SamanthaEvans

I think that a website would be good for Fat Bastard BBM. And on the website, an FAQ section. One question for the FAQ: In light of the coming Zombie Apocalypse, what kind of protection can I expect in the event that the FB BBM is invaded while I'm there?

With all due respect, I absolutely disagree. Fear is my friend. If I feel afraid, whether that seems logical or not, I know that my intuition is telling me something is amiss and that something has to change, immediately. I need to stop doing what I'm doing, get away, leave the person or people I'm with--I need to do what it takes to feel safe again. But if you are my client and you're afraid, anxious, excessively nervous, jittery, over-reactive or paranoid, your fear is not my friend because I can't trust what your reactions may be. I can't trust that you will treat me well if you're afraid of me or afraid that being with me will cause you some kind of harm. If your anxiety frightens me, I will need to get away from you. This is why I don't see potential clients who do their utmost to ensure that I won't know anything about them that might identify who they are. The ones who are always named "John Smith"; who park the car blocks away because they're worried I might remember their license plate number; who say nothing about themselves, including whether they live in town or are from another city; who won't give me a phone number to call in the event that I need to re-schedule; who will only call me from pay phones or blocked numbers--for me, these guys are just not safe clients. They give all the signs of wanting to set up perfect crimes. I don't offer crime-scenes: I offer sensual, erotic play that I expect will be pleasurable for both of us with no strings attached. If I imagine, for whatever reason, that to be safe I may need a weapon such as a gun or a knife, or that I may need to be highly specialized in martial arts, I know that the situation is the wrong one for me. If I feel that I have to frighten someone so that I can be safe, I will not be safe at all, because my experience has taught me that frightened men are very often dangerous men. Frightened men who are bigger and more physically powerful than I am are very dangerous, indeed. This is not to say that everything goes perfectly, every time, even for me. But it does mean that things that may be a little off-kilter are easily resolved. For example, I entertained a new client a few months ago. We'd had a terrific exchange of e-mail and a couple of phone calls. I liked him before I met him and I was sure he liked me, too. We went out for lunch and then went back to my place. Everything was going very well. I was having a lovely time with him and I know he was enjoying himself thoroughly. He was a skilled, attentive erotic playmate and I had no difficulty responding to him. Sometimes I'm a bit noisy. That's not usually a problem. We were at my place, no one was anywhere nearby. But when he suddenly and very firmly clamped his hand over my mouth, partially pressing against my nose, that was it. I don't know how I got him off of me so fast, I didn't even think about how to do it. The next thing I knew I was on my feet, at the other end of the bedroom, with my hand on the doorknob, while he was sitting up on the bed, looking stunned and a bit humiliated, saying, "Sam... I'm sorry. What did I do? I'm really sorry, Sam...". To his credit, he didn't come after me. He didn't even stand up, let alone try to touch me. I put on a robe. We talked. That hand over my mouth and nose had panicked me. I couldn't breathe for a couple of seconds. Was I wrong? No. Did he behave badly? No, he didn't. He made a mistake, but he wasn't trying to threaten, control or harm me. My reaction was strong, but not too strong. I didn't reach for a knife under the pillow (I don't have one). I didn't call 911. We talked it through very well. I could have ended the meeting, but I didn't. When I felt comfortable, again, we went back to what we were doing and both of us felt fine when it was time to part company. He's been back to see me twice since then.

Don't let your imagination run away with you. The vast majority of prospective clients have no intention of causing anyone any harm whatever. They see us because they want company and intimacy that will not follow them when the engagement ends. They don't want any drama. Most of the time, in my experience, new clients are a bit shy, a little awkward, eager to make a good impression, anxious about how the meeting will go, very concerned that I may not like them or that I will turn them away when we meet. They're frequently reluctant to make the first move because they don't want to be turned down or to go too fast. Personally, I find all of this to be rather endearing. I want to underscore everything that's been said about honing your intuition. If anything in your early interactions with a prospective client feels "off" to you, take a pass. It's true that you may give up the opportunity to see the greatest guy you will ever meet. Or you might be passing up an axe murderer who's just arrived in your city. You'll never know. What you can be sure of is that not seeing someone means not exposing yourself to risks and that is often a very wise thing to do. I've been in this business for awhile. I turn away about 75-80% of the men who contact me. There have been times when I turned away more than that. I have never, ever been sorry to have chosen not to see someone. In my experience, the women who often have the hardest time with clients tend to be too submissive or too desperate to make some money quickly. The desperate ones take huge, unnecessary risks. They often feel guilty or unhappy that they're in this business and they just want to get things over with, get paid and forget about it all. Women who are too submissive often have poor boundaries, let themselves get caught up in negotiating activities or rates, and are too likely to give in to what the client wants even if it's risky. Women who have a strong sense of themselves, who won't yield or compromise under pressure and who are able to take control of the engagement are less likely to be harmed.

There are different kinds of retainers, too. A paid companion might be given a set amount of money each week or month. Or the client might pay for her auto lease, or her mortgage. Some offer sizable retainers so that the companion won't have to see other clients, or won't have to see very many. That's more like a mistress arrangement. Whatever the two agree on is up to them. These situations work well as long as there's trust, as Megan has pointed out.

Based on my own experience, I agree with fortunateone's comment above, and earlier in this thread. Far too often "no restrictions" does mean exactly that. In some cases the woman is desperate for money. She may have an infection and be in despair, thinking that things can't get worse now that she's ill. She may be new to the business and inexperienced. She may not know what the industry standards are, or she may believe that most companions will do anything if we're paid enough. With respect, billybob, I'm sad to say that in Vancouver at least, a large proportion of outdoor sex workers do provide bareback services because they have serious addiction problems and/or are mentally ill. The thing we have got to recognize is that many companions only appear to be independents, in charge of the services they provide and the way they're advertised. In every city, there are pimps who recruit inexperienced and/or desperate women, frequently via the "escorts," "casual encounters," "m4w" and "adult" sections of various websites like CL, b*page and similar places. The Asian micro-brothels often work this way, but they're not the only ones. Most women enter the sex trade because something has happened in their lives that has created a desperate need to earn a lot of money quickly. Most women don't know--or aren't aware that they do know--prostitutes. They have little idea about what the sex trade can involve, what their options may be or how to find a good agency or massage parlor. Desperate people frequently do only enough research to find what they want to find, not to learn about what's true. Consider how fear and panic might influence your decisions if you're facing homelessness or losing custody of your child. Pimps take advantage of women in such circumstances every day. They may offer to provide a place to work and to take care of the advertising and bookings. They often provide a driver, as well, who will take the woman from her home to her incall location and back again at the end of her shift. The ads they run will be low-priced or free, but otherwise indistinguishable from most of the other ads on the website. When a prospective client calls the number they can discuss a vast range of services and make a booking. The companion is then faced with someone who believes that he will be able to have X, Y and Z, which may include bareback services. If the companion doesn't want to do these things, she may have considerable trouble with the pimp. I knew a young woman in Vancouver who objected to providing bbfs. When a client complained to her pimp--having paid a considerable fee for this--the pimp gave the woman a heck of a spanking and then advertised her as available for a schoolgirl role play where "Daddy" has heard from the school that she'd been disciplined that day and makes sure she's learned her lesson. Some men are excited by an already-spanked bottom and will pay a significant sum to give the next spanking. This particular companion endured four such men that night, was paid quite well and thereby learned not to say no. She also didn't work for another week until her bruises had healed. I realize that such stories may seem far-fetched, but they're not uncommon. They should make one be very careful about booking a new girl found on a free online advertising site. Finally, while I appreciate that most of the men here are not interested in bareback full service, prospective clients ask me for it once or twice a week, frequently offering to pay double my regular fees, or more, which, frankly, is a heck of a lot of money. I always decline.

My aesthetician also performs waxing services for men. Holding the skin taught is the secret for men as for women. She also charges more for men because it's not quite as straight-forward a procedure. One hint: take a good dose of ibuprofen about half an hour before the waxing. It helps reduce the pain!

You're a winner, Angel. You've already taken one of the biggest hurdles you'll encounter in your recovery. Thank you for your trust and honesty. You will succeed! Take care of yourself first and foremost. We'll be here when you return, eager to connect with you again.

I think that as long as the federal government is doing its utmost to focus on the economy, Joy Smith will not get a lot of airplay. The government needs to look sober, serious, reflective, educated and able to respond to events as they unfold in a timely way. Joy Smith is not an asset in these circumstances, unfortunately. She's almost manic about prostitution and trafficking. She doesn't seem able to project the image that Harper wants, or even to understand it very well, unfortunately. I mean, she's not Flora McDonald! (Mind, Flora is a Tory and the Harper Cons are absolutely not Tories!) As for stigma, I don't think that decriminalization will eliminate it, either. I think there will be a gradual relaxing of stigma over time, though. Maybe some well-known men will come out and let it be known that they enjoy what paid companions have to offer. Maybe some of us will open very high-end private clubs or exclusive brothels and ensure that they are no more troubling to the general public than a fine restaurant or salon. Certainly, some of us who are unable to speak publicly may feel enabled to do so. I can imagine doing such things myself, to be sure. If I could be certain that I wouldn't be arrested, I can think of a lot of things I could do.

Yes, absolutely. Bill C10 had its first reading in the House of Commons on Tuesday. The CBC published an article, "9 key elements of the crime bill," which is very helpful because it includes the background papers for each section of the legislation. The one about human trafficking is part of the Safe Streets and Communities Act, and is entitled "Protecting Vulnerable Foreign Nationals against Trafficking, Abuse and Exploitation Act. It says nothing about targeting johns. It addresses immigration issues, allowing immigration officers to refuse entry into Canada of people who may be subject to exploitation. This is the background paper. The full text of Bill C10 is also available from the Parliament website. The Canadian Centre for Policy Alternatives released "The Fear Factor," its analysis of Bill C10 last week. Many of us suspected that Joy Smith's resolutions pertaining to to prostitution and targeting johns would be dropped from the omnibus bill because the Ontario Court of Appeal will be making its rulings later this fall and because whatever the OCA does, the matter is expected to be taken up by the Supreme Court of Canada, and because the Canadian public has, by and large, polled in favour of Justice Himel's decision. Nonetheless, while we can expect the government will not pose new legislation pertaining to prostitution very soon, there's no reason to think they will drop the idea, either. Constant vigilance continues to be the best advice for all of us!

I'm sure that's true, Emma! I've spent a few nights in airports, myself. I once spent two hours alone with Bruce Cockburn, just talking.

Angela, I think I could organize a bunch of ladies to take part on the telephone, driving bids up, or down, as may be appropriate.... When it's all over, the encounter could also be mailed in, so to speak! :tongue: <Just kidding, guys. I'm jealous that I can't be at the social!>

That's ridiculous. The gene that's responsible for red hair is recessive. Both parents have to have it, and even then, there's no guarantee that any of their children will have red hair. They will all carry the gene, though! The only way to tell whether someone carries the gene for red hair is to analyze their DNA. If the sperm donor lab is just going by donors' hair colour, they're not really able to make a guarantee.

I'd say true, Phaedrus. That's a lot of people's guilty secret, I'm told. I have virtually no gag reflex.

I always look for your posts, hon. You're very clear, helpful and always worth reading! On to the next 1,000!

Yay! Congratulations!

Reducing harm for SWs is important, for sure. I'm very interested in it. The relationship between SWs and drugs, I think, is a chicken-and-egg kind of thing. Ultimately, though, however they started, working in the sex trade becomes linked to their addiction. In downtown Vancouver, addiction determines much of the way they conduct their business and the fees they charge. Rates are keyed to the price of heroin or crack, much of the time, for example. As of this past weekend, heroin was selling for $5 a hit on the steps of the Carnegie Centre; the price tends to fluctuate between $5 and $15.. There are SWs performing blowjobs downtown for $3, which is the price of two cigarettes on the street.

I was moving some files around and thought I'd show you these portraits. In my "other life," I'm a painter. I paint pet portraits sometimes, This is one of my cats. His name is Mozart. He likes to lie on the windowsill, so I painted him there. This was one of my neighbour's cats, peeking out of a shed. And this is Milo when he was about 8 weeks old. (He belongs to another artist.) I've sold a lot of coffee mugs with this painting on it--gifts for teachers. It's called "Milo's First Day at School."

That border collie is fantastic! Who knew they could be so much better at knee bends than a human being?

fortunateone, I agree with you about the numbers. I also find it hard to believe that there are even 1,000 outdoor sex workers in Vancouver; 2,000 seems like a fantasy figure to me. I spend a lot of time in the Downtown Eastside, at different times of day; I also go through the other downtown areas where SWs work fairly regularly. I just can't imagine the numbers are this large. The city report is relying on a survey done in 2009 called Structural and Environmental Barriers to Condom Use Negotiation With Clients Among Female Sex Workers: Implications for HIV-Prevention Strategies and Policy which, in turn, cited a 2006 study, called the Maka Project, Community-based HIV prevention research among substance-using women in survival sex work in which 205 SWs were recruited to answer questions about their potential exposure to HIV. The city report also relies on a 2008 study, Drug sharing with clients as a risk marker for increased violence and sexual and drug-related harms among survival sex workers which seems to have found that 100% of outdoor sex workers were also injectable drug users who reported sharing needles with clients 59% of the time and that the shared drug use led to inconsistent condom usage by the client 95% of the time. I think it's important to know that the Maka Project noted that it was impossible to know how many street-based sex workers there are in Vancouver. The current Vancouver report has used a complicated series of calculations to project the numbers cited. I don't think this is valid or realistic. However, it is useful for the purposes of the report, which is to recommend that the city make provision for reducing the harm experienced by SWs.

Note: The City of Vancouver released its municipal strategy report on the sex trade yesterday. You can read a copy of the report here. While The Tyee is reporting positive response, the Vancouver Sun is not. I'll post the Sun article next. by Ben Christopher, The Tyee A new municipal strategy on the sex trade put forth yesterday by the City of Vancouver has won the tentative support of a prominent sex worker advocacy group. "We feel pretty positive about it," says Kerry Porth, executive director of PACE Society, a group working on behalf of street-level sex workers in Vancouver. "Sex work issues in this city are nuanced and complex and so the solutions have to be nuanced and complex as well. This is an excellent starting place." According to the report released by the city yesterday, the 15 point plan offers "a comprehensive approach to addressing sexual exploitation and sex work through enhanced prevention, opportunities for exiting, and improved health and safety for all Vancouver citizens and neighbourhoods." While Porth says she applauds many of the plan's recommendations, such as the call to increase support for sex workers looking to leave the industry and the proposed funding of a 24 hour drop-in shelter for workers in Vancouver's downtown eastside, her appraisal of the action plan was not wholly positive. "We're not entirely happy with the suggestion that the City increase enforcement on clients of the sex-trade," says Porth. "More enforcement on clients means they're more likely to want to meet in clandestine locations; that places sex workers more at-risk." Porth went on to express concern over another recommendation of the plan that could promote a crackdown on Vancouver's brothels and massage parlors -- far safer locations for sex-workers to ply their trade than the street, she says. The City of Vancouver could not be reached for comment on this story. PACE Society, staffed entirely by former sex workers, favours the decriminalization of all aspects of sex work in Canada. But given the political and legal limitations faced by the city in crafting sex trade policy, the society is largely supportive of the new plan, says Porth. "It's unfortunate that it took nine years after the arrest of Robert Picton for the city to do a comprehensive report looking at the very obvious harms associated with the sex work trade," says Porth. "But we're pleased that they're finally taking a positing and taking some steps." The city's proposed strategy was produced by municipal staff at the behest of a July 2009 motion of city council. Council will review the 15 point plan at a Planning and Environment Committee meeting next Thursday.

Indeed! That does seem harsh. The glorious Gabriella would hardly be warmed-up by the third orgasm, I'm sure. One might imagine that even the Fat Bastards would simply be transfixed with admiration!

Yaaar! It's Talk Like a Pirate Day!!

False, but great fantasy! :icon_wink: I once read War and Peace and Ulysses at the same time.