing around with the will-we/won't we considerations about new legislation. It's very clear that the courts are not going to tolerate legislation that violates the rights of Canadians even if those Canadians are prostitutes and other sex workers. Yay! All day today, the responses on CBC radio Vancouver shows have been in favour of the Ontario decision. This, in the face of the ongoing inquiry into the police's inaction re: Picton, becomes a very strong public statement. The usual nay-sayers have been airing their views, without significant support from anyone else. Susan Davis (who is Susie here) has been eloquent, clear, to the point and simply fantastic, as usual.

The government can write laws that will make prostitution completely illegal in Canada, yes. But that would be a major change in policy since it has never been illegal to be a prostitute or to engage in prostitution within certain limits. The Ontario Court of Appeal (OCOA) is very clear that new legislation must uphold the Charter rights of prostitutes. This is important because the federal government had argued that it had no obligation to protect prostitutes because they were working in an industry known to be dangerous to workers' safety and well-being. The OCOA rejected this argument, saying that it "implies that those who choose to engage in the sex trade are for that reason not worthy of the same constitutional protection as those who engage in other dangerous, but legal, enterprises." The OCOA decision applies only to Ontario: the Appeal court doesn't have jurisdiction over any other province. However, it's reasonable to expect that police and courts may be reluctant to prosecute women in, say, Alberta, for activities that would be legal in Ontario. There has already been a noticeable decline in the numbers of women charged with prostitution-related offenses in the last few years. No one has been charged with street solicitation in Vancouver in over three years, for example. I haven't read the entire decision in detail, yet. It's 148 pages long. You can find it here.

It's been clear from the time Justice Himel released her decision that this would end up at the Supreme Court of Canada, regardless of the outcome at the Ontario Court of Appeal. So, yes, this is just one step along the way. While the Harper government opposes the Himel decision, there's no certainty that the SCC will. Indeed, the SCC is historically reluctant to overturn Appeal decisions. The Harper government has shown a reluctance to abide by SCC recommendations or to accept its advice. What they will do if the SCC upholds Himel is difficult to say since they pay an enormous amount of attention to poll results and, so far, the polls have overwhelmingly been in favour of the direction the Himel decision leads. It's also important to note that police departments and the RCMP across the country show little interest in arresting women who work on the streets. When law enforcement agents choose not to enforce laws, the longevity of new legislation that would essentially replicate current laws may be limited. However, that doesn't mean that street-based sex workers are safer than they were when they were more likely to be charged.

Thanks, Mod, for giving that history and info about PayPal. I will accept e-mail money transfers and will give a neutral-looking e-mail address, too, if the gentleman wants to send funds this way. However, ladies should know that it's not enough for the man to send the money transfer, you must also accept it for the transaction to be final. If you happen to delay accepting it until later, he can recover the funds. So, always accept the funds before the meeting. I would not accept payment by direct deposit because I would have to give my banking information, including my real name and address, to the other party. This may be acceptable with a well-known, established visitor, but I would prefer not to do it. E-mail transfers are great, but some gentlemen may not want to send money in advance of meeting, especially if they haven't met the companion before. It's a good way to arrange for deposits for meetings. I often do that, particularly if the meeting is booked weeks or months in advance, or if a visitor wants to book several meetings over a short period of time (which is common for guests from out of town).

I'm coming to this thread very late, I know, but it's such a good discussion and I want to take part in it. I think that every companion needs to think very seriously and carefully about her ideal imaginary client. How old is he? How does he spend his time, working and recreationally? What is he interested in, in broad terms--such as sports, or politics, or the outdoors? What kinds of things might he want to experience in an encounter? In what ways does she see herself as being an ideal companion for him? The better we identify these qualities in ourselves and in our prospective clientele, the better we can focus our advertising, website, correspondence and forum posts. And always remember that everything you say, when speaking as an SP online, is advertising!

Notice the differences between the ways that the male journalists, police officers and researchers describe the sex workers and the ways that the female journalists, officers and lawyers describe them? They're subtle in some ways, but they make an impression on me and I'm not quite sure what to think. I'm going to ponder this for a bit. My note here is just my own observation. I'd be interested to know if others also see these differences.

I do offer social meetings at a lower rate than for a private engagement. I agree that this is a very good way to connect with someone and see how the chemistry is before committing to a longer meeting. I'm also willing to exchange e-mail and have a phone conversation or two before meeting if that helps to set a prospective visitor's mind at ease. Ensuring that we're both comfortable with each other is one of my highest priorities.

There are more of them here!

Real gentlemen keep appointments or give as much advance notice as possible that they need to change the meeting time. When they give little notice or call after the meeting was scheduled to begin, the sincere ones won't be upset about paying for the missed meeting. Similarly, if a good companion needs to change a meeting time, she gives as much advance notice as possible and, if on short notice, generally reduces her fee or offers some other kind of benefit for re-booking the meeting. One of the difficulties that companions have to accept is that, for some men, going through the steps of making an inquiry, having a discussion about meeting options, fees, locations and activities, and making a firm booking is all they need to feel satisfied. It's all foreplay, part of an elaborate personal fantasy that he will never complete except in his own mind. In my experience, those prospective guests who insist on extensive e-mail and/or telephone conversations for days or weeks prior to meeting are more likely not to show up when the time comes. I don't mean that there's a problem with exchanging e-mail or calls ahead of time--far from it! I enjoy a good conversation that gives me a sense of who I will be meeting. The troublesome fellows are often easy to identify because they may write long, pornographic tales and urge me to reply in kind. (I never do.) They may try to set up elaborate fantasies or rituals, require specific and sometimes unusual wardrobe or make-up, demand intimate photographs not found on my website, or even nag me to tell them stories about things I may have done in the past. The guys who express great anxiety or uncertainty about whether it's safe to visit and who seem to want me to go beyond reasonable limits to reassure them that they will be safe with me are also much less likely to show up as planned. Unfortunately, people occasionally set up appointments that they have no intention of keeping because they want to reduce the likelihood that a paid companion will be able to work. I'm sorry to say that some SPs have been known to masquerade as potential male clients, contacting and booking time with touring ladies. They do this because they're insecure, new to the industry, jealous or envious; they hope to discourage highly-regarded, high-rated travelling companions from visiting their city. In Vancouver for the last three summers, a loosely-organized group of men has tried very hard to book false engagements with many high-end companions, often targeting particular days of the week. Their objective was to book appointments and not show up, in the hope that they could ensure that none of us would make any money that day. No-shows are almost inevitable in this business. I can't think of any hard-and-fast rules that will guarantee that a prospective new client will keep a meeting. But careful screening, patience and dedication do pay off in the end. I've found it best not to take special or unusual requests for first meetings. I also request deposits for extended meetings, particularly those made weeks or months in advance. I will not book an overnight engagement with someone I haven't seen before, nor will I go out of town to meet someone I don't know. For me, getting to know a bit about a gentleman before he visits me is always helpful for both of us. The more we can establish a friendly, personal rapport with one another, the greater the likelihood that all will go as expected.

I don't think this is unfair, it's just the way things work in many industries including ours. People do check out new restaurants, for example, or keep an eye open for wines that haven't been previously available. Women who are just starting out usually get a lot of traffic because they're new. A lot of men are very interested in meeting them and there's no doubt that if one is willing to see someone who's new, he may discover a rare gem who may provide him with many hours of pleasure over time. My experience is that women who are new to our industry are often surprised by the amount of work they need to do to create their own "brand," establishing a presence in their city, on boards and related places. The good ones work hard, learn quickly, take care of themselves and engage well not only with their clients but with other companions, too. They also recognize from the outset that after our personal safety nothing is more important than protecting the privacy of our clients. I understand very well why someone may not want to give me personal information about himself. There are usually several ways to satisfy my screening requirements and I'm happy to work something out whenever I can. I'd also like to point out, though, how exceedingly rare it is to find reports of paid companions breaching clients' privacy even when those women are new to the business or have decided that this work isn't right for them. The reports that one does come across usually relate to Madams whose records have been compromised, not to independent companions. Unfortunately, it's obvious to all of us that companions' safety is much more often damaged, or worse. We all have to make our own decisions about who we will or will not see. Gentlemen may pass up an opportunity to have a stellar engagement with a remarkable woman. The ladies may also have to take a pass on an ideal potential client. That's how it goes, sometimes. Handled respectfully, no harm is done.

I accept e-mail money transfers but I don't accept credit cards. The e-mail transfer is anonymous, but the problem with credit cards is that the card holder can issue a stop payment order through the card company. That's not something I want to entertain. Cash is wonderfully clear and simple.

Well, if the reference came from me, I probably said little more than that he's a good guy, was a lovely client, treated me well and was always polite, courteous and respectful. However, the lady can be sure that I know quite a bit about the gentleman, though I will not reveal that information to her unless he has spoken to me directly and told me that would be okay. That's because I don't always know the lady who is asking for the reference and I wouldn't compromise my client's privacy even if I did. I know the real names and quite a bit of other information about most of my clients, usually because they've volunteered it sometime early on in our e-mail exchange. I take it as a sign of trust in me and/or my reputation that these gentlemen don't try to be completely anonymous. I don't require extensive personal information from anyone, but I will not see someone who seems to be going to great lengths to be completely anonymous, either. I'm delighted to have a mutually pleasurable encounter; I won't invite an opportunity to be the victim of a perfect crime, though. If a gentleman wishes to ensure that his privacy will be respected, I suggest that he should engage known and respected paid companions. Most of the time, that will mean paying a higher rate than might be charged by someone who is new to the business. Think of that as insurance. Reputation is enormously important to us. If any of us were proven to have compromised someone's confidentiality, our careers would come to a sudden end.

You may seem disproportionately small to yourself or when you've compared yourself to other men, but I have to say I would find a four-inch long penis to be great. Whether you realize it or not, you're probably well-endowed in terms of girth, and that's a lovely thing, as far as I'm concerned, especially when I don't have to worry about being choked in the worst ways or having the man thrust too deep or off-angle. Other men have told me the same things that Loki has said about nerve damage in addition to reduced or lost sensation and an inability to know whether you're erect or not. And, while injections and even penis implants are available and very effective for many men, I can't imagine why anyone would want to run the risk of needing them if they don't have to. In my experience, sex and sensuality change in a wide variety of ways as we age. Our bodies change. Men who could have a dozen erections and orgasms a night when they were 18 might be able to have two of them when they're in their 40s. Many women, including me, will happily say that middle-aged men make much better lovers in part because of this change. They learn to slow down, to take their time, to enjoy more aspects and nuances of the connection they have with partners. Health problems such as Type 2 diabetes, hypertension and heart disease can also interfere with male sexual response, making erections difficult to achieve and sometimes making orgasms seem impossible. But, whether you consider yourself to be under-endowed or whether you have acquired a problem, my opinion is that the best and most rewarding thing is for you to learn about the myriad ways that you experience pleasure. Exactly where do you most enjoy being touched? How do you want to be caressed? What kinds of things do you find most fulfilling when you have intimate contact with someone? Maybe it's a lot of cuddling and caressing. Maybe you want more kissing. Maybe you like to be surprised and would enjoy being blindfolded so that sensations are heightened because you don't know what your partner is doing until it's happening. Maybe you'd really, really like to watch your partner pleasure herself and/or show you what she likes. Maybe you've never had enough opportunity to explore your partner's body in detail and would feel like your own pleasure is more enhanced if you understood hers better. My point is that you may be surprised at how fulfilling it is not to focus on your penis too much when you have other things to experience and explore.

I like roamingguy because his roaming has given him many interesting and valuable things to say. Plus, he's got an air of mystery about him, which, of course, is very sexy!

Incalls are illegal, but not always prosecuted. If a prostitute takes a hotel room and uses it to conduct business, once two or more men have visited her, that room becomes "a common bawdy house," which it is illegal for her to keep. Note: it is not illegal for her to entertain one man in that room because one visit is not considered to be a sign of her habitual activity. In addition, even prostitutes are allowed to have personal lives, friends, families and lovers, so entertaining one visitor can easily mean that she's just living her normal, non-professional life. If the hotel becomes aware that a prostitute is renting a room and using it to conduct business, the hotel must evict her from the place because it is illegal for them to allow a bawdy house to operate on their premises. The hotel would be living on the avails of prostitution if they knowingly permit a prostitute to work there. It is perfectly legal for a prostitute to visit a man in a hotel room he has rented, however. For the most part, in Canada, four and five-star hotels are safe places to work very discretely. Despite the legal limits, it's still a fact that innkeepers and prostitutes have been in cahoots forever. We're good for each other's business, though I don't think we'll hear statements to that effect from hotel owners or managers anytime soon. Nonetheless, if you don't find charges related to someone keeping a common bawdy house at the Hotel Vancouver or the Royal York or the Chateau Laurier, don't imagine that prostitutes never take rooms there to work. We do. We behave very well: there's nothing to report! Many of the ladies who tour stay only in the best hotels because those places are also the most private and discreet. They have no need to be concerned that the front desk will slip up and give their names to anyone who inquires about the person in room 1225. Staff in these hotels do their best to be as invisible as possible unless invited to be otherwise. In general, unless the woman is calling attention to herself by having a high volume of clients visit her and/or hosting late-night engagements, her activities are likely to go unnoticed. But if she or her visitors disturb other hotel guests, that's where problems usually begin. The same goes for women who entertain clients in their homes or apartments.

Think about the encounters you've had that seemed to be the most successful. Who were those men? What were they looking for? What surprised and pleased them? If you want more men like them, pitch your advertising accordingly. If they were first-timers and you want to encourage more of them, be explicit about that. If they were highly experienced, emphasize that. If you feel particularly comfortable with men in a certain age range, say so. Advertise everywhere you can. The sites that are mostly link exchanges have some usefulness, but in my experience they're less valuable than the ads I pay for. That said, an ad doesn't have to cost a lot to be productive. Think about the places that men who are curious may know about; advertise there. Check out the websites of others in your area and see where they're advertising. Give photos and banners that link to your own website a different file name in each place you advertise. By tracking your website traffic, you'll soon learn which ads are piquing interest and whether that interest translates into bookings. This is a slow time of year. A lot of people who have some extra disposable income try to go somewhere warm for awhile or, as Malika points out, they pay the Christmas bills. Don't get discouraged. Spring is coming!

If I'm attracted to you and have reason to believe that you're available, I will make sure you know I'm interested. Admittedly, I'm what some might call a bit "forward." But I figure that, not only is life short, it's also not a dress rehearsal! If I'm attracted to you, I will look at you directly, making eye contact. I will smile at you quite a bit. I may find excuses to touch your arm, your hand or your shoulder, or encourage you to be close to me, as in looking at a menu, a theatre program or even a package label together. I will make light banter, sprinkled with a couple of jokes, if I can. If I succeed at engaging your attention, I will laugh with you, too. If we're among a group of people, I may find an opportunity to give you, alone, a gesture or a look or to speak softly so that only you can hear what I say. If I really like you, I may let down my guard with you briefly, perhaps telling you something personal about myself that I don't share with others so quickly. That's an invitation for you to get to know me better. I confess that I find a measure of male uncertainty to be charming. If I'm attracted to you and realize that you're unsure about whether you're reading me accurately, I will take the initiative. I will tell you, directly, that I like you, that I think we may have things in common, that you seem like someone I would enjoy knowing better and so on. And I have no qualms about asking a man out. However, I will only take the initiative once. If the offer isn't accepted, I drop it. I may flirt with you a bit after that, but I tend to flirt with everyone. It will be up to you to take the next step to move things along. However, I won't stare at your crotch or your ass! Men are more than body parts to me and my attraction to a man has very little to do with his physical assets alone. Similarly, men who obviously stare at my breasts or, worse, talk to them, have no chance with me. If you want to let me know that you find me attractive and would like to know me better, engage with me. Pay attention to what I say and take me seriously. Don't compliment my looks much, if at all; if you do say anything, avoid generalizations and focus on a detail, such as the colour of my blouse or the shape of an earring. I know I'm an attractive woman: hearing that I'm lovely doesn't mean much to me, but that you've really noticed something does make an impression.

I'm thinking of putting together a collection of your wisdom, Cat. This post is sure to be a classic!

Gentlemen, please.... Most men who consider themselves to be too small simply are not! Honest. You can trust me on this one: I'm sure I've seen, handled and otherwise engaged with far more penises of various dimensions than you have. :biggrin: Let's think about this, for a minute or two. Most women's vaginas are about five to five and a half inches long from entrance to cervix. A woman's g-spot is located about two inches inside her vagina. Many women do not have vaginal orgasms, but those of us who do don't need a penis to be especially long, or wide, to have one. Penises that are more than about six inches long when fully erect can be downright uncomfortable for many women. A lot of us don't like to feel anything banging against our cervixes and, if the man thrusts on an angle, he runs the risk of driving against an ovary, which is excruciatingly painful for the woman and will surely bring things to a sudden, unpleasant halt! If one is hoping to give an orgasm by rubbing the length of one's penis against the woman's clitoris, whether this is going to work or not has more to do with positions than with the size of the penis. If the woman is on top, she may be able to position herself or grind against the base of her partner's organ. Rubbing while in the missionary position rarely works. There are some men who have unusually small penises, it's true. But they are very few and far between. Those organs are usually fully functional, meaning that the owner can have very satisfying sexual contact, though he and his partner(s) may find that intercourse is not their most favourite act. Speaking for myself, alone, though I imagine that many women agree with me, penises are great, but what a man does with his hands, his tongue and, above all, his mind are the things that make the most difference.

To live on the avails of prostitution means either to be earning an income from working for a prostitute in a personal capacity--generally as a driver, security staff or someone who takes calls and makes bookings for the lady, but also includes cleaning ladies, nannies and gardeners--or to be living in the same house or apartment as a prostitute even if you're not sex worker yourself. The rationale for living in the same space is that, were it not for the income provided by the prostitute, you would not be benefiting from living in that particular place solely on the basis of your own contribution to the living expenses. Roommates and live-in nannies may therefore be considered to be living on the avails. If a landlord rents or leases accommodation to a prostitute, knowing that she will use it for business purposes, the landlord may also be found to be living on the avails. While supporting our own children who live with us is technically considered to be forcing them to live on the avails, my understanding is that the courts are extremely reluctant to prosecute us for it and no one has been charged for it in years. It's perfectly okay for prostitutes to spend their income on things other than staff and rent. We can buy groceries, drop off dry cleaning, take our kids to daycare, pay for school fees, orthodontists, car insurance and order in a pizza quite legally. I can't see why we can't give money to others, including family members who don't live with us. Plus, if your mother gives you money for your tuition, I would hope that you, in turn, would give her the info she needs to be eligible for income tax deductions! As for taxing income, in Canada, income from all sources, including income received in exchange for sexual services, is taxable. The government is not living on the avails, however, because they don't live in our homes or incall locations, don't do personal work for us and they're not our landlords. With respect to sending text messages to an escort when you're both in a public place, I think you can do that. Text messages and e-mail are considered to be private communication. They can't be overheard by others nearby, which is one of the issues about soliciting in public.

Happy birthday, Emily. I hope your day is filled with love and joy.

Good thread, Zoe! I'd like to add that if a man is very heavy--250 pounds or more--it's much appreciated if he could say something about it before we meet. I won't refuse to see someone just because he's a big guy. One of my best clients probably weighs about 325 pounds and is as sweet, kind, attentive and fun as can be. However I've sometimes felt nearly suffocated by clients over 300 pounds. My body just automatically reacts with panic if I feel I'm pinned underneath someone and not able to move adequately. It's no fun. I appreciate that a lot of men like missionary sex because it feels close and intimate. There are other ways to enhance feelings of connectedness, though, and I'm happy to put some thought and creativity into it when I know it's especially important.